My car got shot in a drive by paint ball attack

Seriously. Driving on I-95 this afternoon, and as I'm exiting, I hear this THUMP like something hitting the car. I notice some spattered yellow paint on the driver side window. I look left toward the highway and this little black hatchback is speeding away with the passenger looking at me and laughing.

I couldn't get a plate or even a make of the car, so no use calling the Po Po. I guess smart of them to shoot at a car that is on the exit and can't follow them to get a plate. I pulled into a gas station to clean it and check it out. Big yellow splotch just under the driver door handle and another hit on the back of the car. Luckily it washed off easy and no dents.

What the actual fuck? Apparently, this is a thing now, at least down here. There have been reports on the news of people doing this in neighborhoods a couple of times. Guys that want to act like some fucking thug gangsters, but are really just wannabe pussies.

I’m glad they weren’t actual gangsters who shot you with a real gun tbh Miami.

Not that gangsters are really that much of a threat to randomly shoot you for no reason. In fact they aren’t at all. Sorry, carry on Miami. I’m glad your car is fine.

Paintball is a millennial thing. We used eggs back in high school.

Sounds fun. I'm going to buy a paintball gun when I get drunk enough to buy my electric scooter this weekend.

The Pantry wrote:Paintball is a millennial thing. We used eggs back in high school.

Eggs filled with paint. Only did it one time. Felt terrible after bombing a car.

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:I’m glad they weren’t actual gangsters who shot you with a real gun tbh Miami.

Not that gangsters are really that much of a threat to randomly shoot you for no reason. In fact they aren’t at all. Sorry, carry on Miami. I’m glad your car is fine.

You don’t know it wasn’t gangsters, Travis. Maybe they roll a kinder, gentler G in South Florida.

Didn't you see the story a week or two ago of kids at a school getting shot by paint guns?
I'm glad I don't drive near i95 though

tGreenWay wrote:

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:I’m glad they weren’t actual gangsters who shot you with a real gun tbh Miami.

Not that gangsters are really that much of a threat to randomly shoot you for no reason. In fact they aren’t at all. Sorry, carry on Miami. I’m glad your car is fine.

You don’t know it wasn’t gangsters, Travis. Maybe they roll a kinder, gentler G in South Florida.

No. There are definitely parts of Miami you don't want to go to. Miami and I live less than 3 miles from one of those places.

MiamiSpartan wrote:Seriously. Driving on I-95 this afternoon, and as I'm exiting, I hear this THUMP like something hitting the car. I notice some spattered yellow paint on the driver side window. I look left toward the highway and this little black hatchback is speeding away with the passenger looking at me and laughing.

I couldn't get a plate or even a make of the car, so no use calling the Po Po. I guess smart of them to shoot at a car that is on the exit and can't follow them to get a plate. I pulled into a gas station to clean it and check it out. Big yellow splotch just under the driver door handle and another hit on the back of the car. Luckily it washed off easy and no dents.

What the actual fuck? Apparently, this is a thing now, at least down here. There have been reports on the news of people doing this in neighborhoods a couple of times. Guys that want to act like some fucking thug gangsters, but are really just wannabe pussies.

About 8 years ago or so I went into a Bodega on Halloween and there was a lady in there crying. I guess a car drove by and shot her and her friends with paintballs.

InTenSity wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:

You don’t know it wasn’t gangsters, Travis. Maybe they roll a kinder, gentler G in South Florida.

No. There are definitely parts of Miami you don't want to go to. Miami and I live less than 3 miles from one of those places.

Maybe I’m just a bigger badass than you, InTenSity. Ever think about that? Of course not.
When you’re OG like me, the world looks like weak-kneed cub scouts.

InTenSity wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:

You don’t know it wasn’t gangsters, Travis. Maybe they roll a kinder, gentler G in South Florida.

No. There are definitely parts of Miami you don't want to go to. Miami and I live less than 3 miles from one of those places.

Lol eat shit greenway

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:

InTenSity wrote:
No. There are definitely parts of Miami you don't want to go to. Miami and I live less than 3 miles from one of those places.

Lol eat shit greenway

I’m not falling for that username trick, Travis. Also, please fuck off.

