The greatest joke ever told.
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CaptainSlow33
kingstonlake
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kingstonlake- Geronte
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Re: The greatest joke ever told.
Still, one of my favorites.
The Pantry- Geronte
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tGreenWay, DWags, gomersbro and kingstonlake like this post
Re: The greatest joke ever told.
Norm Macdonald has entered the game.
tGreenWay- Geronte
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The Pantry, Motown Spartan, AvgMSUJoe, gomersbro, kingstonlake and Rick Saunders like this post
The Pantry- Geronte
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Re: The greatest joke ever told.
Last night I had a dream I was a muffler.
I woke up exhausted.
I woke up exhausted.
tGreenWay- Geronte
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Re: The greatest joke ever told.
Old joke that doesn't include mobile phone/crapper time. Needs to be rewritten.
"So you want the day off from work, eh?"
"Fair enough...let's take a look at what you're asking for.
There are 365 days per year available for work.
There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.
Since you spend 16 hours each day AWAY from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 90 days available.
You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee breaks. That takes care of 23 days, leaving 68 days available.
You take an hour's lunch EVERY day, which takes up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
You normally spend 2 days per year on Sick Leave. This leaves only 20 days available for work.
We are off for 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days.
We GENEROUSLY give you 14 days annual leave which leaves only 1 day available for work, and I'll tell you this mate, I'll be damned if you're going to take that day off!!! "
"So you want the day off from work, eh?"
"Fair enough...let's take a look at what you're asking for.
There are 365 days per year available for work.
There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.
Since you spend 16 hours each day AWAY from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 90 days available.
You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee breaks. That takes care of 23 days, leaving 68 days available.
You take an hour's lunch EVERY day, which takes up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
You normally spend 2 days per year on Sick Leave. This leaves only 20 days available for work.
We are off for 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days.
We GENEROUSLY give you 14 days annual leave which leaves only 1 day available for work, and I'll tell you this mate, I'll be damned if you're going to take that day off!!! "
The Pantry- Geronte
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Re: The greatest joke ever told.
According to Monty Python's Flying Circus, the world's deadliest/funniest joke is:
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
I kept the joke in the version translated to German for everyone's safety.
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
I kept the joke in the version translated to German for everyone's safety.
CaptainSlow33- Spartiate
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gomersbro likes this post
Re: The greatest joke ever told.
The Pantry wrote:Old joke that doesn't include mobile phone/crapper time. Needs to be rewritten.
"So you want the day off from work, eh?"
"Fair enough...let's take a look at what you're asking for.
There are 365 days per year available for work.
There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.
Since you spend 16 hours each day AWAY from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 90 days available.
You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee breaks. That takes care of 23 days, leaving 68 days available.
You take an hour's lunch EVERY day, which takes up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
You normally spend 2 days per year on Sick Leave. This leaves only 20 days available for work.
We are off for 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days.
We GENEROUSLY give you 14 days annual leave which leaves only 1 day available for work, and I'll tell you this mate, I'll be damned if you're going to take that day off!!! "
lol
The scary part is, I know someone whose primary view of running their business isn’t far off from that mentality. Needless to say, we aren’t in any business relationships with them anymore.
tGreenWay- Geronte
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Re: The greatest joke ever told.
Not sure some of these are meeting the criteria.
NigelUno- Geronte
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AvgMSUJoe likes this post
Re: The greatest joke ever told.
NigelUno wrote:Not sure some of these are meeting the criteria.
Mods should have locked the thread after the moth joke.
Zurn- Spartiate
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tGreenWay, DWags and AvgMSUJoe like this post
Re: The greatest joke ever told.
The 1st post didn't really fit the criteria.NigelUno wrote:Not sure some of these are meeting the criteria.
The Pantry- Geronte
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tGreenWay likes this post
Re: The greatest joke ever told.
The Pantry wrote:The 1st post didn't really fit the criteria.NigelUno wrote:Not sure some of these are meeting the criteria.
Considering Kingston was the OP, we knew what we were getting into before opening the thread. See also; Any Kingston music thread
tGreenWay- Geronte
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