Company-mandated self-evaluations

Have to do the company-mandated self-evaluation performance thing before thinking about doing my taxes. Gawd, I hate these things. They basically ask you to respond to the same thing worded in 5-6 different ways. The fucker that wrote the shit evaluation form should be FIRED for lack of anything better to do.

Goals? Have a few productivity goals that would create more efficiency in my department but they depend on upper management approval, which will not happen due to objections/laziness from other departments. Fuck goals.

InTenSity wrote:I have to do this. I basically just said that I did great at everything. Replacing me is possible, but difficult.

Our evaluation form wants you to cite specifics. Pisses me off. So many things flowing through the workplace can hardly remember what I worked on last week.

I have to create three smart goals by the end of the month. It’s pure bullshit. Honestly don’t even put that much thought into this type of crap anymore. I just put down whatever think they want to hear.

I hate having to answer questions in my fairly large company about what I’d like my next role to be.

Fuck off, I have no idea. The job I’m in now is a one person gig, it’s not a department. The previous person left and I took it as I fit fairly well and it turns out I was right, I’m good at it. But 4 years ago would I have said this was what I wanted to do next? Hell no. It wasn’t realistic to say “I’m going to sit around until this other person leaves then take their job.” So what’s next? I don’t know. Do you have a beat on who above me is leaving next? Probably not. So I don’t know either.

Yeah, fuck work...

Corporate life sounds like a lot of fun.

The Pantry wrote:Have to do the company-mandated self-evaluation performance thing before thinking about doing my taxes. Gawd, I hate these things. They basically ask you to respond to the same thing worded in 5-6 different ways. The fucker that wrote the shit evaluation form should be FIRED for lack of anything better to do.

Goals? Have a few productivity goals that would create more efficiency in my department but they depend on upper management approval, which will not happen due to objections/laziness from other departments. Fuck goals.

It’s weird that your employer makes you do the self-evaluation before allowing you to do your taxes. Like, super weird.

Just remember the only thing worse than having to write these is the person that has to read them. No one wants to participate in this crap. Just fill the box up with some fluff, hand it in and get on with your job.

tGreenWay wrote:Corporate life sounds like a lot of fun.

It’s not that bad. The money and stability are huge perks. And even my post; what’s lost in it is that the next opportunity will come up. What exactly it is or when it’ll happen is unknowable, and it’s stupid for them to even bother pretending it’s a question I should know the answer to. But still, it will happen.

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:Corporate life sounds like a lot of fun.

It’s not that bad. The money and stability are huge perks. And even my post; what’s lost in it is that the next opportunity will come up. What exactly it is or when it’ll happen is unknowable, and it’s stupid for them to even bother pretending it’s a question I should know the answer to. But still, it will happen.

Then here’s what you want to write: My greatest asset is also my biggest flaw: I care too much.

Always thought self-evals were developed for lazy managers who want to have limited interaction with employees and have employees provide them with reasons to make cuts or changes.

As a manufacturer rep we had a few companies' sales managers try to have their regional managers have the rep agency principals and selected sales people fill them out. We did it twice and in both cases our agency was either #1 or #2 nationally and there was little chance they would make a change or cut our territory.

tGreenWay's answer about caring and caring too much is a great way of using the company's eff ups on them.

Like "We know customer service is paramount and I end up taking too much time trying to smooth over upset customers (or people up and down the chain of your business) when something goes wrong (fill in the blank of some department screws up or late delivery etc) that can be frustrating."

steveschneider wrote:Just remember the only thing worse than having to write these is the person that has to read them. No one wants to participate in this crap. Just fill the box up with some fluff, hand it in and get on with your job.

For once, you are dead-on.

I swear the only reason they make everyone do it is so they can justify firing the ones that need to be fired.

AvgMSUJoe wrote:I swear the only reason they make everyone do it is so they can justify firing the ones that need to be fired.

That, and maybe cause for reflection if considering asking for a raise in pay. Glad I got that shit out of the way before HR dropped the bomb.

On one of our calls about our smart goals this year this lady offered to pay out of pocket for some kind of class. Fucking idiot.

Nothing more cringeworthy than witnessing a butt kisser smooching a managers ass.

Had a quote to turn into today so went to my manager's office to review. He was pissed, but not at me. Our self-evaluations are done online through our payroll company and are due tomorrow. He has to do one also. Said he'd just spent 2 hours writing very detailed responses, then got a phone call. His laptop went into sleep mode while on the phone. When he fired it back up, his 2 hours of writing were gone because the payroll website timed out and he hadn't saved anything. Good thing I was wearing a mask so he couldn't see my grin.

Yup, I have to do them every year.
Corporate makes everyone do these. You have to list many specific examples, and half the time repeat yourself. Hate it. It takes me a whole day to complete them.

We pretty much get real time indicators of our performance in my industry so we are not required to do evaluations. However, we are required to do projections and our performance against those projections is what we are measured by.

Motown Spartan wrote:We pretty much get real time indicators of our performance in my industry so we are not required to do evaluations. However, we are required to do projections and our performance against those projections is what we are measured by.

Translation: Motown’s boss screams You suck! at him on the reg.

Not sure why they require evaluations on a yearly basis. Once every 2 or 3 years makes more sense to me. Do HR departments get extra credit for doing them yearly?

The Pantry wrote:Not sure why they require evaluations on a yearly basis. Once every 2 or 3 years makes more sense to me. Do HR departments get extra credit for doing them yearly?

No but they do have to justify why they need so many FTE in their department so

tGreenWay wrote:

Motown Spartan wrote:We pretty much get real time indicators of our performance in my industry so we are not required to do evaluations. However, we are required to do projections and our performance against those projections is what we are measured by.

Translation: Motown’s boss screams You suck! at him on the reg.

Considering I am my own boss...you’re not wrong.

I think we should have to do annual reviews of our Swill activity and create actions plans for the future.