Now taking applications for staff writers

Please provide a sample of your writing ITT.  You will get a badge like mine and will be expected to post articles from time to time about stuff that happens in MSU Sports.

I got an A+ on a paper in high school in AP US History once.

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:I got an A+ on a paper in high school in AP US History once.

Honestly, you may be over qualified.

Let's see if we can get Drew Magary to do it. He's not busy or anything.

Shall we activate the blog functionality?

Heat Miser wrote:Shall we activate the blog functionality?

That is a great question. Let's see if this takes off at all.

Is this a salaried position? If not, are you paying per click or per word?

If my opinion counts for anything I'd like it to be salaried. IF that's the case I'd love to apply so I could draw the income while spending the majority of my time drinking whiskey.

Some say the biggest question mark coming into this season is at the cornerback position. But far be it from me to question a coach that just produced 2 NFL 1st round draft picks at that position. I don't need to see his National Championship or Rose Bowl rings. When it comes to the secondary Dantonio has a nasty habit of turning question marks into exclamation points.

-Johnny Crumpaloni

Not salaried, Herbie, good start, but I need full length articles. At least 2 paragraphs.

SeeRockCity wrote:Not salaried, Herbie, good start, but I need full length articles. At least 2 paragraphs.

I could write at least 5 paragraphs after that about certain players stepping up. But I have to be honest I am kind of a drunk.

We should fire the black assisstent with the glassis.

I was in onherz callege at a teknical skool in Minnysoda.

The green seaters came alive that day, and willed the Spartans to victory.

It brought tears to the eyes of many costume-wearing Izzone members, and that really made their costumes stink even more.

But, it didn't matter. Victory was ours.

I can write good an shit.

Here iz sample:

MSU played a game today. Refs were bullshit, fucking douchers. Delaney and whatnot. Blue wall will probably tell you some bullshit about how MSU sucks and scum is the tits, but fuck that. Myth Albom and Drew Sharp can chow my bag.

Anyway, next game is next week sometime, should be an easy win unless refs. Coaches gotta adjust to that shit, or maybe they should be fired. Players too, pull the schollies. Unless they win, then blow jobs.

Decent submissions but I need at least two paragraphs, each with at least 300 words each to make it an article.

Cameron, you would probably write too many controversial articles while drunk. No way.

SeeRockCity wrote:Not salaried, Herbie, good start, but I need full length articles. At least 2 paragraphs.

Crumpaloni could do at least 152 paragraphs

SeeRockCity wrote:Decent submissions but I need at least two paragraphs, each with at least 300 words each to make it an article.

Cameron, you would probably write too many controversial articles while drunk. No way.

Fuck you, man, I do my best work when I'm drunk. I'm like fucking Hemingway and shit. If you need a more expansive submission/sample, just let me know. I'm fucking serious, I want this shit. I've got a fire in my belly, I need to write premium content for tSwill. For real.

SeeRockCity wrote:Cameron, you would probably write too many controversial articles while drunk. No way.

Fucking drunkist. I hate your kind, always judging people based on their drinking habits rather than the content of the their character - MLK would be ashamed.

It was the best of times and it was the worst of times. The campus at MSU was excited with a growing buzz that could be heard throughout the classrooms. Many students were just finishing their exams and looking forward to supporting their athletic teams. Football. Just think about that word for a second, broken down it is a simple thing. A foot and a ball, put them together and like the transformers it becomes something explosive and exciting!
They were ready, they told us they were working hard, they were gym rats, they had an us against the world mentality. It mirrored what their coach taught. Crisp passing, hard hitting, touchdown making, holding on to the rock selfishness. The celebration could be heard for 10 city blocks.
Game over, the good guys won.

InTenSity wrote:It was the best of times and it was the worst of times. The campus at MSU was excited with a growing buzz that could be heard throughout the classrooms. Many students were just finishing their exams and looking forward to supporting their athletic teams. Football. Just think about that word for a second, broken down it is a simple thing. A foot and a ball, put them together and like the transformers it becomes something explosive and exciting!
They were ready, they told us they were working hard, they were gym rats, they had an us against the world mentality. It mirrored what their coach taught. Crisp passing, hard hitting, touchdown making, holding on to the rock selfishness. The celebration could be heard for 10 city blocks.
Game over, the good guys won.

You show promise.

Get me something on spring practice.

Can my 5 year old sign up? He doesn't know how to use a keyboard but he's getting pretty good at writing 'poop' and drawing butts with crayons.

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Can my 5 year old sign up? He doesn't know how to use a keyboard but he's getting pretty good at writing 'poop' and drawing butts with crayons.

Yes. Yes yes yes. Why isn't this done yet? Yes.

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Can my 5 year old sign up? He doesn't know how to use a keyboard but he's getting pretty good at writing 'poop' and drawing butts with crayons.

