Helped neighbor cut some tree branches down

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:Marriage seems pretty overrated, and difficult. Not sure why it's so desired in society.

Because being single is a pain in the ass. I would love to find a nice girl and be done with the dating scene for good.

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:Marriage seems pretty overrated, and difficult. Not sure why it's so desired in society.

Marriage isn't for everyone, and maybe it will never be for you. But the reason it is coveted is because there is nothing better than falling in love with someone who also loves you unconditionally.

Obviously it doesn't work out for everybody, but for those that it does work out for, they wouldn't trade it for the world.

But I have a wife who gives me sex, blowjobs, food, a clean house, etc., so maybe my perspective is skewed.

Wally Fairway wrote:No pictures - on some boards there would be a neg repathon for such a thing

also - what is tater-mail and how do I sign up

thread potential - 8.5
thread delivers - 2.5

oh well the OT season is almost over, so we will soon get actual football threads

If you want pictures, I'm not sure you read the fine print. I think the thread delivered exactly what I hoped it would.

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:

Wally Fairway wrote:No pictures - on some boards there would be a neg repathon for such a thing

also - what is tater-mail and how do I sign up

thread potential - 8.5
thread delivers - 2.5

oh well the OT season is almost over, so we will soon get actual football threads

If you want pictures, I'm not sure you read the fine print. I think the thread delivered exactly what I hoped it would.

This board is not all about you.

WBH is probably just thrilled he actually interacted with a woman (albeit a 70-year-old married woman) for the first time in ages since his wife is always gone.

Giant Moose wrote:(albeit a 70-year-old married woman)

When you get older, does a GILF become what a MILF is to a younger man?

If only SparTodd weren't dead we could ask him.

But there's a caveat. The partner has to be on the same page. Trust and communication are probably the two most important things in making a marriage work in my opinion. You don't fuck with either of those things. If your partner is not ok with you boinking other people, you don't boink other people and betray their trust. If you aren't sexually satisfied by your partner, that should be communicated so that you can work together on a solution that doesn't betray their trust. If you can't come to a solution that is agreeable to both parties that you can live with it may be time to end the partnership.

Which is why I said "If you were certain to not be caught..." Who does it hurt to have sex with other partners even if your spouse wouldn't approve, if she never knows? I want specifics, because when I hear stuff like "betray trust" and "lowlifes and scumbags" what I am hearing is the talk of the effects of infidelity revealed to the spouse. How is trust betrayed if she never knows? Further, how is the desire any different than the act in a situation where you're not upfront about your desire to sleep with another partner? If you knew your thoughts of infidelity would be revealed to your spouse, could you stop yourself from thinking them?

Simplified: Why is sex with partners other than your spouse "bad" if your spouse never knows?

I suspect something about respect will be the answer. I have often noted that sexually frustrated people are much less respectful to their spouses than sexually fulfilled people. Not only that, but I have also noted (anecdotally, admitted) that people who are getting sexual satisfaction in multiple arenas are more attentive sexually to their primary partner when that partner expresses interest.

And yes, maybe it is simply a communication thing. But could we get over our baser animal instincts to be comfortable with the knowledge of multiple sexual partners on both sides of a relationship? Would we WANT to know? Especially when the relationship might be better with the outlet of sexual satisfaction outside the marriage?

I'm just musing.

Rocinante wrote:

But there's a caveat. The partner has to be on the same page. Trust and communication are probably the two most important things in making a marriage work in my opinion. You don't fuck with either of those things. If your partner is not ok with you boinking other people, you don't boink other people and betray their trust. If you aren't sexually satisfied by your partner, that should be communicated so that you can work together on a solution that doesn't betray their trust. If you can't come to a solution that is agreeable to both parties that you can live with it may be time to end the partnership.

Which is why I said "If you were certain to not be caught..." Who does it hurt to have sex with other partners even if your spouse wouldn't approve, if she never knows? I want specifics, because when I hear stuff like "betray trust" and "lowlifes and scumbags" what I am hearing is the talk of the effects of infidelity revealed to the spouse. How is trust betrayed if she never knows? Further, how is the desire any different than the act in a situation where you're not upfront about your desire to sleep with another partner? If you knew your thoughts of infidelity would be revealed to your spouse, could you stop yourself from thinking them?

Simplified: Why is sex with partners other than your spouse "bad" if your spouse never knows?

I suspect something about respect will be the answer. I have often noted that sexually frustrated people are much less respectful to their spouses than sexually fulfilled people. Not only that, but I have also noted (anecdotally, admitted) that people who are getting sexual satisfaction in multiple arenas are more attentive sexually to their primary partner when that partner expresses interest.

And yes, maybe it is simply a communication thing. But could we get over our baser animal instincts to be comfortable with the knowledge of multiple sexual partners on both sides of a relationship? Would we WANT to know? Especially when the relationship might be better with the outlet of sexual satisfaction outside the marriage?

I'm just musing.

Interesting, it's like the old philosophical question if the tree falls in the woods does it make a sound.

Rocinante wrote:

But there's a caveat. The partner has to be on the same page. Trust and communication are probably the two most important things in making a marriage work in my opinion. You don't fuck with either of those things. If your partner is not ok with you boinking other people, you don't boink other people and betray their trust. If you aren't sexually satisfied by your partner, that should be communicated so that you can work together on a solution that doesn't betray their trust. If you can't come to a solution that is agreeable to both parties that you can live with it may be time to end the partnership.

Which is why I said "If you were certain to not be caught..."  Who does it hurt to have sex with other partners even if your spouse wouldn't approve, if she never knows?  I want specifics, because when I hear stuff like "betray trust" and "lowlifes and scumbags"  what I am hearing is the talk of the effects of infidelity revealed to the spouse.  How is trust betrayed if she never knows?  Further, how is the desire any different than the act in a situation where you're not upfront about your desire to sleep with another partner?  If you knew your thoughts of infidelity would be revealed to your spouse, could you stop yourself from thinking them?  

