Police may never know what cake looked like after soccer mom drop kicks it

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Thu Jun 16, 2016 6:30 pm

http://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/oakland/2016/06/16/drop-kicks-birthday-cake-kroger-police-batman-superman/86005014/

Employees, who could not have known what was to follow, told the woman she could not be behind the counter and had to step away. This only seemed to make her angrier. She carried the cake back around to the front of the counter, then “drop kick(ed)” it, the Kroger manager told police.

“The action caused pieces of cake and frosting to be strewn about the bakery section of the store,” the news release added dryly. The woman also reportedly “stepped on (the cake) several times” and shouted an expletive while yelling, ‘They … ruined my seven-year-old’s birthday cake!’”

She then left the store quickly, “kicking over a wet floor sign on her way out,” the release said.

When police later interviewed the woman, she acknowledged she was upset about the lackluster decoration, which “was not as she expected.” But she rejected the notion that she “drop kicked” the cake, and told police that “it accidentally slipped out of her hand.”

Investigators are still looking into the incident, and did not announce any arrests. Kroger says they do not have video surveillance of the incident. Police may never know what the birthday cake looked like.

by **tGreenWay** Thu Jun 16, 2016 6:33 pm

Police are recommending the woman be charged with batter-y

by **Rocinante** Thu Jun 16, 2016 6:37 pm

Kicking over the wet floor sign was just the... uhrm... this is awkward. I can't think of an idiom that goes there.

by **Travis of the Cosmos** Thu Jun 16, 2016 6:42 pm

I intentionally ran over a cupcake with my car last week.

Police may never know what cake looked like after soccer mom drop kicks it Image11

by **Floyd Robertson** Thu Jun 16, 2016 6:44 pm

So wrong on so many layers.

by **Rocinante** Thu Jun 16, 2016 6:44 pm

Good job Travis.

Police may never know what cake looked like after soccer mom drop kicks it Yx8J3u

by **Turtleneck** Thu Jun 16, 2016 6:50 pm

Wow. What an asshole. That woman sounds frosty.

by **tGreenWay** Thu Jun 16, 2016 8:58 pm

Sounds like this story has several layers to it.

by **Turtleneck** Thu Jun 16, 2016 8:59 pm

tGreenWay wrote:Sounds like this story has several layers to it.

Floyd will cut you if you do that again.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:17 pm

I'm less interested in y'alls terrible puns and really enthusiastic about that last line in the article. It's spectacular.

by **Travis of the Cosmos** Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:21 pm

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:I'm less interested in y'alls terrible puns and really enthusiastic about that last line in the article. It's spectacular.

I didn't make a pun. I just hit a cupcake with my car.

by **Turtleneck** Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:31 pm

Good job Travis

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:37 pm

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:I'm less interested in y'alls terrible puns and really enthusiastic about that last line in the article. It's spectacular.

I didn't make a pun. I just hit a cupcake with my car.

Thank you for that Travis. It was appropriate.

by **tGreenWay** Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:37 pm

Turtleneck wrote:
tGreenWay wrote:Sounds like this story has several layers to it.

Floyd will cut you if you do that again.

I'm considering adopting the Vlad attitude toward other poster's comments, in which they are ignored entirely.

by **tGreenWay** Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:39 pm

You're gonna have a bad time whenever you mix in stress with impatience and sprinkle it with a short temper.

by **Turtleneck** Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:45 pm

tGreenWay wrote:You're gonna have a bad time whenever you mix in stress with impatience and sprinkle it with a short temper.

You better watch it. You're on thin icing around here.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:46 pm

I'm deleting this thread. Fuck you guys.

by **Turtleneck** Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:49 pm

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:I'm deleting this thread. Fuck you guys.

Greenway is egging us on.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:52 pm

You should mix in a little subtlety Turtle.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:52 pm

Dammit.

by **Turtleneck** Thu Jun 16, 2016 9:58 pm

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Dammit.

Police may never know what cake looked like after soccer mom drop kicks it 502811600

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:You should mix in a little subtlety Turtle.

What a half baked idea.

by **Travis of the Cosmos** Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:00 pm

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:I'm deleting this thread. Fuck you guys.

Would you like me to run this thread over with my car?

by **Turtleneck** Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:01 pm

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:I'm deleting this thread. Fuck you guys.

Would you like me to run this thread over with my car?

No. This thread is a little slice of Heaven for me.

by **SeeRockCity** Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:13 pm

Chick sounds hot

by **The Pantry** Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:29 pm

The drop kick is a dead art.

Lions will sign her tomorrow.

by **Turtleneck** Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:34 pm

SeeRockCity wrote:Chick sounds hot

A real flour child.

by **tGreenWay** Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:47 pm

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:You should mix in a little subtlety Turtle.

Floyd will cut you.

by **tGreenWay** Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:48 pm

Turtleneck wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:I'm deleting this thread. Fuck you guys.

Greenway is egging us on.

Sorry my comments aren't vanilla enough for you.

by **DWags** Fri Jun 17, 2016 7:23 am

Doesn't that bitch know you can't have your cake and kick it too?

by **Turtleneck** Fri Jun 17, 2016 9:56 pm

Just wanted to whisk this thread back to life.

by **Floyd Robertson** Sun Jun 19, 2016 4:18 pm

Looks like her candle burns a little too quickly.

Bloomfield Hills mom at center of cake-kicking meltdown also faced assault charge in Troy

In 2015, in Troy, she was charged with assault and battery. She later pled to disorderly person and, two weeks ago, she was ordered to pay a $500 fine and attend anger management.

Online records show that Kortes was also charged with an assault in 2003 in King County, Washington. The same records indicate she was placed on probation for a year.

by **tGreenWay** Sun Jun 19, 2016 5:28 pm

Floyd Robertson wrote:Looks like her candle burns a little too quickly.

Bloomfield Hills mom at center of cake-kicking meltdown also faced assault charge in Troy

In 2015, in Troy, she was charged with assault and battery. She later pled to disorderly person and, two weeks ago, she was ordered to pay a $500 fine and attend anger management.

Online records show that Kortes was also charged with an assault in 2003 in King County, Washington. The same records indicate she was placed on probation for a year.

Sounds like rough play makes her moist.

by **tGreenWay** Sun Jun 19, 2016 5:28 pm

She kneads therapy.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Sun Jun 19, 2016 5:31 pm

Fix your link Floyd. I think it's bad

by **Turtleneck** Sun Jun 19, 2016 5:38 pm

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Fix your link Floyd. I think it's bad

I love his link. Very relaxing.

by **Floyd Robertson** Sun Jun 19, 2016 5:40 pm

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Fix your link Floyd. I think it's bad

Fixed. That other link was Turtleneck's house.

by **The Pantry** Sun Jun 19, 2016 5:52 pm

"Tumultuous Conduct"

Bet she's a biter

by **Turtleneck** Sun Jun 19, 2016 5:54 pm

The Pantry wrote:"Tumultuous Conduct"

Bet she's a biter

I bet a piece of her is like a piece of the devil's food.

by **Turtleneck** Sun Jun 19, 2016 5:57 pm

Floyd Robertson wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Fix your link Floyd. I think it's bad

Fixed. That other link was Turtleneck's house.

Any idea if Mary is single? She is very reflective, seems understanding, and is good looking. Might not want to live at my house though.

by Guest Wed Aug 10, 2016 11:05 am

Cake-kicking Kroger customer pleads no contest to disorderly conduct

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