What is the worst/most asshole-ish thing you've ever done?

I'm not very scandalous.

I can think of a couple of things I did that still make me shake my head. Girbaud could probably remind me of some I forgot.

When I was a Sr in HS I put a ridiculous shoulder check into a much, much smaller kid that I didn't like for some petty reason. I wasn't a bully at the time, I was pretty universally nice. But something got a hold of me at that moment and I laid into that kid. I was a decent sized dude, probably 6' and 185 and this kid was maybe 5'6 and 130 lbs. He went flying across the hall into a brick wall and was writhing in pain on the ground as I walked away. In retrospect would not be surprised if I separated his shoulder. No repercussions but I still feel bad about it.

**Please do not to admit to any prosecute-able crimes that the statute of limitations has not expired on**

For me, mostly verbal stuff. I'm kind of a dickhead.

Cameron wrote:For me, mostly verbal stuff. I'm kind of a dickhead.

Elaborate please.

I told the Asian side of my family that I knew my daughter is Asian because she'd say, I ruv you.

When I was 14 camping in the Adirondacks with the Boy Scouts, I purposely lured a bear to a an older scout's tent (using chocolate, fruit punch mix, and sliced up fruit) at night once the adults were asleep because he was going on a power trip as patrol leader and treating the rest of the scouts like crap (I had to share a tent with him and he was a total douche). A bunch of us gathered in a nearby tent and observed the whole thing, and this guy was sofa king scared it was hilarious.

He later figured out it was me, but had no proof so I didn't get in any trouble. He also never gave anyone in the troop shit after that night. It was pretty gratifying scaring the shit out of him like that because he was a major tool.

SpartanHT wrote:When I was 14 camping in the Adirondacks with the Boy Scouts, I purposely lured a bear to a an older scout's tent (using chocolate, fruit punch mix, and sliced up fruit) at night once the adults were asleep because he was going on a power trip as patrol leader and treating the rest of the scouts like crap (I had to share a tent with him and he was a total douche). A bunch of us gathered in a nearby tent and observed the whole thing, and this guy was sofa king scared it was hilarious.

He later figured out it was me, but had no proof so I didn't get in any trouble. He also never gave anyone in the troop shit after that night. It was pretty gratifying scaring the shit out of him like that because he was a major tool.

That's actually pretty awesome.

I cheated a lot when I was younger. One time right after high school I was having sex with two women who were fairly good friends. At one point during the fiasco right after woman B and I had finished having sex, woman A called me. This was back pre-caller ID and so I picked up the phone and it was obvious I was uncomfortable so after I hung up, girl B got it out of me that it was girl A and inferred what was going on. Girl B was engaged at the time so I didn't really worry about her knowing that I was sleeping with someone else because, fuck her, she had a fiance. Well anyway, she had some bullshit conscience thing or maybe she was just pissed that I wasn't pining for her only, but anyway she told girl A. Girl A was crazy about me and I liked her a lot too, but not enough to not cheat obviously. It broke her heart and she really gave me the business and I felt horrible about it and still do. I know she's fine. It's been a lot of years. But I still think about how heartless I was. Terrible thing to do.

I didn't realize at the time, but I bullied a lot of kids in high school. I didn't like wimpy little shits and would make them look really stupid. I never hit anyone but I was a major asshole. Regret being that way now.

Ass Dan wrote:I didn't realize at the time, but I bullied a lot of kids in high school. I didn't like wimpy little shits and would make them look really stupid. I never hit anyone but I was a major asshole. Regret being that way now.

You need to provide a play-by-play. We are in the business of board improvement here. Interesting stories improve the board. Bring it.

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:

Elaborate please.

To be honest, I'm probably the biggest dickhead to my friends (as opposed to being a dickhead to people I dislike). When I feel comfortable with someone, that's when I give them the most shit. If I'm very polite to you, there's a decent chance I hate your guts.

That said, I don't specifically remember a lot of the shit that probably cut the deepest. Basically, you can't tell me anything, unless you want it thrown in your face later in front of other people with the intention of embarrassing you.

The thing that I remember most was my friend (who ended up going to Purdue, so fuck him) who was a senior in high school and was dating a freshman chick (who, admittedly, everyone in my circle of friends wanted to bang). We gave him endless shit for it, and I gave him more shit than almost anyone. To be fair, though, he gave the People's Elbow to one of my friends, and never gave a physical reprisal to me (he's a little bitch, though).

My man Tum Tum (who is older than Nairn and has probably had the nickname longer) had the elbow-drop inducing joke. "What do you call a little girl's tampon? Addison's penis." Admittedly not the cleverest, but he cut the deepest.

My point in all of this is that I never physically bullied anyone smaller than me, so I'm a better person than tOP.

