Random Ramblings

Page 22 of 25 Previous  1 ... 12 ... 21, 22, 23, 24, 25  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by DWags on 2017-05-02, 20:04

The Pantry wrote:
The Pantry wrote:Prayers for her family and friends.  RIP, Adriana.

Adriana Morales de Florencio

My daughter will be starting her contract on Navigator of the Seas in less than a month.
To say I feel uneasy would be understated

Adriana Morales stabbed to death

Yikes. Good thoughts to you Pantry.

_________________
avatar
DWags
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 22713
Join date : 2014-04-21
Age : 55
Location : Right here

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by MattyFresh on 2017-05-02, 20:14

That is some very scary shit Pantry, and I'll echo Dwags sentiment
avatar
MattyFresh
Spartiate

Posts : 3565
Join date : 2015-06-10
Age : 30
Location : Okemos, MI

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by The Pantry on 2017-05-02, 20:21

tGreenWay wrote:Pantry, that's frightening. From the first story you posted, she left the ship with her killer? Does your daughter know if it's another Royal employee, love interest, or maybe a passenger? So sad.
Her murder doesn't appear to have hit mainstream media yet. Been picking through pieces of information.

So far, can only assume she left the boat to go into port with another Royal Caribbean employee/contractor.
avatar
The Pantry
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 8271
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Troy

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-05-02, 20:30

MattyFresh wrote:That is some very scary shit Pantry, and I'll echo Dwags sentiment

Ditto.

Like that one article said, buddy system.
avatar
Floyd Robertson
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 13418
Join date : 2014-04-15
Location : Rolling Hills

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by LooseGoose on 2017-05-02, 20:35

Floyd Robertson wrote:
MattyFresh wrote:That is some very scary shit Pantry, and I'll echo Dwags sentiment

Ditto.

Like that one article said, buddy system.

Careful about recommending women stick with friends. I did that once and heard about it for years.

_________________
"A nod is as good as a wink to a blind mule"
avatar
LooseGoose
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 33584
Join date : 2014-04-18
Age : 97
Location : Up North

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-05-02, 20:36

LooseGoose wrote:
Floyd Robertson wrote:

Ditto.

Like that one article said, buddy system.

Careful about recommending women stick with friends. I did that once and heard about it for years.

Wait, like someone found that comment sexist/offensive?
avatar
Floyd Robertson
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 13418
Join date : 2014-04-15
Location : Rolling Hills

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by The Pantry on 2017-05-02, 20:57

LooseGoose wrote:
Floyd Robertson wrote:

Ditto.

Like that one article said, buddy system.

Careful about recommending women stick with friends. I did that once and heard about it for years.

avatar
The Pantry
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 8271
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Troy

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by CheesySpartan on 2017-05-03, 10:56

The Pantry wrote:
LooseGoose wrote:

Careful about recommending women stick with friends. I did that once and heard about it for years.


Well LG? Come on let's hear it!

PS---and what DWags said...

_________________
"Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence." Vince Lombardi
avatar
CheesySpartan
Spartiate

Posts : 2525
Join date : 2014-05-16
Location : SwillinatI Ch33sySpartan

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by WhiteBoyHatcher on 2017-05-07, 22:27

Today was a Twilight Zone day. I'm kind of convinced there's something paranormal/other-worldly going on.

Had the fam in my wife's new-ish minivan. It's black, so not silver or another color that could be invisible if the sun was shining just right.

I was up at Orion and Adams Rd, driving S on Orion, at the stop light, first car. Light turns green. I proceed through the intersection, only to realize that the guy heading Northbound in the LH turn lane completely ignores me and just turns. I literally had to stop in the middle of the intersection to let him turn in front of me because he wasn't stopping. He looks at me and puts his hand up. I wasn't sure if he was trying to give me a 'fuck you' (which was totally out of place) or a 'sorry' wave. I just let him roll. My wife was pissed. I'm like chill, there's no good to come of honking or gesturing at someone who's clueless. It was too late.

