post a joke that makes you laugh
+11
Robert J Sakimano
AvgMSUJoe
duffy munn
tGreenWay
I.B. Fine
goodbar
Dendrobates
indianaspartan
HT
tTy
CORNER BLITZ
15 posters
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Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
CORNER BLITZ wrote:
Totall almost gonged this until like 15 seconds remaining....
tTy- Geronte
- Posts : 4770
Join date : 2014-05-10
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
CORNER BLITZ wrote:
lollolololol, couldn't even get through half of this without LOL.
tTy- Geronte
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Join date : 2014-05-10
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
CORNER BLITZ wrote:
Joke three, so far.... not even a giggle yet..... trust me, I'm an asshole and love making fun of retards and shit, but this dude is not funny.
Still letting it roll, just out of the goodness of my heart.
It is probably his terrible delivery.
Jew joke. sucked. Not cuz of content, cuz I don't really gaf, but this guy is terrible. gong....
tTy- Geronte
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Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
You can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish.
HT- Spartiate
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Join date : 2014-08-08
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
blanchfest
indianaspartan- Spartiate
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Age : 54
Location : Fishers, Indiana
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
I read this twice and thought of Greeny both times....
=========
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP!…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog h e makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER…
FASTER…
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping...
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
…on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…
and,
[Wait for it...]
The coffin stops.
=========
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP!…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog h e makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER…
FASTER…
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping...
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
…on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…
and,
[Wait for it...]
The coffin stops.
Guest- Guest
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
What did the guy say when he walked into the bar?
Ouch
Ouch
Dendrobates- Geronte
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Join date : 2014-04-20
Age : 74
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
Ok Goose...
I did chuckle a little bit on that awful one.
I did chuckle a little bit on that awful one.
Dendrobates- Geronte
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Age : 74
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
I have an awesome joke about construction that I'd love to tell you...but i'm still working on it.
goodbar- Geronte
- Posts : 1114
Join date : 2014-04-17
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
This reminds me, when do we get the rimshot smiley?
Don't do it for me, do it for tGreenway, he's not going to be around forever.
Don't do it for me, do it for tGreenway, he's not going to be around forever.
I.B. Fine- Geronte
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Location : Giant turd on a stick, Thanks B
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
I.B. Fine wrote:This reminds me, when do we get the rimshot smiley?
Don't do it for me, do it for tGreenway, he's not going to be around forever.
WAIT! WHAT? WHO HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO????
tGreenWay- Geronte
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Location : East Lansing
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
LooseGoose wrote:I read this twice and thought of Greeny both times....
=========
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP!…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog h e makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER…
FASTER…
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping...
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
…on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…
and,
[Wait for it...]
The coffin stops.
tGreenWay- Geronte
- Swill Pick 'em 2022 Regular Season Champion
- Posts : 55829
Join date : 2014-04-18
Location : East Lansing
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
tGreenWay wrote:LooseGoose wrote:I read this twice and thought of Greeny both times....
=========
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP!…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog h e makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER…
FASTER…
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping...
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
…on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…
and,
[Wait for it...]
The coffin stops.
I had an uncle that specialized in jokes like that. Still think of him when I see/hear one. RIP Eldon.
Pictured here at age 82 with his Dad, my grandpa on his 102nd birthday. Outside of my Dad the 2 men that most influenced me.
Guest- Guest
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
So, they’re the guys we blame? Kidding. That photo is old school cool. Thanks for sharing.
tGreenWay- Geronte
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Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
Very cool. In my mind the caption to that photo is, "That thing. The thing we discussed the other day about you know who? About what happened? Yeah. Its all taken care of."
Last edited by goodbar on 2018-11-07, 14:45; edited 1 time in total
goodbar- Geronte
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Join date : 2014-04-17
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
So a guy calls his boss to tell him he won't be coming to work.
Guy: I can't come in today, I'm sick.
Boss: how sick are you?
Guy: Well, I'm home fucking my sister. How SICK is that!
Guy: I can't come in today, I'm sick.
Boss: how sick are you?
Guy: Well, I'm home fucking my sister. How SICK is that!
duffy munn- Geronte
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Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
Everyone might know this... probably... whatever.
From my kid.
What's brown and sticky?
a stick.
From my kid.
What's brown and sticky?
a stick.