Simplified:  Why is sex with partners other than your spouse "bad" if your spouse never knows?

I suspect something about respect will be the answer.  I have often noted that sexually frustrated people are much less respectful to their spouses than sexually fulfilled people.  Not only that, but I have also noted (anecdotally, admitted) that people who are getting sexual satisfaction in multiple arenas are more attentive sexually to their primary partner when that partner expresses interest.

And yes, maybe it is simply a communication thing.  But could we get over our baser animal instincts to be comfortable with the knowledge of multiple sexual partners on both sides of a relationship?  Would we WANT to know?  Especially when the relationship might be better with the outlet of sexual satisfaction outside the marriage?  

I'm just musing.

Respect is a good answer. 

I would also say guilt. I would know that it's something that would hurt her if she knew. That would make me feel shitty. It would hurt me if she were hitting BBCs on the side without my knowledge so I would assume she would be similarly hurt. 

If your philosophical question is why would it hurt....I don't know how to answer that. I guess because most people are not robots and/or sociopaths.

HT wrote:

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:Marriage seems pretty overrated, and difficult. Not sure why it's so desired in society.

Because being single is a pain in the ass. I would love to find a nice girl and be done with the dating scene for good.

Back to trcmb with that attitude. Be married and sleep in to 1 pm once....go ahead and try it

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:

Rocinante wrote:

Which is why I said "If you were certain to not be caught..."  Who does it hurt to have sex with other partners even if your spouse wouldn't approve, if she never knows?  I want specifics, because when I hear stuff like "betray trust" and "lowlifes and scumbags"  what I am hearing is the talk of the effects of infidelity revealed to the spouse.  How is trust betrayed if she never knows?  Further, how is the desire any different than the act in a situation where you're not upfront about your desire to sleep with another partner?  If you knew your thoughts of infidelity would be revealed to your spouse, could you stop yourself from thinking them?  

Simplified:  Why is sex with partners other than your spouse "bad" if your spouse never knows?

I suspect something about respect will be the answer.  I have often noted that sexually frustrated people are much less respectful to their spouses than sexually fulfilled people.  Not only that, but I have also noted (anecdotally, admitted) that people who are getting sexual satisfaction in multiple arenas are more attentive sexually to their primary partner when that partner expresses interest.

And yes, maybe it is simply a communication thing.  But could we get over our baser animal instincts to be comfortable with the knowledge of multiple sexual partners on both sides of a relationship?  Would we WANT to know?  Especially when the relationship might be better with the outlet of sexual satisfaction outside the marriage?  

I'm just musing.

Respect is a good answer. 

I would also say guilt. I would know that it's something that would hurt her if she knew. That would make me feel shitty. It would hurt me if she were hitting BBCs on the side without my knowledge so I would assume she would be similarly hurt. 

If your philosophical question is why would it hurt....I don't know how to answer that. I guess because most people are not robots and/or sociopaths.

Respect can be expressed in many ways. Being a dick to your wife because you're frustrated about not being able to explore your sexuality is disrespectful - and most people don't even realize they're doing it. It doesn't mean you don't admire your wife for all she does. It doesn't mean you don't love her. Maybe it just means you are a sexual being with desires that the marriage can't fulfill. Is it less disrespectful to be bored with your wife and show that through indifference or hostility than it is to have sex with other women and as a result be nicer, more attentive and a better husband - and she never knows? What's disrespectful about doing something she'd never know about? Doesn't someone have to feel disrespected for the disrespect to have occurred?

Rocinante wrote:

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:
Respect is a good answer. 

I would also say guilt. I would know that it's something that would hurt her if she knew. That would make me feel shitty. It would hurt me if she were hitting BBCs on the side without my knowledge so I would assume she would be similarly hurt. 

If your philosophical question is why would it hurt....I don't know how to answer that. I guess because most people are not robots and/or sociopaths.

Respect can be expressed in many ways. Being a dick to your wife because you're frustrated about not being able to explore your sexuality is disrespectful - and most people don't even realize they're doing it. It doesn't mean you don't admire your wife for all she does. It doesn't mean you don't love her. Maybe it just means you are a sexual being with desires that the marriage can't fulfill. Is it less disrespectful to be bored with your wife and show that through indifference or hostility than it is to have sex with other women and as a result be nicer, more attentive and a better husband - and she never knows? What's disrespectful about doing something she'd never know about? Doesn't someone have to feel disrespected for the disrespect to have occurred?

I suppose that's an interesting question, but in your scenario I would question whether getting married was disrespectful in the first place if a person had these desires to begin with. Maybe that person should have married someone with similar desires, like a swinger. However, people change over time yada yada yada.

Out of curiosity, are you married?

Ummmm... I WAS, but the dissolution of that marriage was not related to infidelity.

I feel that a normal person will at some point (probably more than once) be sufficiently attracted to someone other than their spouse to actually consider acting on it. Maybe that's related to the "routine" factor that infects most marriages at some point and could be dealt with with proper relationship maintenance. I don't know.

Rocinante wrote:Ummmm... I WAS, but the dissolution of that marriage was not related to infidelity.

I feel that a normal person will at some point (probably more than once) be sufficiently attracted to someone other than their spouse to actually consider acting on it. Maybe that's related to the "routine" factor that infects most marriages at some point and could be dealt with with proper relationship maintenance. I don't know.

Me neither. Marriage is different for everyone. Probably has to do with magnets. Fuckin magnets man.

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:I think he legitimately works late. I have seen him leaving during the middle of the day to go to work. He is a bit older though.

What could possibly go wrong?