To My Haters Food Poisoning and The Game

So last night I had Thai and this morning I had bagel and coffee. Something about the coffee and the curry did not agree. Was sitting in bed for three hours in agony. I got a can of seltzer had a few sips. Let out a tiny burp that tasted like coffee and dinner. I shot up as fast as I could, made one step towards the bathroom and projectile vomited all over the bed room floor. Made it another three or four steps forward hurled all over the bathroom floor. Made it to the toilet lifted the lid and blew up all over the rim and side of the bowl. Amazingly after that last one I felt like my old self again. I grinned with shit all over my nose and thought I am up!!!! I am up and fuck Michigan. Let’s go motherfuckers this is a great day to exact some revenge on that cocksucker from the Fraud 5.

Should add I’ve spent the last hour cleaning up my own puke. Had to get out the old Electrolux Floor Pro. Great Fuckin product.

Sorry Steve

Fucking Steve.

Sorry man. Hopefully a W against these bastards will help out a bit.

I’m just happy I got it the fuck out. Haven’t puked since the late 00’s.

Go green baby!

I'm assuming you're not dead.

Holy shit steve, that’s horrible!

But maybe this should be your routine for all of us come March.

Hope you’re still on the upswing

So 27 years ago December 23 I had bad dill dip with my soon to be wife. Two days in my apartment we were using the toilet and a garbage can at the same time. Both ends. Wanted to kill myself.

Food poisoning sucks ass.

steveschneider wrote:So last night I had Thai and this morning I had bagel and coffee. Something about the coffee and the curry did not agree. Was sitting in bed for three hours in agony. I got a can of seltzer had a few sips. Let out a tiny burp that tasted like coffee and dinner. I shot up as fast as I could, made one step towards the bathroom and projectile vomited all over the bed room floor. Made it another three or four steps forward hurled all over the bathroom floor. Made it to the toilet lifted the lid and blew up all over the rim and side of the bowl. Amazingly after that last one I felt like my old self again. I grinned with shit all over my nose and thought I am up!!!! I am up and fuck Michigan. Let’s go motherfuckers this is a great day to exact some revenge on that cocksucker from the Fraud 5.

How did you wind up with shit on your nose? Did someone drop a deuce and forget to flush before you ran in and horked into the bowl? Cuz that’s disgusting.

tGreenWay wrote:

steveschneider wrote:So last night I had Thai and this morning I had bagel and coffee. Something about the coffee and the curry did not agree. Was sitting in bed for three hours in agony. I got a can of seltzer had a few sips. Let out a tiny burp that tasted like coffee and dinner. I shot up as fast as I could, made one step towards the bathroom and projectile vomited all over the bed room floor. Made it another three or four steps forward hurled all over the bathroom floor. Made it to the toilet lifted the lid and blew up all over the rim and side of the bowl. Amazingly after that last one I felt like my old self again. I grinned with shit all over my nose and thought I am up!!!! I am up and fuck Michigan. Let’s go motherfuckers this is a great day to exact some revenge on that cocksucker from the Fraud 5.

How did you wind up with shit on your nose? Did someone drop a deuce and forget to flush before you ran in and horked into the bowl? Cuz that’s disgusting.

Kind of rude to ask him about his sex life.

DWags wrote:So 27 years ago December 23 I had bad dill dip with my soon to be wife. Two days in my apartment we were using the toilet and a garbage can at the same time. Both ends. Wanted to kill myself.

Food poisoning sucks ass.

I almost felt like I had something come out of the bottom but kept control. Still feeling weak.

@greenway I puke our my nose and mouth. It’s a fucking mess.

DWags wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:


How did you wind up with shit on your nose? Did someone drop a deuce and forget to flush before you ran in and horked into the bowl? Cuz that’s disgusting.

Kind of rude to ask him about his sex life.

