What's your favorite unscented lubricant to use on metal beads?

The metal hooks that hold up the shower curtains have metal beads to cut down on resistance when drawing the curtains open and closed. Problem is, those beads are getting irritatingly squeaky. Usuallly, I would reach for the 3-n-1 oil to shut that puppy up, but that stuff has a smell that Mrs. GreenWay will find unacceptable. WD-40 isn't much better. I'm thinking of rubbing a wax brick up and down the long, curving, metal pole, really push it down hard to keep that pole and those beads moving without any resistance.

What say you?

I can't emphasize enough how loud the shrieking is when those beads come into contact with the rod.

This might be the wax you're describing.

Also, I'd like to keep this on the DL from my wife. I'd like her to take her next shower without realizing what went on in there. Everything should just appear normal.

Floyd Robertson wrote:This might be the wax you're describing.

I have that T-shirt somewhere. Maybe I can trade it for servicing my shower rod.

It doesn't look like you shower, GreenWay.

What kind of lubricant did Alan Ruck use? I'd avoid that one.

Turtleneck wrote:

It doesn't look like you shower, GreenWay.

It doesn't matter whether or not I shower, Turtleneck. What matters is that shrieking sound makes me want to shove spikes into my ears.

Floyd Robertson wrote:What kind of lubricant did Alan Ruck use? I'd avoid that one.

Too soon.

tGreenWay wrote:

Turtleneck wrote:

It doesn't look like you shower, GreenWay.

It doesn't matter whether or not I shower, Turtleneck. What matters is that shrieking sound makes me want to shove spikes into my ears.

The spikes sound easier. You should ask for recs on what types of spikes are best.

tGreenWay wrote:Also, I'd like to keep this on the DL from my wife. I'd like her to take her next shower without realizing what went on in there. Everything should just appear normal.

Passion Lubes, Natural Water-Based Lubricant, 55 Gallon Drum

Hope she doesn't notice this in the corner:

Try some light machine oil.

Are you talking about anal beads

I texted Mrs. GreenWay a link to the thread.

steveschneider wrote:Try some light machine oil.

I do have Zoom Spout, but again--Mrs. GW will hate the smell. Minus well let the beads shriek.

LooseGoose wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:Also, I'd like to keep this on the DL from my wife. I'd like her to take her next shower without realizing what went on in there. Everything should just appear normal.

Passion Lubes, Natural Water-Based Lubricant, 55 Gallon Drum

Hope she doesn't notice this in the corner:

Is your noodle all wet? That's a water-based lube and this fix is for the shower. 'preciate the good intentions, but come on, Goose; duh.

Turtleneck wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:

It doesn't matter whether or not I shower, Turtleneck. What matters is that shrieking sound makes me want to shove spikes into my ears.

The spikes sound easier. You should ask for recs on what types of spikes are best.

It might just come to that.

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:Are you talking about anal beads

Only if your mind was in the gutter would you have read it that way.

tGreenWay wrote:

LooseGoose wrote:

Passion Lubes, Natural Water-Based Lubricant, 55 Gallon Drum

Hope she doesn't notice this in the corner:

Is your noodle all wet? That's a water-based lube and this fix is for the shower. 'preciate the good intentions, but come on, Goose; duh.

That's why you need 55 gallons of it, you get to rub the lube into those beads every time.

LooseGoose wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:

Is your noodle all wet? That's a water-based lube and this fix is for the shower. 'preciate the good intentions, but come on, Goose; duh.

That's why you need 55 gallons of it, you get to rub the lube into those beads every time.

Hey, that's pretty great! Next time, maybe don't bury the lead. Sorry to go nuclear on you. I really don't think you have a wet noodle.

tGreenWay wrote:

LooseGoose wrote:

That's why you need 55 gallons of it, you get to rub the lube into those beads every time.

Hey, that's pretty great! Next time, maybe don't bury the lead. Sorry to go nuclear on you. I really don't think you have a wet noodle.

It's "bury the lede" dumb ass.

Buy new shower hooks.

Da Mayor wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:

Hey, that's pretty great! Next time, maybe don't bury the lead. Sorry to go nuclear on you. I really don't think you have a wet noodle.

It's "bury the lede" dumb ass.

Thanks, asshat. Oh, and go fuck yourself.

MSU addict wrote:Buy new shower hooks.

Outstanding suggestion. Might just do this.

How about using white lithium grease.

keanro wrote:How about using white lithium grease.

Isn't that the stuff for bike chains? Funny you mention it, because I briefly thought of that this morning. I've never used it before, but some friends who are cycling fiends think it's really good stuff. Any idea if it smells? I'm serious when I say my wife will hate it if it has an unnatural/chemical-type smell.

tGreenWay wrote: I'm serious when I say my wife will hate it if it has an unnatural/chemical-type smell.

Yet somehow you're still there.

tGreenWay wrote:

Da Mayor wrote:

It's "bury the lede" dumb ass.

Thanks, asshat. Oh, and go fuck yourself.

I'm sorry you're not very smart.

Da Mayor wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:

Thanks, asshat. Oh, and go fuck yourself.

I'm sorry you're not very smart.

I don't think you are.

LooseGoose wrote:

tGreenWay wrote: I'm serious when I say my wife will hate it if it has an unnatural/chemical-type smell.

Yet somehow you're still there.

My cologne helps immensely. It's called Chocolate by Wonka.

Would WD-40 work?

WD-40 gives him a rash, Dendro.

Pics of bearings on shower curtain to assess the situation better, please.

I would go with a “non-chloric, silicon-based kitchen lubricant.”

- Clark Griswald

tGreenWay wrote:

Da Mayor wrote:

I'm sorry you're not very smart.

I don't think you are.

You seem kind of mad, bro.

Da Mayor wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:

I don't think you are.

You seem kind of mad, bro.

If you're going for lamest schtick ever, you're nailing it.

Dendrobates wrote:Would WD-40 work?

This. Fuck your wife's nose.

Not literally.

Unless she's into that kind of thing

In which case... can I have her number?

Ok, than my vote is to just get new ones .

No biggie.

Rocinante wrote:

Dendrobates wrote:Would WD-40 work?

This. Fuck your wife's nose.

Not literally.

Unless she's into that kind of thing

In which case... can I have her number?

How tiny is your penis? The reason I ask is that nostrils have a very small diameter compared to your typical penis.

shower curtains

https://lifehacker.com/5891950/make-hangers-and-shower-curtains-glide-with-wax-paper