My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
+15
AMwood
Giant Moose
tanfan!
Floyd Robertson
Ben Seaver
tGreenWay
WCS
duffy munn
GRR Spartan
NigelUno
Stoops21
Turtleneck
The Pantry
WhiteBoyHatcher
tTy
19 posters
Page 1 of 1
My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
Maybe....
He came running at me and fucking caught me MMA/UMF (Mixed Martial Arts/Ultimate Man Fightin') in the left check bone with his knee. I was antagonizing him, and messing with him, and then he went all Kyler Elsworth on my face. Props to the little bugger, but I am very likely waking up with a shiner in the AM and have to go into the office with this thing. I already have a small mouse under my eye...
the only thing that sucks about this is that I have a reputation in the office for getting drunk as **** and falling on my face. I'm not saying that it is a well earned reputation... I'm just saying that I have one, mKay? Anyway, ain't nobody going to believe this one...... How do I convince these fuckers that a toddler gave me this one???
It is still swelling. I'm fucked.
He came running at me and fucking caught me MMA/UMF (Mixed Martial Arts/Ultimate Man Fightin') in the left check bone with his knee. I was antagonizing him, and messing with him, and then he went all Kyler Elsworth on my face. Props to the little bugger, but I am very likely waking up with a shiner in the AM and have to go into the office with this thing. I already have a small mouse under my eye...
the only thing that sucks about this is that I have a reputation in the office for getting drunk as **** and falling on my face. I'm not saying that it is a well earned reputation... I'm just saying that I have one, mKay? Anyway, ain't nobody going to believe this one...... How do I convince these fuckers that a toddler gave me this one???
It is still swelling. I'm fucked.
tTy- Geronte
- Posts : 4770
Join date : 2014-05-10
WhiteBoyHatcher- Geronte
- Posts : 28965
Join date : 2014-04-20
Location : Welcome to the Revolution
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
You deserve it, having the kid up this late
The Pantry- Geronte
- Posts : 19066
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Troy
Turtleneck- Geronte
- Posts : 42497
Join date : 2014-04-22
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:pics asshole
I will sexxt you one. Can you put it up on the innernet? A'cuz, I'm not even going to try that shit right now.
tTy- Geronte
- Posts : 4770
Join date : 2014-05-10
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
Turtleneck wrote:Good.
I don't even know you.
tTy- Geronte
- Posts : 4770
Join date : 2014-05-10
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
tTy wrote:
I will sexxt you one. Can you put it up on the innernet? A'cuz, I'm not even going to try that shit right now.
Yep.
WhiteBoyHatcher- Geronte
- Posts : 28965
Join date : 2014-04-20
Location : Welcome to the Revolution
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
The Pantry wrote:You deserve it, having the kid up this late
I have twins. and they go to bed when they feel like it, basically. Also, the assault took place well over two hours ago. I'm just now feeling the affects, dick. Get off me!
tTy- Geronte
- Posts : 4770
Join date : 2014-05-10
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:
Yep.
Hold please..... Lemme go take a decent selfie and shoot it to you.
tTy- Geronte
- Posts : 4770
Join date : 2014-05-10
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
Probably because you're drunktTy wrote:
Also, the assault took place well over two hours ago. I'm just now feeling the affects
The Pantry- Geronte
- Posts : 19066
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Troy
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:
Yep.
sent..... Still swelling...
tTy- Geronte
- Posts : 4770
Join date : 2014-05-10
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
You spilled a beer on me at a Poison concert in 1987 at Castle Farms. I did not forget.tTy wrote:
I don't even know you.
Your child beast has provided me with vengeance.
Last edited by Turtleneck on 2014-06-03, 06:44; edited 1 time in total
Turtleneck- Geronte
- Posts : 42497
Join date : 2014-04-22
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
Get off the Internet and ice it you dingus
Stoops21- Spartiate
- Posts : 847
Join date : 2014-04-23
Location : East Lansing
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
The Pantry wrote:
Probably because you're drunk
Wrong. Prolly because my 3.5 year old is a fucking bad. ass....