Never would’ve guessed Steve was into fecal play. Seems more like he’d be a toe-sucker.

steveschneider wrote:

DWags wrote:So 27 years ago December 23 I had bad dill dip with my soon to be wife. Two days in my apartment we were using the toilet and a garbage can at the same time. Both ends. Wanted to kill myself.

Food poisoning sucks ass.

I almost felt like I had something come out of the bottom but kept control. Still feeling weak.

@greenway I puke our my nose and mouth. It’s a fucking mess.

Hey, I’m not judging. Whatever gets your motor running.

Back in HS a bunch of us volunteered to be counselors for a 5th grade week-long trip to a camp somewhere north of Lapeer.   2nd night there at least a hundred kids, counselors, and teachers started puking.  Was miserable.  The cabins had puke everywhere.  Number of kids got taken to the hospital.  Spent the night at the main lodge getting little sleep cause I was in the bathroom most of the time with it coming out both ends.

State health department was there the next morning interviewing everyone about what they ate.  Month or so later the cause was revealed to be listeria from grilled cheese (pasteurized) sandwiches.

The Pantry wrote:Back in HS a bunch of us volunteered to be counselors for a 5th grade week-long trip to a camp somewhere north of Lapeer.   2nd night there at least a hundred kids, counselors, and teachers started puking.  Was miserable.  The cabins had puke everywhere.  Number of kids got taken to the hospital.  Spent the night at the main lodge getting little sleep cause I was in the bathroom most of the time with it coming out both ends.

State health department was there the next morning interviewing everyone about what they ate.  Month or so later the cause was revealed to be listeria from g
rilled cheese (pasteurized) sandwiches.

Wow...that’s some awful shit. I can’t imagine dealing with that. Who were the poor bastards that had to clean that up?

steveschneider wrote:

DWags wrote:So 27 years ago December 23 I had bad dill dip with my soon to be wife. Two days in my apartment we were using the toilet and a garbage can at the same time. Both ends. Wanted to kill myself.

Food poisoning sucks ass.

I almost felt like I had something come out of the bottom but kept control. Still feeling weak.

@greenway I puke our my nose and mouth. It’s a fucking mess.

Vomiting our your nose and mouth is the worst. Some lucky people never experience that. Especially blowing chunks out your nose for a day and a half is not pleasant.
I would only wish for that on some UM players/fans

Dendrobates wrote:

The Pantry wrote:Back in HS a bunch of us volunteered to be counselors for a 5th grade week-long trip to a camp somewhere north of Lapeer.   2nd night there at least a hundred kids, counselors, and teachers started puking.  Was miserable.  The cabins had puke everywhere.  Number of kids got taken to the hospital.  Spent the night at the main lodge getting little sleep cause I was in the bathroom most of the time with it coming out both ends.

State health department was there the next morning interviewing everyone about what they ate.  Month or so later the cause was revealed to be listeria from g
rilled cheese (pasteurized) sandwiches.

Wow...that’s some awful shit. I can’t imagine dealing with that. Who were the poor bastards that had to clean that up?

That night, it was everyone that didn't have the grilled cheese.  They must have brought in reinforcements the next day because the trip wasn't canceled.  School district sent two buses there and took the sickest home, including me. Was feeling better the next day and my dad drove me back for the last afternoon/evening and following day.

Twice had food poisoning in school. One time was from tuna. Had no idea until we were on the road, heading for West Lafayette, going about 35 mph in heavy fog. Miserable drive. I was at the wheel, so I pulled over to puke every so often. Slept and puked the next 24 hours, was doubled over in pain when I went to a pharmacy trying to figure out why. Pharmacist said I was dehydrated. Felt like gold a little while after that. Never going back to Purdue. Terrible town, anyway.
Other time was from chicken. Started feeling awful Friday afternoon, so I stayed in bed. Next door neighbor woman who enjoyed friends with benefits before the term was coined came over that night and I rallied. Small bathroom on the third floor was two seater, four feet apart. Spent the rest of the weekend in there, using both toilets for the north- and southbound expresses.

