Need something to do tomorrow within a few hours of Detroit to entertain my kids

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Maybe I'll just make some jungle juice and we'll get drunk together.

Then go play on the jungle gym.

You can bring them to my place, I'll get em all liquored up

Will you spring for the Uber back home, though?

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Will you spring for the Uber back home, though?

Fuck it, why not. Anything to help mold the young generation.

I'm not gonna lie, it would be super entertaining to get the 5 year old drunk. He's got quite the imagination when sober. I hope CPS isn't reading this thread.

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Will you spring for the Uber back home, though?

Don't worry. Travis has a plain white panel van he can take the children home. Or somewhere remote.

My wager on what WBH actually is doing today:

Set up a stream of kid's movies, locked them in a room with popcorn and sippy cups to watch those movies.

Called in a hooker & blow for himself.

I'm currently at the zoo. It's hot here.

If you're going to do it outside, do it soon.

After the hard work we put in finding you entertainment we at least expect a report on your activities.

God damn you guys are demanding. I start these threads to spur conversations and arguments, not so that I am obligated to report back. 

Summary:

-Breakfast
-Went to see Inside Out
--2 year old was bored
-Went back home
-Went to pool
--Isolated kids to splash pad area, still nerve wracking
--Got kicked out of splash pad area due to "contamination in water"/baby ruths (not ours!)
--Daughter peed on the sidewalk through her swim diapers when leaving
-Went and picked up Little Cedars at the request of the eldest
-Changed them into regular clothes at home
-Watched Curious George on Netflix
--Daughter somehow managed to propel a poop turd THROUGH her diaper onto the carpet while watching Curious George

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:God damn you guys are demanding. I start these threads to spur conversations and arguments, not so that I am obligated to report back. 

Summary:

-Breakfast
-Went to see Inside Out
--2 year old was bored
-Went back home
-Went to pool
--Isolated kids to splash pad area, still nerve wracking
--Got kicked out of splash pad area due to "contamination in water"/baby ruths (not ours!)
--Daughter peed on the sidewalk through her swim diapers when leaving
-Went and picked up Little Cedars at the request of the eldest
-Changed them into regular clothes at home
-Watched Curious George on Netflix
--Daughter somehow managed to propel a poop turd THROUGH her diaper onto the carpet while watching Curious George

Sounds like a great day!! 

Your next purchase should be....

You ain't seen nothing yet. Your life has high probability to become even more entertaining

Oh no doubt. 

Honestly though I'm already on the uptick. It's SO SO nice having them both being able to fend for themselves to a certain degree. Goodness shit sucked when the elder barely could and the younger one was a helpless blob of a baby and they hated each other. 

This is actually kinda fun.

Okay. Maybe you need to have one, two, or maybe three more kids to fully appreciate the experience.

The progression working through their numbers is more exponential than geometric.

Time to start interviewing hot college women for babysitting jobs. We'll need pics.

Yup, children still sound like your life is over/ruined. I will pass.

Dendrobates wrote:Yup, children still sound like your life is over/ruined. I will pass.

As most parents will say to you, "I couldn't live without them".  Basically, it's like that cat or dog you have.  You go to somebodies house with that same cat or dog and you pet them and say hi, you go home and don't really give a shit about them.  But when your cat or dog passes on, you're beside yourself with grief.   Whatever anyone says kids are like that too.  You certainly could have and do live a great life without them, could have just married and had a ton of fun without them, but when you do have them, you really do fall in love with them.  

However, for you guys with pets, take the amount of shit you have to go through just to go on vacation to take care of them, then multiply that by 1000 for each kid.   Oh, and the worry you experience daily, and the financial burden, and the restrictions on your time.   It's weird, I'd never recommend  anyone having kids, but damn, I can't live without mine.   I don't know how to explain that to people.   Same thing with if someone asks me, "If you could do it over, would you have kids?".  At first blush, I'd say no way, then I think of my pains in the ass and say, "As long as I could have my two kids, I'd do it again" even though they consume your fucking life.  It's just weird.