Oh, Florida

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Jake from State Farm on 2017-02-20, 19:02

Floyd Robertson wrote:Florida Man Stabs His Wife’s Live-In Side Piece During Argument Outside Their Trailer, Police Say

Fred Kimble, 55, his wife Pamela Kimble (reportedly estranged) and her 40-year-old boyfriend all live in the same Islamorada trailer.


They're  living in Islamorada, life can't be that bad. They're probably sitting around all day, drinking margeritas, getting wasted and finally said eff it. I'm going to stab the dumbass sitting next to me that's been drinking all my good tequila, living off my dime and effing my wife.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by DWags on 2017-02-21, 07:28

Well shit, something is out there eating sharks.

The hell eats a shark? Tanfan let's go swimming.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by CheesySpartan on 2017-02-21, 08:10

DWags wrote:Well shit, something is out there eating sharks.

The hell eats a shark? Tanfan let's go swimming.

Sharks are cannibals. Most likely another shark. Crazy to see though.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by LooseGoose on 2017-02-28, 11:38


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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by WhiteBoyHatcher on 2017-02-28, 11:59

Pet peeve of mine - is there anything lazier than setting your kids up inside of a grocery store to hawk their girl scout cookies and other shit?

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by InTenSity on 2017-02-28, 12:28

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Pet peeve of mine - is there anything lazier than setting your kids up inside of a grocery store to hawk their girl scout cookies and other shit?
They do it all the time here. I feel bad telling 5 year old girls that I don't want to buy their stuff, but I get used to it.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by tGreenWay on 2017-02-28, 13:35

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Pet peeve of mine - is there anything lazier than setting your kids up inside of a grocery store to hawk their girl scout cookies and other shit?

Walmart:
•High volume
•High value targets

College dorms/med marijuana shops:
•High


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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by MiamiSpartan on 2017-02-28, 14:10

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Pet peeve of mine - is there anything lazier than setting your kids up inside of a grocery store to hawk their girl scout cookies and other shit?
It's not out of laziness. It's more forced-labor. 90% of the parents don't want to do it. The kids sure as hell don't. The troop leaders are the ones that want to do it, because it fluffs their egos to have their troop get high sales numbers. So they set up the times, and force the parents and kids to do it. My daughter was in Girl Scouts for a few years, and my wife HATED doing those sales.

But if you ask me, it still beats the hell out of panhandling as a fund raiser, which is all the rage down here. I think I've ranted about it before on here. Basically, people go out on the street corners with their kids, and have their kids walk between the cars at the stop light asking for money for whatever team or group they're part of. Yeah, dumbasses, way to teach your kid to beg instead of actually providing goods or services in exchange for money. Good life lesson.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by DWags on 2017-02-28, 14:16

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Pet peeve of mine - is there anything lazier than setting your kids up inside of a grocery store to hawk their girl scout cookies and other shit?


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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-02-28, 15:05

DWags wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Pet peeve of mine - is there anything lazier than setting your kids up inside of a grocery store to hawk their girl scout cookies and other shit?


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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by LooseGoose on 2017-02-28, 15:12

Floyd Robertson wrote:
DWags wrote:



Yeah, that's solid marketing.

I had 3 little girls come to my door yesterday, as they walked up the driveway I was trying to decide which cookies to buy.

They got to the door - and were soliciting donations for a church camp. I was crushed - no Dosidos for me.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by MattyFresh on 2017-03-03, 15:35

she goes "awwwww"
meanwhile that gator appears to be smiling

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by goodbar on 2017-03-03, 15:43

MattyFresh wrote:she goes "awwwww"
meanwhile that gator appears to be smiling


what. ah. sight. that there gator's....got a dern FISH... in its' mouth, Buford. Er you seeing this?? Buford!
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-03-03, 16:10

MattyFresh wrote:she goes "awwwww"
meanwhile that gator appears to be smiling




#savage

I saw a picture of it early this morning, but couldn't find the video to post.  Good work.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by DWags on 2017-04-07, 18:26


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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Dendrobates on 2017-04-07, 18:31

DWags wrote:This time with a Michigan twist;

Don't fucking get in the way of my fireworks bitch.

I saw this headline somewhere else and I thought... sounds like something I would do. I read the article, and yet it's still seems like something I would do if I lost my temper. Fucking disrespectful brats.

Joking aside... I was thinking she was from down river by the looks of her.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by DWags on 2017-04-07, 19:20

Dendrobates wrote:
DWags wrote:This time with a Michigan twist;

Don't fucking get in the way of my fireworks bitch.

