Why aren't bidets more popular in America?

Think about it. You wouldn't use a piece of dry toilet paper to clean crap off your hand, would you? So why do we use dry toilet paper to clean our asses?

I have a friend who is a plumber. He designed and built one and then tried to market it to hotel and restaurant chains, however nobody wanted it.

'cause they're made for them European sissies.. and we're 'Merica, by god..

USA!! USA!!

I've never used one. Do they typically have different levels of water pressure? You know, for those clingers that get caught in your ass hair.

Baby wipes is where it's at.

AMwood wrote:Baby wipes is where it's at.

Yeah, but then don't you clog the toilet?

One of my first porn memories was watching some big titted blonde chick get off on a bidet. I need to find out what her name was. Guessing it was early 80s porn.

Giant Moose wrote:
Yeah, but then don't you clog the toilet?

Thats what all the plumbers and rotorooter guys will tell you, but I say bullshit. Been doing it for years and I've never had a problem.

Giant Moose wrote:
Yeah, but then don't you clog the toilet?

Use TP as your starter and a wipe as your closer. Flush the TP, toss the wipe.

Cool Runnings wrote:

Use TP as your starter and a wipe as your closer. Flush the TP, toss the wipe.

No!

Giant Moose wrote:Think about it. You wouldn't use a piece of dry toilet paper to clean crap off your hand, would you? So why do we use dry toilet paper to clean our asses?

Must be because most Americans like walking around with dirty asses.

Giant Moose wrote:
Yeah, but then don't you clog the toilet?

They will definitely clog a septic tank, unlike toilet paper which bio-degrates. Try simply running a little water on the toilet paper to moisten it.

tTito wrote:
Try simply running a little water on the toilet paper to moisten it.

So now I have to stand up with a crappy butthole and get to the sink on the other side of the bathroom? That doesn't sound fun.

Giant Moose wrote:
So now I have to stand up with a crappy butthole and get to the sink on the other side of the bathroom? That doesn't sound fun.

Bring a cup of water with you to the crapper then. Try it, seriously, it takes away a lot of the abrassive qualities of the TP and you get clean faster. I also made it a habit to shat every morning before I go in the shower and now that's what my body is accustomed to doing.

http://luxebidet.com/vi110.html

Best thing I've ever bought. Took 15 minutest to install.

Toilet Paper lobby, you don't want to mess with those sonsofbitches.

Cool Runnings wrote:

Use TP as your starter and a wipe as your closer. Flush the TP, toss the wipe.

Nothing better than having a waste basket full of shitty wipes.

By-Tor wrote:One of my first porn memories was watching some big titted blonde chick get off on a bidet.   I need to find out what her name was.  Guessing it was early 80s porn.

Mary Sue Coleman.

Giant Moose wrote:Think about it. You wouldn't use a piece of dry toilet paper to clean crap off your hand, would you? So why do we use dry toilet paper to clean our asses?

scUM fans provide the same service. And they're cheaper.

Watch Out Pylon! wrote:I've never used one. Do they typically have different  levels of water pressure? You know, for those clingers that get caught in your ass hair.

Some do, some also have heated seats, the option for warm or hot water and a nice finisher of directed hot air to dry off with

Giant Moose wrote:
Yeah, but then don't you clog the toilet?

Toddler wipes (not baby wipes) are marketed as flushable FWIW

Why do I know this shit?

Rodeo Burger wrote:

Nothing better than having a waste basket full of shitty wipes.

The toilet paper has most of the poop on it, the wipe is just at the end. Not just throwing handfulls of shitrags in the basket. Also I only use a wipe on rough sittings, they're not piling up. If people want to flush them that's fine, I just don't personally trust them.

http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/video-hub/home--garden/bed--bath/flushable-wipes/16935265001/22783507001/

I always thought a bidet shot a stream of water up in the air, but when I went to Europe most of them just looked like sinks. I didn't quite understand the logistics of the whole thing.

ROtown Sparty wrote:I always thought a bidet shot a stream of water up in the air, but when I went to Europe most of them just looked like sinks.  I didn't quite understand the logistics of the whole thing.

Wait, wut? I thought they were drinking fountains.

i always thought they were like waterpiks to clean your teeth in the mornings.

Cool Runnings wrote:

Use TP as your starter and a wipe as your closer. Flush the TP, toss the wipe.

This.

tTito wrote:

They will definitely clog a septic tank, unlike toilet paper which bio-degrates. Try simply running a little water on the toilet paper to moisten it.

I feel like the TP would just turn to mush and my fingers would break through the paper and come into contact with contaminated areas of my body.

I always figured I'd have one installed here, but was unimpressed with those in the European hotels where I've stayed.
I also noticed a couple of the places used either a swing-out arm, or a nozzle with a hose that's pulled out. I passed on using those because I figured the cleaning staff probably didn't do a great job cleaning those things. The idea of holding onto something that had been soiled in other people's feces sounded more like one of LWS's latent gay dreams than it did a practical application for personal hygiene.

http://nypost.com/2014/03/02/flushable-wipes-clogging-up-drains-citywide/

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:http://luxebidet.com/vi110.html

Best thing I've ever bought. Took 15 minutest to install.

Please tell me you didnt really buy that.

GirbaudJeans wrote:

Please tell me you didnt really buy that.

It is probably my favorite thing I own. $43, are you kidding me? I wish I could travel with it. In fact I just noticed they have some better models on the site when I went to link it today. Maybe I will upgrade.

Seriously, every single person reading this thread should buy one and thank me later.

I used a bidet twice in my life, and both were great. Once at The Mirage in Vegas and the other time in a mansion in Traverse City (after I ate McDonald's).

AMwood wrote:Baby wipes is where it's at.

I just blow my nose into the TP wad and use it for cleaning/lube   

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:

It is probably my favorite thing I own. $43, are you kidding me? I wish I could travel with it. In fact I just noticed they have some better models on the site when I went to link it today. Maybe I will upgrade.

Seriously, every single person reading this thread should buy one and thank me later.

Where is it installed ? Does this mean you dont go through a full roll at each movement ?

Back in Jr high on a trip to Canada there was a bidet in one of the guys rooms. We had no clue wtf it was so I started twisting knobs and some combination of the three caused it to erupt like old faithful to the ceiling... can't imagine that shooting at my ass

GirbaudJeans wrote:

Where is it installed ?  Does this mean you dont go through a full roll at each movement ?

In the basement bathroom, of course.

It's so easy. Unscrew the toilet seat, unscrew the water from the toilet. Screw the plastic water adapter into place between the line from the wall and the toilet line, put the unit on the rim of the toilet seat, but the seat back on, screw it in, done.

The water pressure is controlled by how far you turn the lever. It's a constant stream until you turn the lever back.

A stream of water on my bunghole would inevitably make me want to poop more which would defeat the purpose really.

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:

In the basement bathroom, of course.

It's so easy. Unscrew the toilet seat, unscrew the water from the toilet. Screw the plastic water adapter into place between the line from the wall and the toilet line, put the unit on the rim of the toilet seat, but the seat back on, screw it in, done.

The water pressure is controlled by how far you turn the lever. It's a constant stream until you turn the lever back.

I am not interested in having my hole power washed. I was just going to laugh if you had this installed in any other toilet than your basement bathroom.

GirbaudJeans wrote:

I am not interested in having my hole power washed.  I was just going to laugh if you had this installed in any other toilet than your basement bathroom.  

You should be. You are walking around with poop caked onto your but and underwear most likely.

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:

You should be. You are walking around with poop caked onto your but and underwear most likely.

I wipe clean 90% of the time.