How do I get rid of this human?

So, this jackass wakes me up every morning with his jet ski, and always comes straight for me and my family. My family and I live on a secluded island, well out of the way of other humans. For whatever reason, this guy attacked me with his jet ski and bat while I was enjoying the nice weather. He kept screaming at me, saying he would "kill me". I'm a little worried. Can anyone help me out here?

Stupid fucking schtick will be vaporized.

CrazySparty, you wanted more sports content and this is your solution?

go straight for his vag next time he gets near you

SeeRockCity wrote:CrazySparty, you wanted more sports content and this is your solution?

I've contributed to the sports discussion! Feel free to delete though.

Heat Miser wrote:Stupid fucking schtick will be vaporized.

Wait, so people can't create schticks here?

RCMB level response.

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:
Wait, so people can't create schticks here?

RCMB level response.

Thought the same thing.

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:

Heat Miser wrote:Stupid fucking schtick will be vaporized.

Wait, so people can't create schticks here?

RCMB level response.

Read the forum rules. Schticks are "allowed" but they better by fucking good. Dumb shit gets   

Really, most of you people don't have what it takes to be a good schtick. Neither do I...which is why I don't fucking schtick. How about you all try concentrating on making your own posts worth a shit first.

Heat Miser wrote:

Read the forum rules. Schticks are "allowed" but they better by fucking good. Dumb shit gets   

Really, most of you people don't have what it takes to be a good schtick. Neither do I...which is why I don't fucking schtick. How about you all try concentrating on making your own posts worth a shit first.

Immediate citing of "forum rules". Another RCMB go-to.

Heat Miser wrote:

Read the forum rules. Schticks are "allowed" but they better by fucking good. Dumb shit gets   

Really, most of you people don't have what it takes to be a good schtick. Neither do I...which is why I don't fucking schtick. How about you all try concentrating on making your own posts worth a shit first.

It wasn't that great but I chuckled at it for a second.... Who gets to decide what a great schtick is? You? Why? Personally, I think the Bolley thing was played. Obviously most don't agree. 

I see your rules, that you guys created without input from the rest of us. I thought the golden rule was that it can't violate forumotion's rules? Clearly this doesn't.

CrazySparty wrote:

Heat Miser wrote:

Read the forum rules. Schticks are "allowed" but they better by fucking good. Dumb shit gets   

Really, most of you people don't have what it takes to be a good schtick. Neither do I...which is why I don't fucking schtick. How about you all try concentrating on making your own posts worth a shit first.

Immediate citing of "forum rules". Another RCMB go-to.

In the upper left corner of the browser window you see the word "Forumotion". Click on that and you'll be taken to a place where you can create your own forum for free, just like this one. If you decide to do that, please feel free to post as many advertisements for your new forum as you like (within reason of course) on this board. You may also feel free to user the PM system to recruit new members.

CrazySparty wrote:

Heat Miser wrote:

Read the forum rules. Schticks are "allowed" but they better by fucking good. Dumb shit gets   

Really, most of you people don't have what it takes to be a good schtick. Neither do I...which is why I don't fucking schtick. How about you all try concentrating on making your own posts worth a shit first.

Immediate citing of "forum rules". Another RCMB go-to.

So what?

SeeRockCity wrote:

In the upper left corner of the browser window you see the word "Forumotion".  Click on that and you'll be taken to a place where you can create your own forum for free, just like this one.  If you decide to do that, please feel free to post as many advertisements for your new forum as you like (within reason of course) on this board.  You may also feel free to user the PM system to recruit new members.

See Travis' latest post.

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:

Heat Miser wrote:

Read the forum rules. Schticks are "allowed" but they better by fucking good. Dumb shit gets   

Really, most of you people don't have what it takes to be a good schtick. Neither do I...which is why I don't fucking schtick. How about you all try concentrating on making your own posts worth a shit first.

It wasn't that great but I chuckled at it for a second.... Who gets to decide what a great schtick is? You? Why? Personally, I think the Bolley thing was played. Obviously most don't agree. 

I see your rules, that you guys created without input from the rest of us. I thought the golden rule was that it can't violate forumotion's rules? Clearly this doesn't.

