A Husband Sent His Wife A Spreadsheet Of Every Time She Said No To Sex

http://uproxx.com/webculture/2014/07/a-husband-sent-his-wife-a-spreadsheet-of-every-time-she-said-no-to-sex/

So "yes" was about every 10 days. What is that guy, greedy?

He needs to work on his spreadsheet formatting skills. And masturbate.

Good ole fashion digital foreplay

She sounds sweaty and gross

This is funny and sad at the same time

She sounds hideous.

Sounds like they don't have a DVR.

If I tried this my wife would beat my face into a jelly.

I didn't see "You're a dork who puts everything on Excel"

Where is: I already got some from a friend today?

Jake from State Farm wrote:She sounds hideous.

  

I like the excuse, "I'm still a bit tender from yesterday." 

Sounds like when the dude does get some, he's kind of freaky.  Can't blame the chick.

Loose Stools wrote:I like the excuse, "I'm still a bit tender from yesterday." 

Sounds like when the dude does get some, he's kind of freaky.  Can't blame the chick.

Can I interest you in buying a quarter share of the Brooklyn bridge for just $2,500,000?

Barstool's write up is better
guy who sent his wife a spreadsheet about his disappointment in their sex life deserves our love and compassion

Has the wife expressed an interest in having a regular piece of snatch on the side?

This is supposed to be from a wife who kept a diary of her husband's (lack of) sexual appetite.

My favorite...." I told him I was horny and wanted sex. He said the Tigers were in extra innings."   

WBill wrote:This is supposed to be from a wife who kept a diary of her husband's (lack of) sexual appetite.

My favorite...." I told him I was horny and wanted sex. He said the Tigers were in extra innings."    

I don't understand women who always ask at the most inopportune times. Really, you can't wait a couple minutes until the Tiger game is over?

The Lonely Stoner wrote: I don't understand women who always ask at the most inopportune times. Really, you can't wait a couple minutes until the Tiger game is over?

It's a passive/aggressive thing. They need reassurance that they're more important than the important things in your life like sports, beer, & your buddies.

FWIW...tMisers picked up a Magic Wand while in Key West for Memorial Day. We both highly recommend it. There really is no substitute.

Also...only 4 days on the rag for that chick? And wants it 6 out every 7 nights?? I call BS.

shitty wife

Heat Miser wrote:

It's a passive/aggressive thing. They need reassurance that they're more important than the important things in your life like sports, beer, & your buddies.

FWIW...tMisers picked up a Magic Wand while in Key West for Memorial Day. We both highly recommend it. There really is no substitute.

Also...only 4 days on the rag for that chick? And wants it 6 out every 7 nights?? I call BS.

It's not BS in my house. My girls wants it every single day - we're **40** - and she almost always gets it. God forbid though, I pass out during a game or something. She has a magic wand and even though she uses it, I get the stink eye if this ever happens in our house.