I'm out of booty wipes - Please suggest an alternative

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 17:25

Normally I go with the Prep H wipes for post poo cleanage, but I'm out, and I feel dirty. I need alternate options. Help!

by MartinSpartan 2014-06-05, 17:28

Try a banana peel.

by **The Pantry** 2014-06-05, 17:31

Take a shower

by LoneWolfSparty 2014-06-05, 17:36

Your wife's hair.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 17:38

MartinSpartan wrote:Try a banana peel.

I don't want to go into any personal detail, but the banana idea is not an option.

by **DWags** 2014-06-05, 17:40

by **Rocinante** 2014-06-05, 17:42

DWags wrote:

I actually felt a little sick seeing that.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 17:42

LoneWolfSparty wrote:Your wife's hair.

What, and give her yet another excuse to scream, "I'm sick of your shit!"? Pass.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 17:43

Rocinante wrote:

I actually felt a little sick seeing that.

Same.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 17:44

The Pantry wrote:Take a shower

This is always my first and favorite option, but at the moment--unpossible.

by **Ass Dan** 2014-06-05, 17:48

DWags wrote:

Someone likes to party

by **AMwood** 2014-06-05, 17:49

wet down a coffee filter.

by **Ass Dan** 2014-06-05, 17:50

Wet down some paper towel and scrub. Your asshole will bleed but it won't be sticky anymore

by **Gomer** 2014-06-05, 17:51

by **DWags** 2014-06-05, 17:52

Rocinante wrote:

I actually felt a little sick seeing that.

You would see that on the floor, and if she walked over to you and asked you to do her in the locker room, you'd be all over it.

by **AMwood** 2014-06-05, 17:58

DWags wrote:

You would see that on the floor, and if she walked over to you and asked you to do her in the locker room, you'd be all over it.

if i had some baby wipes i'd toss her salad.

by Izzo Court 2014-06-05, 18:00

Drag your ass on the living room carpet.

by **DWags** 2014-06-05, 18:01

AMwood wrote:

if i had some baby wipes i'd toss her salad.

by **Rocinante** 2014-06-05, 18:03

AMwood wrote:

if i had some baby wipes i'd toss her salad.

If I had some salad, I wouldn't be hungry. Also, I'd put my penis in her poopy butt.

by **Floyd Robertson** 2014-06-05, 18:18

Man up and go with 80 grit sandpaper. That will get your bum nice and clean. Polish it off with some 220 if you want.

by MasonGuy 2014-06-05, 18:59

Windex.

by **The Pantry** 2014-06-05, 19:01

MasonGuy wrote:Windex.

This...and a used dryer sheet

by **goodbar** 2014-06-05, 19:20

DWags wrote:

So hot. You know she's down for giving a hot handy.

by **Turtleneck** 2014-06-05, 19:36

I use bark and leaves. Stop being so spoiled.

by **Floyd Robertson** 2014-06-05, 19:40

Turtleneck wrote:I use bark and leaves. Stop being so spoiled.

If he really wants to go green/organic then corn husks might be a better option.

by **NigelUno** 2014-06-05, 20:41

Soft flour tortilla.

by **Turtleneck** 2014-06-05, 20:49

NigelUno wrote:Soft flour tortilla.

Do you add some cheese before going out in your food truck and passing them off as bean burritos?

by **NigelUno** 2014-06-05, 21:09

Turtleneck wrote:

Do you add some cheese before going out in your food truck and passing them off as bean burritos?

$12 w/cheese.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 22:10

AMwood wrote:wet down a coffee filter.

Interesting. I could use a used coffee filter and enjoy an entirely different aroma back there.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 22:12

Gomer wrote:

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 22:13

Izzo Court wrote:Drag your ass on the living room carpet.

Considered and rejected by my dog. She claimed dibs.

by Bizarro Fletch 2014-06-05, 22:13

Your cat.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 22:14

Floyd Robertson wrote:Man up and go with 80 grit sandpaper. That will get your bum nice and clean. Polish it off with some 220 if you want.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 22:17

The Pantry wrote:This...and a used dryer sheet

The Windex and dryer sheet combo might sting a smidge too much, and It already burns when I pee. One uncomfortable orifice at a time, please.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 22:20

Turtleneck wrote:I use bark and leaves. Stop being so spoiled.

I'm afraid of confusing those with the salad for the poopy bottomed cheerleader.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 22:21

Floyd Robertson wrote:

If he really wants to go green/organic then corn husks might be a better option.

This may work; I enjoy shitting on anything maize related.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 22:23

Floyd Robertson wrote:

If he really wants to go green/organic then corn husks might be a better option.

Take Two:

I have been eating a lot of spinach pie lately; it could be a clash of Green vs maize.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 22:25

NigelUno wrote:Soft flour tortilla.

I enjoy spreading Nutella on a soft flour tortilla, therefore, this suggestion might be a wee bit risky.

by **tGreenWay** 2014-06-05, 22:27

Bizarro Fletch wrote:Your cat.

The closest cat belongs to my neighbor, and he's a preacher. I'd be afraid of going to hell for cleanliness.

by **Turtleneck** 2014-06-05, 22:35

tGreenWay wrote:

The closest cat belongs to my neighbor, and he's a preacher. I'd be afraid of going to hell for cleanliness.

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