The hell is this?

so, we put in the floor, got rid of the urine soaked carpet from our 16 year old hippie cat.  Anyway, they said "we'll move the furniture, you just worry about the gentle nick knack stuff and electronic stuff.  Well, it was about two or 3 hours doing the t.v. sound system securing it all that kind of stuff, and my wife took all the China out of the china cabinet.   When she was emptying out a drawer, way in the back, is this thing.  She asked me what it was.  I, being a complete idiot with tools and suck answered in the only way i Knew how, "how the fuck do i know?"  

So, please solve this mystery before I toss it.  

damned if I know

Bottle opener

Does it lock? Looks like it may be some sort of aid in carrying something. Or a weird nut cracker.

Nut cracker

I vote nutcracker.
Wags, give it to the wife and have her see if it works.

Just start going around the house trying to clamp things with it, I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually.

I.B. Fine wrote:I vote nutcracker.
Wags, give it to the wife and have her see if it works.

I voted nut cracker too.

Wife now is thinking it might have something to do with wine but says “it’s just a guess”.

Cameron wrote:Just start going around the house trying to clamp things with it, I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually.

It’s like I want to toss it but cant get the nerve to.

That is a Champagne bottle opener.

Example: https://www.barproducts.com/champagne-opener

Thanks!! Riddle solved.
And makes sense it was in the cabinet I guess.
Hey we should start a weekly “the hell is this”.

Pulling won. Next Wednesday he shows us something and we have to figure it out.

Gotta give your wife credit. She’s a quick thinker. Finding a champagne opener she got as a gift from her boyfriend that she hid years ago and acting that oblivious is a real talent.

kingstonlake wrote:Gotta give your wife credit. She’s a quick thinker. Finding a champagne opener she got as a gift from her boyfriend that she hid years ago and acting that oblivious is a real talent.

DWags wrote:

kingstonlake wrote:Gotta give your wife credit. She’s a quick thinker. Finding a champagne opener she got as a gift from her boyfriend that she hid years ago and acting that oblivious is a real talent.

Cock ring clamper... Duh

I’d put my tiny dick in it

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:I’d put my tiny dick in it

I already did, but it’s so small you can’t see it.