Do I have a botfly?

by **tTy** 2016-02-02, 21:05

I have had this thing growing on my back for like a month and a half. Just had the wife try to squeeze it and it hurts like a motherfucker. I've been drinking, and I'm not a pussy, and my pain tolerance has to be sky high right meow, but she can't pop this motherfucker. I'll post a pic if someone thinks they can diagnose this fucker and give me a solid on how to get rid of it. I'm not against getting pissed off and lancing it with a razor blade if that is what it will take. I just need someone to tell me WTF is going on here.

by **steveschneider** 2016-02-02, 21:10

Probably a boil.

by **tTy** 2016-02-02, 21:16

How do you pop this fucker? I have pics now, but they are just = red spots on my back. I will post if it helps.

by **tTy** 2016-02-02, 21:26

I just want to say that it is probably only the size of a silver dollar, but it feels like a dinner plate. OK, it is tiny, but it hurts like a MFer and is not anything like any other "acne" I've ever had.

Advice?

Vice grips?
Plieers?
Doctor?

I admit, I'd rather just get super drunk and DIY this motherfucker than go see a doctor.

by **Turtleneck** 2016-02-02, 21:30

I thought this was going to be about the Michigan band Botfly. Saw them once. I can't remember where. Maybe EL.

by **Giant Moose** 2016-02-02, 21:31

Definitely zika virus. You gone.

by **tTy** 2016-02-02, 21:35

Giant Moose wrote:Definitely zika virus. You gone.

bro, I don't have unprotected sex with mosquitoes.... like, never.....

by **steveschneider** 2016-02-02, 21:37

tTy wrote:How do you pop this fucker? I have pics now, but they are just = red spots on my back. I will post if it helps.

I think you want to boil some water, put it on a wash cloth ( you need it hot) and then use it on the boil as a hot compress. Wait until that fucker comes to a head and then have your wife squeeze it or poke it with a sterilized safety pin.

Make sure you have some paper towel on hand.

by **Giant Moose** 2016-02-02, 21:38

tTy wrote:
Giant Moose wrote:Definitely zika virus. You gone.

bro, I don't have unprotected sex with mosquitoes.... like, never.....

by **tTy** 2016-02-02, 21:40

Can't I just sack up like an actual man and have her cut it open with a razor blade? And then squeeze the custard out with her thumb nails while I bite on a pillow?

by **Giant Moose** 2016-02-02, 21:41

tTy wrote:Can't I just sack up like an actual man and have her cut it open with a razor blade? And then squeeze the custard out with her thumb nails while I bite on a pillow?

Can you make sure you record this and post it on YouTube or Vine or something?

by **tTy** 2016-02-02, 21:42

Giant Moose wrote:
tTy wrote:Can't I just sack up like an actual man and have her cut it open with a razor blade? And then squeeze the custard out with her thumb nails while I bite on a pillow?
Can you make sure you record this and post it on YouTube or Vine or something?

If that is what it turns out to be, I will... that sounds message board friendly.

by **The Pantry** 2016-02-02, 21:45

Sterilize a single edge razor blade and have the wife cut that fucker open. Have one of your kids hold the phone to video.

Will go viral after posting it on youtube

by **tTy** 2016-02-02, 21:49

The Pantry wrote:Sterilize a single edge razor blade and have the wife cut that fucker open. Have one of your kids hold the phone to video.

Will go viral after posting it on youtube

My kids are only 5.5 and not even able to wipe they own butts. If I'm gonna film my back getting split open with white hot steel and have it posted on the innernets, I'm sure as shit going to have someone more capable than Sir Pisses The Bed Every Single Fucking Night Still, and Madam I'm Escared T'Fuck Out Of My Own Closet manning the cameras....

by **The Pantry** 2016-02-02, 21:52

tTy wrote:
The Pantry wrote:Sterilize a single edge razor blade and have the wife cut that fucker open. Have one of your kids hold the phone to video.

Will go viral after posting it on youtube

My kids are only 5.5 and not even able to wipe they own butts. If I'm gonna film my back getting split open with white hot steel and have it posted on the innernets, I'm sure as shit going to have someone more capable than Sir Pisses The Bed Every Single Fucking Night Still, and Madam I'm Escared T'Fuck Out Of My Own Closet manning the cameras....

