Oh, Florida

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by GRR Spartan on 2015-10-06, 23:25

This whole thread is upsetting but its brought my wife and I closer.

I promised her I would never give another man blow jobs on a boat or anywhere and she promised me she'd never stab me or make me kiss a venomous snake.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by LooseGoose on 2015-10-14, 19:24

Man in electric wheelchair arrested for DUI

PALM BAY, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35) - In his arrest report, police say Ronny Hicks appeared highly intoxicated, because his speech was slurred speech and he was acting confused. Since he was also operating a motorized wheelchair, the 54-year-old man was arrested for driving under the influence.


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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by InTenSity on 2015-11-02, 16:34


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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2015-11-02, 17:36


At first I wasn't sure where they were going with "united her bikini bottom", butt then it became abundantly clear.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Other Teams Pursuing That on 2015-11-02, 17:41

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by LooseGoose on 2015-11-12, 11:07

OK - This happened in Mexico but it seems like it should have been Florida.

Couple die having sex at their kid's wedding

A Canadian couple who traveled to Mexico for their daughter’s wedding were found dead after the man suffered a heart attack and squashed his wife when they had sex in a resort bathtub.

Charles Mckenzie, 67, was in a whirlpool spa with his wife, Dorothy, 63, when the tragedy struck, the Canadian Press reported.

More at the link including video....

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2015-11-12, 11:16

LooseGoose wrote:OK - This happened in Mexico but it seems like it should have been Florida.

Couple die having sex at their kid's wedding

A Canadian couple who traveled to Mexico for their daughter’s wedding were found dead after the man suffered a heart attack and squashed his wife when they had sex in a resort bathtub.

Charles Mckenzie, 67, was in a whirlpool spa with his wife, Dorothy, 63, when the tragedy struck, the Canadian Press reported.

More at the link including video....

That's a real Canadian Press alright.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by GRR Spartan on 2015-11-12, 20:48

Just think some brides only have wedding stories about drunk in-laws behaving badly.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Jack N Coke on 2015-11-13, 09:19

LooseGoose wrote:OK - This happened in Mexico but it seems like it should have been Florida.

A Canadian couple who traveled to Mexico for their daughter’s wedding were found dead after the man suffered a heart attack and squashed his wife when they had sex in a resort bathtub.

Charles Mckenzie, 67, was in a whirlpool spa with his wife, Dorothy, 63, when the tragedy struck, the Canadian Press reported.

More at the link including video....

I just want to know how big this guy was that he smothered her.  I know they were both older, but if you're spry enough to get down I feel you should be able to push someone off you in a whirlpool tub.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2015-12-08, 05:49

Florida man eaten by 11-foot alligator after jumping in pond to hide after suspected burglary


BREVARD COUNTY, Fla. - A suspected burglar is dead after being attacked and eaten by an 11-foot-long alligator, News 13 in Orlando reported.

Matthew Riggins, 22, was reported missing on November 13. But part of the man’s body was found 10 days later floating in a pond in east central Florida.

"He was going to do burglaries in the Barefoot Bay area with another individual," Maj. Tod Goodyear said.

"He probably went into the lake to hide from the officers and the dog, and came across that gator," Goodyear said. "To hide somewhere to try and get away, and then meeting up with an animal like that, no, I've never had that happen before."

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by GRR Spartan on 2015-12-08, 12:26

I have a friend who keeps on hounding my wife and I to move to Florida.

Other than all the weird shit, fire ants, pythons, gators (reptiles), sinkholes, ungodly heat from mid April through mid September and geezers driving with their wives as co-pilot I see no reason not to move there.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by LooseGoose on 2016-02-22, 11:06

Cheese on garlic knots sparks brawl at Fla. pizzeria

PALM COAST, Fla. - A brawl broke out at a Florida pizzeria after an order of garlic knots arrived with cheese on top.

A Flagler County police report says 25-year-old Jessica Conti demanded her money back late Friday and was angered when the clerk put her money on the counter in what Conti considered a disrespectful manner.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Rocinante on 2016-02-22, 11:10

LooseGoose wrote:Cheese on garlic knots sparks brawl at Fla. pizzeria

PALM COAST, Fla. - A brawl broke out at a Florida pizzeria after an order of garlic knots arrived with cheese on top.

A Flagler County police report says 25-year-old Jessica Conti demanded her money back late Friday and was angered when the clerk put her money on the counter in what Conti considered a disrespectful manner.

"Oh, no you didn't, bitch!" [two fat women come together in a cartoonish cloud of exclamation points, ampersands and pound signs]

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by LooseGoose on 2016-03-06, 19:14

Doctor of Deception? How a Florida Teen Allegedly Faked Being an M.D.

