Could you survive prison?

by **tGreenWay** 2014-05-07, 17:55

The Shawshank Redemption was on a couple of weeks ago, and it got me thinking if I could handle any time in a modern day prison. The short answer is probably not. Considering all of the elements inside those walls, with gangs, rape, whatever, I'd probably wind up taking myself out.

by **Turtleneck** 2014-05-07, 18:05

What about one of those "country club" prisons where you get to play tennis as punishment for securities fraud? Are those even real?

by **tGreenWay** 2014-05-07, 18:09

Turtleneck wrote:What about one of those "country club" prisons where you get to play tennis as punishment for securities fraud? Are those even real?

Camp Cupcake, yeah. Except John Law would never find my ill-gotten gains. I'd go down for something violent, cuz that's just how I roll.

by Bud Fox 2014-05-07, 18:11

Turtleneck wrote:What about one of those "country club" prisons where you get to play tennis as punishment for securities fraud? Are those even real?

Now, a minimum security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. You see, the trick is, kick someone's ass the first day or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all right.

by **Death Roe** 2014-05-07, 18:17

Bud Fox wrote:

Now, a minimum security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. You see, the trick is, kick someone's ass the first day or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all right.

Do you get conjugal visits?

by tTito 2014-05-07, 18:21

Death Roe wrote:

Do you get conjugal visits?

I lived in Detroit for 4 years while attending law school. Same thing.

by **StylesGShmooth** 2014-05-07, 18:26

Hell's fuckin yeah. I'd be the Rock Boss.

First day I'd walk in some wannabe probably ask 'what size them shoes you got on'. Then I'd be like ' yo size, bitch!' Then get the whoopin. Gotta whoop some ass on the first day. Hopefully the guards don't find the spare Ass Whoopin I always carry in my back pocket. Might have to keister it to be sure.

Seriously the biggest problem everyone on this board, myself included, would have is that when you start talking and you sound like a civilized & educated individual that'll be like the scent of raw meat dropped in a kennel.

Did do 60 days in County a few years back though, that shit was cake. Glenn Winston was in the bunk next to mine.

by **goodbar** 2014-05-07, 18:59

**** yeah. I'd get everyone hooked on my jenkem and then I'd be like the bootleg night-soil huffing version of Al Capone during prohibition.

by Bizarro Fletch 2014-05-07, 19:12

Put it this way - I wear argyle.

by **Gomer** 2014-05-07, 19:13

tGreenWay wrote:The Shawshank Redemption was on a couple of weeks ago, and it got me thinking if I could handle any time in a modern day prison. The short answer is probably not. Considering all of the elements inside those walls, with gangs, rape, whatever, I'd probably wind up taking myself out.

Yo' hand is nice and supple, like a lady!

Could you survive prison? 080908-1912-passingofan2

by RBW Spartan 2014-05-07, 19:28

Once the Aryan Brotherhood found out I was a jew, I'd probably be fucked.

by **DWags** 2014-05-07, 19:35

I hear you get 3 squares a day and plenty of sex.

by Stoops21 2014-05-07, 19:57

I worked in probation for awhile and the clients that just got out of prison said if you just fought your hardest you probably weren't someone's bitch. I have read some sick stuff about prisons. I read a book in undergrad by someone doing life. One story in there actually made me close the book and not finish it. I would hang myself before I were locked up.

by SawGreen 2014-05-07, 20:07

Yes. Been there, done that.

by Roger Waymeth 2014-05-07, 20:10

Whatever you do, don't twist tie the front of your t-shirt and scoot around on roller skates while working on a sucker.

by **StylesGShmooth** 2014-05-07, 20:22

by **Gomer** 2014-05-07, 20:53

gHost Spartan wrote:Me, absolutely I think I could survive prison. Interestingly, I had this conversation with several attorneys recently. OP mentioned Shawshank. Well, there's a lot of truth to the fact that Andy survived because he was skilled and smart. If I went to prison, I'd offer legal services to inmates and do a bunch of appellate work in exchange for protection. I would really emphasize that I'm an attorney and willing to provide legal services immediately upon imprisonment. So yeah, I think I'd have a decent shot - and I'd focus a lot on child custody, dissolution, criminal cases, everything.

Brilliant idea. I'm sure those guys who were found guilty in court with a lawyer absolutely LOVE attorneys!

by DITKA 2014-05-07, 21:02

Easier said than done, but my hope would be yes. Here's to never having to find out! Could you survive prison? 1837840279

by Loose Stools 2014-05-07, 21:06

My first post, here (thanks to Pantry), anyway. I've spent time in prison. Really, I have. I work for the State and have had occasions where I must go into prisons. They are relatively clean, seemingly in order, fairly quiet--but they are soul-suckingly depressing. When you walk through a prison yard and think that this 100 yard square (give or take) chunk of land is someone's entire world for years/decades/life, it's sobering, to say the least.

Can I survive in prison? Depends on what you mean by survival.

by Loose Stools 2014-05-07, 21:11

gHost Spartan wrote:Me, absolutely I think I could survive prison. Interestingly, I had this conversation with several attorneys recently. OP mentioned Shawshank. Well, there's a lot of truth to the fact that Andy survived because he was skilled and smart. If I went to prison, I'd offer legal services to inmates and do a bunch of appellate work in exchange for protection. I would really emphasize that I'm an attorney and willing to provide legal services immediately upon imprisonment. So yeah, I think I'd have a decent shot - and I'd focus a lot on child custody, dissolution, criminal cases, everything.

