so, i dumped giggle tits....

...last night. we got on the discussion of burial. alcohol was involved again. it's not true. alcohol does not give you infinite patience for stupidity.

i'm like, "i don't want to be buried. just cook my body up and throw it away. what good is it taking space in the dirt while supposedly your soul goes to heaven, right? it's meat and bones in an expensive box."

and she's like, "your body is a gift from god. you have to treat it with respect. it would be an insult to him not to bury it properly."

and i'm all, "really? god is insulted if you don't do what he wants with a gift he GAVE you? just how insecure is this guy?"

and she's all, "don't talk that way to me! That's insulting!"

me, "boy, you and god need to take a chill pill. you guys get insulted so easily."

i thought i could do it, guys. i thought i'd be able to ride out the storm of slow-wittedness and just put up with it for the secks. turns out i'm a little older now, and the allure of sex with miss plastic melons just isn't as strong as the repulsion of having stupidity rained down upon me every time she opened up her blow job giver.

i've had plenty of stupid girlfriends, but this one was staunch about subjects she knew nothing about. and i'm not just talking about religion. she had strong opinions on everything. indifference would have been acceptable. But steadfast dedication to your ignorant opinions based on nothing but feelings is a little more than even i can stomach. i'm patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it.

the crazy bitch whisperer may have met the horse he couldn't break. oh, and she wouldn't let me stick my dong in her butt.

So you can post pics of her now?

The first rule of bitch whispering is you never admit failure. Just say she used too much teeth and leave it at that.

I don't know why, but in HS I got the pretty one with big natural breasts who came from the UP. All body and heart and brains. Dated for 3 years, married for 34.

I was wise at 17.

weak.


what's her number?

So you think its over do you?

bwahahahaha

tits or it didn't happen.

So she has fake tits and was all high and mighty about your body being a gift from god? That's a stupid bitch.

you should get a kayak now.

Motown Spartan wrote:So she has fake tits and was all high and mighty about your body being a gift from god?  That's a stupid bitch.

that's a good point motown. she was a walking inconsistency. like she would sleep over at my place as many times as i'd let her, but we couldn't sleep at her place because of the message it would send to her adult daughter.  

just like her religious beliefs. it was all about the appearances and zero about morality, ethics or general goodiness to mankind. she looks down on those less fortunate than her. it's actually kind of sad. i'm gonna pray for her.

goodbar wrote:you should get a kayak now.

this brought the lulz.

because of the message it would send to her adult daughter

Well...Just invite the daughter over to your place now.

InTenSity wrote:
Well...Just invite the daughter over to your place now.

believe it or not, she's better looking than her 21 year old daughter. but i bet her daughter would let me stick it in her butt.  

Excellent technique by AM Wood. Take notes boys.

Maybe one of those robot girlfriends are in order, that way you don't have to talk to them? I'm not sure if they have model with a butt option yet though.

Nordic wrote:Maybe one of those robot girlfriends are in order, that way you don't have to talk to them?  I'm not sure if they have model with a butt option yet though.

i can paint my fleshlight brown.

AMwood wrote:

i can paint my fleshlight brown.

Oh you can already get an attachment that feels just like a real-life cornshooter!....I mean pretty sure you can....if not, they should definitely make one or something. I dunno, check around and see what you find...

He can borrow mine

Brock Middlebrook wrote:He can borrow mine

i appreciate the offer, but i don't mess around with other people's wives.

goodbar wrote:

Oh you can already get an attachment that feels just like a real-life cornshooter!....I mean pretty sure you can....if not, they should definitely make one or something. I dunno, check around and see what you find...

they make them. i've been checking out different models for years. i just haven't pulled the trigger because i don't want to make a mistake that i'll have to live with for the rest of my life.

AMwood wrote:

that's a good point motown. she was a walking inconsistency. like she would sleep over at my place as many times as i'd let her, but we couldn't sleep at her place because of the message it would send to her adult daughter.  

just like her religious beliefs. it was all about the appearances and zero about morality, ethics or general goodiness to mankind. she looks down on those less fortunate than her. it's actually kind of sad. i'm gonna pray for her.