Ailing octogenarian Anita Morrison was suffering from sharp stomach pains last December when she came across a clinic online called the New Birth New Life ​Medical Center & Urgent Care.

She called the office, located in her hometown of West Palm Beach, Florida, and spoke with a man named Dr. Malachi Love-Robinson, who offered to pay her an in-home visit.

Wearing a white lab coat and stethoscope slung around his neck, Love-Robinson examined Morrison, focusing on her legs, heart and lungs, she said. He told her she had arthritis. Then he sold her natural vitamins to dull the discomfort.

But that wasn't the last time Morrison, 86, would hear from "Dr. Love."

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by tanfan! on 2016-03-07, 05:00

GRR Spartan wrote:I have a friend who keeps on hounding my wife and I to move to Florida.

Other than all the weird shit, fire ants, pythons, gators (reptiles), sinkholes, ungodly heat from mid April through mid September and geezers driving with their wives as co-pilot I see no reason not to move there.

Awesome. Please stay where you're at.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by NigelUno on 2016-03-07, 08:47

GRR Spartan wrote:I have a friend who keeps on hounding my wife and I to move to Florida.

Other than all the weird shit, fire ants, pythons, gators (reptiles), sinkholes, ungodly heat from mid April through mid September and geezers driving with their wives as co-pilot I see no reason not to move there.

Buy a place in (or around) Destin. Rent it out in the summer. Keep your place in Michigan.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Turtleneck on 2016-03-09, 20:46

Pro-gun Florida mom is accidentally shot by her four-year-old son while driving after the boy found her pistol in back seat - just a day after she bragged about his shooting skills


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3484064/Pro-gun-poster-girl-shot-four-year-old-son-driving-Florida-boy-pistol-seat-truck.html
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2016-03-09, 20:53

Turtleneck wrote:Pro-gun Florida mom is accidentally shot by her four-year-old son while driving after the boy found her pistol in back seat - just a day after she bragged about his shooting skills


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3484064/Pro-gun-poster-girl-shot-four-year-old-son-driving-Florida-boy-pistol-seat-truck.html

She's gilty.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2016-03-09, 20:55

She's also down to bang.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Turtleneck on 2016-03-09, 21:13

Floyd Robertson wrote:She's also down to bang.

I could empty my clip.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2016-03-17, 20:35

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by LooseGoose on 2016-04-01, 18:24


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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by CORNER BLITZ on 2016-04-07, 12:29

Bump
http://m.palmbeachpost.com/news/news/crime-law/pbso-man-identified-by-redrum-florida-face-tattoos/nqzXn/


Though a man tried to hide his tattoos when he allegedly broke into a home in a suburban West Palm Beach, the state of Florida tattoo on his face and “red rum” written across his neck were hard to miss on the surveillance footage, according to investigators.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by DWags on 2016-04-07, 12:33

What, you mean everybody doesn't have those tats?

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Rocinante on 2016-04-19, 14:32

http://www.local10.com/video/fight-erupts-during-cooper-city-youth-baseball-game

Parents acting like assholes at a kids game. Not a Florida exclusive, but this one was there.

On that note, though. WTF? It's a kids game. People are idiots.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Dr. Strangelove on 2016-04-24, 21:26

http://theadvocate.com/news/15567771-32/comment-about-mans-florida-gators-clothing-leads-to-argument-at-baton-rouge-club-a-car-chase-and-gun

Gator fan in Baton Rouge. Really keepin it real

A bachelor’s party at a Baton Rouge club early Friday morning was cut short after a comment on a stranger’s Florida Gators attire led to a car chase and a drive-by shooting.

Everett L. Beauchamp IV, 32, was at The Penthouse Club on Bennington Avenue around 2:15 a.m. when one of six men at a bachelor’s party made an unwanted comment on Beauchamp’s Florida Gators gear, the Baton Rouge Police Department report says.

In response, Beauchamp picked up a stool at the valet entrance to the club and tried to assault the man who made the comment, but he was stopped.

Beauchamp threatened to get a weapon and walked to his vehicle to get a handgun, the report says, at which time the men drove away in their vehicle.

Beauchamp followed them in his 2013 Ford Raptor down College Drive onto I-10 eastbound, the report says. The men exited at Essen Lane, only to get back onto I-10 going westbound, at which point Beauchamp tried to ram his vehicle into theirs.

Beauchamp followed them onto the interstate and as they reached the I-10 westbound, I-12 eastbound loop Beauchamp opened fire on their vehicle, striking the vehicle once under the driver’s side taillight.

