For the second time in the last few months I almost shit in my pants at the airport

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For the second time in the last few months I almost shit in my pants at the airport

Post by gHost Spartan on 2017-06-19, 08:21

Yesterday me and my buddies hiked/train ran Camelback Mountain, Piestewa Peak, and North Mountain in about 108-112 degree temps. Got a some minor heat-related illness and some dehydration. One of the symptoms of heat-related illnesses for me is extreme gas and increased shitting. Got on the redeye from PHX to EWR at 11pm last night after eating a king's ransom of authentic Mexican food from Otro Cafe in Central Phoenix. Took some pharmaceuticals but wasn't able to sleep. Landed in EWR and had extreme sharp stomach pains. I had to take a shit badly. The turds were turtling as I was standing there to exit the plane. I had to make a quick decision: Stay and try to shit on the plane or GTFO ASAP and get to the bathroom. Got into the terminal dodging busy Monday morning foot traffic, got into the toilet, placed toilet paper on the seat and as I turned while simultaneously pulling my shorts down the turds spurted out of my anus and splattered into the bowl water. Whew! Dodged a bullet. Sat there for about ten mins and felt great afterward.

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Re: For the second time in the last few months I almost shit in my pants at the airport

Post by Herbie Green on 2017-06-19, 08:42

I wonder, what would happen if you got to the bathroom and all the stalls were occupied.  I have had a few close calls.  It could be 20 minutes and then as I get to the toilet I cant wait one more second to sit down before risking splattering it all over the place.  I am curious of the science behind this.
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Re: For the second time in the last few months I almost shit in my pants at the airport

Post by Death Roe on 2017-06-19, 08:44

Herbie Green wrote:I wonder, what would happen if you got to the bathroom and all the stalls were occupied.  I have had a few close calls.  It could be 20 minutes and then as I get to the toilet I cant wait one more second to sit down before risking splattering it all over the place.  I am curious of the science behind this.

It's all about bowel control, my man.

One time at work when I was with Dunham's, some people took up both stalls in the mens room. Too busy to dare try the womens stalls.

There is a Sears Outlet next door, so I took my work phone, let the other manager know I had to "step outside" and walked all the way over to shit in their nice single-person bathroom. Thank God I made it. It was a long walk all the way to the back of that store.

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Pea soup, much like clam chowder, needs to have that consistency first, that you can stand the spoon up in it, but the spoon soon tilts, that's the consistency you want.
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Re: For the second time in the last few months I almost shit in my pants at the airport

Post by WhiteBoyHatcher on 2017-06-19, 09:41

I thought I was going to have a close call driving home from lunch with my parents yesterday across town. Alas, my stomach calmed down and all was well. Been a long time since I had a REALLY close call. The benefits of working from home most of the time.

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Re: For the second time in the last few months I almost shit in my pants at the airport

Post by Watch Out Pylon! on 2017-06-19, 09:55

Does this have something to do with getting older? I never ever had these issues when I was in my 20's. Now every once in a while. Something like once every few months or so I get a case like this where my guts just shift, I get this crazy gurgling noise that everyone can hear, and then I gotta take a shit pretty much immediately. Luckily it's only happened when I've had quick access to a shitter.
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Re: For the second time in the last few months I almost shit in my pants at the airport

Post by NigelUno on 2017-06-19, 09:57

gHost Spartan wrote:Yesterday me and my buddies hiked/train ran Camelback Mountain, Piestewa Peak, and North Mountain in about 108-112 degree temps. Got a some minor heat-related illness and some dehydration. One of the symptoms of heat-related illnesses for me is extreme gas and increased shitting. Got on the redeye from PHX to EWR at 11pm last night after eating a king's ransom of authentic Mexican food from Otro Cafe in Central Phoenix. Took some pharmaceuticals but wasn't able to sleep. Landed in EWR and had extreme sharp stomach pains. I had to take a shit badly. The turds were turtling as I was standing there to exit the plane. I had to make a quick decision: Stay and try to shit on the plane or GTFO ASAP and get to the bathroom. Got into the terminal dodging busy Monday morning foot traffic, got into the toilet, placed toilet paper on the seat and as I turned while simultaneously pulling my shorts down the turds spurted out of my anus and splattered into the bowl water. Whew! Dodged a bullet. Sat there for about ten mins and felt great afterward.

The water was like glass.
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Re: For the second time in the last few months I almost shit in my pants at the airport

Post by Rocinante on 2017-06-19, 11:48

I appreciate the title. I loled

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Re: For the second time in the last few months I almost shit in my pants at the airport

Post by P Rob on 2017-06-19, 12:12

Watch Out Pylon! wrote:Does this have something to do with getting older? I never ever had these issues when I was in my 20's. Now every once in a while. Something like once every few months or so I get a case like this where my guts just shift, I get this crazy gurgling noise that everyone can hear, and then I gotta take a shit pretty much immediately. Luckily it's only happened when I've had quick access to a shitter.

Probably has something to do with all the cock chugging you do.

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Re: For the second time in the last few months I almost shit in my pants at the airport

Post by steveschneider on 2017-06-19, 13:08

I guit drinking coffee 4 months ago and haven't had a close call since I stopped.
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