Bob.... Father Stuff.

Bob, I've become a complete bitch in my later 20's and early 30's. I've cried... I mean visibly bawling in front of 500 people because I was so moved at that moment. So I'm no stranger to being a little pussy piece of shit. But one thing that I can't figure out is that those that you can hear 3 seconds and instantly starting weeping like a family member died.

I, again, posted this elsewhere but I'm drunk and benzos have somehow entered my system.

There's a scene with Tom Hanks and his son, who aren't very close emotionally but are put in circumstances that require some semblance of "I'll take care of you." It begs the question, though, why? Because you're my father? What does that mean besides the social status itself. The easy answer is survival but beyond his father's emotional distance he's constantly observing and taking mental notes of what a man is... I dunno, I've debated whether it's the moment (the actor) that has me cutting 14 bags of onions at once or if the melody is that powerful to provoke that emotion within me. I believe it's both... they're all geniuses. The conductor, dialogue writer, casting agent, director, all of them. I've experienced melodies that have moved me before, but never like this. I've never been able to not control my emotions.

I dunno, maybe we're not the the same as I like to think we are but I always really really wanted a relationship with my father that seems to have blossomed far to late.... and it's a bit of a regret of mine... anyway, he's the tune...



Do you get anything out of it or can Travis laugh at me and take glee in the fact that this man shows feminine emotions?

I think people, in general, are a lot more alike than we are different. And I also believe that, at our core, people are good. The family dynamic is something that, all at once, is common in a lot of ways but also unique in every individual instance.

people build walls around their hearts, their emotions - it's often mis-rooted in the spirit of self-preservation. If you don't extend yourself out there, you'll never get hurt, right? In an empirical fashion, that is true. The only ones who can truly hurt us is those we love and, so, if we choose not to love, not to attach our emotions to people, and we'll never get hurt... never feel pain.

However, with that, we often create very unintentional consequences. How are our children supposed to love, supposed to connect with others, supposed to learn to trust, supposed to extend themselves out to enjoy life, love and everything that comes with that, if we don't teach them through our own words and actions? And how are they supposed to do the same with their children?

it's our responsibility as spouses, as parents - as people - to take our life experiences, both positive and negative ones, and either build on the positive ones, or make peace with the negative ones.. tie them up in a little bow and put them away forever. To not pass them on.. obviously, it's a very difficult thing to do and it's not often that we're totally successful at it. But if we are successful at that - even in a shadow of a hint of a fraction - the gift we bestow on those we influence and, subsequently leave behind is immeasurable. It's our glorious footprint on future generations that people we will never know will benefit from. As parents and as people, we have that opportunity.

and, when we can attach music - being a instrumental score, a lyrical composition and, sometimes, both - these emotions can flood us. So I know where you're coming from. Depending on the particular situation, my mood at that specific space in time, I can hear a single note, a chord or a single word or line and tear up automatically. As you know, it's the power of music and it hits each of us differently.

Bob, first I want to thank you for your kind words. I'm obviously not going to get a lot of that around here but you're the one guy that I can count on when I need some emotional support. And you know you have the same from me, don't ever forget it. I e-love you, man (no homo, nttawwt) for being there through some real rough times that are kinda still fresh. You are humble and I respect the shit out of you for that. You'll change the subject but your family is SOOOO lucky for your presence. Your wife and daughter are lucky, man. You're one of a kind and one of a kind that this world needs. Again, I e-love you for some of the things you've said to me that no one ever has... not my emotionally distant parents or revolving door of women. Anyway, I didn't want to gay it up, but I appreciate the shit out of you.
I truly only come back to this site to see what you're up to. And a little to see if Turtleneck wants to play.... the rest can do what they wish I'd do (die in a construction accident or choke on a piece of meat in a restaurant.... who knows what these people yearn for... I try to be nice but I guess I was too mean to them, so... whatevs).

Bobby Sak wrote:If you don't extend yourself out there, you'll never get hurt, right?

Great point. The ones who are able to expose those venerabilities pass those onto us which in turn give us that emotional attachments. Ryan Adams is good at this...."To tell the truth it's hard enough about a lover Who you want to hide your darkness from So they won't let you down"'
Honest writers are so rare. That one gets me... it hits close to home.

Thanks for the answer without the "You're an idiot... go kill yourself" posts. (I'm being hyperbolic, but I get the gist from these people)

Bob, first I want to thank you for your kind words. I'm obviously not going to get a lot of that around here but you're the one guy that I can count on when I need some emotional support. And you know you have the same from me, don't ever forget it. I e-love you, man (no homo, nttawwt) for being there through some real rough times that are kinda still fresh. You are humble and I respect the shit out of you for that. You'll change the subject but your family is SOOOO lucky for your presence. Your wife and daughter are lucky, man. You're one of a kind and one of a kind that this world needs. Again, I e-love you for some of the things you've said to me that no one ever has... not my emotionally distant parents or revolving door of women. Anyway, I didn't want to gay it up, but I appreciate the shit out of you.
I truly only come back to this site to see what you're up to. And a little to see if Turtleneck wants to play.... the rest can do what they wish I'd do (die in a construction accident or choke on a piece of meat in a restaurant.... who knows what these people yearn for... I try to be nice but I guess I was too mean to them, so... whatevs).

thanks, man - I appreciate that. I really do. I know that about 98% of the time here, I'm a total idiot but I suspect most people who are willing to can see that.