I saw this headline somewhere else and I thought... sounds like something I would do. I read the article, and yet it's still seems like something I would do if I lost my temper. Fucking disrespectful brats.

Joking aside... I was thinking she was from down river by the looks of her.

New Baltimore is the lake St Clair down river

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Dendrobates on 2017-04-07, 20:03

DWags wrote:
Dendrobates wrote:

I saw this headline somewhere else and I thought... sounds like something I would do. I read the article, and yet it's still seems like something I would do if I lost my temper. Fucking disrespectful brats.

Joking aside... I was thinking she was from down river by the looks of her.

New Baltimore is the lake St Clair down river

You think it's that bad? I guess since it's pretty much chesterfield, they're quite the same and is an alright area. Maybe I'm not that aware of how it is there.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by LooseGoose on 2017-04-07, 21:11

Dendrobates wrote:
DWags wrote:

New Baltimore is the lake St Clair down river

You think it's that bad? I guess since it's pretty much chesterfield, they're quite the same and is an alright area. Maybe I'm not that aware of how it is there.

I lived at 23 & I94 back in the '84-85 era. It was ok then, typical area on the outskirts of the city.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by DWags on 2017-04-07, 21:13

Dendrobates wrote:
DWags wrote:

New Baltimore is the lake St Clair down river

You think it's that bad? I guess since it's pretty much chesterfield, they're quite the same and is an alright area. Maybe I'm not that aware of how it is there.

Can't move on 23 mile between 4&7 at night. Many people who fled the schools below 13 mile when the bad element moved in. Hard working people who lived in Roseville east Detroit Warren as kids.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-04-08, 05:07

DWags wrote:
Dendrobates wrote:

You think it's that bad? I guess since it's pretty much chesterfield, they're quite the same and is an alright area. Maybe I'm not that aware of how it is there.

Can't move on 23 mile between 4&7 at night. Many people who fled the schools below 13 mile when the bad element moved in. Hard working people who lived in Roseville east Detroit Warren as kids.

Blame all that on Macomb and Washington Townships and the county as a whole. Built a zilly McMansions out there in the last decade without bothering to build up the infrastructure to handle the increased population/traffic. Pure property tax grab.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Rocinante on 2017-04-10, 12:03


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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-04-12, 10:57

Florida issues tips to residents for ‘living with alligators’

Though gators are very visible and “alligator incidents are rare,” the agency offered Floridians these tips:

▪  Swim only in designated swimming areas during daylight hours.

▪  “Keep pets on a leash and away from the water.”

▪  “Never feed alligators, as it is dangerous and illegal.” (Remember, lots of teeth, strong bite.)

▪  If you see one, stay back. If you’re worried about it, call FWC’s Nuisance Alligator Hotline

The more you know.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by CheesySpartan on 2017-04-12, 11:02

Where's the love for the crocodiles in FL??? They like to eat people and pets to! Fucking Speciesism at its finest!
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by InTenSity on 2017-04-12, 11:10

CheesySpartan wrote:Where's the love for the crocodiles in FL??? They like to eat people and pets to! Fucking Speciesism at its finest!
It'd help if there were crocs in Florida.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by WhiteBoyHatcher on 2017-04-12, 11:13

InTenSity wrote:
CheesySpartan wrote:Where's the love for the crocodiles in FL??? They like to eat people and pets to! Fucking Speciesism at its finest!
It'd help if there were crocs in Florida.

My son is smarter than both of us. He's 7. I called BS. He insisted and I googled.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_crocodile

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by InTenSity on 2017-04-12, 12:23

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:
InTenSity wrote:
It'd help if there were crocs in Florida.

My son is smarter than both of us. He's 7. I called BS. He insisted and I googled.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_crocodile
Fuck.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by MiamiSpartan on 2017-04-12, 14:15

InTenSity wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:

My son is smarter than both of us. He's 7. I called BS. He insisted and I googled.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_crocodile
Fuck.
There's a couple of crocs in the canals around Pinecrest, I think, that have been mentioned on the news now and then. Over the last few years, I think they've bitten a person or two, and gotten a couple of pets. I can't remember if they have been caught by now, or not.