The men only lost Beauchamp after they exited the interstate at Dalrymple Drive, according to the report.

Shortly before 3 a.m. uniform patrolers found an impaired Beauchamp and his vehicle after he drove his truck into the LSU Lakes at East Lakeshore near Stanford Avenue, according to the report.

Beauchamp told police he had consumed between eight and 10 Corona beers, the report says. A breath test revealed that his blood alcohol level was 0.19.

Police found a Taurus .45 caliber handgun at the scene.

Beauchamp, 5010 Mancuso Lane Apt. 115, was booked into Parish Prison on six counts of assault by drive-by shooting, one count of aggravated criminal damage to property, DWI, reckless driving, failure to maintain control and one count of illegal use of a weapon.



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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Dr. Strangelove on 2016-06-23, 08:48

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/crime/article85306092.html

When an elderly and wealthy Bal Harbour widow lost her eyesight, caretaker Eduardo Ravelo began drugging her while raiding the woman’s credit and bank account.

Over three years, Eduardo Ravelo used his ill-gotten money to indulge in a parody of Miami excesses: dozens of exotic-car rentals and the purchases of luxury watches, paint-ball equipment, electronics, iTunes music, furniture and expensive eyeglasses.

Oh, and tasseled nipple pasties at a swank Bal Harbour lingerie store.


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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by LooseGoose on 2016-06-28, 07:43

Man punched swan in front of off-duty OPD officers, officials say

And now, adding to the indignities, one of Eola's iconic swans has been slugged.

Two off-duty Orlando police officers said they saw 59-year-old Sor Angel Velez punch a mama swan Sunday evening after she reached for him when he stepped too close to her babies.

Velez, listed as a transient on court papers, pleaded no contest Monday to injuring the animal and was sentenced to 10 days in the Orange County Jail.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Dr. Strangelove on 2016-06-28, 08:02

To be fair swans are nasty birds. Basically just a prettier version of the goose.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by LooseGoose on 2016-07-26, 17:51

Soon Intensity can join OTPT - though Tallahassee is quite a hike for him.

First medical marijuana dispensary to open in Florida

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by NigelUno on 2016-07-27, 11:17

I was just in Florida. It was hot. Didn't see any gators.

Saw a black bear though. Ran across the road in front of us.
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by DWags on 2016-07-27, 11:29

NigelUno wrote:I was just in Florida. It was hot. Didn't see any gators.

Saw a black bear though. Ran across the road in front of us.

Black bear vs gator. Who wins?

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Watch Out Pylon! on 2016-07-27, 11:30

DWags wrote:
NigelUno wrote:I was just in Florida.  It was hot.  Didn't see any gators.

Saw a black bear though.  Ran across the road in front of us.  

Black bear vs gator.  Who wins?

In or out of water?
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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by DWags on 2016-07-27, 11:44

Watch Out Pylon! wrote:
DWags wrote:

Black bear vs gator.  Who wins?

In or out of water?

Both

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by InTenSity on 2016-07-27, 11:51

LooseGoose wrote:Soon Intensity can join OTPT - though Tallahassee is quite a hike for him.

First medical marijuana dispensary to open in Florida
I probably won't make it there this year. Maybe there is a vote on it this fall though.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by NigelUno on 2016-07-27, 11:55

DWags wrote:
NigelUno wrote:I was just in Florida.  It was hot.  Didn't see any gators.

Saw a black bear though.  Ran across the road in front of us.  

Black bear vs gator.  Who wins?

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by LooseGoose on 2016-07-27, 12:51

NigelUno wrote:
DWags wrote:

Black bear vs gator.  Who wins?


Nigel? Seeing that sign doesn't qualify as seeing a fucking black bear.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Watch Out Pylon! on 2016-07-27, 13:00

LooseGoose wrote:
NigelUno wrote:


Nigel?   Seeing that sign doesn't qualify as seeing a fucking black bear.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2016-07-27, 13:06

This is as close as I need to get to bears.

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Re: Oh, Florida

Post by Floyd Robertson on 2016-08-03, 11:05

Police: Man Stabs Wife During Argument Over Peeling Mangoes

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) — Police say an 84-year-old man stabbed his wife during an argument that began over the sloppy peeling of mangoes.

The Palm Beach Post reports Uriel Bradshaw was arrested Saturday on charges of aggravated battery with a weapon.

An arrest report says Bradshaw was eating mangoes in a bedroom of the couple’s West Palm Beach home. His 65-year-old wife became irritated when she saw he was putting pieces of the mangoes on the floor.

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Re: Oh, Florida

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