Handling schticks is at the discretion of the sitting Operations Ephor since monitoring and managing them is a technical issue. If you don't like the way schticks are being dealt with, you will be able to vote in a new Ephor in a couple years. You can also vote in another Board Steward (my job) who may decide that Schticks are really the jurisdiction of the Gerousia.

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:

Heat Miser wrote:

Read the forum rules. Schticks are "allowed" but they better by fucking good. Dumb shit gets   

Really, most of you people don't have what it takes to be a good schtick. Neither do I...which is why I don't fucking schtick. How about you all try concentrating on making your own posts worth a shit first.

It wasn't that great but I chuckled at it for a second.... Who gets to decide what a great schtick is? You? Why? Personally, I think the Bolley thing was played. Obviously most don't agree. 

I see your rules, that you guys created without input from the rest of us. I thought the golden rule was that it can't violate forumotion's rules? Clearly this doesn't.

I would also add that Heat Miser is generally a pretty reasonable dude.  If you were able to gain groundswell support for a change in the Schtick policy, I'm pretty sure he'd listen to all arguments.

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:

Heat Miser wrote:

Read the forum rules. Schticks are "allowed" but they better by fucking good. Dumb shit gets   

Really, most of you people don't have what it takes to be a good schtick. Neither do I...which is why I don't fucking schtick. How about you all try concentrating on making your own posts worth a shit first.

It wasn't that great but I chuckled at it for a second.... Who gets to decide what a great schtick is? You? Why? Personally, I think the Bolley thing was played. Obviously most don't agree. 

I see your rules, that you guys created without input from the rest of us. I thought the golden rule was that it can't violate forumotion's rules? Clearly this doesn't.

No. The golden rules are:

1. You will not be banned unless you violate the provider terms.
2. You will not be censored unless you violate the provider terms.

And yes...I get to decide...because this place ain't gonna turn into tRCMB2.0 with a handful of fucking morons posting dumb shit from their 38 different schtick accounts.

Trolls get confined to the petting zoo. Lame schticks get vaporized. You'll get over it.

SeeRockCity wrote:

Handling schticks is at the discretion of the sitting  Operations Ephor since monitoring and managing them is a technical issue.  If you don't like the way schticks are being dealt with, you will be able to vote in a new Ephor in a couple years.  You can also vote in another Board Steward (my job) who may decide that Schticks are really the jurisdiction of the Gerousia.  

A proper schtick requires timing and not over doing it. If he started posting every day with stupid angry swan stuff then sure, get rid of it. But you have to give them a minute to see where they go with it. Otherwise Snake II's response will always be "stupid fucking schtick I'm vaporizing it" after 1 post. Which is totally the wrong way to handle it, especially since you are preaching that this board is supposed to be relatively free of over reaching rules.

Heat Miser wrote:

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:

Heat Miser wrote:

Read the forum rules. Schticks are "allowed" but they better by fucking good. Dumb shit gets   

Really, most of you people don't have what it takes to be a good schtick. Neither do I...which is why I don't fucking schtick. How about you all try concentrating on making your own posts worth a shit first.

It wasn't that great but I chuckled at it for a second.... Who gets to decide what a great schtick is? You? Why? Personally, I think the Bolley thing was played. Obviously most don't agree. 

I see your rules, that you guys created without input from the rest of us. I thought the golden rule was that it can't violate forumotion's rules? Clearly this doesn't.

No. The golden rules are:

1. You will not be banned unless you violate the provider terms.
2. You will not be censored unless you violate the provider terms.

And yes...I get to decide...because this place ain't gonna turn into tRCMB2.0 with a handful of fucking morons posting dumb shit from their 38 different schtick accounts.

Trolls get confined to the petting zoo. Lame schticks get vaporized. You'll get over it.

Okay, well, he does have a pretty strong opinion regarding schticks.  

Heat Miser wrote:

No. The golden rules are:

1. You will not be banned unless you violate the provider terms.
2. You will not be censored unless you violate the provider terms.

And yes...I get to decide...because this place ain't gonna turn into tRCMB2.0 with a handful of fucking morons posting dumb shit from their 38 different schtick accounts.