How can you pray for her when you insult god by wanting to be cremated you walking contradiction....  

Tell her you are descended from Vikings and worship a Norse God. That's how I usually end that discussion.

Floyd Robertson wrote:Tell her you are descended from Vikings and worship a Norse God. That's how I usually end that discussion.

honestly, she wouldn't even understand those words. she would just look at me with her head turned like a dog that hears a dog whistle.

Floyd Robertson wrote:Tell her you are descended from Vikings and worship a Norse God. That's how I usually end that discussion.

Me too, and if they ask which Norse god, I just jump on IKEA's website and rip off whatever furniture name I see first. Here, watch I'll do it right now. I worship..... VITTSJÖ (which is really some kind of media center lookin' dealie, but whatever).

AMwood wrote:

honestly, she wouldn't even understand those words. she would just look at me with her head turned like a dog that hears a dog whistle.

  

Well, I googled "giggle tits." That is all.

AMwood wrote:

honestly, she wouldn't even understand those words. she would just look at me with her head turned like a dog that hears a dog whistle.

Staunch "christian" types have that look down. Like certain words just can't penetrate.

And Yeah, if the "body is a temple" like you say... fake tits are an abomination (let alone the pride and ego it takes to get them)....& even thinking about a twinkie should be the equivalent of stealing from the alms basket.

Logic is not strong in that type.

AMwood wrote:

they make them. i've been checking out different models for years. i just haven't pulled the trigger because i don't want to make a mistake that i'll have to live with for the rest of my life.

Do you have to get some kinda poo lube for those are do you just go dry? Not an anal expert...

Nordic wrote:

Do you have to get some kinda poo lube for those are do you just go dry?  Not an anal expert...

yeah, but it's not made out of poo. if you want it to be realistic though, you can smear a little poo in there.

So has she called you today yet and said she'd like to talk?

SeeRockCity wrote:So has she called you today yet and said she'd like to talk?

yes. she's texted. here's a little highlight:

her "blah blah blah my stupid feelings blah"

me "would you be insulted if i asked you if god was a jealous god?"

her "what do you care? you don't care about what insults me"

me "because THE BIBLE says he's a jealous god and that's why he doesn't want you worshiping false gods and deities"

got dayum she irks me.

AMwood wrote:

SeeRockCity wrote:So has she called you today yet and said she'd like to talk?

yes. she's texted. here's a little highlight:

her "blah blah blah my stupid feelings blah"

me "would you be insulted if i asked you if god was a jealous god?"

her "what do you care? you don't care about what insults me"

me "because THE BIBLE says he's a jealous god and that's why he doesn't want you worshiping false gods and deities"

got dayum she irks me.

The make up sex is gonna be stellar.

Mentalstate wrote:Well, I googled "giggle tits." That is all.

Really? Interesting. Be right back.

SeeRockCity wrote:

The make up sex is gonna be stellar.

I'm thinking she gives in to the anal that he's so desired... well played   

AMwood wrote:...last night. we got on the discussion of burial. alcohol was involved again. it's not true. alcohol does not give you infinite patience for stupidity.

i'm like, "i don't want to be buried. just cook my body up and throw it away. what good is it taking space in the dirt while supposedly your soul goes to heaven, right? it's meat and bones in an expensive box."

and she's like, "your body is a gift from god. you have to treat it with respect. it would be an insult to him not to bury it properly."

and i'm all, "really? god is insulted if you don't do what he wants with a gift he GAVE you? just how insecure is this guy?"

and she's all, "don't talk that way to me! That's insulting!"

me, "boy, you and god need to take a chill pill. you guys get insulted so easily."

i thought i could do it, guys. i thought i'd be able to ride out the storm of slow-wittedness and just put up with it for the secks. turns out i'm a little older now, and the allure of sex with miss plastic melons just isn't as strong as the repulsion of having stupidity rained down upon me every time she opened up her blow job giver.

i've had plenty of stupid girlfriends, but this one was staunch about subjects she knew nothing about. and i'm not just talking about religion. she had strong opinions on everything. indifference would have been acceptable. But steadfast dedication to your ignorant opinions based on nothing but feelings is a little more than even i can stomach. i'm patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it.

the crazy bitch whisperer may have met the horse he couldn't break. oh, and she wouldn't let me stick my dong in her butt.

