Opinions on family vacation with your ex

I’ve seen this more often lately. Or maybe I’ve just never noticed. For instance, my sister in law is divorced for like a year in a half. They (her ex husband and three kids) just left for a family vacation to Florida for a week. I don’t get it. They live in the same town, he has a girlfriend, they both show up to holiday events like you’d expect. So why the “family” vacation? To me it makes no sense. When I got divorced my ex mentioned also vacationing in the same town where me and my girlfriend at the time were vacationing with our daughter. I was like, no, not really interested in that. I guess my thinking is if you don’t want to be a family then don’t. I get the holiday and birthday thing but vacationing as a family? Makes no sense to me.

No. My vote.

I don’t have kids, so let me answer as someone who was a child of divorce:
I don’t know.

Sounds really awkward. What if they, like, decide to start boning again?

Floyd Robertson wrote:Sounds really awkward. What if they, like, decide to start boning again?

Gross.

The kids would need to be old enough and mature enough to understand the vacation would only be for fun. I could see how a large percentage of children might think, and by think I mean hope, that the family is getting back together. I’m sure some exes and their kids could handle it, but they’d be in the steep minority. Way too confusing for most.

Didn't read the post but from the title of the thread I'd say "no".

Seems weird, but maybe some people actually have a truly amicable divorce, where they genuinely remain friends.

MiamiSpartan wrote:Seems weird, but maybe some people actually have a truly amicable divorce, where they genuinely remain friends.

And that’s great. But to the question: no

MiamiSpartan wrote:Seems weird, but maybe some people actually have a truly amicable divorce, where they genuinely remain friends.

But think of the children!

I would love to bone my ex. My wife probably wouldn’t be into it. Also she’d need to take a couple good showers because her current boyfriend (husband?) is disgusting. So probably wouldn’t want to do a vacation with her. I’d just want to bone her.

Rocinante wrote:I would love to bone my ex. My wife probably wouldn’t be into it. Also she’d need to take a couple good showers because her current boyfriend (husband?) is disgusting. So probably wouldn’t want to do a vacation with her. I’d just want to bone her.

I’ve always appreciated your honesty, Roc.

I figure, if all of the adults can deal with the awkwardness, it sets a good example. Kinda cool actually.

If everyone is mature enough, I think that’s a cool thing to be able to do. I would think this wouldn’t be very common.

My girlfriend did something similar, but everyone went on vacation together: girlfriends ex husband and his new wife, her husband, and the kids all together on a vacation . I thought that was cool they could do that. There’s a lot they all hate about each other, but they communicate and co-parent really well.

Dendrobates wrote:If everyone is mature enough, I think that’s a cool thing to be able to do. I would think this wouldn’t be very common.

My girlfriend did something similar, but everyone went on vacation together: girlfriends ex husband and his new wife, her husband, and the kids all together on a vacation . I thought that was cool they could do that. There’s a lot they all hate about each other, but they communicate and co-parent really well.

I get. But I just think it’s weird. You’ve made a decision that you no longer want to function as a family unit as husband and wife in front of the kids but you want to be a family unit on vacation. So obviously you’re doing it for the kids. So why not stay together for the kids? It’s just weird to me.

kingstonlake wrote:

Dendrobates wrote:If everyone is mature enough, I think that’s a cool thing to be able to do. I would think this wouldn’t be very common.

My girlfriend did something similar, but everyone went on vacation together: girlfriends ex husband and his new wife, her husband, and the kids all together on a vacation . I thought that was cool they could do that. There’s a lot they all hate about each other, but they communicate and co-parent really well.

I get. But I just think it’s weird. You’ve made a decision that you no longer want to function as a family unit as husband and wife in front of the kids but you want to be a family unit on vacation. So obviously you’re doing it for the kids. So why not stay together for the kids? It’s just weird to me.

Staying together for the kids is a really bad idea. Kids aren't stupid, they know when their parents hate each other and it makes for a really shitty home life.

I do agree that family vacations are weird.

kingstonlake wrote:

Dendrobates wrote:If everyone is mature enough, I think that’s a cool thing to be able to do. I would think this wouldn’t be very common.

My girlfriend did something similar, but everyone went on vacation together: girlfriends ex husband and his new wife, her husband, and the kids all together on a vacation . I thought that was cool they could do that. There’s a lot they all hate about each other, but they communicate and co-parent really well.

I get. But I just think it’s weird. You’ve made a decision that you no longer want to function as a family unit as husband and wife in front of the kids but you want to be a family unit on vacation. So obviously you’re doing it for the kids. So why not stay together for the kids? It’s just weird to me.

While cool, I do agree it's weird.

But dont kid yourself thinking a vacation together is the same as living everyday together .

Hell, I could probably never do that. Vacations are stressful, and I think i would turn mega bitch in that situation. kudos to those who make it work.

I would liken vacationing with the ex, the kids, and the ex’s new love interest the situation to off roading with poorly packed nitroglycerin.

Might not blow today or tomorrow but when it does, look out.

Depending on the ages of the kids, it would probably confuse the shit out of them.

Hell, even older kids might probably have some sort of meltdown over this.

AvgMSUJoe wrote:Depending on the ages of the kids, it would probably confuse the shit out of them.

Hell, even older kids might probably have some sort of meltdown over this.

Also, this.

take them all to carrabba's

Have in laws where the ex's are still civil and around eachother at holidays. Can't say they'd go vacationing together.

I don't have an ex, but this seems really weird and would be confusing for your kids.

That said, some drunken current wife/ex wife action sounds spicy.