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Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by Masturbates 8/1/2015, 7:35 pm
Even if I don't have to take a shit, I'll sit and read the internet, sneak in a cup of coffee or a can of beer and just hang out for 20 mins of a closed door and time for myself. It's not that I'm unhappy with marriage, it's just I have to have time alone. The fact that I'm on the can always seems to be a good enough excuse for the wife to leave me alone.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by Jethro Bodeen 8/1/2015, 9:56 pm
I sat there for an hour today reading the news on my Android. My legs fell asleep and I staggered to my couch until the feeling returned.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by Masturbates 8/1/2015, 11:47 pm
Haha, I was looking for some witty way to chide you for misspelling "buy". I thought, yes a toilet, out in the yard, by a riding mover dude. That's what I came up with. Wa wa wa.kingstonlake wrote:By a riding mower dude
But to your point, a riding mower with a large yard is something I would really enjoy once I meet my financial goals. Haven't made it there yet, but it seems like hanging outside driving around the mower unbothered would be awesome.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by kingstonlake 8/2/2015, 2:03 am
Masturbates wrote:Haha, I was looking for some witty way to chide you for misspelling "buy". I thought, yes a toilet, out in the yard, by a riding mover dude. That's what I came up with. Wa wa wa.kingstonlake wrote:By a riding mower dude
But to your point, a riding mower with a large yard is something I would really enjoy once I meet my financial goals. Haven't made it there yet, but it seems like hanging outside driving around the mower unbothered would be awesome.
Your biggest quandary will be to mow more often or BY a bigger yard
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by Herbie Green 8/2/2015, 10:54 am
I am living it up with 2 acres and irritable bowel syndrom.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by tGreenWay 8/2/2015, 11:16 am
If I spend too long on the toilet, I start to hear my dad's voice telling me to shit or get off the pot.
Dad was a classy fuck.
Dad was a classy fuck.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by GRR Spartan 8/2/2015, 12:04 pm
So did Elvis and constipation killed him.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by steveschneider 8/2/2015, 8:25 pm
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by Other Teams Pursuing That 8/2/2015, 8:34 pm
Aren't old guys always trying to re-organize the garage just to get the hell away from the wife for a bit?
Same thing, no?
Same thing, no?
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by GRR Spartan 8/2/2015, 10:24 pm
Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:Aren't old guys always trying to re-organize the garage just to get the hell away from the wife for a bit?
Same thing, no?
No. You leave to buy 12" extension for your 1/2 drive socket wrench you need to change the plugs on your vehicle. Lots of numbers and you can vaporize for a couple of hours. Everyone knows where you are in the freakin' john.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by DWags 8/2/2015, 10:36 pm
GRR Spartan wrote:Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:Aren't old guys always trying to re-organize the garage just to get the hell away from the wife for a bit?
Same thing, no?
No. You leave to buy 12" extension for your 1/2 drive socket wrench you need to change the plugs on your vehicle. Lots of numbers and you can vaporize for a couple of hours. Everyone knows where you are in the freakin' john.
This to a T. Throw some shit at the wife, tell her how important it is, make it seem like the house might loose power if you don't get over to lowes to get something. Boom, 2-3 hour time by yourself. If you like lowes, go shopping there. If you want a beer, go get one, if you're an ass and screwing around on your wife, can do that too. You got 2-3 hours.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by Other Teams Pursuing That 8/2/2015, 10:46 pm
Guys, that doesn't sound fun. And neither does dying alone. I'm at a crossroads.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by DWags 8/2/2015, 10:55 pm
Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:Guys, that doesn't sound fun. And neither does dying alone. I'm at a crossroads.
Dont' look for the girl, if it happens it happens. Mine turned 50 on me last year, still cool as hell even if she's dumb as shit in football. She'll drink the beer and bitch at the offiials and teams. Still her best line was after a great tailgate and Maxwell not doing well vs. ND just yelling "Why doesn't that fucker just throw it to our guys like Cousins did?". Thing is, she was dead serious.
I have no advice other than that. Dont' look, don't not look, if it happens it happens. Fuck it. It's good and bad I could list them all, but who would care. My good scale still tips more to that side than the bad scale. If it goes the other way, meh, changes will be made.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by Rocinante 8/2/2015, 11:19 pm
Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:Guys, that doesn't sound fun. And neither does dying alone. I'm at a crossroads.
Just get married to a woman who has lots of friends and leaves you alone sometimes, but don't java kids our you'll be dead before you have fun again.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by FupaTuba 12/21/2016, 7:34 pm
I just sat on tTurd for an hour to see if anything exciting happened.
Nope.
Nope.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by Death Roe 12/21/2016, 7:36 pm
FupaTuba wrote:I just sat on tTurd for an hour to see if anything exciting happened.
Nope.
Great. Can you talk about other things besides your grudges from the other board?
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by FupaTuba 12/21/2016, 8:25 pm
I liked you at the old board. My only grudges currently stand at this board.Death Roe wrote:FupaTuba wrote:I just sat on tTurd for an hour to see if anything exciting happened.
Nope.
Great. Can you talk about other things besides your grudges from the other board?
1. Tanfan, I'm still eagerly awaiting an answer to a Pm that I've sent him.
2. Muffman, he's yet to accept my friend request.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by tanfan! 12/21/2016, 8:54 pm
Masturbates wrote:Even if I don't have to take a shit, I'll sit and read the internet, sneak in a cup of coffee or a can of beer and just hang out for 20 mins of a closed door and time for myself. It's not that I'm unhappy with marriage, it's just I have to have time alone. The fact that I'm on the can always seems to be a good enough excuse for the wife to leave me alone.
This is what is going to make the swill great again. We need more posters like this. Fucking hilarious. Fuck the RCMB
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by tanfan! 12/21/2016, 8:55 pm
FupaTuba wrote:I liked you at the old board. My only grudges currently stand at this board.Death Roe wrote:
Great. Can you talk about other things besides your grudges from the other board?
1. Tanfan, I'm still eagerly awaiting an answer to a Pm that I've sent him.
2. Muffman, he's yet to accept my friend request.
CHECK YOUR PM!!!!!
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by Guest 12/21/2016, 9:04 pm
Masturbates wrote:Even if I don't have to take a shit, I'll sit and read the internet, sneak in a cup of coffee or a can of beer and just hang out for 20 mins of a closed door and time for myself. It's not that I'm unhappy with marriage, it's just I have to have time alone. The fact that I'm on the can always seems to be a good enough excuse for the wife to leave me alone.
Guest- Guest
Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by AnomanderRake 12/22/2016, 2:56 pm
This is by no means empirical research, but I feel like smartphones increased the length of bathroom trips by at least 50% for me. I used to be efficient, get in and get out. Now I will sometimes forget that I'm even on the can for awhile.
Mileage may vary for others.
Mileage may vary for others.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by Izzo Court 12/22/2016, 3:07 pm
Masturbates wrote:Even if I don't have to take a shit, I'll sit and read the internet, sneak in a cup of coffee or a can of beer and just hang out for 20 mins of a closed door and time for myself. It's not that I'm unhappy with marriage, it's just I have to have time alone. The fact that I'm on the can always seems to be a good enough excuse for the wife to leave me alone.
You should try masterbating while taking a shit. A friend told me the timing is hard to nail down.
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Re: Sometimes I just sit on the toilet.
by Stoops21 12/22/2016, 3:16 pm
It's when I have time to look at memes. Usually wastes a half hour at work
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