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What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend?

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Post by DWags Fri Jun 27, 2014 12:59 pm

I need the legal kind. But I'd still like enough pow to perhaps lose a hand or my hearing if I'm not carful.

Tia.
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Post by goodbar Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:18 pm

Bootleg fireworks!

Ow-lawd! Get tha bucket!
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Post by Tankster Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:57 pm

What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? Firewo14
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Post by Other Teams Pursuing That Fri Jun 27, 2014 2:43 pm

"Grounds for divorce" assortment? What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? 1966794946
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Post by tTy Fri Jun 27, 2014 2:48 pm

What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? 502811600 What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? 502811600 What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? 502811600 What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? 502811600 
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Post by Albert_Potato Fri Jun 27, 2014 2:49 pm

I got the Iwo Jima assortment from Phantom in Farmington. Looks pretty solid. $300

I could easily drop $1000 in that place.

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Post by The Pantry Fri Jun 27, 2014 8:10 pm

Anything but mortars is just fucking around. Black Cat is severely over-priced
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Post by SawGreen Fri Jun 27, 2014 8:13 pm

I like the boxes.  One fuse and a good show.  I hate running back and forth for individual mortars... not to mention, if your mortar tube goes bad, you're screwed.
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Post by The Pantry Fri Jun 27, 2014 8:28 pm

SawGreen wrote:I like the boxes.  One fuse and a good show.  I hate running back and forth for individual mortars... not to mention, if your mortar tube goes bad, you're screwed.
Boxes are good for a finale but some of them fail part way through...then you're left putting your eyesight (or worse) in jeopardy trying to figure out how to re-light it.  

Hard to **** up new composite mortar tubes without putting the shell in upside-down
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Post by Stoops21 Fri Jun 27, 2014 8:45 pm

Thunder kings, mortars, Roman candles 

Anything else is just boring. Oh and get some of those 1/4 sticks of dynamite!




You're gonna stand there, ownin' a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistlin' bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin' kitty chaser? What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? 3493939353
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Post by Snake Plissken Fri Jun 27, 2014 8:47 pm

Just look for the biggest, most expensive boxes in the store. Those are the ones you want if you want legal ones.
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Post by WhiteBoyHatcher Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:15 pm

Go big or go home. This is how I roll.

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Post by pulling69 Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:18 pm

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Post by SawGreen Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:21 pm

The Pantry wrote:
Boxes are good for a finale but some of them fail part way through...then you're left putting your eyesight (or worse) in jeopardy trying to figure out how to re-light it.  

Hard to **** up new composite mortar tubes without putting the shell in upside-down

I did buy a composite tube... all of $3.  I'm sure it will be worth it.

These are some boxes that I have (one a repeat from last year that I enjoyed):





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Post by Floyd Robertson Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:23 pm

The Pantry wrote:Anything but mortars is just fucking around. Black Cat is severely over-priced

The only other thing I amusing were the blocks that held a couple hundred of the short red missiles. Light one fuse and run for cover because those little fuckers were going everywhere at once.
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Post by Floyd Robertson Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:27 pm

goodbar wrote:Bootleg fireworks!

Ow-lawd! Get tha bucket!

One of my all-time favs



Oh lawd creekus


Last edited by Floyd Robertson on Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:28 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by The Pantry Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:39 pm

Floyd Robertson wrote:

One of my all-time favs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6uecmg8bcQ

Oh lawd creekus
This one always reminds of Ross for some reason

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Post by SawGreen Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:51 pm

Wow.  I am looking for this one now.

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Post by The Pantry Fri Jun 27, 2014 10:10 pm

SawGreen wrote:Wow.  I am looking for this one now.

Loud with little variety of color. Pass
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Post by tGreenWay Sat Jun 28, 2014 1:10 am

This one is my all-time favorite:

https://youtu.be/t8whVxTj7iQ
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Post by tanfan! Sat Jun 28, 2014 7:29 am

DWags wrote:I need the legal kind. But I'd still like enough pow to perhaps lose a hand or my hearing if I'm not carful.  

Tia.

My dad used to go to Canada and bring home stuff. Blackcats. M-80s. I destroyed shit
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Post by tGreenWay Sat Jun 28, 2014 10:39 am

We buy a bunch of Chinese lanterns, let them float above the tree line, then try to shoot them down with mortars.

Just kidding. I fucking hate fireworks. White trash waste of money. What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? 502811600
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Post by Gob Bluth Sat Jun 28, 2014 11:27 am

SawGreen wrote:I like the boxes.  One fuse and a good show.  I hate running back and forth for individual mortars... not to mention, if your mortar tube goes bad, you're screwed.