Okay. Have the wife hold the phone with one hand and cut that fucker open with the other.

by **tTy** 2016-02-02, 21:54

The Pantry wrote:
tTy wrote:

My kids are only 5.5 and not even able to wipe they own butts. If I'm gonna film my back getting split open with white hot steel and have it posted on the innernets, I'm sure as shit going to have someone more capable than Sir Pisses The Bed Every Single Fucking Night Still, and Madam I'm Escared T'Fuck Out Of My Own Closet manning the cameras....
Okay. Have the wife hold the phone with one hand and cut that fucker open with the other.

It looks like it is going to have to grow for a while. She is in bed, and I have to get up at like 4 to drive down to Highland Park for meetings.

by **Giant Moose** 2016-02-02, 21:56

tTy wrote:
The Pantry wrote:Okay. Have the wife hold the phone with one hand and cut that fucker open with the other.

It looks like it is going to have to grow for a while. She is in bed, and I have to get up at like 4 to drive down to Highland Park for meetings.

I will text Bob so he can pray that you'll still be with us at 4 am.

by **tTy** 2016-02-02, 22:00

Giant Moose wrote:
tTy wrote:

It looks like it is going to have to grow for a while. She is in bed, and I have to get up at like 4 to drive down to Highland Park for meetings.
I will text Bob so he can pray that you'll still be with us at 4 am.

Well, he is a socialist/Commie/fuckwad, so he is prolly worried about all of our well being. I don't really give a fuck about him, but if he wants to chime in, and it makes you feel better, that's OK, I guess.

by **The Pantry** 2016-02-02, 22:03

tTy wrote:
The Pantry wrote:Okay. Have the wife hold the phone with one hand and cut that fucker open with the other.

It looks like it is going to have to grow for a while. She is in bed, and I have to get up at like 4 to drive down to Highland Park for meetings.

Stop by WBH's and have him do the cutting. If free at the time, I'll do the vid recording.

by **Nordic** 2016-02-02, 22:04

Looks like you'll need some tweezers and a bottle of whiskey wouldn't hurt

by **Gomer** 2016-02-02, 22:04

You got the MRSA, my man.

by **Code_Warrior** 2016-02-02, 22:05

A boil is an infected area and squeezing it is not recommended because it's easy to cause the infection to spread and make you sick. In addition, depending on what the infection is, it could also be contagious, so it's best to wear sterile gloves when dealing with it. In addition, if you don't properly sterilize the cutting tool or pin then you can make the infection worse. A pin may not work if the pus is not liquid. The pus might be more of a soft cheese consistency and may require another method to clean it.

It's best to let a doctor lance and clean it out with properly sterilized tools and prescribe medicine to help deal with the infection. While you can do this yourself, the odds of you making it worse are higher than letting a doctor do it properly.

by **Other Teams Pursuing That** 2016-02-02, 22:09

tTy wrote:
The Pantry wrote:Sterilize a single edge razor blade and have the wife cut that fucker open. Have one of your kids hold the phone to video.

Will go viral after posting it on youtube
I'm sure as shit going to have someone more capable than Sir Pisses The Bed Every Single Fucking Night Still, and Madam I'm Escared T'Fuck Out Of My Own Closet manning the cameras....

by **steveschneider** 2016-02-02, 22:15

Just a second of this ran while I was trying to cut and paste the link over to this forum and the gag reflex went off. I do not have the stomach to watch this shit.

by **SpartanInNH** 2016-02-02, 22:26

Code_Warrior wrote:A boil is an infected area and squeezing it is not recommended because it's easy to cause the infection to spread and make you sick. In addition, depending on what the infection is, it could also be contagious, so it's best to wear sterile gloves when dealing with it. In addition, if you don't properly sterilize the cutting tool or pin then you can make the infection worse. A pin may not work if the pus is not liquid. The pus might be more of a soft cheese consistency and may require another method to clean it.

It's best to let a doctor lance and clean it out with properly sterilized tools and prescribe medicine to help deal with the infection. While you can do this yourself, the odds of you making it worse are higher than letting a doctor do it properly.