SeeRockCity wrote:

InTenSity wrote:It was the best of times and it was the worst of times. The campus at MSU was excited with a growing buzz that could be heard throughout the classrooms. Many students were just finishing their exams and looking forward to supporting their athletic teams. Football. Just think about that word for a second, broken down it is a simple thing. A foot and a ball, put them together and like the transformers it becomes something explosive and exciting!
They were ready, they told us they were working hard, they were gym rats, they had an us against the world mentality. It mirrored what their coach taught. Crisp passing, hard hitting, touchdown making, holding on to the rock selfishness. The celebration could be heard for 10 city blocks.
Game over, the good guys won.

You show promise.

Get me something on spring practice.

Another dark and stormy day, and we weren't talking about the weather for once. Although it was raining out, and cold, and nothing like the fall. By all accounts it was a bad day, one in which you don't want to go outside and smell the roses. There he stood though, taking it all in, watching boys become men, running until they threw up, blood all over the back boards. This was the time of the year when running a program really counted. You can't expect greatness without chewing through a few oranges on the way.
Everyone held their breath before jumping into the ice bath. It was cold, but it was comforting, soft music came from the speakers to help everyone relax after a day of humility and beatings. This is when a team will come together to get ready to showcase just how far they think they've come. Spring practice, when the birds and the bees show up. One day, in the not so distant future everyone will be able to see men in uniforms run on a field.

InTenSity wrote:

SeeRockCity wrote:

InTenSity wrote:It was the best of times and it was the worst of times. The campus at MSU was excited with a growing buzz that could be heard throughout the classrooms. Many students were just finishing their exams and looking forward to supporting their athletic teams. Football. Just think about that word for a second, broken down it is a simple thing. A foot and a ball, put them together and like the transformers it becomes something explosive and exciting!
They were ready, they told us they were working hard, they were gym rats, they had an us against the world mentality. It mirrored what their coach taught. Crisp passing, hard hitting, touchdown making, holding on to the rock selfishness. The celebration could be heard for 10 city blocks.
Game over, the good guys won.

You show promise.  

Get me something on spring practice.

Another dark and stormy day, and we weren't talking about the weather for once. Although it was raining out, and cold, and nothing like the fall. By all accounts it was a bad day, one in which you don't want to go outside and smell the roses. There he stood though, taking it all in, watching boys become men, running until they threw up, blood all over the back boards. This was the time of the year when running a program really counted. You can't expect greatness without chewing through a few oranges on the way.
Everyone held their breath before jumping into the ice bath. It was cold, but it was comforting, soft music came from the speakers to help everyone relax after a day of humility and beatings. This is when a team will come together to get ready to showcase just how far they think they've come. Spring practice, when the birds and the bees show up. One day, in the not so distant future everyone will be able to see men in uniforms run on a field.

Needs more meat.  Maybe some quotes.  Deep insight on some players, etc.  Good work though, you're getting there.

SeeRockCity wrote:

InTenSity wrote:
Another dark and stormy day, and we weren't talking about the weather for once. Although it was raining out, and cold, and nothing like the fall. By all accounts it was a bad day, one in which you don't want to go outside and smell the roses. There he stood though, taking it all in, watching boys become men, running until they threw up, blood all over the back boards. This was the time of the year when running a program really counted. You can't expect greatness without chewing through a few oranges on the way.
Everyone held their breath before jumping into the ice bath. It was cold, but it was comforting, soft music came from the speakers to help everyone relax after a day of humility and beatings. This is when a team will come together to get ready to showcase just how far they think they've come. Spring practice, when the birds and the bees show up. One day, in the not so distant future everyone will be able to see men in uniforms run on a field.

Needs more meat.  Maybe some quotes.  Deep insight on some players, etc.  Good work though, you're getting there.

The night was humid......

I assume that any content generated will be for VIPs only.

LoneWolfSparty wrote:

SeeRockCity wrote:

Needs more meat.  Maybe some quotes.  Deep insight on some players, etc.  Good work though, you're getting there.

The night was humid......

Is that a throw momma from the train reference? Impressed.

I love SRC's feedback.. - it's like he's saying, "good job. If you drink your milk, maybe next year you can be the tallest guy at the midget convention"...

InTenSity wrote:

SeeRockCity wrote:

You show promise.

Get me something on spring practice.

Another dark and stormy day, and we weren't talking about the weather for once. Although it was raining out, and cold, and nothing like the fall. By all accounts it was a bad day, one in which you don't want to go outside and smell the roses. There he stood though, taking it all in, watching boys become men, running until they threw up, blood all over the back boards. This was the time of the year when running a program really counted. You can't expect greatness without chewing through a few oranges on the way.
Everyone held their breath before jumping into the ice bath. It was cold, but it was comforting, soft music came from the speakers to help everyone relax after a day of humility and beatings. This is when a team will come together to get ready to showcase just how far they think they've come. Spring practice, when the birds and the bees show up. One day, in the not so distant future everyone will be able to see men in uniforms run on a field.

I like this guy.