Proceeding South down Orion Rd towards Rochester, I'm cruising 45 ish, there's a Caddy on my tail, a little too close, close enough to annoy me. Approaching a small intersection, I see a car on the right, about to turn left onto northbound Orion Rd. Clearly not enough space for him to turn in front of me. Yet he does. I mean I'm on fucking top of him and he turns anyway. I see it coming so I don't really *slam* on the brakes so much as I apply them firmly. And I realize the idiot Caddy behind me is not wise to the game and creeping up on me fast. So as I'm braking, I turn right onto this dirt road the guy was turning left off of. He's in the middle of the intersection, and now in reverse backing up off of the road as he's realized how stupid he is. The Caddy behind me swerves into oncoming to avoid the idiot and keeps going. We're completely safe and I do a u-turn on the dirt road, now behind the idiot in the left turn lane as he hurriedly turns left so he doesn't have to face up to me (we are turning right off the dirt road, to continue in the direction we were headed).

I look at my wife and I'm like WTF, are we invisible? This was literally within a 5 minute span.

I continue South on Orion Rd towards Rochester Rd. As we are approaching the intersection, there is a neighborhood on the left. A good 150-200 yards from the intersection. SUV waiting to turn out of the subdivision left onto southbound Orion Rd, towards the Roch Rd intersection. No fucking joke he begins turning out right goddamned in front of me. I hit my brakes, he is 2/3 of the way across the road before he sees me and stops in the middle of the road. Luckily for him no one heading N-bound.

I mean what in the fuck. Within a 5-6 minute period I was almost in 3 major accidents. Not because the person in the other car was texting, or playing with their phone. They just all decided to turn out in front of me for no reason whatsoever. Completely fucking bizarre.

_________________
Yeah, well....I *also* cook.
avatar
WhiteBoyHatcher
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 15843
Join date : 2014-04-20
Location : Yeah, well....I *also* cook.

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by tGreenWay on 2017-05-08, 00:04

I've noticed days where there are a bunch of drivers making bad decisions, not necessarily involving me, just really bad choices. You had one of those days.
Also pointing out how it's good to be a defensive driver, the way you were, anticipating moves before they occur. It really does help me being higher off the ground because it's easier to see things unfold. For that reason alone I'll probably always be in an SUV, at least until I'm so old that it becomes my turn to buy an Oldsmobuick to drive 25 in a 45 with my blinker on the entire time.
avatar
tGreenWay
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 21245
Join date : 2014-04-18
Location : East Lansing

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-05-08, 04:39

tGreenWay wrote:I've noticed days where there are a bunch of drivers making bad decisions, not necessarily involving me, just really bad choices. You had one of those days.
Also pointing out how it's good to be a defensive driver, the way you were, anticipating moves before they occur. It really does help me being higher off the ground because it's easier to see things unfold. For that reason alone I'll probably always be in an SUV, at least until I'm so old that it becomes my turn to buy an Oldsmobuick to drive 25 in a 45 with my blinker on the entire time.

You haven't been paying much attention to the Buick ads. They have three of them that let you sit up high. You can still keep the blinker on the entire time, though.
avatar
Floyd Robertson
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 13418
Join date : 2014-04-15
Location : Rolling Hills

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by LooseGoose on 2017-05-08, 08:02

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Today was a Twilight Zone day. I'm kind of convinced there's something paranormal/other-worldly going on.

Had the fam in my wife's new-ish minivan. It's black, so not silver or another color that could be invisible if the sun was shining just right.

I was up at Orion and Adams Rd, driving S on Orion, at the stop light, first car. Light turns green. I proceed through the intersection, only to realize that the guy heading Northbound in the LH turn lane completely ignores me and just turns. I literally had to stop in the middle of the intersection to let him turn in front of me because he wasn't stopping. He looks at me and puts his hand up. I wasn't sure if he was trying to give me a 'fuck you' (which was totally out of place) or a 'sorry' wave. I just let him roll. My wife was pissed. I'm like chill, there's no good to come of honking or gesturing at someone who's clueless. It was too late.

