Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

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Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by tGreenWay on Sat 15 Jul 2017 - 23:22

Apparently, all this talk about soccer gets him going.

West Bloomfield police looking for a man seen masturbating in store
http://on.freep.com/2urQL3n
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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by Death Roe on Sat 15 Jul 2017 - 23:23

What's wrong about Jerkin it in the store?

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I've had watery pea soup, it's AWFUL.
Uh, I've had gelatinous, thick pea soup, it's TERRIBLE.
Pea soup, much like clam chowder, needs to have that consistency first, that you can stand the spoon up in it, but the spoon soon tilts, that's the consistency you want.
Number two: Uh, pea soup on it's own can be a little bland. It wants, uh, a fairly aggressive peppering and salting.
Number three: Pea soup needs a fine dice of ham. Not bacon, not any other meat, not turkey. It needs a fine dice of ham.
Uh, number four: Uh, pea soup scorches easily. You don't wanna heat it on a high heat. You wanna heat it on medium low, just until it's warmed through.
Uh, number five: Pea soup is best made, uh, by hand, not out of a Campbell's can. And the key to pea soup, you want a ham bone, uh, for the stock you make, uh, to, to boil your peas.
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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by Turtleneck on Sat 15 Jul 2017 - 23:28

Death Roe wrote:What's wrong about Jerkin it in the store?

Please do not come to the party. Thank you.
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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by tGreenWay on Sat 15 Jul 2017 - 23:30

Death Roe wrote:What's wrong about Jerkin it in the store?

It's too low brow for hoity-toity West Bloomfield.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by WhiteBoyHatcher on Sat 15 Jul 2017 - 23:32

Honestly, of all the stores to jerk in, Kohl's is by far the best. They have mirrored floors. Best stores to jerk in:

1. Kohl's
2. Velvet Touch
3. Frederick's of Hollywood
4. Vicki's Secret
5. TJ Maxx

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by Travis of the Cosmos on Sat 15 Jul 2017 - 23:43

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Honestly, of all the stores to jerk in, Kohl's is by far the best. They have mirrored floors. Best stores to jerk in:

1. Kohl's
2. Velvet Touch
3. Frederick's of Hollywood
4. Vicki's Secret
5. TJ Maxx

^^^ guy who has obviously never jerked it at a Family Dollar ^^^

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by WhiteBoyHatcher on Sat 15 Jul 2017 - 23:48

Guilty.

Err, I mean, Innocent. I think.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by Turtleneck on Sat 15 Jul 2017 - 23:49

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Honestly, of all the stores to jerk in, Kohl's is by far the best. They have mirrored floors. Best stores to jerk in:

1. Kohl's
2. Velvet Touch
3. Frederick's of Hollywood
4. Vicki's Secret
5. TJ Maxx

Ikea
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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by DWags on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:01

Home Depot electronic section.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by tGreenWay on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:05

Turtleneck wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Honestly, of all the stores to jerk in, Kohl's is by far the best. They have mirrored floors. Best stores to jerk in:

1. Kohl's
2. Velvet Touch
3. Frederick's of Hollywood
4. Vicki's Secret
5. TJ Maxx

Ikea

Nah, too hard to run out of the store when the law shows up.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by WhiteBoyHatcher on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:06

Wags I've tried that honestly but Home Depot doesn't have an electronics section. I had to settle for Appliances.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by tGreenWay on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:06

DWags wrote:Home Depot electronic section.

See, I never would have figured you for a public jerker. I had you pegged as a shoplifter.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by Travis of the Cosmos on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:09

Anybody ever fuck at a Golden Corral?

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by DWags on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:13

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Wags I've tried that honestly but Home Depot doesn't have an electronics section. I had to settle for Appliances.

Electrical. Fucking spell check. I like lamps and garden lighting.

In my defense I'm drunk and already in bed at the graduate. Wife is sleeping. Wedding stopped at 11:00. They only played the fight song once. Which was cool.


Last edited by DWags on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:15; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by The Pantry on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:13

@WBH

You cookin' something?
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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by tGreenWay on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:13

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:Anybody ever fuck at a Golden Corral?

I ain't admitting anything, but I recommend skipping the chocolate fountain.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by tGreenWay on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:15

DWags wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Wags I've tried that honestly but Home Depot doesn't have an electronics section. I had to settle for Appliances.

Electrical. Fucking spell check. I like lamps and garden lighting.

Lightbulb up your ass or hot wires to your misters?

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by WhiteBoyHatcher on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:15

The Pantry wrote:@WBH

You cookin' something?

Nope. Maybe a pizza later.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by DWags on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:16

tGreenWay wrote:
DWags wrote:

Electrical. Fucking spell check. I like lamps and garden lighting.

Lightbulb up your ass or hot wires to your misters?