He is pushing 55 LB's right now and he's not got a bit of fat on him. He is going to be a giant. His feet are almost as big as mine already. It is like having a baby German Shepard Puppy that can speak to you. He is a damn monster for his age.
tTy- Geronte
- Posts : 4770
Join date : 2014-05-10
WhiteBoyHatcher- Geronte
- Posts : 28965
Join date : 2014-04-20
Location : Welcome to the Revolution
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:
tTy- Geronte
- Posts : 4770
Join date : 2014-05-10
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
Could always tell your co-workers your wife caught you the wrong way with one of her dildosWhiteBoyHatcher wrote:
The Pantry- Geronte
- Posts : 19066
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Troy
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
The Pantry wrote:You deserve it, having the kid up this late
Excellent point.
Next time give him Skittles and a 2 liter of Mountain Dew about 8:00 so he'll start winding down.
GRR Spartan- Geronte
- Posts : 10551
Join date : 2014-04-25
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
Parents don't get black eyes, babysitters do.
duffy munn- Geronte
- Posts : 8909
Join date : 2014-04-19
Location : east lansing
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
duffy munn wrote:Parents don't get black eyes, babysitters do.
good point.... Babysitter also get even. Motherfucker better be watching his back tomorrow. Juss' sayin'.
tTy- Geronte
- Posts : 4770
Join date : 2014-05-10
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
tTy wrote:Maybe....
He came running at me and fucking caught me MMA/UMF (Mixed Martial Arts/Ultimate Man Fightin') in the left check bone with his knee. I was antagonizing him, and messing with him, and then he went all Kyler Elsworth on my face. Props to the little bugger, but I am very likely waking up with a shiner in the AM and have to go into the office with this thing. I already have a small mouse under my eye...
the only thing that sucks about this is that I have a reputation in the office for getting drunk as **** and falling on my face. I'm not saying that it is a well earned reputation... I'm just saying that I have one, mKay? Anyway, ain't nobody going to believe this one...... How do I convince these fuckers that a toddler gave me this one???
It is still swelling. I'm fucked.
Ouch...you got molly wopped.
WCS- Spartiate
- Posts : 265
Join date : 2014-04-30
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
Smart kid.
Oh, and nice wallpaper.
Oh, and nice wallpaper.
tGreenWay- Geronte
- Swill Pick 'em 2022 Regular Season Champion
- Posts : 55751
Join date : 2014-04-18
Location : East Lansing
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
Obligatory you gone
Ben Seaver- Spartiate
- Posts : 49
Join date : 2014-04-29
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
tGreenWay wrote:Smart kid.
Oh, and nice wallpaper.
The added border with the moose and bear is what really does it.
Floyd Robertson- Geronte
- Posts : 29133
Join date : 2014-04-15
Location : Rolling Hills Alcoholic Rehabilitation Center: Where They Don't Beat You or Anything
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
tTy wrote:Maybe....
He came running at me and fucking caught me MMA/UMF (Mixed Martial Arts/Ultimate Man Fightin') in the left check bone with his knee. I was antagonizing him, and messing with him, and then he went all Kyler Elsworth on my face. Props to the little bugger, but I am very likely waking up with a shiner in the AM and have to go into the office with this thing. I already have a small mouse under my eye...
the only thing that sucks about this is that I have a reputation in the office for getting drunk as **** and falling on my face. I'm not saying that it is a well earned reputation... I'm just saying that I have one, mKay? Anyway, ain't nobody going to believe this one...... How do I convince these fuckers that a toddler gave me this one???
It is still swelling. I'm fucked.
You called him a little bugger. Does that mean you engage in Buggery? Let's bugger!
tanfan!- Spartiate
- Posts : 4558
Join date : 2014-04-16
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
I am a fan of moose.Floyd Robertson wrote:
The added border with the moose and bear is what really does it.
Giant Moose- Geronte
- Posts : 5837
Join date : 2014-04-16
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
Floyd Robertson wrote:
The added border with the moose and bear is what really does it.
Betcha they're scratch-n-sniff.
tGreenWay- Geronte
- Swill Pick 'em 2022 Regular Season Champion
- Posts : 55751
Join date : 2014-04-18
Location : East Lansing
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
Wallpaper is coming down as soon as I can trust both of the runts not to ruin whatever we put back up. They have torn half of that shit off the walls but I'm not going to do anything about it until they know better.