Trolls get confined to the petting zoo. Lame schticks get vaporized. You'll get over it.

You can't tell what is lame after 1 post. You should have let the thread play out. Waiting until tomorrow wouldn't have made a difference in your day.

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:

SeeRockCity wrote:

Handling schticks is at the discretion of the sitting  Operations Ephor since monitoring and managing them is a technical issue.  If you don't like the way schticks are being dealt with, you will be able to vote in a new Ephor in a couple years.  You can also vote in another Board Steward (my job) who may decide that Schticks are really the jurisdiction of the Gerousia.  

A proper schtick requires timing and not over doing it. If he started posting every day with stupid angry swan stuff then sure, get rid of it. But you have to give them a minute to see where they go with it. Otherwise Snake II's response will always be "stupid fucking schtick I'm vaporizing it" after 1 post. Which is totally the wrong way to handle it, especially since you are preaching that this board is supposed to be relatively free of over reaching rules.

You do make some valid points.  I would suggest starting a poll tomorrow and see what the general consensus is.  At the end of the day, it's Heat's call, but as I said, he's a pretty reasonable dude.

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:
You can't tell what is lame after 1 post. You should have let the thread play out. Waiting until tomorrow wouldn't have made a difference in your day.

Snake completely disagrees with you, Travis. Nice standards here.

CrazySparty wrote:

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:
You can't tell what is lame after 1 post. You should have let the thread play out. Waiting until tomorrow wouldn't have made a difference in your day.

Snake completely disagrees with you, Travis. Nice standards here.

  If this were the other board and Heat Miser was really Snake, you'd be banned now.

(no offense Snake - How's Hawaii?!)

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:

Heat Miser wrote:

No. The golden rules are:

1. You will not be banned unless you violate the provider terms.
2. You will not be censored unless you violate the provider terms.

And yes...I get to decide...because this place ain't gonna turn into tRCMB2.0 with a handful of fucking morons posting dumb shit from their 38 different schtick accounts.

Trolls get confined to the petting zoo. Lame schticks get vaporized. You'll get over it.

You can't tell what is lame after 1 post. You should have let the thread play out. Waiting until tomorrow wouldn't have made a difference in your day.

That particular brand of schtick has been played dozens of times on tRCMB...and it almost always sucks. And what kind of life expectancy does the "Angry Swan" account have after tTroll's troll thread dies in a day or so? None. A good schtick is not thread dependent.

You don't even need a schtick to play the angle for fucksake. All CrazySparty had to do was start a thread saying something like "Laughing my ass off watching a swan attack some dumbfuck & his mother on a jet ski in the lake in my backyard".

Again...most people here should concentrate on making their own posts not suck.

One of the worst things about Schticks is when people who create them think they are clever, or original.

It's also pathetic when people create schticks to have conversations with their other schticks, or when they create a schtick with a singular point of view in order to attack targets they have and try to dictate conversations in threads.

Heat Miser wrote:

That particular brand of schtick has been played dozens of times on tRCMB...and it almost always sucks. And what kind of life expectancy does the "Angry Swan" account have after tTroll's troll thread dies in a day or so? None. A good schtick is not thread dependent.

You don't even need a schtick to play the angle for fucksake. All CrazySparty had to do was start a thread saying something like "Laughing my ass off watching a swan attack some dumbfuck & his mother on a jet ski in the lake in my backyard".

Again...most people here should concentrate on making their own posts not suck.

And yet Brodson's goose and horse had their moments among a long line of shitty Brodson schticks. Look, you aren't in the business of making people post less while this board is in its infancy... And, again, most people's posts suck? Who are you to say that? I would say a majority are pretty good with a handful sucking. 

Sorry kiddo, but you are showing super mod tendencies and if the proletariate doesn't stand up to you and point it out, you might get out of control.

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:
And yet Brodson's goose and horse had their moments among a long line of shitty Brodson schticks. Look, you aren't in the business of making people post less while this board is in its infancy... And, again, most people's posts suck? Who are you to say that? I would say a majority are pretty good with a handful sucking. 