They aren't common, but I'll hear them mentioned now and then. I remember on an air boat tour, they said that the Everglades are the only place in the world where alligators and crocodiles live in the same area (it may have been specific to American Alligators and American Crocs, I forget, so no one bite my head off--pun intended--if they saw some nature show about gators and crocs chilling together in Africa or Asia somewhere).
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by I.B. Fine on 2017-04-12, 14:38

Remember a few years back visiting the Keys, we stopped at some park in Big Pine, I believe, with a good size lake. Clear warning not to swim, but of course some knuckleheads were in the water.
Noticed on the far side of the lake, laying in the sun, a salt water croc about the size of a station wagon, like 14'+.
That's how Darwin got his theory.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-05-07, 11:41

10-year-old girl in Florida pries open gator's mouth to free her leg

The girl was swimming Saturday afternoon in a designated swim area of Lake Mary Jane, in water that was about two feet deep and 10 feet from shore, when an 8-foot-9-inch-long alligator bit her.

She was able to pry open the gator's mouth and remove her leg but sustained several puncture wounds to the back of her knee and lower thigh, the state commission said.

Clever girl.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Izzo Court on 2017-05-07, 15:24

Why would she be mad if he was blowing a dude? It's only cheating if he does a chick.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by CheesySpartan on 2017-05-07, 17:22

Floyd Robertson wrote:10-year-old girl in Florida pries open gator's mouth to free her leg

The girl was swimming Saturday afternoon in a designated swim area of Lake Mary Jane, in water that was about two feet deep and 10 feet from shore, when an 8-foot-9-inch-long alligator bit her.

She was able to pry open the gator's mouth and remove her leg but sustained several puncture wounds to the back of her knee and lower thigh, the state commission said.

Clever girl.

Amazing! I thought that was basically impossible for an adult to do? I know its easy to keep their mouths closed due to jaw muscle configuration. Good for her!

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-05-07, 17:25

CheesySpartan wrote:

Amazing!  I thought that was basically impossible for an adult to do?  I know its easy to keep their mouths closed due to jaw muscle configuration. Good for her!

Yeah, I always figured based on having the highest PSI bite it would be impossible to pry one open, even for Superman.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by CheesySpartan on 2017-05-07, 21:04

Floyd Robertson wrote:
CheesySpartan wrote:

Amazing!  I thought that was basically impossible for an adult to do?  I know its easy to keep their mouths closed due to jaw muscle configuration. Good for her!

Yeah, I always figured based on having the highest PSI bite it would be impossible to pry one open, even for Superman.

#futureSpartan

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Dr. Strangelove on 2017-05-09, 14:06


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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Three_Putt_Par on 2017-05-09, 14:17

Dendrobates wrote:
DWags wrote:

New Baltimore is the lake St Clair down river

You think it's that bad? I guess since it's pretty much chesterfield, they're quite the same and is an alright area. Maybe I'm not that aware of how it is there.

I grew up in New Baltimore/Chesterfield Twp and my parents still live there. At this stage of my life, the lake is cool but that's about it. Way too bland, suburban, and family oriented for me. A ton of Walmarters and somewhat of a down river element like DWags mentioned too. It was good place to grow up and go to HS though.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by MiamiSpartan on 2017-05-09, 16:47

Floyd Robertson wrote:
CheesySpartan wrote:

Amazing!  I thought that was basically impossible for an adult to do?  I know its easy to keep their mouths closed due to jaw muscle configuration. Good for her!

Yeah, I always figured based on having the highest PSI bite it would be impossible to pry one open, even for Superman.
I had thought the same thing, but it turns out that when reports says that she "pried" open it's jaws, that wasn't exactly correct. She stuck her fingers in its nostrils so that it couldn't breathe without releasing the pressure on its jaws. Imagine being 10 years old, a gator latched on to your leg, and you have the presence of mind to remember learning that from a gator show. The girl's a badass. Getting a little gator snot on your fingers sure beats losing a leg.

BTW, I had never really given it much thought before this, but at gator wrasslin' shows, the guys usually get on the gator's back and open up it's jaws for the pictures and the ooohs and ahhhs. I never really thought about how they do that, but they usually have one hand on the front/top of the snout, so maybe they're plugging its nostrils to do that.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2017-05-09, 17:19

Ha, I never heard the nostril trick before. It makes sense. I hope I never have the opportunity to practice it live.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Mentalstate on 2017-05-09, 17:31

Crocs in Fl get huge. Are protected.

Have only bit someone once in recorded history, and that was a dumb d kid in Coral Gables about a year ago who went swimming in the canal at 2 in the morning after partying where a 14-footer lived, they think he jumped on it. Bit him once and booked.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by MSU addict on 2017-05-09, 19:36

Can't alligators hold their breath for quite awhile?  I believe 10 minutes or so while actively swimming.

Whatever she did, great job - she prevented the "death roll."
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Re: Oh, Florida

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