Salsa recipes

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:47 pm

Ok. I know you're gonna tell me yours is better. Please try to make this before you crow about it.

Here's what you need:

About 6 roma tomatoes
Tomatillos (you want the volume of the romas:tomatillos to be about 2.5:1 or 3:1)
About 1/4 of a big ass red onion
A couple of small garlic cloves (or one big one)
2-4 serrano peppers (depending on how much heat you like)
1/2 - 1 orange habanero (depending on how much heat you like - these fuckers are scorching)
1 lime
Salt

Grill all of it, but the lime and the salt. Get it black. Get it hot as fuck, to the point where you will be able to smash it without a blender. (note I made a bigger batch than called for in recipe above. My romas were giant so had to adjust a bit)

Salsa recipes 28431759056_a3251c3a4d_c

mortar and pestle that shit once it's hot and ready (like little caesars). Or make do with plastic utensils/bowls. It's all good.

Salsa recipes 27847923033_689b1cef7d_c

Add juice of lime. Add about 1 tbsp of salt. Or less or more. (I like salt). Stir.

Pour in blender. Do a better job than I did.

Salsa recipes 28359261192_da1f2f9f32_c

Pulse. Just 2-3x. Don't want it too thin.

Pour in bowl/pitcher. Chill for a few hours. Mix. Eat. Fall in love.

by **tTy** Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:52 pm

Why the fuck wouldn't you put this over charcoal, you dick?

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:58 pm

tTy wrote:Why the fuck wouldn't you put this over charcoal, you dick?

You know the answer, why even ask.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:59 pm

But that is a great idea if I'm ever feeling ambitious.

by **Nordic** Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:59 pm

Here is my recipe...

Step 1: Go to Chipolte
Step 2: Ask for the hot sauce on the side
Step 3: Pour half on steak salad, store the rest in the fridge
Step 4: Enjoy

by **Travis of the Cosmos** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:01 am

I got a mango salsa recipe that's pretty good if you're interested. I use it over salmon. I know it might not be what you're looking for so I don't want to go nuts posting shit and you be like "lol fuck no"

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:03 am

Mango salsa is not necessarily my thing Trav but post away. Others might be into it.

by **tTy** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:12 am

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:I got a mango salsa recipe that's pretty good if you're interested. I use it over salmon. I know it might not be what you're looking for so I don't want to go nuts posting shit and you be like "lol fuck no"

Post it please. If I ever get a shot at getting out feishin this year, it might be my last chance to catch a decent king for a long while....

by **tTy** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:14 am

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:
tTy wrote:Why the fuck wouldn't you put this over charcoal, you dick?

You know the answer, why even ask.

WUHL!!!! You don't have to use your mobile pig smoker to do it, yo.... All's I'm sayin is put it over coals, rather than propane. No chunk wood or nothing...

Speaking of, have you ever put a whole pig on that bitch?

by **DWags** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:17 am

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Ok. I know you're gonna tell me yours is better. Please try to make this before you crow about it.

Here's what you need:

About 6 roma tomatoes
Tomatillos (you want the volume of the romas:tomatillos to be about 2.5:1 or 3:1)
About 1/4 of a big ass red onion
A couple of small garlic cloves (or one big one)
2-4 serrano peppers (depending on how much heat you like)
1/2 - 1 orange habanero (depending on how much heat you like - these fuckers are scorching)
1 lime
Salt

Grill all of it, but the lime and the salt. Get it black. Get it hot as fuck, to the point where you will be able to smash it without a blender. (note I made a bigger batch than called for in recipe above. My romas were giant so had to adjust a bit)

mortar and pestle that shit once it's hot and ready (like little caesars). Or make do with plastic utensils/bowls. It's all good.

Add juice of lime. Add about 1 tbsp of salt. Or less or more. (I like salt). Stir.

Pour in blender. Do a better job than I did.

Pulse. Just 2-3x. Don't want it too thin.

Pour in bowl/pitcher. Chill for a few hours. Mix. Eat. Fall in love.

I'm going to do my best on that tomorrow.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:22 am

DWags wrote:

I'm going to do my best on that tomorrow.

Wags - go to Nino's for your ingredients. They have the best tomatillos in my experience.

by **DWags** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:25 am

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:
DWags wrote:

I'm going to do my best on that tomorrow.

