Just installed a bidet!

Very excited to try it. Need to poop first.

Found it at Target for $20 on clearance. It has awesome pressure and I didn't fuck up at all!

Now the wait to poop begins....

Need pics. Better yet, go live on Insta.

tGreenWay wrote:Need pics. Better yet, go live on Insta.

I got all hot and sweaty installing it. Should've gone live on Facebook.

Death Roe wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:Need pics. Better yet, go live on Insta.

I got all hot and sweaty installing it. Should've gone live on Facebook.

If you'd taken pics you could've printed and sold your own 2017 man meat calendar.

For washing yer backside, mate.

Here's my question. How sanitary is this, is their maintenance required to maintain cleanliness ? I mean after the spicket sprays your bunghole and dislodged poop pieces / particles, I would imagine that some would fall upon the spicket and create a smatter.

CAn it double as a drinking fountain?

When you have guests you don't like remember to turn off the hot water and run it a few times befor they arrive.

GRR Spartan wrote:When you have guests you don't like remember to turn off the hot water and run it a few times befor they arrive.

I avoid welcoming people into my home whom I don't like. If they get in anyway, they sure as hell aren't staying long enough to poop.

tGreenWay wrote:

GRR Spartan wrote:When you have guests you don't like remember to turn off the hot water and run it a few times befor they arrive.

I avoid welcoming people into my home whom I don't like. If they get in anyway, they sure as hell aren't staying long enough to poop.

You obviously don't have a brother in law like I do.

Death Roe wrote:Very excited to try it. Need to poop first.

Found it at Target for $20 on clearance. It has awesome pressure and I didn't fuck up at all!

Now the wait to poop begins....

You're going to love it, the downside is that you never want to shit away from home again.

DWags wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:

I avoid welcoming people into my home whom I don't like. If they get in anyway, they sure as hell aren't staying long enough to poop.

You obviously don't have a brother in law like I do.

That must be true. My bil is pretty cool.

Wish I had one. I hate that we traditionally just wipe with tp.

If you got shit in your hands, would you be satisfied just wiping it off with some TP and moving on? Why are we OK with that in our ass cheeks?

SeeRockCity wrote:Wish I had one. I hate that we traditionally just wipe with tp.

If you got shit in your hands, would you be satisfied just wiping it off with some TP and moving on? Why are we OK with that in our ass cheeks?

Just post that you need one to maintain the board - someone will pony up.

(Trust me, I've see similar ideas work elsewhere)

SeeRockCity wrote:Wish I had one. I hate that we traditionally just wipe with tp.

If you got shit in your hands, would you be satisfied just wiping it off with some TP and moving on? Why are we OK with that in our ass cheeks?

That's what booty wipes are for. The cleanest you can be is showering after a dump, but booty wipes does a very good job when a shower isn't possible. And since I know someone is going to pop into this thread to say not to flush them even though the label claims they're flushable, my answer is, I don't. I use TP to handle the main mess and the wipes to rid the remains. Wrap the wipes in tp and toss into the trash. Some even come individually wrapped for pooping away from home.
BTW, I love our weird conversations here.

tGreenWay wrote:

SeeRockCity wrote:Wish I had one. I hate that we traditionally just wipe with tp.

If you got shit in your hands, would you be satisfied just wiping it off with some TP and moving on? Why are we OK with that in our ass cheeks?

That's what booty wipes are for. The cleanest you can be is showering after a dump, but booty wipes does a very good job when a shower isn't possible. And since I know someone is going to pop into this thread to say not to flush them even though the label claims they're flushable, my answer is, I don't. I use TP to handle the main mess and the wipes to rid the remains. Wrap the wipes in tp and toss into the trash. Some even come individually wrapped for pooping away from home.
BTW, I love our weird conversations here.

If you're getting that clean you've eradicated dingleberries...leaves nothing for your wife to groom.

tGreenWay wrote:

SeeRockCity wrote:Wish I had one.  I hate that we traditionally just wipe with tp.

If you got shit in your hands, would you be satisfied just wiping it off with some TP and moving on?  Why are we OK with that in our ass cheeks?

That's what booty wipes are for. The cleanest you can be is showering after a dump, but booty wipes does a very good job when a shower isn't possible.  And since I know someone is going to pop into this thread to say not to flush them even though the label claims they're flushable, my answer is, I don't. I use TP to handle the main mess and the wipes to rid the remains. Wrap the wipes in tp and toss into the trash. Some even come individually wrapped for pooping away from home.  
BTW, I love our weird conversations here.

Why shouldn't booty wipes be flushed?

LooseGoose wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:

That's what booty wipes are for. The cleanest you can be is showering after a dump, but booty wipes does a very good job when a shower isn't possible. And since I know someone is going to pop into this thread to say not to flush them even though the label claims they're flushable, my answer is, I don't. I use TP to handle the main mess and the wipes to rid the remains. Wrap the wipes in tp and toss into the trash. Some even come individually wrapped for pooping away from home.
BTW, I love our weird conversations here.

If you're getting that clean you've eradicated dingleberries...leaves nothing for your wife to groom.