The old saying by inmates, "the lawyer f**ked me" might take on new meaning. A prison guard once told me, if a man is in prison at least five years, he's had sex with another prisoner. Just sayin'

by Jor El 2014-05-07, 21:13

I'm not a large man. Probably get passed around like joint at a phish concert.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-05-07, 21:14

Loose Stools wrote:My first post, here (thanks to Pantry), anyway. I've spent time in prison. Really, I have. I work for the State and have had occasions where I must go into prisons. They are relatively clean, seemingly in order, fairly quiet--but they are soul-suckingly depressing. When you walk through a prison yard and think that this 100 yard square (give or take) chunk of land is someone's entire world for years/decades/life, it's sobering, to say the least.

Can I survive in prison? Depends on what you mean by survival.

Now you're sounding like Red.
Could you survive prison? 4113017228

But, if you want to survive, just tell them your screen name from here. It seems strikingly appropriate for prison.

by **Other Teams Pursuing That** 2014-05-07, 21:43

probably not, honestly

by **tGreenWay** 2014-05-08, 01:42

goodbar wrote:**** yeah. I'd get everyone hooked on my jenkem and then I'd be like the bootleg night-soil huffing version of Al Capone during prohibition.

You're a baaaad man!

by Throwback702 2014-05-08, 02:21

The only person here that would actually thrive in prison is Nucky. Ghost is resourceful but he drives too slow and lies too much. Styles would survive but it takes a loose one to really make it work. Enter N. Thompson.

by **pulling69** 2014-05-08, 02:27

"I discovered something even better than conjugal visit sex. Fugitive sex!"

signed

Could you survive prison? Hqdefault

by **Ass Dan** 2014-05-08, 05:35

Turtleneck wrote:What about one of those "country club" prisons where you get to play tennis as punishment for securities fraud? Are those even real?

Yes they are real.

by **Ass Dan** 2014-05-08, 05:35

StylesGShmooth wrote:

This could be the best video on the internet

by **DWags** 2014-05-08, 06:34

My opinion is that not one of the guys reading this behind a computer right now could survive. You'd be some guys wife, 6 hours after you got there.

by **Ass Dan** 2014-05-08, 07:03

DWags wrote:My opinion is that not one of the guys reading this behind a computer right now could survive. You'd be some guys wife, 6 hours after you got there.

I'd rather die. I watched Oz, all six seasons. That makes me an expert on this stuff.

The only way to survive is to be the biggest piece of shit in the prison. I'd probably have to join the aryan brotherhood or something, just to avoid butt rape. There'd be a lot of manufactured hate for minorities, but I'll take it over being penetrated and wearing lipstick daily for a significant portion of my life.

by Bad Moon Rison 2014-05-08, 07:34

I would never wipe my ass. Be walking around with my ass covered in shit. Nobody wants to get up in a shitty asshole. Then I would file my teeth real sharp like a fucking vampire. Nobody stickin there jank in there!

No, my answer is definitely no.

by ROtown Sparty 2014-05-08, 08:20

I'm way too pretty for prison, my ass hole would be the size of AM wood's ex wife's vagina.

by **The_Dude** 2014-05-08, 09:04

Yup. Kill the biggest black dude on the first day.

by **Ass Dan** 2014-05-08, 09:14

The_Dude wrote:Yup. Kill the biggest black dude on the first day.

That's the quickest way to ensure that you'll get murdered.

by LoneWolfSparty 2014-05-08, 09:45

tGreenWay wrote:The Shawshank Redemption was on a couple of weeks ago, and it got me thinking if I could handle any time in a modern day prison. The short answer is probably not. Considering all of the elements inside those walls, with gangs, rape, whatever, I'd probably wind up taking myself out.

Not only would I survive, I'd thrive. Oh and I'd make you my b----.

by **goodbar** 2014-05-08, 09:49

gHost Spartan wrote:

We should make Fleece Johnson an honorary member of The Swill

Hell yeah, we want as many Waw-yers up here as possible! Specially ones that got no shame in they game!

by Guest 2014-05-08, 09:49

gHost Spartan wrote:Me, absolutely I think I could survive prison. Interestingly, I had this conversation with several attorneys recently. OP mentioned Shawshank. Well, there's a lot of truth to the fact that Andy survived because he was skilled and smart. If I went to prison, I'd offer legal services to inmates and do a bunch of appellate work in exchange for protection. I would really emphasize that I'm an attorney and willing to provide legal services immediately upon imprisonment. So yeah, I think I'd have a decent shot - and I'd focus a lot on child custody, dissolution, criminal cases, everything.

Oh, you'd the prize pig.

by Pervis Muldoon 2014-05-08, 09:56

I have no doubt that I could survive prison because my personal theme song is "I will survive," by the wonderful Gloria Gaynor. I would sing it loudly wherever I went, and the guards and inmates would know I cannot be broken.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-05-08, 13:28

LoneWolfSparty wrote:

Not only would I survive, I'd thrive. Oh and I'd make you my b----.

You sure do have a purty mouth.

by Poopersc00per 2014-05-08, 15:42

gHost Spartan wrote:Me, absolutely I think I could survive prison. Interestingly, I had this conversation with several attorneys recently. OP mentioned Shawshank. Well, there's a lot of truth to the fact that Andy survived because he was skilled and smart. If I went to prison, I'd offer legal services to inmates and do a bunch of appellate work in exchange for protection. I would really emphasize that I'm an attorney and willing to provide legal services immediately upon imprisonment. So yeah, I think I'd have a decent shot - and I'd focus a lot on child custody, dissolution, criminal cases, everything.

You'd probably be disbarred if you went to prison

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