Wags - go to Nino's for your ingredients. They have the best tomatillos in my experience.

Hall road yeah. My Nino's on Harper in st clar shores is getting not so great. I'll go to hall. Thx

by **tTy** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:26 am

WBH is leaving out a key ingredient of his recipe, WAGS. It doesn't matter where the fuck you go, but if you follow the recipe he wrote out here it will taste like shit unless you know the trick. Just sayin. I can help....

by **DWags** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:28 am

tTy wrote:WBH is leaving out a key ingredient of his recipe, WAGS. It doesn't matter where the fuck you go, but if you follow the recipe he wrote out here it will taste like shit unless you know the trick. Just sayin. I can help....

Charcoal?

by **tTy** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:36 am

Nope....

by **DWags** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:37 am

Last guess. White wine.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:41 am

love only as an emotional ingredient. Definitely not a physical one.

by **tTy** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:42 am

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:love only as an emotional ingredient. Definitely not a physical one.

First time I've ever agreed with you on your "No. White. Sauce. Ever." stance.

by **tTy** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:50 am

OK, so, joking aside. I'm definitely going to try this shit when I get home this weekend.

Sidebar, I went to the "authentic" Mexican store in TC a couple weeks ago to pick up some habanero for canning asparagus and that place fucking sucked. All the peppers were fucking shit. Wilty, and some were moldy. I was kinda fucking pissed. I had to pick through a half a bucket or so of them just to find a pound that a 'Merican would find acceptable. Redic.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:58 am

tTy wrote:OK, so, joking aside. I'm definitely going to try this shit when I get home this weekend.

Sidebar, I went to the "authentic" Mexican store in TC a couple weeks ago to pick up some habanero for canning asparagus and that place fucking sucked. All the peppers were fucking shit. Wilty, and some were moldy. I was kinda fucking pissed. I had to pick through a half a bucket or so of them just to find a pound that a 'Merican would find acceptable. Redic.

Honestly dude I would bet Meijer would have better peppers than some knockoff Mexican joint in TC. Don't you guys have a high end grocer? Hell I bet Cherry St Mkt in Kalkatucky has nice peppers.

You should try this. I made a batch and had it in the fridge last weekend but not sure if we busted it out before you passed out.

by **tTy** Fri Jul 22, 2016 1:06 am

I only went to this place because I knew I as canning a shitload of asperagus and I wanted to make it hot as fucking fuck and wanted to check out their peppers. Then I got there and everything was written in Chinese, they had a couple "fresh" peppers and everything else was dried and packaged and I didn't know if I was looking at peppers or dried and crushed donkey placenta or some shit. So I opted for the wilty habeneros because I had the kids in tow and I wanted to get it done.

I'll just go to Meijer and grab a bunch of peppers and shit. I'm good. Stupid Mexican Chinese motherfuckers anyway..... They should be picking the vegetables, not selling them. I get that now. Thanks for helping me clear that all up.

by **tTy** Fri Jul 22, 2016 1:12 am

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:
tTy wrote:OK, so, joking aside. I'm definitely going to try this shit when I get home this weekend.

Sidebar, I went to the "authentic" Mexican store in TC a couple weeks ago to pick up some habanero for canning asparagus and that place fucking sucked. All the peppers were fucking shit. Wilty, and some were moldy. I was kinda fucking pissed. I had to pick through a half a bucket or so of them just to find a pound that a 'Merican would find acceptable. Redic.

Honestly dude I would bet Meijer would have better peppers than some knockoff Mexican joint in TC. Don't you guys have a high end grocer? Hell I bet Cherry St Mkt in Kalkatucky has nice peppers.

You should try this. I made a batch and had it in the fridge last weekend but not sure if we busted it out before you passed out.

wait, re-reading this, yes, I had some. yes, it was fantastic.

How the fuck did I get from the euchre table to on the couch in my sleeping bag with no recollection of that or you carving up a rib roast 12 feet away from me?

I'm guessing #bourbon and 12+ cool ones on the golf course on an empty stomach?

