Your toilet paper is failing you: Join me in celebrating the cleanliness of booty wipes.

Been saying this for years. It doesn't matter how clean you think your TP gets you, it's not enough. If you can't shower after you poop, then booty wipes are easily the next best thing. Your hairy cheeks deserve the very best.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/toilet-paper-stop-use-wet-wipes-doctor-health-problems-bidets-a8028906.html

You're destroying the sewers GreenWay. The "flushable" wipes label is a load of shit, and there's a big stink about it in the courts.

Flushable wipes, my ass

Take this shit to court

This will not be post of the year.

what are you a lobbyist for the flushable wipe industry? Shut the fuck up.

It fucks up the sewers and pipes because they don’t dissolve. It’s actually getting to be a real problem.

Why can’t the US just adapt to bidets?

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:what are you a lobbyist for the flushable wipe industry? Shut the fuck up.

he's like the Chewlie's gum representative.

#NoBidetNoWay

Dendrobates wrote:It fucks up the sewers and pipes because they don’t dissolve. It’s actually getting to be a real problem.

Why can’t the US just adapt to bidets?

Just use your off hand and then wash your hands real good afterward.

Greenway is full of crap.

TheReal_LWS wrote:Greenway is full of crap.

Creative and imaginative. Simply amazing.

Yumpin' Yiminy, how many times are we going to have this discussion? As I have said from the moment I first began advocating for the booty wipe over conventional TP, you don't flush them, you simply wrap it in a small amount of, well, okay, TP, and toss it in the trash. So TP does serve one small purpose, but that purpose is not cleaning your ass.

Hygiene wipes >>>>>>>>>>>> TP

Dendrobates wrote:It fucks up the sewers and pipes because they don’t dissolve. It’s actually getting to be a real problem.

Why can’t the US just adapt to bidets?

I'm not using a public bidet. You know how much of other people's poo would be left behind (pun intended) from those who don't know how to use it? Plus, drying can be a pain and that really chafes my balls. Literally.

I've never used a bidet in my life. It's like a drinking fountain for your ass? That sounds weird to me. But I have a shitload (ptp) of baby wipes leftover from the kids that I could try out. Not sure I'll like it though. I think I'd rather just stick to Quilted Northern extra soft for now.

y2kMgrad wrote:I've never used a bidet in my life. It's like a drinking fountain for your ass? That sounds weird to me. But I have a shitload (ptp) of baby wipes leftover from the kids that I could try out. Not sure I'll like it though. I think I'd rather just stick to Quilted Northern extra soft for now.

You smell like poop.

Will you wipe my ass greenway?

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:Will you wipe my ass greenway?

You're a special case, OTPT. Instead of wipes or a bidet, you're going to need a garden hose and a power washer. Maybe even one of those water cannons used by police and military for crowd control. Bend over and I'll hit you up. Wait, what?

tGreenWay wrote:Yumpin' Yiminy, how many times are we going to have this discussion? As I have said from the moment I first began advocating for the booty wipe over conventional TP, you don't flush them, you simply wrap it in a small amount of, well, okay, TP, and toss it in the trash. So TP does serve one small purpose, but that purpose is not cleaning your ass.

Hygiene wipes >>>>>>>>>>>> TP

Sorry that I assumed that you were talking about flushable wipes as opposed to you leaving the shit covered wipes festering in your trash can.

Tell me, GW, does the shit smell permeate the whole house, or only the immediate area around the bathrooms?

nm

MiamiSpartan wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:Yumpin' Yiminy, how many times are we going to have this discussion? As I have said from the moment I first began advocating for the booty wipe over conventional TP, you don't flush them, you simply wrap it in a small amount of, well, okay, TP, and toss it in the trash. So TP does serve one small purpose, but that purpose is not cleaning your ass.

Hygiene wipes >>>>>>>>>>>> TP

Sorry that I assumed that you were talking about flushable wipes as opposed to you leaving the shit covered wipes festering in your trash can.

Tell me, GW, does the shit smell permeate the whole house, or only the immediate area around the bathrooms?

MiamiSpartan wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:Yumpin' Yiminy, how many times are we going to have this discussion? As I have said from the moment I first began advocating for the booty wipe over conventional TP, you don't flush them, you simply wrap it in a small amount of, well, okay, TP, and toss it in the trash. So TP does serve one small purpose, but that purpose is not cleaning your ass.

Hygiene wipes >>>>>>>>>>>> TP

Sorry that I assumed that you were talking about flushable wipes as opposed to you leaving the shit covered wipes festering in your trash can.

Tell me, GW, does the shit smell permeate the whole house, or only the immediate area around the bathrooms?

If your wipes are coated in shit, I'd recommend a substantial change in your diet.

tGreenWay wrote:

MiamiSpartan wrote:
Sorry that I assumed that you were talking about flushable wipes as opposed to you leaving the shit covered wipes festering in your trash can.

Tell me, GW, does the shit smell permeate the whole house, or only the immediate area around the bathrooms?

If your wipes are coated in shit, I'd recommend a substantial change in your diet.

tGW makes a good point. If you don't eat, you won't crap.

TheReal_LWS wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:

If your wipes are coated in shit, I'd recommend a substantial change in your diet.

tGW makes a good point. If you don't eat crap, you won't crap crap.

Fify

tGreenWay wrote:

TheReal_LWS wrote:

tGW makes a good point. If you don't eat crap, you won't crap crap.

Fify

Actually, if you aren't crapping crap, what are you crapping?!?

TheReal_LWS wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:

Fify

Actually, if you aren't crapping crap, what are you crapping?!?

Nothing you have to worry your pretty little head over.

You can buy a luxe bidet on Amazon for like $26. Installs in 5 minutes. I lol @ you morons getting dingleberries with toilet paper, clogging your sewers and leaving shitty wipes in your trash cans.

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:You can buy a luxe bidet on Amazon for like $26. Installs in 5 minutes. I lol @ you morons getting dingleberries with toilet paper, clogging your sewers and leaving shitty wipes in your trash cans.

I'd like to try before I buy. Can I stop by tonight around 6:30pm?

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:You can buy a luxe bidet on Amazon for like $26. Installs in 5 minutes. I lol @ you morons getting dingleberries with toilet paper, clogging your sewers and leaving shitty wipes in your trash cans.

Shower or bidet at home is preferred, shitty wipes is a mighty fine alternative. No smell, no unsightly views. Hell, the dog doesn't even know what's in there. Never claws or paws at the undersink cabinet door to find that delicious poop wipe. If the dog can't smell it, the process gets an enthusiastic two thumbs up from me.

Dendrobates wrote:It fucks up the sewers and pipes because they don’t dissolve. It’s actually getting to be a real problem.

Why can’t the US just adapt to bidets?

This.

We had one in our house when I was a teen. Loved that motherfucker.

Rocinante wrote:

Dendrobates wrote:It fucks up the sewers and pipes because they don’t dissolve. It’s actually getting to be a real problem.

Why can’t the US just adapt to bidets?

This.

We had one in our house when I was a teen. Loved that motherfucker.

You used it as a drinking fountain. Be honest.

Dendrobates wrote:It fucks up the sewers and pipes because they don’t dissolve. It’s actually getting to be a real problem.

Why can’t the US just adapt to bidets?

Complete fucking fact. REAL problem in a ton of waste water disposal plants throughout the country. BTW- this product should be called 'ass wipes'. They could get Jeem to be their main spokesman. Perfect fit.