Went to a bakery to get pizza with a bunch of friends back in junior high. Saw a wallet/change purse sitting on top of a donut case. Instead of turning it in, I stuck it in my pocket and we left. Didn't tell anyone what I picked up. Later discovered $6-7 and a young woman's ID. Kept the cash and pitched the ID and wallet. Thought about it for years later and felt bad. Still do.

Left my wallet in a golf cart while on vacation in Florida maybe 15 years ago. Went back to the course later and no one had turned it in. Roughly $500 cash gone. Had to cancel 3 or 4 credit cards and have a one new expedited to the resort. Had to have my SIL fax a copy of my birth certificate to the resort so I could get on the plane for the trip back. Had to spend an hour at the SOS getting a new drivers license and registration after I got back. Had to arrange new health and dental cards.

Lesson learned...karma's a bitch.

The Pantry wrote:Went to a bakery to get pizza with a bunch of friends back in junior high. Saw a wallet/change purse sitting on top of a donut case. Instead of turning it in, I stuck it in my pocket and we left. Didn't tell anyone what I picked up. Later discovered $6-7 and a young woman's ID. Kept the cash and pitched the ID and wallet. Thought about it for years later and felt bad. Still do.

Left my wallet in a golf cart while on vacation in Florida maybe 15 years ago. Went back to the course later and no one had turned it in. Roughly $500 cash gone. Had to cancel 3 or 4 credit cards and have a one new expedited to the resort. Had to have my SIL fax a copy of my birth certificate to the resort so I could get on the plane for the trip back. Had to spend an hour at the SOS getting a new drivers license and registration after I got back. Had to arrange new health and dental cards.

Lesson learned...karma's a bitch.

Bitch had $7, can't blame her for being careless with her wallet. You had $500 (a stupid amount to carry around in cash, but whatever), you should have been way more careful. Fuck you, man...

I used to call a guy we went to high school with "gay" all the time. I have never used the word "gay" meaning homosexual just used it more as an insult. He was a nice kid but quirky to the point that he bothered me.

Fast forward to a year or 2 ago and I found out he actually is gay. I have no problem with the gays at all. I feel horrible though that I probably prolonged his coming out by a few years. WBH it was PH.

Oh I also tole about a dozen girls I could marry them to get them in the sack and I had no intention of marying them or ever talking to them again.

GirbaudJeans wrote:I used to call a guy we went to high school with "gay" all the time. I have never used the word "gay" meaning homosexual just used it more as an insult. He was a nice kid but quirky to the point that he bothered me.

Fast forward to a year or 2 ago and I found out he actually is gay. I have no problem with the gays at all. I feel horrible though that I probably prolonged his coming out by a few years. WBH it was PH.

I spent a lot of time with a group of guys my freshman year at MSU, and one of the dudes turned out to be homosexual. Me and several of the other dudes in the group threw around faggot like it was going out of style. Playing Call of Duty 3 system link in the gay guy's house and calling him a faggot every time we killed him, shit like that. We had no idea at the time, but it was kind of heinous in retrospect...

Too many to count... I try to forget.

I don't have any good stories, but I'm getting a lot of good ideas from this thread. You faggots are the best.

Told this before on tTurd.

When I was 16 I went to the 4th of July fireworks in Dearborn. Forget which park. Anyway, afterward I was lighting firecrackers. Lit a pack, the crowd had dispersed by now so it was scattered people randomly walking. One firecracker got thrown from the pack about 50 feet and exploded right next to the ear of this girl walking with two of her friends.

I watched her walk away holding her ear and sticking her finger in it. I felt bad then and still feel bad to this day several years later.

GirbaudJeans wrote:I used to call a guy we went to high school with "gay" all the time. I have never used the word "gay" meaning homosexual just used it more as an insult. He was a nice kid but quirky to the point that he bothered me.

Fast forward to a year or 2 ago and I found out he actually is gay. I have no problem with the gays at all. I feel horrible though that I probably prolonged his coming out by a few years. WBH it was PH.

I knew PH. Everyone knew that dude was a flamer.

Cameron wrote:

To be honest, I'm probably the biggest dickhead to my friends (as opposed to being a dickhead to people I dislike). When I feel comfortable with someone, that's when I give them the most shit. If I'm very polite to you, there's a decent chance I hate your guts.

That said, I don't specifically remember a lot of the shit that probably cut the deepest. Basically, you can't tell me anything, unless you want it thrown in your face later in front of other people with the intention of embarrassing you.

The thing that I remember most was my friend (who ended up going to Purdue, so fuck him) who was a senior in high school and was dating a freshman chick (who, admittedly, everyone in my circle of friends wanted to bang). We gave him endless shit for it, and I gave him more shit than almost anyone. To be fair, though, he gave the People's Elbow to one of my friends, and never gave a physical reprisal to me (he's a little bitch, though).

My man Tum Tum (who is older than Nairn and has probably had the nickname longer) had the elbow-drop inducing joke. "What do you call a little girl's tampon? Addison's penis." Admittedly not the cleverest, but he cut the deepest.