I reneged a shitload of times and took money from your friends by the way. Don't tell them.

by **tTy** Fri Jul 22, 2016 1:14 am

I think I have Tourette's.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Fri Jul 22, 2016 1:25 am

lol, I have no idea. If you recall, I went into the front room for a bit to take a nap and watch the Tigers because The Brain wanted to put on a Romantic Comedy while you guys were playing cards. But I got a second wind. It is the best wind.

by **tTy** Fri Jul 22, 2016 1:33 am

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:lol, I have no idea. If you recall, I went into the front room for a bit to take a nap and watch the Tigers because The Brain wanted to put on a Romantic Comedy while you guys were playing cards. But I got a second wind. It is the best wind.

No recollection. Who was my euchre partner? I don't even recall that, even he didn't know I was reneging, like it was my job.

Don't tell them, they will never let me play again.

by **tTy** Fri Jul 22, 2016 1:34 am

I still can't believe I got up and went and played golf the next am. lmfao

We got rained out and I stopped at Turtle Creek and fucking went off. Hard.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Fri Jul 22, 2016 1:34 am

tTy wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:lol, I have no idea. If you recall, I went into the front room for a bit to take a nap and watch the Tigers because The Brain wanted to put on a Romantic Comedy while you guys were playing cards. But I got a second wind. It is the best wind.

No recollection. Who was my euchre partner? I don't even recall that, even he didn't know I was reneging, like it was my job.

Don't tell them, they will never let me play again.

I have no idea.

by **tTy** Fri Jul 22, 2016 1:50 am

I'm pretty sure it was Stallone. He's too nice to suspect cheating, and grateful for the wins........ I wouldn't have tried it with any of the others. lmao, thanks for a good weekend again, by the way. Your pals are awesome, and I love cruising over there for shenanigans.....

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Fri Jul 22, 2016 2:09 am

tTy wrote:I'm pretty sure it was Stallone. He's too nice to suspect cheating, and grateful for the wins........ I wouldn't have tried it with any of the others. lmao, thanks for a good weekend again, by the way. Your pals are awesome, and I love cruising over there for shenanigans.....

Ha. If that's who it was....he definitely knew and kept it on the sly. He's a smooth criminal.

Yeah, they're pretty awesome. Except for.....

Well he's a good dude, too. Just on a bit of a different wavelength. But he's family at this point.

by **Travis of the Cosmos** Fri Jul 22, 2016 7:01 am

tTy wrote:
Travis of the Cosmos wrote:I got a mango salsa recipe that's pretty good if you're interested. I use it over salmon. I know it might not be what you're looking for so I don't want to go nuts posting shit and you be like "lol fuck no"

Post it please. If I ever get a shot at getting out feishin this year, it might be my last chance to catch a decent king for a long while....

Will do. Later on today.

by **Watch Out Pylon!** Fri Jul 22, 2016 7:59 am

tTy wrote:Nope....

Also, did you lose the top to your blender?

by **DWags** Fri Jul 22, 2016 7:14 pm

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:
DWags wrote:

I'm going to do my best on that tomorrow.

Wags - go to Nino's for your ingredients. They have the best tomatillos in my experience.

Bought all the ingredients. Hall road Nino's =good shit. Made redskin potato salad tonight. To burnt out to do the salsa. Going to a 50th birthday tomorrow. Question. When I grill the tomatoes and tomatillos you said "black". Seriously? Also, sacrilege to put corn in there?

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Fri Jul 22, 2016 11:27 pm

No, they don't get "black". But the first layer kinda flakes off and burns. You want that shit in your salsa. Scrape it off the grill if need be. You will know when the tomatoes/tomatillos are ready to pull off. They will start leaking and be soft and pliable. They will not be black but they will have some good charring on the outer layers in spots.

Put corn in if you want. I'd ask you to try it first without and then add the corn later if you must but you do you.

by BleacherSwill Fri Jul 22, 2016 11:49 pm

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Ok. I know you're gonna tell me yours is better. Please try to make this before you crow about it.

