Grading Michigan State Football

Pervis Muldoon wrote:As one of the foremost Michigan State football game evaluators in my county, I'll admit that I was tempted to grade this Spartan performance with my heart. Who wouldn't be, after seeing those warriors pick themselves up again and again to continue their brutal battle on foreign soil? They gave everything to this game, wearing tights on the plane to maintain blood circulation and banking sleep like it was NIL money. They didn't bow to the ever-lengthening odds and give up; they fought until the clock ran out, without once looking at the score. Maybe they should've looked at the score.

Game three grade: fail.

Thank sweet Jesus you posted these grades. No way can I make my Spartan picks without this critical insight.

MSU will win at home, I suppose they will "cover" too.

tGreenWay wrote:

Pervis Muldoon wrote:As one of the foremost Michigan State football game evaluators in my county, I'll admit that I was tempted to grade this Spartan performance with my heart. Who wouldn't be, after seeing those warriors pick themselves up again and again to continue their brutal battle on foreign soil? They gave everything to this game, wearing tights on the plane to maintain blood circulation and banking sleep like it was NIL money. They didn't bow to the ever-lengthening odds and give up; they fought until the clock ran out, without once looking at the score. Maybe they should've looked at the score.

Game three grade: fail.

Thank sweet Jesus you posted these grades. No way can I make my Spartan picks without this critical insight.

Past performance is not indicative of future results. People can and do lose money on sports wagers. For gambling problems, call 1-800-BETS-OFF.

Pervis Muldoon wrote:As one of the foremost Michigan State football game evaluators in my county, I'll admit that I was tempted to grade this Spartan performance with my heart. Who wouldn't be, after seeing those warriors pick themselves up again and again to continue their brutal battle on foreign soil? They gave everything to this game, wearing tights on the plane to maintain blood circulation and banking sleep like it was NIL money. They didn't bow to the ever-lengthening odds and give up; they fought until the clock ran out, without once looking at the score. Maybe they should've looked at the score.

Game three grade: fail.

"One of"? So humble. That's why your analysis works, there is no massive ego, just the deep dive analysis.

MiamiSpartan wrote:

Pervis Muldoon wrote:As one of the foremost Michigan State football game evaluators in my county, I'll admit that I was tempted to grade this Spartan performance with my heart. Who wouldn't be, after seeing those warriors pick themselves up again and again to continue their brutal battle on foreign soil? They gave everything to this game, wearing tights on the plane to maintain blood circulation and banking sleep like it was NIL money. They didn't bow to the ever-lengthening odds and give up; they fought until the clock ran out, without once looking at the score. Maybe they should've looked at the score.

Game three grade: fail.

"One of"? So humble. That's why your analysis works, there is no massive ego, just the deep dive analysis.

Just wondering what "county" he is referring to, as the population might not be that high.

Game four grade: fail.

Pervis Muldoon wrote:Game four grade: fail.

Impressive. And accurate.

Heat Miser wrote:

Pervis Muldoon wrote:Game four grade: fail.

Too generous again.

This should be an expulsion.

Massive fail.

F for Fuck me in the goat ass with a glass vase.

I not a “The sky is falling” fan but after today’s debacle on both sides of the ball I think the sky is beginning to crack over the football building.

I though 8-4 was a reasonable expectation for 2022. Tonight I’m hoping for 6-6.

GRR Spartan wrote:I not a “The sky is falling” fan but after today’s debacle on both sides of the ball I think the sky is beginning to crack over the football building.

I though 8-4 was a reasonable expectation for 2022. Tonight I’m hoping for 6-6.

I'm getting 2002 and 2016 vibes, because something seems just off. This isn't just a talent thing. Yes, the talent in the secondary isn't great, but pretty much every other position group on both sides of the ball are collapsing.

I'm NOT suggesting that there are drug issues, racist issues, or sexual assault issues like those teams had and/or were rumored to have. But I am worried that this team is on the verge of collapsing mentally. Maybe they already have, I don't know. Maybe after I sleep on it and reflect some, I'll be less pessimistic. But this was deflating.

MiamiSpartan wrote:

GRR Spartan wrote:I not a “The sky is falling” fan but after today’s debacle on both sides of the ball I think the sky is beginning to crack over the football building.

I though 8-4 was a reasonable expectation for 2022. Tonight I’m hoping for 6-6.