I like the cut of your jib.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by The Pantry on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:18

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:
The Pantry wrote:@WBH

You cookin' something?

Nope. Maybe a pizza later.
Someone around here is cooking something that smells delicious
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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by tGreenWay on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:32

The Pantry wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:

Nope. Maybe a pizza later.
Someone around here is cooking something that smells delicious

Yeah, sorry, I forgot to courtesy flush.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by The Pantry on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 0:47

tGreenWay wrote:
The Pantry wrote:Someone around here is cooking something that smells delicious

Yeah, sorry, I forgot to courtesy flush.
Shouldn't you be fucking yourself now?
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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by tGreenWay on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 1:04

The Pantry wrote:
tGreenWay wrote:

Yeah, sorry, I forgot to courtesy flush.
Shouldn't you be fucking yourself now?

I told myself I wasn't in the mood. I guess I have a headache.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by tGreenWay on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 1:05

But I think I'm faking it.
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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by WhiteBoyHatcher on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 1:17

Just opened a window and I can smell it, too. I'm probably 4-500 yards from Pantry as the crow flies.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by The Pantry on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 1:36

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Just opened a window and I can smell it, too. I'm probably 4-500 yards from Pantry as the crow flies.
Sure as hell isn't Greenway
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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by WhiteBoyHatcher on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 1:49

Man if it weren't nearly 2 AM I'd take my bike out and sniff it down. Next time.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by Travis of the Cosmos on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 1:52

You guys want to stop shitting up the thread about me with your east side trash bullshit? Thx

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by WhiteBoyHatcher on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 2:10

Don't ever call me East side again Travis. I will cut you. Troy is not East side. I grew up West of you, bro. West of you.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by Travis of the Cosmos on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 2:22

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Don't ever call me East side again Travis. I will cut you. Troy is not East side. I grew up West of you, bro. West of you.

What's your cut off line idiot? Cause you're east of my cutoff line.

I grew up east of you. I know east side. I know east side. You're east side.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by WhiteBoyHatcher on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 2:44

Probably Dequindre, more definitely Mound. Either way, I know what East side consists of, and while I know my hood ain't upper crust Troy....it's not East Side.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by Travis of the Cosmos on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 2:57

You're east side. It's okay. Be a diamond hoppers fan. #ESFL

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by tGreenWay on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 2:58

The Pantry wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Just opened a window and I can smell it, too. I'm probably 4-500 yards from Pantry as the crow flies.
Sure as hell isn't Greenway

Again, sorry. There was a lot of garlic in my meals the last few days. Anyone could be confused by it.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by gHost Spartan on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 8:05

Yesterday my buddy told me that he jerked off on a flight from New York to Florida a few years ago. Said he had a boner and it wouldn't go away so he went into the bathroom and jerked off
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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by LooseGoose on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 8:57

gHost Spartan wrote:Yesterday my buddy told me that he jerked off on a flight from New York to Florida a few years ago. Said he had a boner and it wouldn't go away so he went into the bathroom and jerked off

The board has been a hollow shell of itself without this type of content.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by Turtleneck on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 9:04

gHost Spartan wrote:Yesterday my buddy told me that he jerked off on a flight from New York to Florida a few years ago. Said he had a boner and it wouldn't go away so he went into the bathroom and jerked off

Did you get arrested?
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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by tGreenWay on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 9:45

gHost Spartan wrote:Yesterday my buddy told me that he jerked off on a flight from New York to Florida a few years ago. Said he had a boner and it wouldn't go away so he went into the bathroom and jerked off

Mile high tug. He might be eligible for a t-shirt.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by Turtleneck on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 10:17

Travis was in Finland. He is innocent.

Some 789 people at a music festival in eastern Finland went skinny dipping on Saturday, organisers said, beating the previous record set in Australia by just three, reports said.
Organisers were waiting for Guinness World Records to confirm the record.
It is the third Finnish attempt at the record, Yle news website said.
Previous attempts in Helsinki in 2015 and 2016 each attracted about 300 participants.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-40624317
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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by tGreenWay on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 15:52

Turtleneck wrote:Travis was in Finland. He is innocent.

Some 789 people at a music festival in eastern Finland went skinny dipping on Saturday, organisers said, beating the previous record set in Australia by just three, reports said.
Organisers were waiting for Guinness World Records to confirm the record.
It is the third Finnish attempt at the record, Yle news website said.
Previous attempts in Helsinki in 2015 and 2016 each attracted about 300 participants.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-40624317

Erroneous! There's zero chance any woman would voluntarily want to be near naked Travis, let alone hundreds of them.

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Re: Travis is wanted by the West Bloomfield police

Post by The Pantry on Sun 16 Jul 2017 - 16:10

Travis probably doesn't even know where Finland is.
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