Proceeding South down Orion Rd towards Rochester, I'm cruising 45 ish, there's a Caddy on my tail, a little too close, close enough to annoy me. Approaching a small intersection, I see a car on the right, about to turn left onto northbound Orion Rd. Clearly not enough space for him to turn in front of me. Yet he does. I mean I'm on fucking top of him and he turns anyway. I see it coming so I don't really *slam* on the brakes so much as I apply them firmly. And I realize the idiot Caddy behind me is not wise to the game and creeping up on me fast. So as I'm braking, I turn right onto this dirt road the guy was turning left off of. He's in the middle of the intersection, and now in reverse backing up off of the road as he's realized how stupid he is. The Caddy behind me swerves into oncoming to avoid the idiot and keeps going. We're completely safe and I do a u-turn on the dirt road, now behind the idiot in the left turn lane as he hurriedly turns left so he doesn't have to face up to me (we are turning right off the dirt road, to continue in the direction we were headed).

I look at my wife and I'm like WTF, are we invisible? This was literally within a 5 minute span.

I continue South on Orion Rd towards Rochester Rd. As we are approaching the intersection, there is a neighborhood on the left. A good 150-200 yards from the intersection. SUV waiting to turn out of the subdivision left onto southbound Orion Rd, towards the Roch Rd intersection. No fucking joke he begins turning out right goddamned in front of me. I hit my brakes, he is 2/3 of the way across the road before he sees me and stops in the middle of the road. Luckily for him no one heading N-bound.

I mean what in the fuck. Within a 5-6 minute period I was almost in 3 major accidents. Not because the person in the other car was texting, or playing with their phone. They just all decided to turn out in front of me for no reason whatsoever. Completely fucking bizarre.

If you would smoke more dope prior to driving these things would simply roll off your back, your stress level would be much lower.

_________________
"A nod is as good as a wink to a blind mule"
avatar
LooseGoose
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 33584
Join date : 2014-04-18
Age : 97
Location : Up North

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by WhiteBoyHatcher on 2017-05-08, 09:12

Calmer than you bro.

Driving doesn't stress me or make me very ragey. I was trying to explain to my wife that using the horn should only be to alert another driver of something they haven't noticed. It's not a rage button.

_________________
Yeah, well....I *also* cook.
avatar
WhiteBoyHatcher
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 15843
Join date : 2014-04-20
Location : Yeah, well....I *also* cook.

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by The Pantry on 2017-05-08, 09:23

Cracked a rib yesterday in one of the silliest ways possible...cutting the grass. Have a John Deere rider. Was in the backyard and saw a piece of roofing paper in the grass. Pulled up next to it and leaned over to pick it up with the mower running and blades engaged. Have picked up trash and small branches in the same fashion hundreds of times in the past.

For obvious safety reasons the tractor has a weight/pressure sensor in the seat that kills the engine if you get off while the blades are engaged, so you have to keep your butt properly placed on the seat to do the maneuver. Scooted my butt over so the left cheek was in the center of the seat (where the sensor is) and leaned over to the left to pick up the paper.

Hanging on to the steering wheel with my right hand was leaned over as far as could without lifting my butt and killing the engine. Paper was sitting low in the grass and my fingers were about an inch away. Did a slight lunge to make up the difference. Felt and heard it pop. Managed to get the paper but I'm gonna be feeling this for weeks, maybe months.

Was uncomfortable yesterday but got to sleep pretty easily. This morning was different. Took a couple minutes to get out of bed. Pretty much any movement it aches. Sneezing and even blowing my nose hurts. Taking today off with some hydrocodone.

