tOfficial What do you want to tell your neighbor? thread

[tGreenWay]

Hi neighbor! Your dog has been outside for almost four hours and has been barking the entire time, probably because it’s alone and scared. If you don’t want to be a responsible dog owner, then find it a new home with people who won’t ignore it for hours on end.

[Floyd Robertson]

Dear Dipshit Neighbor,
Stop putting your trash out on the normal night when it's a holiday week. You've lived in the neighborhood for 15 years, you fucking ought to know the routine by now.
~ Floyd

[Travis of the Cosmos]

Dear neighbor,

Thank you for being a swell guy :) :) :)

Please ignore any late night wailing, screaming, or otherwise distressed noises you may hear. My cat is very ill. 

Also if you pick up any odors, my car guy is working in the garage a lot lately, it’s been getting stinky stink stinky! Peeeee yeeeewwwww!!! Cars amirite? 

Anyway to thank you for being a swell guy I’m having a barbecue this weekend feel free to pop by :):):):)

[The Pantry]

Old next door neighbors were maybe 20-25 years older than kitten and I.  Played golf with him a couple times...good dude.  His wife seemed nice enough at neighborhood parties/euchre tournaments.  We had a playscape in the backyard and told them their grandkids could use it anytime.    

Rarely saw her walk the dog...just let it out ocassionally.  Big, white, hairy dog...no idea what breed.  Friendly, rarely barked. and was fine with our kids.  

Dead certain the wife taught it to shit on our front lawn.

[tGreenWay]

Dear neighbor,

Thank you for being a swell guy :) :) :)

Please ignore any late night wailing, screaming, or otherwise distressed noises you may hear. My cat is very ill. 

Also if you pick up any odors, my car guy is working in the garage a lot lately, it’s been getting stinky stink stinky! Peeeee yeeeewwwww!!! Cars amirite? 

Anyway to thank you for being a swell guy I’m having a barbecue this weekend feel free to pop by :):):):)

When it comes to having you as a neighbor, it seems like Alan Haller has the patience of a saint. Sorry about your cat.

[tGreenWay]

Old next door neighbors were maybe 20-25 years older than kitten and I.  Played golf with him a couple times...good dude.  His wife seemed nice enough at neighborhood parties/euchre tournaments.  We had a playscape in the backyard and told them their grandkids could use it anytime.    

Rarely saw her walk the dog...just let it out ocassionally.  Big, white, hairy dog...no idea what breed.  Friendly, rarely barked. and was fine with our kids.  

Dead certain the wife taught it to shit on our front lawn.

[Jake from State Farm]

Hi neighbor! Your dog has been outside for almost four hours and has been barking the entire time, probably because it’s alone and scared. If you don’t want to be a responsible dog owner, then find it a new home with people who won’t ignore it for hours on end.

Rename your wifi router to "shut up your damn dog"

[Floyd Robertson]

Hi neighbor! Your dog has been outside for almost four hours and has been barking the entire time, probably because it’s alone and scared. If you don’t want to be a responsible dog owner, then find it a new home with people who won’t ignore it for hours on end.

Rename your wifi router to "shut up your damn dog"

I think you're on the right track, but maybe something like "animal welfare surveillance van" would put some fear in them.

[CaptainSlow33]

To my neighbor on my right: Howdy neighbor! Thanks for being a great neighbor, and always offering a friendly chat each time we cross paths. Great neighbor. 11/10 no notes.

To the neighbor on my left: Bruv. You can't sing. Literally no one in the neighborhood wants to listen to you belt our your shitty "The Doors" karaoke at all hours of the night in your garage. You are a decent enough guy, so I'm not going to say anything, but holy shit man. I'm glad you're having fun, though.

[Zurn]

To my neighbor on my right:

To the neighbor on my left:

Do you mean looking at the houses from the street or from the perspective of looking out at the street from your house.

Might be relevant ....

[tGreenWay]

To my neighbor on my right:

To the neighbor on my left:

Do you mean looking at the houses from the street or from the perspective of looking out at the street from your house.

Might be relevant ....

This needs to be clarified before Swill Team Six takes out power to the crooner’s house.

[Floyd Robertson]

Do you mean looking at the houses from the street or from the perspective of looking out at the street from your house.

Might be relevant ....

This needs to be clarified before Swill Team Six takes out power to the crooner’s house.

[Rick Saunders]

Hello Neighbor number A. Even though you still have that sign in your yard, Sorry that my wife's dog doesn't always stay in the yard despite the invisible fence and that I let my yard adjacent to you go wild with native meadow and woodland. And FYI you cannot petition the lord with prayer in my opinion but I don't mind you telling me how much you try.

Hello neighbor number B. I don't like your english ivy any more than I like neighbor A's (from whence it probably came). I don't mind at all that you don't pull any of your thistle or other weeds out of it (see message to neighbor A). Mind if I plant a redbud and a lindera benzoin in there?

[Nordic]

I don’t have much to say. Does that mean I’m the asshole neighbor?

[tGreenWay]

I don’t have much to say. Does that mean I’m the asshole neighbor?

Probably. Try to be nicer to all the new faces.

[tGreenWay]

Hello Neighbor number A. Even though you still have that sign in your yard, Sorry that my wife's dog doesn't always stay in the yard despite the invisible fence and that I let my yard adjacent to you go wild with native meadow and woodland. And FYI you cannot petition the lord with prayer in my opinion but I don't mind you telling me how much you try.

Hello neighbor number B. I don't like your english ivy any more than I like neighbor A's (from whence it probably came). I don't mind at all that you don't pull any of your thistle or other weeds out of it (see message to neighbor A). Mind if I plant a redbud and a lindera benzoin in there?

All groundcover should be napalmed, but so should 95% of the world’s redbud trees. Don’t worry about the redbuds, though. They throw so many seeds that dozens more will grow for every one torched. They’ll be back to full strength in a year or two.

[Rick Saunders]

Hello Neighbor number A. Even though you still have that sign in your yard, Sorry that my wife's dog doesn't always stay in the yard despite the invisible fence and that I let my yard adjacent to you go wild with native meadow and woodland. And FYI you cannot petition the lord with prayer in my opinion but I don't mind you telling me how much you try.

Hello neighbor number B. I don't like your english ivy any more than I like neighbor A's (from whence it probably came). I don't mind at all that you don't pull any of your thistle or other weeds out of it (see message to neighbor A). Mind if I plant a redbud and a lindera benzoin in there?

All groundcover should be napalmed, but so should 95% of the world’s redbud trees. Don’t worry about the redbuds, though. They throw so many seeds that dozens more will grow for every one torched. They’ll be back to full strength in a year or two.

I've transplanted every one I have from seedlings.

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