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Contract To Kill Review
by Floyd Robertson 2016-12-09, 15:50
Contract To Kill isn’t just bad—it’s Steven Seagal bad
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Here are some relevant facts about Contract To Kill: It was made in Romania; its cast is composed mostly of Romanians; it takes place in Mexico and Turkey. The Turkish and Mexican locals are played by Romanians, and it’s truly something to see a thin, pasty guy who looks like he was just let go of his cashier position at Mega Image yell, “Move it, gringo!” or “Hey, ese!” at an American sort-of star with a printer-cartridge dye job. Seagal’s character—named John Harmon, though not like that matters—is both a retired DEA agent and a retired CIA agent, and he has been brought back to fight a secret alliance of cartels and terrorists by a CIA handler who is also definitely Romanian. The script is ludicrous; this is a given. The acting is laughable.
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Floyd Robertson- Geronte
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Re: Contract To Kill Review
by WhiteBoyHatcher 2016-12-09, 15:57
Looks awesome. Thanks for posting Floyd. Can't wait.
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Re: Contract To Kill Review
by Floyd Robertson 2016-12-09, 15:58
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Looks awesome. Thanks for posting Floyd. Can't wait.
You're welcome. I wouldn't have known a thing about it if I didn't see @edsbs tweet out the review.
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Watch Out Pylon!- Geronte
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Re: Contract To Kill Review
by WhiteBoyHatcher 2016-12-09, 16:12
I think I will take my kids opening night.
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Re: Contract To Kill Review
by Watch Out Pylon! 2016-12-09, 16:15
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:I think I will take my kids opening night.
It's tonight. I seriously looked up the local theaters to see if it was being shown. Sadly, no.
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Re: Contract To Kill Review
by Other Teams Pursuing That 2016-12-09, 16:24
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Looks awesome. Thanks for posting Floyd. Can't wait.
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Re: Contract To Kill Review
by WhiteBoyHatcher 2016-12-09, 16:45
Just peeped and there's a 9:10 showing at the forum 30. Damn, I have dinner reservations for 8. Might have to tell the wife we're eating popcorn and good & plenty's instead.
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