Sump pump experts, please help!

Every time it rains, the sump pump does whatever the sump pump does. And every time the sump pump does whatever the sump pump does, my wife says she thinks the sump pump might be going bad. This has been going on for 24 years. So my question is: how do I tactfully tell my wife to shut the fuck up about the goddamn sump pump?

You don’t. You just move out.

Have you considered turning off the sump pump, letting it flood just a little bit, then “replacing it” with a new sump pump 

If you need something to do while you’re pretending to shop for a new sump pump you could post in the swill or read old swill threads or make new swill threads :)

“I just replaced it a few years ago”

kingstonlake wrote:You don’t. You just move out.

and don't forget to burn the house down on the way out so a future owner doesn't have to deal with his wife telling him he has a bad a sump pump

Pervis Muldoon wrote:Every time it rains, the sump pump does whatever the sump pump does. And every time the sump pump does whatever the sump pump does, my wife says she thinks the sump pump might be going bad. This has been going on for 24 years. So my question is: how do I tactfully tell my wife to shut the fuck up about the goddamn sump pump?

Replace it and chalk up the cost to domestic bliss.

Your wife wants to meet the plumber. There’s a whole network of housewives that circulate ratings of electricians, plumbers, landscapers, etc. it’s very common. A lot of people are saying it.

kingstonlake wrote:Your wife wants to meet the plumber. There’s a whole network of housewives that circulate ratings of electricians, plumbers, landscapers, etc. it’s very common. A lot of people are saying it.

Do it yourself? Not really that hard to disconnect & reconnect the pump.

Be sure to wear jeans that slip down your ass and show your butt crack...

You guys were even more helpful than I had hoped. The Swill saved my marriage! Five stars.

Be safe than sorry.  Get a new one, wait ‘til ole reliable dies and replace. Then buy another as back up.  It’s cheap insurance.   Or take your chances with hearing a decade of “I told you so” for at least a decade.

My childhood home was built on slow draining clay with a slightly sloped field across the street.  Every time it rained moderately the sump pump ran every 5 minutes, even more with heavy thaws or downpours.

Neighbors laughed at m folks when they heard we had 2 incase the first wore out/failed.  We had a huge storm and after 24 hours of near continuous runnng the pump died.  My dad switched it out in less than 15 minutes.

Neighbors on both side had flooded basements.

I had a really great response typed out to this and then the board pooped itself... not sure if I feel up to re-typing it.


EDIT: FINE... enough with the PMs guys... I'll type it.

Motown Spartan wrote:“I just replaced it a few years ago”

If you played this right:
Don't you remember the entire weekend I devoted to this project? The blood sweat and tears I put into providing you (and our children/pets) with a safe home? I feel so under-appreciated. Especially after I saved us (insert a reasonable amount here) $75,000 in plumbing expenses. I'm going to go think about this for a while. Please don't disturb me....[sulk away]

Go watch something on TV for like an hour... go back to the wife... she'll be all like:
Oh Pervis you are such a great provider, let me make you a good diner and show you my boobies. (or whatever you are in to)

AvgMSUJoe wrote:

Motown Spartan wrote:“I just replaced it a few years ago”

If you were played this right:
Don't you remember the entire weekend I devoted to this project? The blood sweat and tears I put into providing you (and our children/pets) with a safe home? I feel so under-appreciated. Especially after I saved us (insert a reasonable amount here) $75,000 in plumbing expenses. I'm going to go think about this for a while. Please don't disturb me....[sulk away]

Go watch something on TV for like an hour... go back to the wife... she'll be all like:
Oh Pervis you are such a great provider, let me make you a good diner and show you my boobies. (or whatever you are in to)

Not to mention the 7 trips to Home Depot (or other hardware store).

speaking of hardware stores/Home Depot, etc.. I try to avoid the big box places like Lowes, Home Depot, etc., like the plague.

needed some home project materials a week or so ago, so I hit up the new-ish Ace Hardware over on business I-69, across the 4 lane from the Bath/Haslett Meijer.

it's pretty big, for an Ace Hardware store but still small enough that you don't get lost in a cavernous warehouse type place like Home Depot. Folks there were very helpful, friendly.

10/10 - would recommend.

Robert J Sakimano wrote:speaking of hardware stores/Home Depot, etc.. I try to avoid the big box places like Lowes, Home Depot, etc., like the plague.

needed some home project materials a week or so ago, so I hit up the new-ish Ace Hardware over on business I-69, across the 4 lane from the Bath/Haslett Meijer.

it's pretty big, for an Ace Hardware store but still small enough that you don't get lost in a cavernous warehouse type place like Home Depot. Folks there were very helpful, friendly.

