welp, ive been on the shitter so long in home goods that the lights went off.

by **SeeRockCity** 2015-12-18, 19:35

Any suggestions? I've tried waving my arms but the sensor isn't picking it up.

What's protocol here?

by **The Pantry** 2015-12-18, 19:38

Next dude walking in is gonna be weirded-out knowing you were shitting in the dark.

Irregardless, don't turn on your phone flashlight

by **SeeRockCity** 2015-12-18, 19:38

Update: In the dark, I fumbled the only roll of toilet paper and it rolled out of the stall and across the room. I'm also commando tonight due to a laundry shortage. Not ideal.

by **xsanguine** 2015-12-18, 19:39

Was gonna say... just throw a wad of TP over the top of the stall, dude. C'mon...

Also, pics?

by **The Pantry** 2015-12-18, 19:40

No choice but to penguin out to recover the roll. Now it's okay to use the phone flashlight

by **SeeRockCity** 2015-12-18, 19:46

The Pantry wrote:No choice but to penguin out to recover the roll. Now it's okay to use the phone flashlight

This was a good strategy but halfway to the runaway roll I heard someone coming and had to retreat. At least the lights are on. Things getting better.

by **Jake from State Farm** 2015-12-18, 19:54

SeeRockCity wrote:
The Pantry wrote:No choice but to penguin out to recover the roll. Now it's okay to use the phone flashlight

This was a good strategy but halfway to the runaway roll I heard someone coming and had to retreat. At least the lights are on. Things getting better.

You'd probably scare the heck out of him if you tried skidding across the floor in lieu of using tp, so don't do it.

by **Turtleneck** 2015-12-18, 19:57

Have you showered yet, SRC?

by Guest 2015-12-18, 20:03

Call 911, explain your dilemma - demand action.

by **The Pantry** 2015-12-18, 20:14

LooseGoose wrote:Call 911, explain your dilemma - demand action.

Sounds like something Bob would do

by **GRR Spartan** 2015-12-18, 20:19

Get used to life in the dark until you get out of the staff.

A few year back I sold dozens of occupancy sensors to WMU after a prof slipped in a stall and none of the sensors were placed where they could see him move. The brand I sold had a small microphone and turned on by sound. An expensive version of The Clapper.

If you are so inclined, twist your ankle or fall on a knee, go to the ER for treatment so its documented and sue their ass for improper placement and timing of occupancy sensors.

by **Turtleneck** 2015-12-18, 20:24

Have you tried taping your feet?

by **The Pantry** 2015-12-18, 20:26

Or jingling keys?

by **SeeRockCity** 2015-12-18, 20:31

Ok, I'm out. Was able to wait it out then noticed a spare roll in the changing table. Close call. Thanks to everyone for the suggestions.

by Guest 2015-12-18, 20:38

SeeRockCity wrote:Ok, I'm out. Was able to wait it out then noticed a spare roll in the changing table. Close call. Thanks to everyone for the suggestions.

You're a goddamned hero. Obama will have a Presidential Medal of Freedom ready for you at the next ceremony.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2015-12-18, 21:08

What kind of a cretin takes a dump in the shitter at Home goods?

by **Snake Plissken** 2015-12-18, 21:14

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:What kind of a cretin takes a dump in the shitter at Home goods?

My thoughts exactly

by **Death Roe** 2015-12-18, 21:19

Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go. I will take a shit anywhere. I do not get much of a heads up thanks to my shitty digestive system.

by **The_Dude** 2015-12-18, 21:22

The Pantry wrote:Next dude walking in is gonna be weirded-out knowing you were shitting in the dark.

Irregardless, don't turn on your phone flashlight

Irregardless isn't a word

by **Death Roe** 2015-12-18, 21:35

The_Dude wrote:
The Pantry wrote:Next dude walking in is gonna be weirded-out knowing you were shitting in the dark.

Irregardless, don't turn on your phone flashlight

Irregardless isn't a word

The_Dude, however, is a douche.

by **Turtleneck** 2015-12-18, 21:37

Death Roe wrote:
The_Dude wrote:

Irregardless isn't a word

The_Dude, however, is a douche.

https://spartanswill.forumotion.com/t4901-i-fear-izzo-is-going-down-the-keady-knight-route

by **The Pantry** 2015-12-18, 21:47

The_Dude wrote:
The Pantry wrote:Next dude walking in is gonna be weirded-out knowing you were shitting in the dark.

Irregardless, don't turn on your phone flashlight

Irregardless isn't a word

3-5%

by **pulling69** 2015-12-18, 22:06

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:What kind of a cretin takes a dump in the shitter at Home goods?

This....store shitters are the worst. Your best bets are hotels and conference centers.

by **The Pantry** 2015-12-18, 22:15

pulling69 wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:What kind of a cretin takes a dump in the shitter at Home goods?
This....store shitters are the worst. Your best bets are hotels and conference centers.