Sorry kiddo, but you are showing super mod tendencies and if the proletariate doesn't stand up to you and point it out, you might get out of control.

  

Btw, I have neve posted under a different account. I should probably point that out. I just dont think the course of action here was correct.

SeeRockCity wrote:

In the upper left corner of the browser window you see the word "Forumotion".  Click on that and you'll be taken to a place where you can create your own forum for free, just like this one.  If you decide to do that, please feel free to post as many advertisements for your new forum as you like (within reason of course) on this board.  You may also feel free to user the PM system to recruit new members.

Very Trevor-esque response.

The policy has been consistent since day one.

And I didn't say most people's posts suck, though I can see how you might read it that way.

Bizarro Fletch wrote:

SeeRockCity wrote:

In the upper left corner of the browser window you see the word "Forumotion".  Click on that and you'll be taken to a place where you can create your own forum for free, just like this one.  If you decide to do that, please feel free to post as many advertisements for your new forum as you like (within reason of course) on this board.  You may also feel free to user the PM system to recruit new members.

Very Trevor-esque response.

Except no-one was banned, censored, or spent any money.

 

Bizarro Fletch wrote:

SeeRockCity wrote:

In the upper left corner of the browser window you see the word "Forumotion".  Click on that and you'll be taken to a place where you can create your own forum for free, just like this one.  If you decide to do that, please feel free to post as many advertisements for your new forum as you like (within reason of course) on this board.  You may also feel free to user the PM system to recruit new members.

Very Trevor-esque response.

I am SHOCKED that you have jumped into the middle of this.

In any case, Trevor had a successful message board for 15 years so I'll take that as a compliment.

P.S. - Your "wells" schtick is a good example of what Heat Miser is talking about.

SpartyHard wrote: 

I'd say what turned out to be a fairly innocent schtick has turned out to be rather revealing, at least for one of the "mods"...

CrazySparty wrote:

SpartyHard wrote: 

I'd say what turned out to be a fairly innocent schtick has turned out to be rather revealing, at least for one of the "mods"...

I am rooting for a BTP. Let the games begin!

I've been waiting all day for a goose schtick to show up in response(sorry, Loose, no disrespect). Yeah, this wasn't anybody's A-game, but at least somebody tried, and it was still better than that weak-titted Wells Today.

Heat Miser wrote:

Read the forum rules. Schticks are "allowed" but they better by fucking good. Dumb shit gets   

Really, most of you people don't have what it takes to be a good schtick. Neither do I...which is why I don't fucking schtick. How about you all try concentrating on making your own posts worth a shit first.

Lighten up Francis. All of a sudden someone gives you a badge and you are some kind of Internet badass? God, let it play out and let some people have some fun around here- that's what this place is for. Quit being a prick.

Danny Tanner wrote:

Heat Miser wrote:

Read the forum rules. Schticks are "allowed" but they better by fucking good. Dumb shit gets   

Really, most of you people don't have what it takes to be a good schtick. Neither do I...which is why I don't fucking schtick. How about you all try concentrating on making your own posts worth a shit first.

Lighten up Francis. All of a sudden someone gives you a badge and you are some kind of Internet badass? God, let it play out and let some people have some fun around here- that's what this place is for. Quit being a prick.

No "fun" can be had here without lame schticks?   

SeeRockCity wrote:

Bizarro Fletch wrote:

SeeRockCity wrote:

In the upper left corner of the browser window you see the word "Forumotion".  Click on that and you'll be taken to a place where you can create your own forum for free, just like this one.  If you decide to do that, please feel free to post as many advertisements for your new forum as you like (within reason of course) on this board.  You may also feel free to user the PM system to recruit new members.

Very Trevor-esque response.

I am SHOCKED that you have jumped into the middle of this.

In any case, Trevor had a successful message board for 15 years so I'll take that as a compliment.

P.S. - Your "wells" schtick is a good example of what Heat Miser is talking about.

Thanks for pointing that one out. I wouldn't plan on it surviving very long. I guess that's the schtick that posts things fletch doesn't have the balls to say himself?

I don't get schticks. Just be funny in your own voice.