I'm out of booty wipes - Please suggest an alternative

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:25

Normally I go with the Prep H wipes for post poo cleanage, but I'm out, and I feel dirty. I need alternate options. Help!

by MartinSpartan Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:28

Try a banana peel.

by **The Pantry** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:31

Take a shower

by LoneWolfSparty Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:36

Your wife's hair.

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:38

MartinSpartan wrote:Try a banana peel.

I don't want to go into any personal detail, but the banana idea is not an option.

by **DWags** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:40

by **Rocinante** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:42

DWags wrote:

I actually felt a little sick seeing that.

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:42

LoneWolfSparty wrote:Your wife's hair.

What, and give her yet another excuse to scream, "I'm sick of your shit!"? Pass.

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:43

Rocinante wrote:

I actually felt a little sick seeing that.

Same.

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:44

The Pantry wrote:Take a shower

This is always my first and favorite option, but at the moment--unpossible.

by **Ass Dan** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:48

DWags wrote:

Someone likes to party

by **AMwood** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:49

wet down a coffee filter.

by **Ass Dan** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:50

Wet down some paper towel and scrub. Your asshole will bleed but it won't be sticky anymore

by **Gomer** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:51

by **DWags** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:52

Rocinante wrote:

I actually felt a little sick seeing that.

You would see that on the floor, and if she walked over to you and asked you to do her in the locker room, you'd be all over it.

by **AMwood** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 18:58

DWags wrote:

You would see that on the floor, and if she walked over to you and asked you to do her in the locker room, you'd be all over it.

if i had some baby wipes i'd toss her salad.

by Izzo Court Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 19:00

Drag your ass on the living room carpet.

by **DWags** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 19:01

AMwood wrote:

if i had some baby wipes i'd toss her salad.

by **Rocinante** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 19:03

AMwood wrote:

if i had some baby wipes i'd toss her salad.

If I had some salad, I wouldn't be hungry. Also, I'd put my penis in her poopy butt.

by **Floyd Robertson** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 19:18

Man up and go with 80 grit sandpaper. That will get your bum nice and clean. Polish it off with some 220 if you want.

by MasonGuy Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 19:59

Windex.

by **The Pantry** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 20:01

MasonGuy wrote:Windex.

This...and a used dryer sheet

by **goodbar** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 20:20

DWags wrote:

So hot. You know she's down for giving a hot handy.

by **Turtleneck** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 20:36

I use bark and leaves. Stop being so spoiled.

by **Floyd Robertson** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 20:40

Turtleneck wrote:I use bark and leaves. Stop being so spoiled.

If he really wants to go green/organic then corn husks might be a better option.

by **NigelUno** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 21:41

Soft flour tortilla.

by **Turtleneck** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 21:49

NigelUno wrote:Soft flour tortilla.

Do you add some cheese before going out in your food truck and passing them off as bean burritos?

by **NigelUno** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 22:09

Turtleneck wrote:

Do you add some cheese before going out in your food truck and passing them off as bean burritos?

$12 w/cheese.

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 23:10

AMwood wrote:wet down a coffee filter.

Interesting. I could use a used coffee filter and enjoy an entirely different aroma back there.

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 23:12

Gomer wrote:

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 23:13

Izzo Court wrote:Drag your ass on the living room carpet.

Considered and rejected by my dog. She claimed dibs.

by Bizarro Fletch Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 23:13

Your cat.

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 23:14

Floyd Robertson wrote:Man up and go with 80 grit sandpaper. That will get your bum nice and clean. Polish it off with some 220 if you want.

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 23:17

The Pantry wrote:This...and a used dryer sheet

The Windex and dryer sheet combo might sting a smidge too much, and It already burns when I pee. One uncomfortable orifice at a time, please.

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 23:20

Turtleneck wrote:I use bark and leaves. Stop being so spoiled.

I'm afraid of confusing those with the salad for the poopy bottomed cheerleader.

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 23:21

Floyd Robertson wrote:

If he really wants to go green/organic then corn husks might be a better option.

This may work; I enjoy shitting on anything maize related.

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 23:23

Floyd Robertson wrote:

If he really wants to go green/organic then corn husks might be a better option.

Take Two:

I have been eating a lot of spinach pie lately; it could be a clash of Green vs maize.

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 23:25

NigelUno wrote:Soft flour tortilla.

I enjoy spreading Nutella on a soft flour tortilla, therefore, this suggestion might be a wee bit risky.

by **tGreenWay** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 23:27

Bizarro Fletch wrote:Your cat.

The closest cat belongs to my neighbor, and he's a preacher. I'd be afraid of going to hell for cleanliness.

by **Turtleneck** Thu 5 Jun 2014 - 23:35

tGreenWay wrote:

The closest cat belongs to my neighbor, and he's a preacher. I'd be afraid of going to hell for cleanliness.

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