I’m sure I’ve had FP since then, but thankfully nothing so freaking horrible as during undergrad.

Hope you're feeling better, Steve. Are you sure it was food or did you get a glimpse of an Enos offense?

Turtleneck wrote:Hope you're feeling better, Steve. Are you sure it was food or did you get a glimpse of an Enos offense?

I’m feeling better, too. Thanks for asking.

tGreenWay wrote:

Turtleneck wrote:Hope you're feeling better, Steve. Are you sure it was food or did you get a glimpse of an Enos offense?

I’m feeling better, too. Thanks for asking.

This thread is about Steve, GreenWay. It is ok if there is an occasional thread not about you.

Turtleneck wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:

I’m feeling better, too. Thanks for asking.

This thread is about Steve, GreenWay. It is ok if there is an occasional thread not about you.

Nice try. That’s not in my contract.

tGreenWay wrote:Twice had food poisoning in school. One time was from tuna. Had no idea until we were on the road, heading for West Lafayette, going about 35 mph in heavy fog. Miserable drive. I was at the wheel, so I pulled over to puke every so often. Slept and puked the next 24 hours, was doubled over in pain when I went to a pharmacy trying to figure out why. Pharmacist said I was dehydrated. Felt like gold a little while after that. Never going back to Purdue. Terrible town, anyway.
Other time was from chicken. Started feeling awful Friday afternoon, so I stayed in bed. Next door neighbor woman who enjoyed friends with benefits before the term was coined came over that night and I rallied. Small bathroom on the third floor was two seater, four feet apart. Spent the rest of the weekend in there, using both toilets for the north- and southbound expresses.

I’m sure I’ve had FP since then, but thankfully nothing so freaking horrible as during undergrad.

I’m trying to look at the brighter side of life. The good thing about my food poisoning tonight was I cracked open a Vernors I brought back from Michigan. I rarely drink soda, but tonight was an exception. Still has a lot of bubbles.

Turtleneck wrote:Hope you're feeling better, Steve. Are you sure it was food or did you get a glimpse of an Enos offense?

Come to think of it there was a catalyst that set off the vomiting.

I was laying there nauseous and I thought ‘boy it’s a good thing The Mike Valenti Show isn't on right now so I don’t have to listen to him talking about taking a whiff of his ass’. Next thing I know BLECH!

I’ve had food poisoning once almost 20 years ago and wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Afraid you are going to die, then afraid you won’t.

steveschneider wrote:

Turtleneck wrote:Hope you're feeling better, Steve. Are you sure it was food or did you get a glimpse of an Enos offense?

Come to think of it there was a catalyst that set off the vomiting.

I was laying there nauseous and I thought ‘boy it’s a good thing The Mike Valenti Show isn't on right now so I don’t have to listen to him talking about taking a whiff of his ass’. Next thing I know BLECH!

You really do spend an unusual amount of time thinking about Valenti’s ass.

tGreenWay wrote:

steveschneider wrote:

Come to think of it there was a catalyst that set off the vomiting.

I was laying there nauseous and I thought ‘boy it’s a good thing The Mike Valenti Show isn't on right now so I don’t have to listen to him talking about taking a whiff of his ass’. Next thing I know BLECH!

You really do spend an unusual amount of time thinking about Valenti’s ass.

It seems to haunt him. He mentions it quite a lot.

Pepto Bismol and weed do wonders to settle a stomach, but sometimes the only way out is through and you just gotta puke through it.

Cameron wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:

You really do spend an unusual amount of time thinking about Valenti’s ass.

It seems to haunt him. He mentions it quite a lot.

Pepto Bismol and weed do wonders to settle a stomach, but sometimes the only way out is through and you just gotta puke through it.

Seems that way. I’m down to the diarrhea part of all this. Definitely taking some stomach pills to try to calm things down in there.