10/10 - would recommend.

I could not agree more. I don't even care if Ace costs more for a comparable item; time is money. The one I go to recently finished a remodel and it's beautiful.

Clearly this is a question better suited for the local Ace Hardware.

My two cents: the life expectancy of a sump pump is around 10 years. If your sump pump has really been around for 24+ years - personally I would jut replace it. I am not sure what is in your basement or how prone to flooding it potentially is but for me it is just cheap insurance.

Robert J Sakimano wrote:speaking of hardware stores/Home Depot, etc.. I try to avoid the big box places like Lowes, Home Depot, etc., like the plague.

needed some home project materials a week or so ago, so I hit up the new-ish Ace Hardware over on business I-69, across the 4 lane from the Bath/Haslett Meijer.

it's pretty big, for an Ace Hardware store but still small enough that you don't get lost in a cavernous warehouse type place like Home Depot. Folks there were very helpful, friendly.

10/10 - would recommend.

Ace is awesome. The new one you mentioned is like a candy store for grown ups.

One of these years she’s going to be right, and then you’ll never hear the end of it. My advice is to replace your wife immediately.

MSU addict wrote:Clearly this is a question better suited for the local Ace Hardware.

My two cents: the life expectancy of a sump pump is around 10 years. If your sump pump has really been around for 24+ years - personally I would jut replace it. I am not sure what is in your basement or how prone to flooding it potentially is but for me it is just cheap insurance.

Mrs. Muldoon

I say fuck it, floor it. Let's see how long she can last.

AvgMSUJoe wrote:

Motown Spartan wrote:“I just replaced it a few years ago”

If you played this right:
Don't you remember the entire weekend I devoted to this project? The blood sweat and tears I put into providing you (and our children/pets) with a safe home? I feel so under-appreciated. Especially after I saved us (insert a reasonable amount here) $75,000 in plumbing expenses. I'm going to go think about this for a while. Please don't disturb me....[sulk away]

Go watch something on TV for like an hour... go back to the wife... she'll be all like:
Oh Pervis you are such a great provider, let me make you a good diner and show you my boobies. (or whatever you are in to)

That was worth the time it took you to re-type it.

MSU addict wrote:Clearly this is a question better suited for the local Ace Hardware.

My two cents: the life expectancy of a sump pump is around 10 years. If your sump pump has really been around for 24+ years - personally I would jut replace it. I am not sure what is in your basement or how prone to flooding it potentially is but for me it is just cheap insurance.

If 24 years is a long time for a sump pump, doesn’t that mean I have a good one? The last thing I want is to end up telling some guy about this one day while grilling and hear him say, “Oh man, you never should have gotten rid of the XR-1200. Those things last a couple hundred years. These new ones fall apart after half a decade.”

Pervis Muldoon wrote:

MSU addict wrote:Clearly this is a question better suited for the local Ace Hardware.

My two cents: the life expectancy of a sump pump is around 10 years. If your sump pump has really been around for 24+ years - personally I would jut replace it. I am not sure what is in your basement or how prone to flooding it potentially is but for me it is just cheap insurance.

If 24 years is a long time for a sump pump, doesn’t that mean I have a good one? The last thing I want is to end up telling some guy about this one day while grilling and hear him say, “Oh man, you never should have gotten rid of the XR-1200. Those things last a couple hundred years. These new ones fall apart after half a decade.”

That sump pump is obviously the keystone to your plumbing system.

Pervis Muldoon wrote:

MSU addict wrote:Clearly this is a question better suited for the local Ace Hardware.  

My two cents: the life expectancy of a sump pump is around 10 years.  If your sump pump has really been around for 24+ years - personally I would jut replace it.  I am not sure what is in your basement or how prone to flooding it potentially is but for me it is just cheap insurance.  

If 24 years is a long time for a sump pump, doesn’t that mean I have a good one? The last thing I want is to end up telling some guy about this one day while grilling and hear him say, “Oh man, you never should have gotten rid of the XR-1200. Those things last a couple hundred years. These new ones fall apart after half a decade.”

Ever listen to the old radio show called Car Talk? The Magliozzi brothers would get calls from listeners every so often who admitted to never once replacing a part on their 20 year old cars and wondered if they should update certain things. Tommy & Ray would say hell no, leave it alone, because once you change one thing out it’s likely the entire car will immediately fall apart.