2nd Date In

by **AMwood** 2014-04-29, 09:30

So I go out to dinner with this girl at a nice little local restaurant/pub last night. nice body. she's skinny and has really nice titties. i'm guessing fake because there's no way those titties would sprout out of that skinny frame on their own. face is probably a 7-8.

her stories are so boring that while she's telling them my mind is totally wandering and i'm checking out other people in the bar. she'll ask me a follow up question to what she's saying and i'm totally lost because i tuned her out at about 3 sentences. we got some appetizers. lettuce wraps with chicken and sriracha and some fried calamari. she's 3 glasses of wine in and the discussion turns to religion. she's a practicing christian. i'm okay with that. i respect religion. sometimes, i even attend church. one of my good friends and shooting buddy is a pastor at a large church in town.

she asks me if i believe in god. i was honest and looked her straight in the eyes and said "no...no i don't." her eyes start to well up and she's like "well what do you do? you believe in something that's a greater being don't you?" and i'm like, "no, i don't. i believe in science and math and stuff." she was beside herself as if she's never heard of a person like me. the tears are free flowing at this point.

we are all of 2 dates into this thing and every crazy expectation she has built up in her vapid head is crashing down around her. she already had us married and attending church before we even finished this 2nd date. she's shown my picture to anybody who is unfortunate enough to get stuck in a conversation with her.

at this point she's having a hard time talking. she's not bawling, but she's visibly crying and has to have long pauses between her sentences while she dabs the tears with a napkin. she can't believe this is happening to her. the cherry on top was when she told me "i feel sorry for you. i feel sorry for you that you don't have that." it was everything i could do to hold in the gut busting laughter. i audibly snickered and said "don't worry about me hun. i'm gonna be allright."

she's shallow, empty headed and materialistic. just how i like them. she's perfect for me. i could have banged her last night. but i'm going to hold off until date 4 or 5 until i shag her out. this will set up the stage for a few years of me raiding every open orifice in her delicious little body.

by **Floyd Robertson** 2014-04-29, 09:34

Little did she know how much opposites attract.

by LoneWolfSparty 2014-04-29, 09:35

God thought this story was boring.

by **Ass Dan** 2014-04-29, 09:37

Pictures, you dolt

by MSUgöat 2014-04-29, 09:56

Jesus thinks you can do better.

by **Gomer** 2014-04-29, 09:58

You should tell her about the time your ex's vag swallowed you up like Jonah.

by Larry Kazamias 2014-04-29, 10:00

2nd date should definitely go on, not in

by Stoops21 2014-04-29, 10:02

So rules don't apply here? ****

by **SeeRockCity** 2014-04-29, 10:04

You've given her something to "fix". You gone.

I'd like an invite to the Bachelor party please.

by **Blanch32** 2014-04-29, 10:06

Yea you ain't hitting that. Idiot

by **AMwood** 2014-04-29, 10:09

it's funny because she was crying. there's no crying in second dates. she's crazier than a shit house rat. and that fares well for the upcoming bedroom activities.

by **AMwood** 2014-04-29, 10:10

blanch32 wrote:Yea you ain't hitting that. Idiot

schooled by the local expert in self flagellation.

by **Rocinante** 2014-04-29, 10:10

Tell her you were visited by an strange being bathed in white light as you slept last night and it told you that the only way your soul would find redemption was through repeated butthole sex for 40 days and 40 nights.

by LoneWolfSparty 2014-04-29, 10:14

Rocinante wrote:Tell her you were visited by an strange being bathed in white light as you slept last night and it told you that the only way your soul would find redemption was through repeated butthole sex for 40 days and 40 nights.

He might want to include "with her" some where in there or she might assume he's going to jail for 40 days some time soon ....

by **AMwood** 2014-04-29, 10:19

she's already texted 3 times this morning. i may have over reached here.

by **Nommad2** 2014-04-29, 10:20

tl; dr [yawn]

by Spartan Nachos 2014-04-29, 10:32

Tell her you may believe in God if she lets you buttsex her.

by Bizarro Fletch 2014-04-29, 10:36

This pic works several ways for this thread. 2nd Date In Pics+or+it+Didn_t+Happen

by **Dendrobates** 2014-04-29, 10:38

AMwood wrote:she's already texted 3 times this morning. i may have over reached here.

Wow....that's some crazy chick. So is she trying to save you? You totally should have bust out laughing. If she's trying to save you, you might some sex out of it. She will think you are converting to her religion by her blessed pussy.

Now...once you get through crazy, let's go have a drink somewhere. Can make it a double date if you want (not that crazy chick though)

by Cosmo_Kramer 2014-04-29, 10:41

What a waste of money on a second date. Wine and calamari? fuhgeddaboutit

I also don't like fake titties. The difference is obvious, and worse.

by JEK 2014-04-29, 10:45

You played that well. Christian girls love non-believers. Seriously.

by Bizarro Fletch 2014-04-29, 10:45

I feel like the percentage of Jesus freaks with bolt ons is quite low.

by Cosmo_Kramer 2014-04-29, 10:46

JEK wrote:You played that well. Christian girls love non-believers. Seriously.

This is accurate.