Hey, guys, listen to the smart guy here. Really doctor-like and all.

Fuck you, pal, I say Ty razors that fucker right open and gets a good night's sleep.

by **I.B. Fine** 2016-02-02, 22:58

tTy wrote:Can't I just sack up like an actual man and have her cut it open with a razor blade? And then squeeze the custard out with her thumb nails while I bite on a pillow?

Can someone verify whether or not pillow biting videos violate TOS?

Actually, should just avoid the risk and see a medical professional, but bring a camera, just in case.

by **kingstonlake** 2016-02-03, 01:54

Shoot it off. Be a man.

by **StylesGShmooth** 2016-02-03, 01:59

My friend Griff was in Botfly, he could jam.

by **Code_Warrior** 2016-02-03, 07:07

SpartanInNH wrote:
Code_Warrior wrote:A boil is an infected area and squeezing it is not recommended because it's easy to cause the infection to spread and make you sick. In addition, depending on what the infection is, it could also be contagious, so it's best to wear sterile gloves when dealing with it. In addition, if you don't properly sterilize the cutting tool or pin then you can make the infection worse. A pin may not work if the pus is not liquid. The pus might be more of a soft cheese consistency and may require another method to clean it.

It's best to let a doctor lance and clean it out with properly sterilized tools and prescribe medicine to help deal with the infection. While you can do this yourself, the odds of you making it worse are higher than letting a doctor do it properly.

Hey, guys, listen to the smart guy here. Really doctor-like and all.

Fuck you, pal, I say Ty razors that fucker right open and gets a good night's sleep.

What was I thinking? I guess I lost my mind. Thanks for setting me straight!

by **DWags** 2016-02-03, 07:22

The fuck.

by **Turtleneck** 2016-02-03, 07:24

StylesGShmooth wrote:My friend Griff was in Botfly, he could jam.

.

I think that is probably the same band I mentioned above. Cool. Tell Griff I saw him once.

by **Watch Out Pylon!** 2016-02-03, 08:28

So did a bunch of baby worms bust out of your back yet?

by **Giant Moose** 2016-02-03, 08:31

Watch Out Pylon! wrote:So did a bunch of baby worms bust out of your back yet?

I hope Bob's prayers worked and tTy is still with us.

by **Death Roe** 2016-02-03, 09:11

Looks like a cyst that I had a few years ago. Schedule a doctor appointment, and they'll probably give you minor outpatient surgery, cut it out, and you're on your way.

by **Robert J Sakimano** 2016-02-03, 09:15

Giant Moose wrote:
tTy wrote:

It looks like it is going to have to grow for a while. She is in bed, and I have to get up at like 4 to drive down to Highland Park for meetings.
I will text Bob so he can pray that you'll still be with us at 4 am.

no amount of deep sleep will stop me from praying for my fellow man.

Thanks for the text. My thoughts and prayers are with Ty as he battles Zika.

by **Giant Moose** 2016-02-03, 09:41

Robert J Sakimano wrote:
Giant Moose wrote:
I will text Bob so he can pray that you'll still be with us at 4 am.
no amount of deep sleep will stop me from praying for my fellow man.

Thanks for the text. My thoughts and prayers are with Ty as he battles Zika.

Peace be with you, Bob.

by **Robert J Sakimano** 2016-02-03, 09:42

Giant Moose wrote:
Robert J Sakimano wrote:no amount of deep sleep will stop me from praying for my fellow man.

Thanks for the text. My thoughts and prayers are with Ty as he battles Zika.
Peace be with you, Bob.

and also with you.

by **Rocinante** 2016-02-03, 12:25

Hot compress that bitch and give it a day to come to a real head. Stop being a bitch while you're at it.

by **tGreenWay** 2016-02-03, 13:34

kingstonlake wrote:Shoot it off. Be a man.

No need to go Terminator on it. He's already got the razor, but instead of lancing it open, I say just use the blaze like a lawn mower and cut the whole thing clean off. Your wife can use some sandpaper to soften the edges before putting on the dressing. And use Miracle Whip, not that Hellman's crap.

by **tGreenWay** 2016-02-03, 13:35

by Sponsored content