The greatest joke ever told.

Still, one of my favorites.

Norm Macdonald has entered the game.

Last night I had a dream I was a muffler.


I woke up exhausted.

Old joke that doesn't include mobile phone/crapper time. Needs to be rewritten.

"So you want the day off from work, eh?"

"Fair enough...let's take a look at what you're asking for.

There are 365 days per year available for work.

There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.

Since you spend 16 hours each day AWAY from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 90 days available.

You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee breaks. That takes care of 23 days, leaving 68 days available.

You take an hour's lunch EVERY day, which takes up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.

You normally spend 2 days per year on Sick Leave. This leaves only 20 days available for work.

We are off for 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days.

We GENEROUSLY give you 14 days annual leave which leaves only 1 day available for work, and I'll tell you this mate, I'll be damned if you're going to take that day off!!! "

According to Monty Python's Flying Circus, the world's deadliest/funniest joke is:

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

I kept the joke in the version translated to German for everyone's safety.

The Pantry wrote:Old joke that doesn't include mobile phone/crapper time. Needs to be rewritten.

"So you want the day off from work, eh?"

"Fair enough...let's take a look at what you're asking for.

There are 365 days per year available for work.

There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.

Since you spend 16 hours each day AWAY from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 90 days available.

You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee breaks. That takes care of 23 days, leaving 68 days available.

You take an hour's lunch EVERY day, which takes up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.

You normally spend 2 days per year on Sick Leave. This leaves only 20 days available for work.

We are off for 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days.

We GENEROUSLY give you 14 days annual leave which leaves only 1 day available for work, and I'll tell you this mate, I'll be damned if you're going to take that day off!!! "

lol
The scary part is, I know someone whose primary view of running their business isn’t far off from that mentality. Needless to say, we aren’t in any business relationships with them anymore.

Not sure some of these are meeting the criteria.

NigelUno wrote:Not sure some of these are meeting the criteria.

The 1st post didn't really fit the criteria.

The Pantry wrote:

NigelUno wrote:Not sure some of these are meeting the criteria.

The 1st post didn't really fit the criteria.

Considering Kingston was the OP, we knew what we were getting into before opening the thread. See also; Any Kingston music thread