Getting old sucks
avatar
The Pantry
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 8271
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Troy

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by LooseGoose on 2017-05-09, 07:24

May 9th, 1892 my Grandpa was born.  Declared 4F for WW1.  Lost all his cash in the Depression.  But the farm was paid for so successfully raised 7 kids through the depression. Helped build roads for extra cash - $1 a day and he supplied a team of horses. Sold his cows in 1971.   Farmed for another 15 years.   Buried his wife of 75 years in 1989.   Died at age 104 in 1996.

An amazing span for a lifetime.   Born before cars were on the road, no radio, no television.  Started farming with horses and ended with 4WD tractors with cabs and A/C.  Went from the beginning of flight to men on the moon.  Watched everything go from paper to computers and saw the beginnings of the internet.

RIP Gramps....


_________________
"A nod is as good as a wink to a blind mule"
avatar
LooseGoose
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 33584
Join date : 2014-04-18
Age : 97
Location : Up North

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by WhiteBoyHatcher on 2017-05-11, 09:04


_________________
Yeah, well....I *also* cook.
avatar
WhiteBoyHatcher
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 15843
Join date : 2014-04-20
Location : Yeah, well....I *also* cook.

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-05-12, 13:49

avatar
Floyd Robertson
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 13418
Join date : 2014-04-15
Location : Rolling Hills

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by Watch Out Pylon! on 2017-05-15, 13:13

This is fucked up right here.  Shocked

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-39798988

Warning: The photos themselves are not graphic, but they are a split second from being graphic.
avatar
Watch Out Pylon!
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 11996
Join date : 2014-04-30

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by Robert J Sakimano on 2017-05-15, 14:02

The Pantry wrote:Cracked a rib yesterday in one of the silliest ways possible...cutting the grass. Have a John Deere rider. Was in the backyard and saw a piece of roofing paper in the grass. Pulled up next to it and leaned over to pick it up with the mower running and blades engaged. Have picked up trash and small branches in the same fashion hundreds of times in the past.

For obvious safety reasons the tractor has a weight/pressure sensor in the seat that kills the engine if you get off while the blades are engaged, so you have to keep your butt properly placed on the seat to do the maneuver. Scooted my butt over so the left cheek was in the center of the seat (where the sensor is) and leaned over to the left to pick up the paper.

Hanging on to the steering wheel with my right hand was leaned over as far as could without lifting my butt and killing the engine. Paper was sitting low in the grass and my fingers were about an inch away. Did a slight lunge to make up the difference. Felt and heard it pop. Managed to get the paper but I'm gonna be feeling this for weeks, maybe months.

Was uncomfortable yesterday but got to sleep pretty easily. This morning was different. Took a couple minutes to get out of bed. Pretty much any movement it aches. Sneezing and even blowing my nose hurts. Taking today off with some hydrocodone.

Getting old sucks
that sucks - I've heard that breaking a rib is pretty painful.

that said.. you broke a rib mowing the yard?
avatar
Robert J Sakimano
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 23410
Join date : 2014-04-15

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by The Pantry on 2017-05-15, 14:26

Yep...I said it was silly.

Sneezing hurts the worst.
avatar
The Pantry
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 8271
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Troy

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by tGreenWay on 2017-05-15, 14:51

I think it's nice that everyone here has intentionally stopped being funny out of respect to Pantry.

_________________
There's the right way, the wrong way, and the GreenWay.
avatar
tGreenWay
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 21245
Join date : 2014-04-18
Location : East Lansing

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by Robert J Sakimano on 2017-05-15, 15:10

The Pantry wrote:Yep...I said it was silly.

Sneezing hurts the worst.
I agree - that doesn't sound like fun.

you falling off your lawn mower reminds me of the Six Feet Under episode where the guy was reaching down for his newspaper, fell out of his SUV and ran over himself.

glad all you got was a cracked rib.
avatar
Robert J Sakimano
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 23410
Join date : 2014-04-15

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by The Pantry on 2017-05-15, 18:17

Robert J Sakimano wrote:
The Pantry wrote:Yep...I said it was silly.