I'm getting 2002 and 2016 vibes, because something seems just off. This isn't just a talent thing. Yes, the talent in the secondary isn't great, but pretty much every other position group on both sides of the ball are collapsing.

I'm NOT suggesting that there are drug issues, racist issues, or sexual assault issues like those teams had and/or were rumored to have. But I am worried that this team is on the verge of collapsing mentally. Maybe they already have, I don't know. Maybe after I sleep on it and reflect some, I'll be less pessimistic. But this was deflating.

Yes, this wasn’t just a few mistakes or a bad day. This was a complete failure. And the look on Tucker’s face was telling.

I completed my analysis and grading in the pre-dawn hours of Wednesday morning but I really really like you guys and I didn't want to ruin half your week so I waited until today to publish this evaluation I hope that's okay.

Game five grade: fail.

Pervis Muldoon wrote:I completed my analysis and grading in the pre-dawn hours of Wednesday morning but I really really like you guys and I didn't want to ruin half your week so I waited until today to publish this evaluation I hope that's okay.

Game five grade: fail.

Thank goodness you posted, not I can make my picks.

On the bright side, rarely has there been such a great opportunity for improvement.

Game six grade: fail.

Pervis Muldoon wrote:On the bright side, rarely has there been such a great opportunity for improvement.

Game six grade: fail.

Thanks for ruining breakfast, Perv.

I'm really excited for this week's grade

Nordic wrote:I'm really excited for this week's grade

Care to make a prediction while we wait for Pervis’ in-depth grade?

Guys it's not ready yet but I think you're gonna be happy. Just a few more tabulations to do!

Pervis Muldoon wrote:Guys it's not ready yet but I think you're gonna be happy. Just a few more tabulations to do!

Oh boy, is this great!

I havent been this excited for a result since the Bush/Gore election.

Game seven grade: pass.

First BIG Soccer Champs. Now this. What a great day.

Always worth the wait.

Wow, I did NOT see this coming. But that's why we pay you the big bucks.

Game eight grade: fail.
Postgame fight: pass.
Post--fight program reaction: fail.
Post-fight Swill reaction: pass.

It’s this insight that all the other message boards can only •wish• they had.

tGreenWay wrote:It’s this insight that all the other message boards can only •wish• they had.

Its why I send Heat my $39.95 the 3rd of each month. Well worth it.

We got extra credit!

DWags wrote:

tGreenWay wrote:It’s this insight that all the other message boards can only •wish• they had.

Its why I send Heat my $39.95 the 3rd of each month. Well worth it.

I’m kinda surprised you haven’t ponied up the extra $20/month for the platinum level membership. All the extra benefits make it totally worth it. If you decide to move up, I can get you the first two months free—just use the code: greenway2022.

There was some debate as to who the primary receiver was on the third-and-goal incompletion with 1:14 to go, and it took me a while to assess scheme vs. execution on the Illinois tight end's 18-yard reception near the end of the first quarter, but the extra hours were necessary to give you the accuracy and thoroughness you've become accustomed to.

Game nine grade: pass.

Pervis Muldoon wrote:There was some debate as to who the primary receiver was on the third-and-goal incompletion with 1:14 to go, and it took me a while to assess scheme vs. execution on the Illinois tight end's 18-yard reception near the end of the first quarter, but the extra hours were necessary to give you the accuracy and thoroughness you've become accustomed to.

Game nine grade: pass.

You could also grade this one as: run

It was foolish of me to think that one extra hour was all the time Pervis would need. Clearly, his efforts require a far more thorough examination than 60 minutes could afford.

I'm sure you're wondering what caused the delay this week, and I take full responsibility for any frustration or disappointment you may be experiencing.

I have an announcement to make, which should explain the slight lengthening of the grading process: I have expanded my grading system to include Michigan State men's basketball. My unpublished, internal-use-only grades, while unsolicited, will help the coaching staff learn from each performance to improve in every aspect of the game. This is a tool available to no other program in the country and is expected to be the secret weapon in Izzo's quest for his second National Championship.

Game ten grade: pass.

Pervis I just wanted to take a second to thank you for all that you do. The quality of the content you provide is second to none in the business and we at the swill would be fools to take you for granted.

Sorry I don’t have a longer post, maybe later, I need to go alert my family that pervis’ football review has been posted. My napping child will be so excited to be jolted awake to this news.