A family friend has some land in the middle of nowhere in Kansas. We were lighting off mortars on his property several years ago and didn't realize that the tub started to melt. We had an "oh shit!" moment when the tube finally gave in, and a mortar bounced off the roof of his pole barn and exploded on the ground not 30 feet from us. Ditched that pussy ass tube and started using a metal pipe. Much better.
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Post by Gob Bluth Sat Jun 28, 2014 11:29 am

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Post by DWags Sat Jun 28, 2014 1:08 pm

Damn, some of you reay are crazy. I'd hang with you, but it would be 50 feet back.
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Post by The Lonely Stoner Sat Jun 28, 2014 1:17 pm

Buy 1,000 or so of those sparklers and then tape them with a couple rolls of electric tape. Have one sparkler protruding from the rest, then light it as a fuse and run away.
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Post by Gob Bluth Sat Jun 28, 2014 1:21 pm

You and your family should have a Roman candle fight.
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Post by SawGreen Sat Jun 28, 2014 1:49 pm

The Lonely Stoner wrote:Buy 1,000 or so of those sparklers and then tape them with a couple rolls of electric tape. Have one sparkler protruding from the rest, then light it as a fuse and run away.

A nephew of mine did this.  A hole burned through the bottom of the tape, and the thing became a rocket with no wings.  It was coming straight toward my cabin before veering off about 20 feet and impaling itself on the ground in-between to cars (among about 6 cars parked together).  It never blew up.

How we managed to avoid any damage is beyond me, but I don't think he has done it since.
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Post by tGreenWay Sat Jun 28, 2014 2:12 pm

Two things that will be spoken countless times over the next week:

"Hey guys, watch this." and
"Hold my beer."
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Post by I.B. Fine Sun Jun 29, 2014 11:07 pm

SawGreen wrote:I like the boxes.  One fuse and a good show.  I hate running back and forth for individual mortars... not to mention, if your mortar tube goes bad, you're screwed.

Just buy a roll of extra fuse, like $3, then use masking tape and tie all the fuses onto the extra piece. Just light one end and step back.
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Post by WhiteBoyHatcher Sun Jun 29, 2014 11:25 pm

tGreenWay wrote:This one is my all-time favorite:

https://youtu.be/t8whVxTj7iQ

Have never seen this one before. Excellent, if real.  What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? 502811600 
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Post by SawGreen Sun Jun 29, 2014 11:38 pm

I.B. Fine wrote:

Just buy a roll of extra fuse, like $3, then use masking tape and tie all the fuses onto the extra piece. Just light one end and step back.

I like that. I will give it a go.
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Post by Gomer Mon Jun 30, 2014 12:58 am

SawGreen wrote:I like the boxes.  One fuse and a good show.  I hate running back and forth for individual mortars... not to mention, if your mortar tube goes bad, you're screwed.
Who needs a tube? Just light one and chuck it into your neighbors azaleas!

Those things are great for concentrated fire on a fortified position too. Great for clearing out "bunkers" in bottle rocket wars.
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Post by tGreenWay Mon Jun 30, 2014 1:15 am

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:

Have never seen this one before. Excellent, if real.  What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? 502811600 

Yeah, if it's fake, they did an excellent job with it. What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? 502811600
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Post by pulling69 Mon Jun 30, 2014 1:16 am

Gasoline explodes FYI
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Post by Izzo Court Mon Jun 30, 2014 7:58 am

tGreenWay wrote:We buy a bunch of Chinese lanterns, let them float above the tree line, then try to shoot them down with mortars.

Just kidding. I fucking hate fireworks. White trash waste of money. What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? 502811600
This sounds like fun, I think I will pick up a couple lanterns and some bottle rockets. 'Merica!
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Post by Cosmo_Kramer Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:25 am

M-80's

Light em in your hand first though
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Post by Nommad2 Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:25 am

tGreenWay wrote:This one is my all-time favorite:

https://youtu.be/t8whVxTj7iQ
 What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? 1966794946   What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? 1966794946   What kind of fireworks do you crazy assholes recommend? 1966794946 
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Post by Cosmo_Kramer Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:37 am

Darwin Award nominee

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Post by The Lonely Stoner Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:48 am

SawGreen wrote:

A nephew of mine did this.  A hole burned through the bottom of the tape, and the thing became a rocket with no wings.  It was coming straight toward my cabin before veering off about 20 feet and impaling itself on the ground in-between to cars (among about 6 cars parked together).  It never blew up.

How we managed to avoid any damage is beyond me, but I don't think he has done it since.

Then he must not have done it right. He probably taped the entire top, when you should only tape the sides so the fire goes up, not down.
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