Sneezing hurts the worst.
I agree - that doesn't sound like fun.

you falling off your lawn mower reminds me of the Six Feet Under episode where the guy was reaching down for his newspaper, fell out of his SUV and ran over himself.

glad all you got was a cracked rib.
Didn't fall off. Never let go of the steering wheel with my right hand and managed to pull myself back upright in the seat. Got the trash from the lawn but at a price. Won't be doing that maneuver again.
avatar
The Pantry
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 8271
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Troy

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by tGreenWay on 2017-05-15, 18:26

All this pollen is wreaking havoc on my allergies.

_________________
There's the right way, the wrong way, and the GreenWay.
avatar
tGreenWay
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 21245
Join date : 2014-04-18
Location : East Lansing

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by LooseGoose on 2017-05-24, 08:39


_________________
"A nod is as good as a wink to a blind mule"
avatar
LooseGoose
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 33584
Join date : 2014-04-18
Age : 97
Location : Up North

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by The Pantry on 2017-05-24, 20:35

Got front-ended leaving work this evening.  Was behind a POS midsize pickup waiting to get on Mound Rd.  No traffic light there and getting on Mound is generally a PITA in the evening.  Guy in the pickup decides to make his move and hits the gas.  Gets halfway into the far right lane then decides a vehicle on Mound was getting to close so he slams on the brakes.  Vehicle on Mound wasn't traveling that fast and managed to stop easily short of the pickup.  

Instead of completing the right turn he started, dumbass in the pickup throws it in reverse and stomps the gas again.  Seeing his backup lights come on I immediately laid on the horn because I couldn't back up with maybe half a dozen cars behind me.   He slammed his brakes again but too late.  

Very little impact but he hit me.  We get out to check the damage.  He had a towbar in the receiver of his trailer hitch.  Ball on the towbar was the only thing that hit my vehicle.  Had obviously backed into shit with it before because it was fortunately bent down enough the only thing it hit was an air deflector under and behind the front facia of my SUV.

Seemed like a decent kid.  Shop rat.  Maybe early 20's and was apologetic.   Damage was very minimal so I told him not to worry about it.  Thanked me and reached out to shake hands.

Got back in my car and drove off.  Rest of the way home I was pondering how someone could make three stupid driving decisions within maybe 4-5 seconds.
avatar
The Pantry
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 8271
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Troy

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by LooseGoose on 2017-05-27, 16:24

Floyd didn't mention he was spending the weekend in Saginaw.....
Fight between two women arguing over man ends with knife cut

_________________
"A nod is as good as a wink to a blind mule"
avatar
LooseGoose
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 33584
Join date : 2014-04-18
Age : 97
Location : Up North

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-05-27, 16:29

LooseGoose wrote:Floyd didn't mention he was spending the weekend in Saginaw.....
Fight between two women arguing over man ends with knife cut

Everywhere I go, leaving a trail of blood and tears.
avatar
Floyd Robertson
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 13418
Join date : 2014-04-15
Location : Rolling Hills

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by LooseGoose on 2017-06-05, 12:30

And this is why you need a beard. ;-)

The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 25m25 minutes ago
Report: 87% Of U.S. Women Achieve Orgasm When Fantasizing About Gorton’s Fisherman http://trib.al/0ZOONtM


_________________
"A nod is as good as a wink to a blind mule"
avatar
LooseGoose
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 33584
Join date : 2014-04-18
Age : 97
Location : Up North

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-06-10, 18:37

This makes me glad I don't fly much anymore.

