Who gets stuck in a window seat next to a quadriplegic??

Two thumbs towards chest.

On the first leg of a connector, no less. Think about the logistical challenges that presents, for you seasoned travelers out there. Wow, that was awkward.

Flew on a small 2 prop commuter from Bristol Conn to LaGuardia where a 350# guy caused all of us to have to switch seats. He was on one side with 3 women who were less than 125 and 7 of us were on the other side.

Had an 80 something old guy sitting on the opposite aisle on a flight from O'Hare to LA who died in his sleep sometime after takeoff. We got an unscheduled stop to land in Denver and he was de-planed.

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Two thumbs towards chest.

On the first leg of a connector, no less. Think about the logistical challenges that presents, for you seasoned travelers out there. Wow, that was awkward.

He wouldn't fit in the overhead?

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Two thumbs towards chest.

On the first leg of a connector, no less. Think about the logistical challenges that presents, for you seasoned travelers out there. Wow, that was awkward.

Did you stand up and stretch, look over and the guy and say "I bet you wish you could do that?"

Well. this was a week + ago, so let me see if I can remember how the whole thing went down.

First off, they were very nice people. It was a guy (aisle) and his wife (middle), and they could not have been nicer. So don't think I am disparaging him. It was just one of those Seinfeld-esque situations that seem to only happen to you type of deals and thus I found a little bit of perverse humor in the awkwardness.

We were in row 5 of coach, standard row. Yeah, sorry I'm not travel elite and don't have enough points yet to be bumped up. I get to my row and see the guy and he's not getting up to let me in. As you know in a standard row there is literally no room between someone's knees and the seat in front of them. So it's not like I could even squeeze between his knees and the seats. I quickly figured out something was going on and his wife told me "He can't move". And of course I have a shit ton of people behind me trying to board. And I have my carry on and a laptop bag. The only place for my carry on bag was maybe a row or two back, but I got it in. I decided the only way to get into my seat was to step completely OVER the guy, but there was no room on the floor in the middle seat, either, because they had some kind of device for his scooter there. So the wife works with me and she gets up on the seat in a crouching position leaving a corner of the seat for my foot. So I use the headrests of the rows 4 and 6 to stabilize myself (sorry!) and hurdle this handicapped dude with one big step and then the other leg and now the wife and I are both standing on the middle seat for a second. Only then could I get to my seat and sit down.

And I immediately started thinking about the landing/deplaning. How in the hell was that going to work? Obviously these folks were going to be the last ones off the plane. And no way was I going to be able to seat hurdle with all of the panic stricken, impatient, aisle crowding as soon as the plane comes to a stop folks making their push for the door. So I was just going to have to wait. That was fine. We were flying into CLT, and my connection for Detroit was like an hour and fifteen later. No problem.

Flight lands on time, and they ask me how I want to proceed. Wife says she can stand on the chair again, etc. I say no, that's cool, I've got time, I'll just wait. I didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable or create another debacle. Plus my bag was two rows back.

Well, I'm watching out my window (driver's side) and I can see the jetway is not connecting. Up and down, back and forth, out and in. It's not connecting. They come on over the speaker and tell us that the jetway won't connect and they can't open the door. Obviously.

Then I see a guy drive up with a welder attached to his cart. Obviously.

I don't know what happened, but about 45 - an hour later they got the damn thing attached and door opened. And now my buffer time has been eaten up and I've got to find a way out. The couple realizes this and we wait for about half the plane to deplane and then there is a bit of a break, so we go for it. She gets back up on the chair. I throw my laptop bag across the aisle to the now empty seat in 5D. I step from the floor over the guy and onto the 5D seat across the aisle, practically knocking his glasses off with my elbow (sorry!). I let the angry heathens that I held up for 30 precious seconds pass, ask some dude in the aisle near row 7 if he can get my roller bag down. He looks annoyed but does. I say goodbye to the couple and I'm off.

Of course the gate is in another terminal, literally the last gate in that terminal. I made it, but not with a lot of time to spare.

Only me.

Was it this guy?

Damn. I would hope you wouldn't need to deplane in a hurry. What did they tell that guy to do in the event of a water landing?

Chitown_Badger wrote:Damn. I would hope you wouldn't need to deplane in a hurry. What did they tell that guy to do in the event of a water landing?

That's the thing. How else could they handle that situation? They can't put him in an exit row. Bulkhead row? I guess, but then he/wife have to put the stuff they need in the overhead. And I was thinking they should have put him in the window seat, but how does he get there? Push all the armrests up, and someone tries to slide him over like a fucking mannequin? SMH. Just awkwardness all around.

I say tie him up on a dolly Hannibal Lecter style and throw him in the corner of the galley. Ez on and off for him and everyone wins.

Chitown_Badger wrote:Damn. I would hope you wouldn't need to deplane in a hurry. What did they tell that guy to do in the event of a water landing?

He just screams "go go gadget lifeboat!!"

and slowly sinks into the cold blackness....

make him wear a jacket with a handle on it and throw him in with the luggage. the wife can just wait at the turnstile to pick him up.

AMwood wrote:make him wear a jacket with a handle on it and throw him in with the luggage. the wife can just wait at the turnstile to pick him up.

I hate to step in here, but was turnstile the word you were looking for there? Was he going to Bangkok?

Cym Jim wrote:
I hate to step in here, but was turnstile the word you were looking for there? Was he going to Bangkok?

woopsie daisy.

Just had the fat guy scenario on overnight flight from LA to Miami, fat guy in the middle on exit row, his fat went over the arm rest. It was not a good flight, but he was a super nice guy, so I felt bad for wishing for his death.

Mentalstate wrote:Just had the fat guy scenario on overnight flight from LA to Miami, fat guy in the middle on exit row, his fat went over the arm rest. It was not a good flight, but he was a super nice guy, so I felt bad for wishing for his death.

if he's that fat it's probably not too far down the road. don't blame yourself.

Chitown_Badger wrote:Damn. I would hope you wouldn't need to deplane in a hurry. What did they tell that guy to do in the event of a water landing?

sink

I went to see a quadriplegic juggler last night.

He wasn't very good. Kept dropping the quadriplegics...