AvgMSUJoe- Geronte
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Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
loledduffy munn wrote:So a guy calls his boss to tell him he won't be coming to work.
Guy: I can't come in today, I'm sick.
Boss: how sick are you?
Guy: Well, I'm home fucking my sister. How SICK is that!
AvgMSUJoe- Geronte
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Location : As stupid and vicious as men are, this is a lovely day.
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
What's the worst thing a girl can hear after blowing Willie Nelson..........?????
I'm not Willie Nelson.
I'm not Willie Nelson.
duffy munn- Geronte
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Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
So a guy is working at a local clothing store... kind of a quiet day. A blind dude walks in with his seeing-eye dog. The clerk, being kind of bored, thinks to himself - "huh, I've never seen a blind guy out buying clothes. This should be interesting"... so he just kind of sits back and watches for a minute or two.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, the blind man raises the dog's leash over his and head and starts whirling the dog around in circles..
the clerk kind of freaks out.. runs over, doesn't want to be rude.. so he says "umm.. Sir, can I help you with anything"?
the blind guy says, "no thanks.. I'm just looking around".
Suddenly, out of nowhere, the blind man raises the dog's leash over his and head and starts whirling the dog around in circles..
the clerk kind of freaks out.. runs over, doesn't want to be rude.. so he says "umm.. Sir, can I help you with anything"?
the blind guy says, "no thanks.. I'm just looking around".
Robert J Sakimano- Geronte
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Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
Robert J Sakimano wrote:So a guy is working at a local clothing store... kind of a quiet day. A blind dude walks in with his seeing-eye dog. The clerk, being kind of bored, thinks to himself - "huh, I've never seen a blind guy out buying clothes. This should be interesting"... so he just kind of sits back and watches for a minute or two.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, the blind man raises the dog's leash over his and head and starts whirling the dog around in circles..
the clerk kind of freaks out.. runs over, doesn't want to be rude.. so he says "umm.. Sir, can I help you with anything"?
the blind guy says, "no thanks.. I'm just looking around".
Boo! Boooooo!!!
tGreenWay- Geronte
- Swill Pick 'em 2022 Regular Season Champion
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Location : East Lansing
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
tGreenWay wrote:Robert J Sakimano wrote:So a guy is working at a local clothing store... kind of a quiet day. A blind dude walks in with his seeing-eye dog. The clerk, being kind of bored, thinks to himself - "huh, I've never seen a blind guy out buying clothes. This should be interesting"... so he just kind of sits back and watches for a minute or two.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, the blind man raises the dog's leash over his and head and starts whirling the dog around in circles..
the clerk kind of freaks out.. runs over, doesn't want to be rude.. so he says "umm.. Sir, can I help you with anything"?
the blind guy says, "no thanks.. I'm just looking around".
Boo! Boooooo!!!
Robert J Sakimano- Geronte
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Join date : 2014-04-15
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
A traveling business man finds himself sitting next to an attractive lady at the hotel bar. The two strike up a conversation and after a while the business man begins to feel a bit more relaxed and decides to ask some more pointed questions.
Business man: "If I were to pay you a million dollars, would you sleep with me?"
Lady: (Pauses briefly to consider) "Why, yes, I would!"
Business man: "Well, what if I offered you $10?"
Lady: "No, what do you think I am, a whore!?"
Business man: "Listen lady, that's already been determined. We've moved on to the negotiation phase!"
Business man: "If I were to pay you a million dollars, would you sleep with me?"
Lady: (Pauses briefly to consider) "Why, yes, I would!"
Business man: "Well, what if I offered you $10?"
Lady: "No, what do you think I am, a whore!?"
Business man: "Listen lady, that's already been determined. We've moved on to the negotiation phase!"
Senior Dickfist- Spartiate
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Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
Senior Dickfist wrote:A traveling business man finds himself sitting next to an attractive lady at the hotel bar. The two strike up a conversation and after a while the business man begins to feel a bit more relaxed and decides to ask some more pointed questions.
Business man: "If I were to pay you a million dollars, would you sleep with me?"
Lady: (Pauses briefly to consider) "Why, yes, I would!"
Business man: "Well, what if I offered you $10?"
Lady: "No, what do you think I am, a whore!?"
Business man: "Listen lady, that's already been determined. We've moved on to the negotiation phase!"
You’re a traveling business man, did this really happen to you?
tGreenWay- Geronte
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Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
Man walks into his kitchen with a sheep under his arm. His wife was at the table. Man says, “ look at the pig I’ve been fucking”.