Would never happen anyway. Wifey has a massive aversion to poop. She's already said when I'm old and unable to clean myself, there's no way in hell she'll help me. Told me to reconcile that there will be a stranger wiping me clean. I've already put in my request for a young, chubby Polish immigrant.

Brondell Swash SE600 Elongated or Round Bidet Seat with Air Dryer and Stainless-Steel Nozzle | Nightlight | Deodorizer | Remote Control

Woot of the Day $249

I would definitely spring for a higher end model than I have now but I have nowhere to plug my toilet in. Not worth getting an electrician out to wire a new outlet for a luxury bidet when the one I have works fine on water pressure alone. Maybe one day I'll get motivated.

This thread has me seriously considering this thing. Do any of you have one?

https://youtu.be/juilRGZXLwM

SawGreen wrote:This thread has me seriously considering this thing. Do any of you have one?

https://youtu.be/juilRGZXLwM

At least WBH, Roe and I do......I'm not sure about the rest of the heathens.

I’m toilet paper guy. I keep Scott tissues because of the cost savings but have a few rolls of charmin for the special occasions.

I have acquired a second bidet for the new house.

#NoBidetNoWay

steveschneider wrote:I’m toilet paper guy. I keep Scott tissues because of the cost savings but have a few rolls of charmin for the special occasions.

I'm afraid to ask what those special occasions are.

Death Roe wrote:I have acquired a second bidet for the new house.

#NoBidetNoWay

Are you a plumber or something? I don’t understand how you can just install a bidet without some extensive tearing up of things.

steveschneider wrote:I’m toilet paper guy. I keep Scott tissues because of the cost savings but have a few rolls of charmin for the special occasions.

I heard this in a video, and it made sense to me. If I got shit on my hand or my arm, would I just wipe it off with toilet paper and go about my day?

Yeah, probably.

One on Woot today - the comment section is glowing.

Brondell Swash SE600 Bidet Seat

SawGreen wrote:

steveschneider wrote:I’m toilet paper guy. I keep Scott tissues because of the cost savings but have a few rolls of charmin for the special occasions.

I heard this in a video, and it made sense to me. If I got shit on my hand or my arm, would I just wipe it off with toilet paper and go about my day?

Yeah, probably.

You smell like poop.

SawGreen wrote:

steveschneider wrote:I’m toilet paper guy. I keep Scott tissues because of the cost savings but have a few rolls of charmin for the special occasions.

I heard this in a video, and it made sense to me. If I got shit on my hand or my arm, would I just wipe it off with toilet paper and go about my day?

Yeah, probably.

Why would you have shit on your arm? never mind, I don't want to know what you do for fun.

I.B. Fine wrote:

SawGreen wrote:

I heard this in a video, and it made sense to me. If I got shit on my hand or my arm, would I just wipe it off with toilet paper and go about my day?

Yeah, probably.

Why would you have shit on your arm? never mind, I don't want to know what you do for fun.

Saw loves dogs and that’s how he gets them to follow him everywhere. All of them. All the dogs, wherever he goes. Saw Green is like a poopy pied piper. A poopy piper.

TMI

I.B. Fine wrote:TMI

I’m just the messenger.

I.B. Fine wrote:

SawGreen wrote:

I heard this in a video, and it made sense to me. If I got shit on my hand or my arm, would I just wipe it off with toilet paper and go about my day?

Yeah, probably.

Why would you have shit on your arm? never mind, I don't want to know what you do for fun.

I have a personal challenge of 3 squares...but sometimes tWife buys substandard paper.

SawGreen wrote:

I.B. Fine wrote:
Why would you have shit on your arm? never mind, I don't want to know what you do for fun.

I have a personal challenge of 3 squares...but sometimes tWife buys substandard paper.

So what, you augment with your sleeves?
Does tGreenWay actually know you?
Not judging, just asking.

I.B. Fine wrote:

SawGreen wrote:

I have a personal challenge of 3 squares...but sometimes tWife buys substandard paper.

So what, you augment with your sleeves?
Does tGreenWay actually know you?
Not judging, just asking.

No. I don't get shit on my arms. I was searching for some logic for owning a bidet. The dude in the video made a point that if you got shit on your hand, you wouldn't just wipe it off with TP and go about your day. So why not your ass? I thought there was some logic to it. But why stop there? I'm thinking an ass car wash type contraption (wash, buff, blow dry).

I.B. Fine wrote:

SawGreen wrote:

I have a personal challenge of 3 squares...but sometimes tWife buys substandard paper.

So what, you augment with your sleeves?
Does tGreenWay actually know you?
Not judging, just asking.

I’ve heard low, guttural grumbling among the dog circles I frequent.

Just wanted a simulated rim job, OK
;-)

tGreenWay wrote:

I.B. Fine wrote:
So what, you augment with your sleeves?
Does tGreenWay actually know you?
Not judging, just asking.

I’ve heard low, guttural grumbling among the dog circles I frequent.

You're sounding more like the petophilia type all the time

LooseGoose wrote:

SawGreen wrote:This thread has me seriously considering this thing. Do any of you have one?

https://youtu.be/juilRGZXLwM

At least WBH, Roe and I do......I'm not sure about the rest of the heathens.

Holy Twilight Zone. I broke down and installed this bad boy with the dual nozzles for the ladies today. Haven't given it a test drive yet.