What the hell are you doing this weekend?!?!?!

I'm going to get my wife stoned tonight, feed her pizza, and then put my bonar in her for several seconds.

Tomorrow, I'm going to ingest alcoholic beverages and creepily stare at 18 year old chicks at a grad party and wish that I were back in the summer after my graduation, putting my bonar in 18 year old chicks for several seconds.

At some point, I might see my neighbor outside and tell him to go **** himself. If he has a pool party, I will probably mow my lawn and weed whack.

After that, the weekend is pretty open.

Jesus ****! You guys can suck a nice fucking dick! Spenwick five fucking minutes and always fucking answer my fucking question!

And Siri is a slut with obvious hearing loss! Spenwick? What the hell is that? Slut whore!

I'm going to get my hair cut. Screw you guys!

Some friends you are!

Hopefully catching many of these (but bigger... he's kind of a twerp)

I would definitely skip creeping on young girls for that.

Big Ten Referee wrote:Screw you guys! I'm going home!

FIFY, fatass.

Nordic wrote:Hopefully catching many of these (but bigger... he's kind of a twerp)

Take me,Take me.

Oh wait. Forgot about that darn family of mine.   

Tomorrow Seymour Lake festival for corn dogs and carnie rides followed by niece's graduation party. Sunday swim lessons.

If I can get over my hangover I will probably mix a drink soon.I'd sit outside and enjoy it but I'm a degenerate with a 5 team MLB parlay and I can't watch 4 baseball games on the patio unless I want to do that stupid multigame channel.

Are you going to hang out with the uncle that has the Obamaphone?

tGreenWay wrote:

FIFY, fatass.

**** you, Kyle!

Turtleneck wrote:Are you going to hang out with the uncle that has the Obamaphone?

Haha, yeah. I actually will see him this weekend.

Drinking tonight, going into the office tomorrow then mowing the lawn then drinking again tomorrow night. Pretty crappy weekend actually. Next weekend we're going camping in Ludington though, so there's that I guess.

y2kMgrad wrote:Drinking tonight, going into the office tomorrow then mowing the lawn then drinking again tomorrow night. Pretty crappy weekend actually. Next weekend we're going camping in Ludington though, so there's that I guess.

If you have sex with your wife while camping, I bet it will be in tents.

Turtleneck wrote:

If you have sex with your wife while camping, I bet it will be in tents.

If she gets too hot I'll have to cooler down.

y2kMgrad wrote:

If she gets too hot I'll have to cooler down.

When she gets snarky about setting up tents, look at her and ask, "canoe do this?"

y2kMgrad wrote:

If she gets too hot I'll have to cooler down.

What does your wife and my truck have in common?

Turtleneck wrote:

When she gets snarky about setting up tents, look at her and ask, "canoe do this?"

Once I get done banging her I'll have to ask for S'more.

y2kMgrad wrote:

Once I get done banging her I'll have to ask for S'more.

You and I both know that will not be a shore thing.

I get to pack, pack and pack some more. Work Monday morning, close on my new house Monday afternoon, then off until the 7th!

Turtleneck wrote:

You and I both know that will not be a shore thing.

True. I hope the fire doesn't die before I get to cook my hotdog.

MJ wrote:I get to pack, pack and pack some more.  Work Monday morning, close on my new house Monday afternoon, then off until the 7th!

Nice. Congrats on the vacation and the new casa.

Sadly, I'm on antibiotics. So I'll be confined to watching the World Cup games from the warmth and comfort of my bed all weekend. Huzzah!

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:

Nice. Congrats on the vacation and the new casa.

Thanks!   

I am doing some final yard work on my flip house. Will stab a for sale sign in the front yard and then come home and go swimming in my pond. Then I have a hankering for ingesting some type of roast beast.

Tomorrow, I have no idea what in the hell I am going to do.

I work tonight and tomorrow so my weekend is going to be monday/tuesday, which I'm going to head downtown to the DCFC watch party at Campus Martimus.

This one is lil' better

Big Ten Referee wrote:
Tomorrow, I'm going to ingest alcoholic beverages and creepily stare at 18 year old chicks at a grad party and wish that I were back in the summer after my graduation, putting my bonar in 18 year old chicks for several seconds.

Or, you could just think about how nice it would be to bone them now at your current age.

Nordic wrote:This one is lil' better

Holy shit! Nice Smallie! Did you get a weight on that one?

I put Nu Finish on my windows. Mowed the yard. Took the 1 year old to Menards. Built some extra storage in the garage. Filled up a kiddie pool and wore the kids out. Picked up pizza for dinner. Now I'm working on a bump when drunk post.

Went golfing at St. Joe Valley Golf Course on Friday. Helped my Dad at his lakehouse with some stuff today. Planning on seeing "Trans4mers" and playing volleyball on Sunday.