His wife in disgust stands up and screams at him, “ You’re pathetic! And that’s not even a pig!”
Man says, “I wasn’t talking to you”.
His wife in disgust stands up and screams at him, “ You’re pathetic! And that’s not even a pig!”
Man says, “I wasn’t talking to you”.
DWags- Geronte
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Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
An elderly couple is sitting on their porch swing having celebrated with the family their 50th anniversary.
The old woman suddenly cocks back and punches her husband in the jaw.
The old man recoils and says, "what the hell was that for?"
The woman replies, "That's for 50 years of bad sex."
They go back to rocking for a minute, when the old man suddenly back-hands his wife.
The wife grabs her nose and exclaims, "What the hell was that for?"
The old man replies, "That's for knowing the difference!"
The old woman suddenly cocks back and punches her husband in the jaw.
The old man recoils and says, "what the hell was that for?"
The woman replies, "That's for 50 years of bad sex."
They go back to rocking for a minute, when the old man suddenly back-hands his wife.
The wife grabs her nose and exclaims, "What the hell was that for?"
The old man replies, "That's for knowing the difference!"
SawGreen- Geronte
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Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
damn, brah.DWags wrote:Man walks into his kitchen with a sheep under his arm. His wife was at the table. Man says, “ look at the pig I’ve been fucking”.
His wife in disgust stands up and screams at him, “ You’re pathetic! And that’s not even a pig!”
Man says, “I wasn’t talking to you”.
#TryingNotToChuckle
Robert J Sakimano- Geronte
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Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
tGreenWay wrote:Senior Dickfist wrote:A traveling business man finds himself sitting next to an attractive lady at the hotel bar. The two strike up a conversation and after a while the business man begins to feel a bit more relaxed and decides to ask some more pointed questions.
Business man: "If I were to pay you a million dollars, would you sleep with me?"
Lady: (Pauses briefly to consider) "Why, yes, I would!"
Business man: "Well, what if I offered you $10?"
Lady: "No, what do you think I am, a whore!?"
I can neither confirm nor deny!
Business man: "Listen lady, that's already been determined. We've moved on to the negotiation phase!"
You’re a traveling business man, did this really happen to you?
I can neither confirm nor deny!
Senior Dickfist- Spartiate
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Age : 103
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Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
A gas station owner in Arkansas was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read:
*** "FREE SEX w/fill-up ... just guess the right number between 1 & 10.” ***
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and asked for his FREE SEX.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his FREE SEX.
The redneck guessed ‘8’. The proprietor said, "You were close. The number was ‘7’. Sorry, but no FREE SEX this time."
A week later, the same redneck, along w/his brother, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his FREE SEX.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
The redneck guessed ‘2’ this time.
The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was ‘3’. You were close, but no FREE SEX this time."
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his brother, "I think that game is rigged, and he doesn't really give away FREE SEX."
Bubba replied, "No. it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week."
*** "FREE SEX w/fill-up ... just guess the right number between 1 & 10.” ***
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and asked for his FREE SEX.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his FREE SEX.
The redneck guessed ‘8’. The proprietor said, "You were close. The number was ‘7’. Sorry, but no FREE SEX this time."
A week later, the same redneck, along w/his brother, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his FREE SEX.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
The redneck guessed ‘2’ this time.
The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was ‘3’. You were close, but no FREE SEX this time."
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his brother, "I think that game is rigged, and he doesn't really give away FREE SEX."
Bubba replied, "No. it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week."
Guest- Guest
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
Michigan is going to hire Stormy Daniels as their new head coac. Sure she’ll blow a few but she’ll never choke on the big one.
DWags- Geronte
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Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
OK, this is horrible but I laughed.
A young New York City woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Hudson River. Just before she could throw herself from the bridge, a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy, the woman accepted.
That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.
From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine and make love to her until dawn.
Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. “He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy."
"I see," the captain said.
Her conscience got the better of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."
Guest- Guest
Re: post a joke that makes you laugh
LooseGoose wrote:OK, this is horrible but I laughed.
A young New York City woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Hudson River. Just before she could throw herself from the bridge, a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy, the woman accepted.
That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.
From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine and make love to her until dawn.
Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. “He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy."
"I see," the captain said.
Her conscience got the better of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."
Oh that one is hilarious
aualum06- Spartiate
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