My point in all of this is that I never physically bullied anyone smaller than me, so I'm a better person than tOP.

Sir, this was an excellently told story. You are a very gifted writer. Thank you, please tell more. Sincerely, LWS

I was a mod on the RCMB and used to ban people cause I felt like it.

DWags wrote:I was a mod on the RCMB and used to ban people cause I felt like it.

Lock the thread.

Cameron wrote:

Bitch had $7, can't blame her for being careless with her wallet. You had $500 (a stupid amount to carry around in cash, but whatever), you should have been way more careful. Fuck you, man...

$7 was enough to fill an average car gas tank back in the early 70's. $500 isn't that much to take on vacation unless you're poor. The aggravation of the credit/insurance cards, birth certificate (plus extra bullshit at the airport), and SOS were the worst part.

btw...you truly are a dickhead. Beware of the karma thing you apparently missed in the story :)

SpartanHT wrote:When I was 14 camping in the Adirondacks with the Boy Scouts, I purposely lured a bear to a an older scout's tent (using chocolate, fruit punch mix, and sliced up fruit) at night once the adults were asleep because he was going on a power trip as patrol leader and treating the rest of the scouts like crap (I had to share a tent with him and he was a total douche). A bunch of us gathered in a nearby tent and observed the whole thing, and this guy was sofa king scared it was hilarious.

He later figured out it was me, but had no proof so I didn't get in any trouble. He also never gave anyone in the troop shit after that night. It was pretty gratifying scaring the shit out of him like that because he was a major tool.

I stopped reading after this post. Anything that involves luring wild animals into somebody's camp wins.

I suggested a band to a certain mod at tRCMB and got promptly banned for it..

I miss casual racism

LoneWolfSparty wrote:Told this before on tTurd.

When I was 16 I went to the 4th of July fireworks in Dearborn. Forget which park. Anyway, afterward I was lighting firecrackers. Lit a pack, the crowd had dispersed by now so it was scattered people randomly walking. One firecracker got thrown from the pack about 50 feet and exploded right next to the ear of this girl walking with two of her friends.

I watched her walk away holding her ear and sticking her finger in it. I felt bad then and still feel bad to this day several years later.

An accident? You do/say bigger asshole shit than that on this board basically everyday. Hell, you called a guy a flamer in this very thread.

I used to egg cars on devils night. Thought it was funny back then and I feel horrible about it now.

Also, I shot a few birds with the bb gun when I was a dumb teenager. Feel horrible about it.

I don't remember it but someone told me that I threw up on the lawn of the admissions building at Duke University once... apparently I was also making out with some chick earlier in the evening in her dorm room. I vaguely remember that.

I puked in my buddies car

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:I puked in my buddies car

Nick? Is your buddy's name Nick?

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:I puked in my buddies car

did you have the decency to clean it up the next day?

I did that in high school - felt bad enough that I went the next day, borrowed my buddies car and cleaned it up. She was also a chick, so... there was that.

I joined a message board that wouldn't ban me and I became a repetitive poster, posting the same comebacks over and over, again and again because I think it's witty but I really know it's annoying and even though I didn't have any intellectual property risked or involved in the creation of the website I purposely made it a pain in the ass for people to come to and read, because I"m so ubiquitous on it.

Go Green.

DWags wrote:I joined a message board that wouldn't ban me and I became a repetitive poster, posting the same comebacks over and over, again and again because I think it's witty but I really know it's annoying and even though I didn't have any intellectual property risked or involved in the creation of the website I purposely made it a pain in the ass for people to come to and read, because I"m so ubiquitous on it.

Go Green.

and you wonder why people don't like you..

DWags wrote:I joined a message board that wouldn't ban me and I became a repetitive poster, posting the same comebacks over and over, again and again because I think it's witty but I really know it's annoying and even though I didn't have any intellectual property risked or involved in the creation of the website I purposely made it a pain in the ass for people to come to and read, because I"m so ubiquitous on it.

Go Green.

You're far more annoying with this shit than bob. Ignore his posts. Every thread you just bitch about it. Back to rcmb if you can't handle it. Thanks.

Robert J Sakimano wrote:did you have the decency to clean it up the next day?

I did that in high school - felt bad enough that I went the next day, borrowed my buddies car and cleaned it up. She was also a chick, so... there was that.

His name was Tony, not a hot chick unfortunately. I helped him clean it that night, but I wasn't very coherent at the time so I can't get into the details. Sorry Bob.

i sold my buddies halo 3 without telling him.

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:



You're far more annoying with this shit than bob. Ignore his posts. Every thread you just bitch about it. Back to rcmb if you can't handle it. Thanks.

You're a great American little bitch.

Go Green

Honestly, post anonymously on an internet message board. That and drunk driving.

DWags wrote:

You're a great American little bitch.

Go Green

IM PUTTING YOU ON IGNORE YOU RUIN THE BOARD THIS IS SERIOUS STUFF