Great point. The ones who are able to expose those venerabilities pass those onto us which in turn give us that emotional attachments. Ryan Adams is good at this...."To tell the truth it's hard enough about a lover Who you want to hide your darkness from So they won't let you down"'
Honest writers are so rare. That one gets me... it hits close to home.

Thanks for the answer without the "You're an idiot... go kill yourself" posts. (I'm being hyperbolic, but I get the gist from these people)

Ryan Adams, Jason Isbell, Springsteen (obviously) - I have a running list of probably 8-10 tunes that, at any given time, can hit me like a ton of bricks (in a good way). Often depends on my current mood, how much beer and/or whiskey I've had, etc - but sometimes the world can just stop at a certain song or even a certain line.

got a bit of a pop hook to it, which isn't a bad thing, but when you have time check out "Relatively Easy" by Isbell.. hints a lot at addiction, the inability to maintain relationships, undermining his own self - and yet keeping it all in perspective now that he's found someone that accepts him and makes him want to be a better person by, first, loving himself.

The whole song is about trying to maintain a healthy perspective on life while still admitting your own shortcomings and working on them not only of yourself, but for those willing to invest their time and love into your life.

and I dig how through the course of the song he goes from "here with you there's always something to look forward to, my angry heart beats relatively easy".. to "my lonely heart beats relatively easy".. he goes from "angry" to "lonely" and you get the feeling that it's a move in a positive direction for him.

Ryan Adams has a way with words. The guy is not attractive in any sense of the word.... but his voice with his poetry and chord progressions..... shit I'd sleep with the guy based on that talent alone.

Have you seen his lately slam piece? My dear god she's a doll. Mandy Moore was no slouch either, but he's a cheating asshole (like all of us emotionally troubled musicians)

I think this thread says all that needs to be about everything. Good luck to you, Bob. I've said it before but...
have a long life.... you deserve the shit out of it.

I'm hoping I die in a car accident tomorrow (one car accident), we'll see. It's harder to kill yourself than you'd think without pills.

Actually, Bob. You mind if I us stay in here? That way I won't offend the sensitive suburbanites but it's nice to talk to you. I need all the help I can right now.

Not trying to pry, but what type of lawyers is your wife?

Question... for a friend, of course. But is it possible to cry too much? I know it'll pretty bad when OTPT find this chance to shit on me... but I just want to make it and I feel I'm not....

I don't know what the hell it is.

Bob, I'm not doing too good brotha. I'm really, really not doing good at all and I don't know how to handle it or what to do about it.

I just want a bag to put me to sleep. I just want to go to sleep for a very long time.

I've never had this kind of emotional pain in my life and none gives a shit. I don't mean on here, I don't expect anyone to care... in fact I expect them to do exactly what Green and OTPT are attempting to which is make me feel as bad as possible.

But jesus, man..... what the hell I do? I'm so fucked up.... I can't stop sobbing. I can't help want to fight back each time a poster wanted to talk shit. I'm angry as fuck, I really do just want to go to sleep and just not wake up. Shouldn't that be legal?

Oops sorry 3 posts in a row (4 now)... I don't want a ticket from the posting police around here. They don't waste a chance to let you know you typing style is not to their liking.

I just realized I haven't slept since Friday night. Man..... I keep everyone myself everyone has to go through this but fuck... I get the trifecta all at once.

Dude I am not trying to make you feel bad at all - get some sleep and lay off the drugs for a minute.

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:Dude I am not trying to make you feel bad at all - get some sleep and lay off the drugs for a minute.

OTPT, you don't have to pretend that you care anymore. You've already earned the good guy tag around here.

Go out and have fun. Be a young 20's something in a fun city.

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:get some sleep and lay off the drugs for a minute.

Plus, and this is just me making an observation because I know you don't "truly" care. But this is why I take offense when you try to address me.

You're morally superior to me. I get it. I accept it. You had a much better family life than I did so you have a huge step up on me. You live in a gorgeous state and I don't get to follow my dream any longer.

I get it, man. I just get sick of the constant reminder that you feel you're such a better person than me because I guarantee you take far more drugs than I do... not that that's any gauge for a person's goodness.

But like... tackling someone who's robbing an old woman at gun point or punching out a guy with a knife at Hungry Howie's. That's suppose to be the good things to do for people but guess where it gets you? It gets you fuck all... it gets you a pat on the back from ass hole in blue who says "call me if you need anything... hardy har har" and 6 months later they're giving you a ticket for going 5 over.

I've tried the be a good person part. It doesn't get you anyway. In fact it makes you worse. Maybe you've had better luck than me.

But I'm just rambling anyways so instead of getting yelled at by you and Roc I'll just shut up. No need to reply.

xsanguine wrote:Question... for a friend, of course. But is it possible to cry too much? I know it'll pretty bad when OTPT find this chance to shit on me... but I just want to make it and I feel I'm not....

I don't know what the hell it is.

Bob, I'm not doing too good brotha. I'm really, really not doing good at all and I don't know how to handle it or what to do about it.

I just want a bag to put me to sleep. I just want to go to sleep for a very long time.

I've never had this kind of emotional pain in my life and none gives a shit. I don't mean on here, I don't expect anyone to care... in fact I expect them to do exactly what Green and OTPT are attempting to which is make me feel as bad as possible.

But jesus, man..... what the hell I do? I'm so fucked up.... I can't stop sobbing. I can't help want to fight back each time a poster wanted to talk shit. I'm angry as fuck, I really do just want to go to sleep and just not wake up. Shouldn't that be legal?

check your PM's, dude.

I miss you, Bob. You're all I've got left on this particular board. Please come back soon.