InTenSity wrote:Didn't you see the story a week or two ago of kids at a school getting shot by paint guns?
I'm glad I don't drive near i95 though

Yeah, that story is the only reason it even occurred to me right away that it was a paintball gun. I would have never thought that drive bys with a paintball gun is a thing.

Hop back on the highway.

Chase them down.

NigelUno wrote:Hop back on the highway.

Chase them down.

Oh yeah, I forgot that part. After cleaning my car at the gas station, I got back on the highway and caught up with them (my Ferrari gets up to 200 mph pretty quick, so it didn't take long), then followed them until they stopped. I got out of the car to yell at them, but then I noticed that one of them had a Tigers hat, so I asked him about it. He's not from Detroit, but he has the hat because his name starts with D. But we actually got talking and they were pretty cool. We split a 6 pack and smoked a bowl together in this parking lot, but then the cops showed up and we had to split up and run.

Is that better?

MiamiSpartan wrote:

NigelUno wrote:Hop back on the highway.

Chase them down.

Oh yeah, I forgot that part. After cleaning my car at the gas station, I got back on the highway and caught up with them (my Ferrari gets up to 200 mph pretty quick, so it didn't take long), then followed them until they stopped. I got out of the car to yell at them, but then I noticed that one of them had a Tigers hat, so I asked him about it. He's not from Detroit, but he has the hat because his name starts with D. But we actually got talking and they were pretty cool. We split a 6 pack and smoked a bowl together in this parking lot, but then the cops showed up and we had to split up and run.

Is that better?

That story is believable, except the part about being able to go faster than 25 on I95 at almost any point during the day.

I have a brutal story about egging cars that I'll post later after work. OTPT may have heard it

MiamiSpartan wrote:

NigelUno wrote:Hop back on the highway.

Chase them down.

Oh yeah, I forgot that part. After cleaning my car at the gas station, I got back on the highway and caught up with them (my Ferrari gets up to 200 mph pretty quick, so it didn't take long), then followed them until they stopped. I got out of the car to yell at them, but then I noticed that one of them had a Tigers hat, so I asked him about it. He's not from Detroit, but he has the hat because his name starts with D. But we actually got talking and they were pretty cool. We split a 6 pack and smoked a bowl together in this parking lot, but then the cops showed up and we had to split up and run.

Is that better?

What kind of beer?

Tim Wakefield wrote:I have a brutal story about egging cars that I'll post later after work. OTPT may have heard it

I should probably post my story about tossing water balloons after you post that.

I should probably post the story about my swingers experience after you post that.

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:I should probably post the story about my swingers experience after you post that.

I think you should jump straight to the head of the line and post it now

Tim Wakefield wrote:I have a brutal story about egging cars that I'll post later after work. OTPT may have heard it

Have 3 car egging stories.  Was the egger in two of them and the eggee in the 3rd.  Worst to best:

Eggee:  Had a brand new '84 Z-28 and was headed to my girlfriend's (later, the wyff) apartment in the dark on a two-lane.  Got hit right in the windshield by an egg tossed from a car going the opposite direction.  Couldn't see shit and was lucky to feel my way onto the shoulder of the road to finally stop and clean the shit off.

Egger #2:  We were bored just before Halloween so bought a couple dozen eggs and went cruising in my friend's Pinto.  Drove around a couple neighborhood's and pegged some cars of people we knew.  Had one egg left so chucked it at a car passing us on the right as we were turning left into a sub.  Drove around the sub for a while and decided to go home.  Got back on a main road.  Suddenly a car was right on our ass honking his horn and flashing his brights.  No idea how the dude found us but he was pissed.  Chased us into another sub we knew.  Would have probably rammed us except his car was much nicer than the Pinto.  Got back out on the main road and he forced us off the road on the far shoulder.  Jumped out of his car running and looked ready to kill both of us   in the headlights.  My friend threw the Pinto in reverse and did a perfect Rockford Files maneuver spinning the car in the opposite direction and taking off.  Were sorta shitting our pants and laughing our asses off at the same time.    Think we drove around for an hour after that to make sure the guy wasn't following us again.

Egger #1:  Early fall junior year of HS.  There were some seniors that gave us shit and we liked to fuck with back and forth.  Forget the model but one dude had a really nice Chrysler convertible 2-door.  Couple shades darker than Hawaiian blue...metallic.  White interior.  Beautiful car.