How ‘Basic Economy’ Actually Makes You Pay More to Fly

Predictably, basic economy has been condemned as yet another step in the industry’s relentless drive to strip all comfort and grace from steerage class. But there’s a shell game going on here—this consternation overlooks a far more insidious change: While adding these new bargain-basement fares, carriers also raised prices on traditional economy seats. The strategy? If a consumer sees that there’s an even lower class, they’ll pay a little more for the next level up.
avatar
Floyd Robertson
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 13418
Join date : 2014-04-15
Location : Rolling Hills

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by Tim Wakefield on 2017-06-16, 16:40

Just read the stupidest joke of all time. I can't stop laughing

One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50
The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.
The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.
The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.
First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.
Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.
Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.
The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.
First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.
Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.
Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.
The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.
Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years." Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."
Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:
"Guys, I think I fucked up."


https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/4kq13k/3_guys_are_hiking_through_the_woods_when_they/


_________________
Camarón que se duerme, se lo lleva la corriente
avatar
Tim Wakefield
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 3905
Join date : 2014-04-23
Age : 23
Location : EL

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by The Pantry on 2017-06-16, 16:48

The 3rd guy sounds like blanch
avatar
The Pantry
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 8271
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Troy

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by Watch Out Pylon! on 2017-06-16, 16:49

The Pantry wrote:The 3rd guy sounds like blanch

Nah, the guy at the end would have to say "I won" if it was Blanch.
avatar
Watch Out Pylon!
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 11996
Join date : 2014-04-30

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by DWags on 2017-06-17, 09:49

Tim Wakefield wrote:Just read the stupidest joke of all time. I can't stop laughing

One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50
The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.
The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.
The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.
First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.
Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.
Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.
The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.
First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.
Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.
Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.
The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.
Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years." Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."
Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:
"Guys, I think I fucked up."


https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/4kq13k/3_guys_are_hiking_through_the_woods_when_they/



_________________
avatar
DWags
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 22713
Join date : 2014-04-21
Age : 55
Location : Right here

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-06-22, 15:20

The ice cream truck is one of those great American things that I'm surprised still exists.
avatar
Floyd Robertson
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 13418
Join date : 2014-04-15
Location : Rolling Hills

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by tGreenWay on 2017-06-22, 15:55

Floyd Robertson wrote:The ice cream truck is one of those great American things that I'm surprised still exists.

Pedos need to make money, too, Floyd.

_________________
There's the right way, the wrong way, and the GreenWay.
avatar
tGreenWay
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 21245
Join date : 2014-04-18
Location : East Lansing

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by Tim Wakefield on 2017-06-25, 22:46

Keith fucking Appling came into the caf today

I thought he was in jail ??

_________________
Camarón que se duerme, se lo lleva la corriente
avatar
Tim Wakefield
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 3905
Join date : 2014-04-23
Age : 23
Location : EL

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by DWags on 2017-06-25, 22:48

Tim Wakefield wrote:Keith fucking Appling came into the caf today

I thought he was in jail ??

Was he carrying? Did he have a long trench on? Or was he just maybe finishing his degree? Cause the last one would be cool as hell but boring

_________________
avatar
DWags
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 22713
Join date : 2014-04-21
Age : 55
Location : Right here

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by The Pantry on 2017-06-30, 15:31

Strange afternoon.  Employer had National Coney bring their portable set-up in for lunch.  Shortly after they left the power went out.  Traffic was fucked on Mound Rd because lights were out.  Ended up traveling behind a DTE truck carrying a power pole.  Apparently a pole on 17 Mile caught fire.  Checked DTE's outage map when I got home.  Power is out a few streets away but not here  :)  

avatar
The Pantry
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 8271
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Troy

Back to top Go down

Re: Random Ramblings

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-06-30, 15:35

Great, my 6 mile commute home just went from 30 minutes to probably an hour.
avatar
Floyd Robertson
Geronte
Geronte

Posts : 13418
Join date : 2014-04-15
Location : Rolling Hills

Back to top Go down

Page 22 of 25 Previous  1 ... 12 ... 21, 22, 23, 24, 25  Next

View previous topic View next topic Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum