Helped neighbor cut some tree branches down

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2015-07-24, 20:33

I live on a cul-del-sac. One of the trees had a fairly big branch fall off. My next door neighbor with a chainsaw is out of town, and I have an electric reciprocating saw, so I took care of it.

While I was out there working, one of the other neighbors a few houses down came by and asked if I could help her. She said that her apple tree had some branches that were dead and they were pretty big and wondered if I could help her. I said sure thing and I brought over my clippers or loppers or whatever those things are called, as well. I cut down some decently sized branches for her and helped her trim the bigger ones, and let her borrow the loppers so that she could finish cutting all of the smaller sized branches and put them into a lawn bag.

During conversation, I casually mentioned that the wife and kids were out of town. So....fast forward a few hours, and she is returning the clippers. She brings over a bottle of wine as a 'thank you' for helping her.

Do you think she wanted to sex me? I told her it was no problem and said it wasn't necessary, etc but ultimately accepted. After casual conversation I ended it and shut the door. Did I blow an opportunity here? And sorry, no pics.

by **Floyd Robertson** 2015-07-24, 20:37

Is she single? If she needs any more pruning I'm not that far away.

Yeah, she probably wanted you and now she's at home crying.

by Rod Porkmore 2015-07-24, 20:39

You should've whipped your penis out and just said, "whaddya think?"

by **The Pantry** 2015-07-24, 20:46

You need to expound on stories with the housekeeper before we can adequately define this new opportunity

by **kingstonlake** 2015-07-24, 20:48

Are you ugly?

by Herbie Green 2015-07-24, 20:50

You messed up. Edit your post to end more like a penthouse forum. I had a huge boner

by Herbie Green 2015-07-24, 20:54

Ok, go over there and say thanks for the wine but I have no one to share it with

by **The Pantry** 2015-07-24, 20:55

btw...it hasn't been windy around here in a couple weeks. What brought the branch down?

Helped neighbor cut some tree branches down Cougar10

by **kingstonlake** 2015-07-24, 20:59

If you honestly made it clear your money siphons were out of town, yeah she wanted the clam hammer.

by Guest 2015-07-24, 22:43

Yes. She wanted you to prune her branches. You failed her, now she hates you.

by **Turtleneck** 2015-07-24, 23:10

When you decide to stop playing with your dart by yourself, you should walk down to her place and see if you can hit her bullseye.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2015-07-25, 00:20

kingstonlake wrote:Are you ugly?

I think I'm ok. I don't know how to judge myself. I'm maybe a 6? 6.5?

I don't know what brought the branch down, honestly. I thought maybe a storm hit overnight after I fell asleep one night this week.

by HT 2015-07-25, 00:32

You should have invited her in and gotten more out of it. Don't do anything with her if you really love your wife and kids, but I don't know, I was kind of hoping that she made a legit move at you or she started making out and then stripped down once she got in your house and you had to turn her down.

A little disappointed.

by **Rocinante** 2015-07-25, 00:36

Love has nothing to do with a good bang.

by **pulling69** 2015-07-25, 00:46

Yeah...worst case you get some hot pics of her that you could have shared with us. Epic ass fail on your part.

by **CORNER BLITZ** 2015-07-25, 00:48

kingstonlake wrote:Are you ugly?

Is she ugly?

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2015-07-25, 01:01

CORNER BLITZ wrote:
kingstonlake wrote:Are you ugly?

Is she ugly?

She's a petite blonde. Maybe 5'2, 110 max.

by **tGreenWay** 2015-07-25, 01:03

Is she in EL? I'll hurry over and trim her bush.

by **Turtleneck** 2015-07-25, 01:12

How would the story have ended if gHost was the OP? The least we can do is write our own gHost-style endings.

by **tGreenWay** 2015-07-25, 01:15

Turtleneck wrote:How would the story have ended if gHost was the OP? The least we can do is write our own gHost-style endings.

It would've ended with a pic of his Jeep™ tilted at a perilous angle, or cats having sex on his front lawn.

by **Turtleneck** 2015-07-25, 01:18

Is the Jeep on an angle or is the pic sideways?

by **tGreenWay** 2015-07-25, 01:22

Turtleneck wrote:Is the Jeep on an angle or is the pic sideways?

Yes.

by **The Pantry** 2015-07-25, 02:08

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:
CORNER BLITZ wrote:

Is she ugly?

She's a petite blonde. Maybe 5'2, 110 max.

You spun off a spinner?

by **tTy** 2015-07-25, 03:28

How come this hasn't hit tater-mail yet?

by **kingstonlake** 2015-07-25, 06:11

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:
CORNER BLITZ wrote:

Is she ugly?

She's a petite blonde. Maybe 5'2, 110 max.

Dude!

by **steveschneider** 2015-07-25, 09:28

Great story.

My .02 yes she wanted some action and sounds like a trouble maker. Avoid at all costs.

by **Ass Dan** 2015-07-25, 09:47

Yeah she wanted your dick.

by **Floyd Robertson** 2015-07-25, 09:56

steveschneider wrote:Great story.

My .02 yes she wanted some action and sounds like a trouble maker. Avoid at all costs.