Eye is still puffy, very tender and there is a small bruise forming. lol
Eye is still puffy, very tender and there is a small bruise forming. lol
tTy- Geronte
- Posts : 4770
Join date : 2014-05-10
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
So how bad is everyone at work teasing you that you got beat up by a 3-year-old?tTy wrote:Wallpaper is coming down as soon as I can trust both of the runts not to ruin whatever we put back up. They have torn half of that shit off the walls but I'm not going to do anything about it until they know better.
Eye is still puffy, very tender and there is a small bruise forming. lol
Giant Moose- Geronte
- Posts : 5837
Join date : 2014-04-16
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
you should beat him mercilessly.
AMwood- Geronte
- Posts : 1415
Join date : 2014-04-20
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
I think you lose no matter what you tell your coworkers man. Frankly, I'd go with "I got drunk and fell on my face." Because A). You got up and got your ass to work on time and none of them could do it (hence you can call them all pussies). and 2). It's better than, "I got my ass kicked by a toddler." any day.
Rocinante- Geronte
- Posts : 20582
Join date : 2014-04-21
Location : East Lansing, MI
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
tTy wrote:Wallpaper is coming down as soon as I can trust both of the runts not to ruin whatever we put back up. They have torn half of that shit off the walls but I'm not going to do anything about it until they know better.
Eye is still puffy, very tender and there is a small bruise forming. lol
Are these your kids?
Turtleneck- Geronte
- Posts : 42497
Join date : 2014-04-22
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
I'm guessing that's the last time you snitch about that cookie jar thing?
Larry Kazamias- Geronte
- Posts : 290
Join date : 2014-04-24
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
tTy wrote:
Wrong. Prolly because my 3.5 year old is a fucking bad. ass....
He is pushing 55 LB's right now and he's not got a bit of fat on him. He is going to be a giant. His feet are almost as big as mine already. It is like having a baby German Shepard Puppy that can speak to you. He is a damn monster for his age.
55 lbs is GROSSLY overweight for a 3.5 yr old. Unless he's a mutant, your kid needs to go on a diet.
Nommad2- Geronte
- Posts : 394
Join date : 2014-04-25
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
Nommad2 wrote:
55 lbs is GROSSLY overweight for a 3.5 yr old. Unless he's a mutant, your kid needs to go on a diet.
He isn't fat. He is a giant. Also, 3.5 years old may be a bit misleading, he will be 4 in early August. He and his twin sister have been off the percentile charts since birth. I had to buy them bike helmets that were recommended for 8 year olds..... LAST YEAR.......... My ball caps fit him now without adjustment. I am 5' 9" 175-180#...
Also, shiner update = dark bruising under eyeball now = pretty much full on black eye. My first ever!!!
tTy- Geronte
- Posts : 4770
Join date : 2014-05-10
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
You know how you keep brining up your guns in other threads? Why do you even need them if you aren't going to use them when you get assaulted?
Travis of the Cosmos- Geronte
- Posts : 31470
Join date : 2014-04-15
Age : 40
Location : Please cease horny posting
Re: My 3.5 year old just gave me a black eye....
Travis of the Cosmos wrote:You know how you keep brining up your guns in other threads? Why do you even need them if you aren't going to use them when you get assaulted?
I don't think I could have proven self defense, or else I would have smoked his ass.
tTy- Geronte
- Posts : 4770
Join date : 2014-05-10
Similar topics
» Red Wings are selling a limited edition black on black t-shirt for Black History Month
» Wharton center gift shop.
» US Price Inflation Year-to-Year Prediction - Reset after Mid-Term - December 2022 Title Update
» 28 year old man assaults 92 year old..... girlfriend?
» GM just gave me $1,000
» Wharton center gift shop.
» US Price Inflation Year-to-Year Prediction - Reset after Mid-Term - December 2022 Title Update
» 28 year old man assaults 92 year old..... girlfriend?
» GM just gave me $1,000
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
|
|