7-8 of us in my friend's parents mid-70's Impala station wagon one late afternoon and we spotted them while cruising the hood.  Their car was overloaded...four guys, three chicks...top down.  Stopped and picked up some eggs.  

Carefully hunted them down and came up silently from behind as they were making a right turn.  Slow speed and very close range unleashed all hell on them with everyone hanging out the windows to pitch and reloading for second hits.  Eggs that didn't hit passengers in the back of the head splattered in the vehicle interior or splattered  off the trunk lid spraying everyone inside.  We continued driving straight, laughing our asses off.  Honestly, one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

I was freshly 16 so I was in the phase where I wanted to drive every time my friends and I did something because I thought it was cool.  My dickbag "friend" (at the time we were friends .. he turned out to be one of those fucks who peaks in HS and gets fat, enrolled in community college for 6 years, etc.) suggested we go egg some houses. Sounded good to me.  I picked him up and a couple other buddies and we start cruising around.  

I was turning right on a red light and my friend leaned out the passenger window and chucked an egg across the intersection at a passing car.  I took off down the road (heading up 4 mile towards Alpine for west GR people) and see the guy whip around a start coming after us.  I was shitting my pants but figured if I got to a busy road I could get lost in the shuffle. I had no chance in the backroads bc my car was slow as shit.  I get up to Alpine/M37 and the guy pulls up next to me, so I took a hard right into a Starbucks. Knocked a small street sign clear off its base and it flew 30+ feet.  Luckily my car wasn't damaged so I quick turned left out of there and sped away.  Rattled, but I thought we were in the clear.  We drove around a little bit to calm down a bit.

Couple minutes later, my mom called me.  I ignored it and she called me again.  How the fuck did she know ??  I answered the 3rd time and she asked me why THE FUCK there was a cop at my house with the head varsity football coach.  Turns out that's exactly whose car we plunked.  He checked the school's database for registered cars, but I only had my license for like 2 weeks at the time and I hadn't registered my plate with the school yet.  So instead of handling it himself, he called his cop buddy.  

So we head back to my house, tails between our legs, shitting our pants.  I got home to see a cop car in the driveway and walked into my house where the cop, my football coach, and parents were sitting in the living room. What fucking shit luck.  Luckily he didn't make it a legal issue, but we had to stay after school every day for a long time and do bitch work/gassers.

Tim Wakefield wrote:I was freshly 16 so I was in the phase where I wanted to drive every time my friends and I did something because I thought it was cool.  My dickbag "friend" (at the time we were friends .. he turned out to be one of those fucks who peaks in HS and gets fat, enrolled in community college for 6 years, etc.) suggested we go egg some houses. Sounded good to me.  I picked him up and a couple other buddies and we start cruising around.  

I was turning right on a red light and my friend leaned out the passenger window and chucked an egg across the intersection at a passing car.  I took off down the road (heading up 4 mile towards Alpine for west GR people) and see the guy whip around a start coming after us.  I was shitting my pants but figured if I got to a busy road I could get lost in the shuffle. I had no chance in the backroads bc my car was slow as shit.  I get up to Alpine/M37 and the guy pulls up next to me, so I took a hard right into a Starbucks. Knocked a small street sign clear off its base and it flew 30+ feet.  Luckily my car wasn't damaged so I quick turned left out of there and sped away.  Rattled, but I thought we were in the clear.  We drove around a little bit to calm down a bit.

Couple minutes later, my mom called me.  I ignored it and she called me again.  How the fuck did she know ??  I answered the 3rd time and she asked me why THE FUCK there was a cop at my house with the head varsity football coach.  Turns out that's exactly whose car we plunked.  He checked the school's database for registered cars, but I only had my license for like 2 weeks at the time and I hadn't registered my plate with the school yet.  So instead of handling it himself, he called his cop buddy.  

So we head back to my house, tails between our legs, shitting our pants.  I got home to see a cop car in the driveway and walked into my house where the cop, my football coach, and parents were sitting in the living room. What fucking shit luck.  Luckily he didn't make it a legal issue, but we had to stay after school every day for a long time and do bitch work/gassers.

That is hilarious!

That is pretty awesome Wake.