You know that one neighbor?

The one you want to un-meet? I just met him. He's the new guy on the block.

I go out to the community mailbox to get my junk mail (only because there was supposed to be a Netflix delivery today), and there he is, the guy that never shuts the hell up and will carry on a one-sided conversation forever.

Within three minutes of meeting the guy, I'm hearing about some parakeet that landed by his pool at his old house. It wound up costing him $250 to buy a cage and have the vet check it out, because he called the police and asked if anyone reported a missing a parakeet. The police probably had a good laugh about that call. On the plus side, he and his wife (he claims she's perfect) had the parakeet for another seven years and his dog became best friends with the ****ing bird.

Three or four more tangents later I start getting grilled on whether or not I play pool, because he's going to put a pool table in his basement. It's been his garage for the last eight months. When I didn't bite on pool, he asks about euchre, pinochle and cribbage like he's going to arrange a neighborhood tournament.

More about the wife...at one point I see her open the garage door into the house to see what he's up to. When she sees that I've been mugged at the mailbox, you think she'd come rescue me? Not a ****ing chance. She quickly shuts the garage door, thinking I'd never notice her. Some perfect wife, what a bitch.

This guy, I swear to god, never met a tangent he didn't like.

/vent

tldr version: it's not a cool story, bro.

I know a poster like this.

"Community mailbox" ?  Is this some sort of swingers settlement ?

I don't know you call them, cluster boxes, maybe?

I haven't noticed any swingers in my 1.5 years in this hood. That's actually an unnerving thought, considering I'm about 20 years younger than most of my neighbors.

I don't have neighbors.

WBill wrote:"Community mailbox" ?  Is this some sort of swingers settlement ?

Pretty common in manufactured homes communities.

That reminds me this one time......

Jake from State Farm wrote:

Pretty common in manufactured homes communities.

But basements aren't so it must be high class.

Jake from State Farm wrote:

Pretty common in manufactured homes communities.

Yep. OP sounds poor.

Rent yerself a post office box, Mr. Robertson.
And a toodly doodly doo to you, neighbor!

LooseGoose wrote:
But basements aren't so it must be high class.

Basements we have, but nobody around her has a cement pond.

tGreenWay wrote:

Yep. OP sounds poor.

Even a broke dick can find a good buy in a down market.

Floyd Robertson wrote:I don't know you call them, cluster boxes, maybe?

I haven't noticed any swingers in my 1.5 years in this hood. That's actually an unnerving thought, considering I'm about 20 years younger than most of my neighbors.

That's old since I know how old you are

What's his name? I bet it's ted.

Floyd Robertson wrote:

Even a broke dick can find a good buy in a down market.

Who told you about my broke dick? I want names!

tGreenWay wrote:

Who told you about my broke dick? I want names!

It was probably ted

Ted.

WBill wrote:"Community mailbox" ?  Is this some sort of swingers settlement ?

Many subdivision developments are platted as condominium complexes where the plot of land is called a "site condo" and the house sits on it. You still own the entire plot of land and it's essentially the same as owning a house that isn't classified as a site condo, but there is a legal difference between them. Because the sub is technically a condominium complex, it has groups of mailboxes at various spots in the subdivision similar to an apartment complex must have. I guess it's because there are some legalities about mail delivery at condo complexes that either the postal service can't or won't deliver to mailboxes at each home, not sure which. My sub is platted as a condo complex and the developer (almost 20 years ago now) said that it was less paperwork and faster city approvals for condo complexes than for subdivisions with individual homes, so the vast majority of developments at that time in Michigan were being platted as condo complexes. Not sure how it's being done now.

Ass Dan wrote:

It was probably ted

That Ted is an asshole.

Code_Warrior wrote:
Many subdivision developments are platted as condominium complexes where the plot of land is called a "site condo" and the house sits on it. You still own the entire plot of land and it's essentially the same as owning a house that isn't classified as a site condo, but there is a legal difference between them. Because the sub is technically a condominium complex, it has groups of mailboxes at various spots in the subdivision similar to an apartment complex must have. I guess it's because there are some legalities about mail delivery at condo complexes that either the postal service can't or won't deliver to mailboxes at each home, not sure which. My sub is platted as a condo complex and the developer (almost 20 years ago now) said that it was less paperwork and faster city approvals for condo complexes than for subdivisions with individual homes, so the vast majority of developments at that time in Michigan were being platted as condo complexes. Not sure how it's being done now.

That is a..well..a complex explanation