Look. You are old enough to know all women are crazy and committed to finding someone who will best with them. They are all about nesting. They buy tits like giggles to attract suitors who will nest with them. Knowing this you take advantage of this knowledge by going along with the charade for sex. They will give you great sex as a means of trapping you into marriage. So you put up with their neurosis and pretend to care and listen with the one goal firmly kept at the forefront and that's sex or bjers. If I were single again I'd keep three in a rotation and make all three think they have a chance to land me. My lions would be empty most of the time

Tanfan! wrote:

Look. You are old enough to know all women are crazy and committed to finding someone who will best with them. They are all about nesting. They buy tits like giggles to attract suitors who will nest with them. Knowing this you take advantage of this knowledge by going along with the charade for sex. They will give you great sex as a means of trapping you into marriage. So you put up with their neurosis and pretend to care and listen with the one goal firmly kept at the forefront and that's sex or bjers. If I were single again I'd keep three in a rotation and make all three think they have a chance to land me. My lions would be empty most of the time

finally somebody gets it.

Tanfan! wrote:

Look. You are old enough to know all women are crazy and committed to finding someone who will best with them. They are all about nesting. They buy tits like giggles to attract suitors who will nest with them. Knowing this you take advantage of this knowledge by going along with the charade for sex. They will give you great sex as a means of trapping you into marriage. So you put up with their neurosis and pretend to care and listen with the one goal firmly kept at the forefront and that's sex or bjers. If I were single again I'd keep three in a rotation and make all three think they have a chance to land me. My lions would be empty most of the time

My lions have been empty since before I was born. F uck you, Ford family!

AMwood wrote:

finally somebody gets it.

I was taught this and didn't listen to it. Have fun. Don't get tied down to one put her in a rotation. Make her think she has a chance. Why do you care about her feelings? Screw that. Use her like she's using you for marriage and nesting.   

Tanfan! wrote:

I was taught this and didn't listen to it. Have fun. Don't get tied down to one put her in a rotation. Make her think she has a chance. Why do you care about her feelings? Screw that. Use her like she's using you for marriage and nesting.   

Nesting materials are very expensive.

AMwood wrote:...last night. we got on the discussion of burial. alcohol was involved again. it's not true. alcohol does not give you infinite patience for stupidity.

i'm like, "i don't want to be buried. just cook my body up and throw it away. what good is it taking space in the dirt while supposedly your soul goes to heaven, right? it's meat and bones in an expensive box."

and she's like, "your body is a gift from god. you have to treat it with respect. it would be an insult to him not to bury it properly."

and i'm all, "really? god is insulted if you don't do what he wants with a gift he GAVE you? just how insecure is this guy?"

and she's all, "don't talk that way to me! That's insulting!"

me, "boy, you and god need to take a chill pill. you guys get insulted so easily."

i thought i could do it, guys. i thought i'd be able to ride out the storm of slow-wittedness and just put up with it for the secks. turns out i'm a little older now, and the allure of sex with miss plastic melons just isn't as strong as the repulsion of having stupidity rained down upon me every time she opened up her blow job giver.

i've had plenty of stupid girlfriends, but this one was staunch about subjects she knew nothing about. and i'm not just talking about religion. she had strong opinions on everything. indifference would have been acceptable. But steadfast dedication to your ignorant opinions based on nothing but feelings is a little more than even i can stomach. i'm patient with stupidity, but not with those who are proud of it.

the crazy bitch whisperer may have met the horse he couldn't break. oh, and she wouldn't let me stick my dong in her butt.

The fuk?