Here's what you need:

About 6 roma tomatoes
Tomatillos (you want the volume of the romas:tomatillos to be about 2.5:1 or 3:1)
About 1/4 of a big ass red onion
A couple of small garlic cloves (or one big one)
2-4 serrano peppers (depending on how much heat you like)
1/2 - 1 orange habanero (depending on how much heat you like - these fuckers are scorching)
1 lime
Salt

Grill all of it, but the lime and the salt. Get it black. Get it hot as fuck, to the point where you will be able to smash it without a blender. (note I made a bigger batch than called for in recipe above. My romas were giant so had to adjust a bit)

Add juice of lime. Add about 1 tbsp of salt. Or less or more. (I like salt). Stir.

Pour in blender. Do a better job than I did.

Pulse. Just 2-3x. Don't want it too thin.

Pour in bowl/pitcher. Chill for a few hours. Mix. Eat. Fall in love.

You may actually have some redeeming qualities.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** Sat Jul 23, 2016 12:23 am

Fuck off Bleacher Swill!

What are my non redeeming qualities.

Wait. I don't really want you to answer that.

by **The Pantry** Sat Jul 23, 2016 1:01 am

Had been staying away from Ninos during the Rochester/South Blvd construction. Was clean driving through this morning to Discount Tire after discovering a rear tire was almost flat. They found two screws in the same tire. How often does that statistically happen?

Rolled out of DT and got on M-59. Got off at Dequindre not knowing they were re-working that intersection. Hope they have a new plan because the old one was not good.

by Guest Sat Jul 23, 2016 7:33 am

The Pantry wrote:Had been staying away from Ninos during the Rochester/South Blvd construction. Was clean driving through this morning to Discount Tire after discovering a rear tire was almost flat. They found two screws in the same tire. How often does that statistically happen?

Rolled out of DT and got on M-59. Got off at Dequindre not knowing they were re-working that intersection. Hope they have a new plan because the old one was not good.

by **tTy** Sat Jul 23, 2016 11:13 am

The Pantry wrote:Had been staying away from Ninos during the Rochester/South Blvd construction. Was clean driving through this morning to Discount Tire after discovering a rear tire was almost flat. They found two screws in the same tire. How often does that statistically happen?

Rolled out of DT and got on M-59. Got off at Dequindre not knowing they were re-working that intersection. Hope they have a new plan because the old one was not good.

NOT SALSA RELATED, OR NON-REDEEMING QUALITIES OF WBH RELATED, STAY ON TOPIC, DICK!

by **tTy** Sat Jul 23, 2016 11:23 am

OK, fuck it, I'mma do this over charcoal today. If I can manage it, pics and full report to follow, but I'm booked pretty tight today...

by **tTy** Sat Jul 23, 2016 3:36 pm

OK, no pics cuz lazy.

The kids made a grocery list and we hit Meijer and hit the illegal immigrant section of the produce aisle. Thank God they picked all them vegetables for me because just dragging the kids there and back was tiring enough.

Anyway, I took some liberties with the recipe.

6 romas
4 tomillitos
big red onion
3 serrenos
1 jalapeno
2 habeneros
1 large red pepper (I wanted some sweet in there without adding sugar to kill some of the bitter)
6 garlic cloves
lime
salt

I put everything over charcoal, even the lime sliced in half and charred the fuck out of it. I kept 2 serrenos and both habeneros out of the main bowl I was putting all the other fruit in because I wanted to make one mild batch and one hot batch.

I also hit it with a bit of mesquite smoke for a bit just for kicks (after taste test, might hit it a little harder next time).

Anyway, after everything was off the grill, I took the main bulk of the fruit and the hot peppers (in a separate bowl) back into the kitchen, juiced the grilled lime and discarded the shuck, and smashed up the main bowl of ingredients. I ended up with 5 cups of stuff. I poured 3 cups into the blender along with a half of a habenero, added salt and pulsed it a couple times. The next batch, just 2 cups, took the remainder of the hot peppers (2 serrenos and 1.5 habeneros) and mixed that shit up in the blender.

My little girl tried the mild salsa and immediately started crying cuz too spicey. It is not that spicey.... I tried the hot, and it is still not hot enough or me. shrug....

Both batches turned out fantastic.... Taking them to a party tonight and I expect that they won't last very long, they are delish.

Thanks WBH. I look forward to experimenting further with this concoction. More heat, more smoke, this that and etc...

Side note, fucking Meijer in Traverse City has God damn Ghost peppers now. WTF?!?!?!!? Who would buy that shit? Maybe I will.... lol

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