I was banging a minister's daughter last summer, and she was A FREAK. Like, she did almost anything and would send me naked pics all the time. Was nuts.

by ROtown Sparty 2014-04-29, 10:47

This reminds me of my 10 year high school reunion. One of my good friends from high school (cute blonde, no pics) went away to college at Western and a year or two in she became super religious and we stopped talking.

After talking to another friend of mine to get the story she apparently got pregnant, had an abortion, and couldn't deal with it mentally so turned to religion as a way of coping.

Fast forward to my 10-year reunion. We get to talking and she says she is getting a bad vibe from me and she wants to pray for me...like right then. I say no thanks, I'm not religious. She starts going off about something, I basically just said I'm fine, never been happier. And I prefer to deal with my problems head on instead of praying to something I don't believe in. Then I went to bang the chick in high school that used to be a dork but is now hot.

by LoneWolfSparty 2014-04-29, 10:50

ROtown Sparty wrote:This reminds me of my 10 year high school reunion. One of my good friends from high school (cute blonde, no pics) went away to college at Western and a year or two in she became super religious and we stopped talking.

After talking to another friend of mine to get the story she apparently got pregnant, had an abortion, and couldn't deal with it mentally so turned to religion as a way of coping.

Fast forward to my 10-year reunion. We get to talking and she says she is getting a bad vibe from me and she wants to pray for me...like right then. I say no thanks, I'm not religious. She starts going off about something, I basically just said I'm fine, never been happier. And I prefer to deal with my problems head on instead of praying to something I don't believe in. Then I went to bang the chick in high school that used to be a dork but is now hot.

You sound smart.

by **Rocinante** 2014-04-29, 10:51

ROtown Sparty wrote:This reminds me of my 10 year high school reunion. One of my good friends from high school (cute blonde, no pics) went away to college at Western and a year or two in she became super religious and we stopped talking.

After talking to another friend of mine to get the story she apparently got pregnant, had an abortion, and couldn't deal with it mentally so turned to religion as a way of coping.

Fast forward to my 10-year reunion. We get to talking and she says she is getting a bad vibe from me and she wants to pray for me...like right then. I say no thanks, I'm not religious. She starts going off about something, I basically just said I'm fine, never been happier. And I prefer to deal with my problems head on instead of praying to something I don't believe in. Then I went to bang the chick in high school that used to be a dork but is now hot.

by ROtown Sparty 2014-04-29, 10:58

LoneWolfSparty wrote:

You sound smart.

Why you gotta be a dick?

by The Lonely Stoner 2014-04-29, 11:21

So supper christian chick is going to give you the goods before marriage? She sounds crazy, and if there's one thing I've learned through life is that you never stick your dick in crazy.

by **Other Teams Pursuing That** 2014-04-29, 11:21

People who push their religion on others are the absolute worst.

by AvgMSUJoe 2014-04-29, 11:30

The Lonely Stoner wrote:So supper christian chick is going to give you the goods before marriage? She sounds crazy, and if there's one thing I've learned through life is that you never stick your dick in crazy.

She's the one who will get knocked up and you will have to un-pleasantly deal with her every weekend on custody matters... Then will teach the kids how the devil rages inside of their daddy and whatnot.

by **AMwood** 2014-04-29, 11:35

The Lonely Stoner wrote:So supper christian chick is going to give you the goods before marriage? She sounds crazy, and if there's one thing I've learned through life is that you never stick your dick in crazy.

well then you're doing it wrong. the crazier they are the better they are in the sack. i'm not looking for marriage.

oh, and she wasn't trying to push her religion on me. she was crying because she had all these silly expectations... by date 2.

by **Other Teams Pursuing That** 2014-04-29, 11:40

How'd you meet this trainwreck anyway?

by **AMwood** 2014-04-29, 11:44

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:How'd you meet this trainwreck anyway?

acquaintance of a normal friend's wife.

by Ned Stark 2014-04-29, 12:03

Dear lord. She's a fucking psycho dude. Do not, I repeat DO NOT tap that. If you do, she'll be the one who slowly drives by your house several times a day to see if you're home after you don't answer her calls.

by **Blanch32** 2014-04-29, 12:04

AMwood wrote:

schooled by the local expert in self flagellation.

I'm not the one wasting quality poon pounding time on girls expecting a ring

by **Blanch32** 2014-04-29, 12:10

Bizarro Fletch wrote:I feel like the percentage of Jesus freaks with bolt ons is quite low.

Clearly you have never visited the south

by **Rocinante** 2014-04-29, 12:13

Seriously? People who get sex every 4th total eclipse of the sun are giving advice not to ****?

bone this woman.

by Brock Middlebrook 2014-04-29, 12:16

AMwood wrote:

acquaintance of a normal friend's wife.

methinks your friend and his wife want to bang this chick, and you are the gateway 2nd Date In 3557613862

by JEK 2014-04-29, 12:19

Bizarro Fletch wrote:I feel like the percentage of Jesus freaks with bolt ons is quite low.

Hi.

by Brock Middlebrook 2014-04-29, 12:22

JEK wrote:

Hi.

those things look they're made out of hard plaster

by Sponsored content