Sometimes you just gotta go.

Once lit up a restroom at Home Depot...

by **tGreenWay** 2015-12-18, 22:17

Assume a wide stance and when a guy comes in ask if he'll do you a big favor.

by **tGreenWay** 2015-12-18, 22:18

Or you could call the store and ask the courtesy desk to help you out of a little pickle.

by **The Pantry** 2015-12-18, 22:26

The Pantry wrote:
pulling69 wrote:
This....store shitters are the worst. Your best bets are hotels and conference centers.
Sometimes you just gotta go.

Once lit up a restroom at Home Depot...

Suffered writer's block after composing those lyrics to a new country song. A little help, please

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2015-12-18, 22:29

P, did you hear gunshots earlier? Around 7:20?

by **The Pantry** 2015-12-18, 22:34

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:P, did you hear gunshots earlier? Around 7:20?

Heard something. Thought it was fireworks

by **pulling69** 2015-12-18, 22:40

The Pantry wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:P, did you hear gunshots earlier? Around 7:20?
Heard something. Thought it was fireworks

You sure it wasn't SeeRock's asshole?

by **The Pantry** 2015-12-18, 22:56

pulling69 wrote:
The Pantry wrote:
Heard something. Thought it was fireworks
You sure it wasn't SeeRock's asshole?

WBH lives around the corner. Heard what I think he heard but no idea what it was.

by **pulling69** 2015-12-18, 23:15

The Pantry wrote:
pulling69 wrote:
This....store shitters are the worst. Your best bets are hotels and conference centers.
Sometimes you just gotta go.

Once lit up a restroom at Home Depot...

You are doing it wrong, one has to survey the area in case of emergency...Always have a solid, clean, private shitter on the mind. If you are ever in the DC/MD/NoVA area I've got you covered(save for the super secret bathrooms at the airports only a select few will ever know about or have access to).

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2015-12-18, 23:21

Yeah, I'm surprised you heard it. I've been second guessing myself. I'm a city slicker, never owned a gun in my life but I know well the sound of one going off and the volume of the noise and the echo. I hear target practice every damn week during golf league and often up north. My first instinct was - must be fireworks - wait. Definitely NOT fireworks. That's a gun. I heard probably 7-10 "shots" coming from what I thought to be the direction of the middle school. I called Troy PD and they sent someone out. Guy dropped by the house and said I wasn't the only one who called but he found people out walking dogs and such in that direction who didn't see/hear anything.

Second guessing myself because even though the difference between fireworks sounds and gunshot sounds are quite distinct, I do remember that the "blasts" seemed to be pretty evenly spaced.

by **Turtleneck** 2015-12-18, 23:35

The Pantry wrote:
pulling69 wrote:
You sure it wasn't SeeRock's asshole?
WBH lives around the corner. Heard what I think he heard but no idea what it was.

You ever bang his single neighbor?

by **The Pantry** 2015-12-18, 23:50

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Yeah, I'm surprised you heard it. I've been second guessing myself. I'm a city slicker, never owned a gun in my life but I know well the sound of one going off and the volume of the noise and the echo. I hear target practice every damn week during golf league and often up north. My first instinct was - must be fireworks - wait. Definitely NOT fireworks. That's a gun. I heard probably 7-10 "shots" coming from what I thought to be the direction of the middle school. I called Troy PD and they sent someone out. Guy dropped by the house and said I wasn't the only one who called but he found people out walking dogs and such in that direction who didn't see/hear anything.

Second guessing myself because even though the difference between fireworks sounds and gunshot sounds are quite distinct, I do remember that the "blasts" seemed to be pretty evenly spaced.

You called TPD? You're probably now on their "persons of interest" list. Troy is tight.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2015-12-18, 23:53

Fuck yeah I did. Not normal to hear gunshots around here, especially that many. Doesn't make sense. Honestly I put my kids in the basement and put Cujo upstairs with me for a bit. Never know these days.

by **pulling69** 2015-12-18, 23:56

Sounds like Dearborn is starting to make a move on Troy. Good luck

by **The Pantry** 2015-12-19, 00:12

pulling69 wrote:Sounds like Dearborn is starting to make a move on Troy. Good luck

Sterling Heights is right next to Troy. Dearborn is inconsequential.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2015-12-19, 00:14

Not true. Sterling Heights is all Chaldos. The Moslems are all down in Little Beirut. And yes, those are my people, technically, somehow.

by **The Pantry** 2015-12-19, 01:31

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Not true. Sterling Heights is all Chaldos. The Moslems are all down in Little Beirut. And yes, those are my people, technically, somehow.

You throw down the prayer rug before or after placing parlay bets?

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