Good advice for a married guy who wants to stay that way.

by **DWags** 2015-07-25, 10:27

steveschneider wrote:Great story.

My .02 yes she wanted some action and sounds like a trouble maker. Avoid at all costs.

Yeah, neighbors and co-workers are off limits always. Well, not always, but be advised it could lead to shit in your life that makes you uncomfortable.

by **tGreenWay** 2015-07-25, 10:29

Dear Penthouse Forum,
I never thought this could happen to me...

by Masturbates 2015-07-25, 10:32

Good for you honestly... Nothing more low down than a man that cheats on his wife and kids.

by **GRR Spartan** 2015-07-25, 11:11

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:I live on a cul-del-sac. One of the trees had a fairly big branch fall off. My next door neighbor with a chainsaw is out of town, and I have an electric reciprocating saw, so I took care of it.

While I was out there working, one of the other neighbors a few houses down came by and asked if I could help her. She said that her apple tree had some branches that were dead and they were pretty big and wondered if I could help her. I said sure thing and I brought over my clippers or loppers or whatever those things are called, as well. I cut down some decently sized branches for her and helped her trim the bigger ones, and let her borrow the loppers so that she could finish cutting all of the smaller sized branches and put them into a lawn bag.

During conversation, I casually mentioned that the wife and kids were out of town. So....fast forward a few hours, and she is returning the clippers. She brings over a bottle of wine as a 'thank you' for helping her.

Do you think she wanted to sex me? I told her it was no problem and said it wasn't necessary, etc but ultimately accepted. After casual conversation I ended it and shut the door. Did I blow an opportunity here? And sorry, no pics.

DWags got it right. You did the right thing. You may not think much about helping her but there were multiple sets of eyes on both of you and those eyes aren't moving next week.

by **The Pantry** 2015-07-25, 14:40

Not that it matters, but is she married?

by **Rocinante** 2015-07-25, 14:46

Masturbates wrote:Good for you honestly... Nothing more low down than a man that cheats on his wife and kids.

Hey man, sometimes the best thing you can do FOR your wife and kids is to get some strange on the side. Puts your mind right so you're not all up in your own ass. She'll love you more if you're more laid back.

by **Giant Moose** 2015-07-25, 15:40

Based on what you post, your wife is gone a lot. Are you sure you are still married?

by **kingstonlake** 2015-07-25, 15:50

The shits gonna hit the fan when the trouble maker talks about the wine she bought you to your wife. I'd start a cover up trail. That always ends well.

by **tGreenWay** 2015-07-25, 16:33

Giant Moose wrote:Based on what you post, your wife is gone a lot. Are you sure you are still married?

In a week he's going to finally pick up his huge pile of dirty clothes, and he's going to find a note from his wife dated a couple of months ago telling him the marriage is over. That's when he should call the troublemaker up and offer to open that bottle of wine.

by **steveschneider** 2015-07-25, 17:30

kingstonlake wrote:The shits gonna hit the fan when the trouble maker talks about the wine she bought you to your wife. I'd start a cover up trail. That always ends well.

I'd just be transparent about it. He hasn't done anything yet, and if he covers it up it becomes worse than it is.

My .02 on affairs and this is only from a guy that has stepped out on gf's, the temptation is the best part. However, if pursued the second after whoopee it's awkward from that second on and if you try to sustain it you are living a lie. It takes its toll.

Also, I'm going to assume the neighbor is married and anytime a lady is stepping out on her man it's because they are unhappy about something with her current situation. She doesn't even know WBH, but she's projecting something on him thinking he can fill some need that is lacking in her life. Her husband may just gamble, sit around watching sports and she sees WBH as a proactive guy that gets shit done out in the yard. Ha! Whatever is the case, he's entering a situation with a person that's emotionally volatile and if a dude thinks he can have something on the DL with no strings attached that's a person thinking with the wrong head. Also, the proximity to his house???? - it's a tired old cliche but don't shit where you eat.

by **Rocinante** 2015-07-25, 19:03

steveschneider wrote:
kingstonlake wrote:The shits gonna hit the fan when the trouble maker talks about the wine she bought you to your wife. I'd start a cover up trail. That always ends well.

I'd just be transparent about it. He hasn't done anything yet, and if he covers it up it becomes worse than it is.

My .02 on affairs and this is only from a guy that has stepped out on gf's, the temptation is the best part. However, if pursued the second after whoopee it's awkward from that second on and if you try to sustain it you are living a lie. It takes its toll.

Also, I'm going to assume the neighbor is married and anytime a lady is stepping out on her man it's because they are unhappy about something with her current situation. She doesn't even know WBH, but she's projecting something on him thinking he can fill some need that is lacking in her life. Her husband may just gamble, sit around watching sports and she sees WBH as a proactive guy that gets shit done out in the yard. Ha! Whatever is the case, he's entering a situation with a person that's emotionally volatile and if a dude thinks he can have something on the DL with no strings attached that's a person thinking with the wrong head. Also, the proximity to his house???? - it's a tired old cliche but don't shit where you eat.

Armchair psychology is the best psychology.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2015-07-25, 19:27

The Pantry wrote:Not that it matters, but is she married?

Yes, she is. But he works late.

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