Random Ramblings

AMwood wrote:

viagra

How will that help me not **** my girlfriend?

I mean I suppose walking around with a constant boner might disturb her. But the way she's been acting, she'd probably be into it.

Rocinante wrote:I mean I suppose walking around with a constant boner might disturb her.  But the way she's been acting, she'd probably be into it.

Did I miss something? Why you breaking up with bush?

Dendrobates wrote:

Did I miss something? Why you breaking up with bush?

Meh. It's just not working. I mean if you could superimpose her sex drive on a more interesting, less self-centered, work-obsessed woman, it might just work.

The Matrix starting on AMC right now. Haven't watched it in years   

Low gpf toilets are so stupid. You have to flush twice to get everything down. Thanks Obama

Rocinante wrote:

Meh.  It's just not working.  I mean if you could superimpose her sex drive on a more interesting, less self-centered, work-obsessed woman, it might just work.

Well now we expect pics. We're waiting.

I went for a job interview in Boston on Tuesday (job is in MI) and I hate waiting to know if I got it or not! It's driving me crazy. I know at the earliest I will know is next week, but the suspense is killing me.   

I hate my job sometimes. When I tell my bosses that no one wants to contract with us because we are a shitty company to contract with, or that a grower would rather take their chances with the markets, it means that NO ONE WANTS TO FUCKING WORK WITH US! Maybe, just maybe, people in the industry have figured out that we will not work at all with our suppliers. 

Maybe, just maybe, when people are setting up shitty sales contracts, they might want to check with the buyers to see if they price they are giving shit away with is even possible. I'm sorry that this isn't still 1995, the price of everything has gone up. **** me! I don't need this shit the day before a holiday.

Oh, and to the VP, who said not to supply our own company with our own crap, during a high market, thus sending the DC's to buy on the outside at a losing price, its bullshit that you then tell the DC's that what they are doing is 'unacceptable'. Who the **** manages, and when there is a problem, the answer to it is 'fix it'. That's it, not any advice or help. We're going to reduce your payroll by 15%, increase your responsibilities, and you will bow at our feet and thank us that you have a job.

Before going underwater, turtles take their last breath through their butthole.

Chris Tucker has never matched his performance in the fifth element.

Mrs Jason Dufner on a course with a liberal dress code.

The next time you go to put on some gloves before getting started with yard work, consider what might have crawled up into one of the fingertips.

On a completely unrelated note; recluse spiders sure do have a nasty bite.

tGreenWay wrote:The next time you go to put on some gloves before getting started with yard work, consider what might have crawled up into one of the fingertips.

On a completely unrelated note; recluse spiders sure do have a nasty bite.

If they were always out in the open where you can see them, they wouldn't be call recluse would they.

Floyd Robertson wrote:

If they were always out in the open where you can see them, they wouldn't be call recluse would they.

They're like a cranky old man in that regard, but instead of "get off my lawn" it's "get out of my glove."

My ex wife is accidentally (or maybe "accidentally") sending me texts meant for her brother talking about her boyfriend. Awesome.

Rocinante wrote:My ex wife is accidentally (or maybe "accidentally") sending me texts meant for her brother talking about her boyfriend. Awesome.

Any idea when she last fucked her brother?

Here's a random rambling. My employer had a DDOS attack on their servers today. We have TONS of code on client sites referencing our servers.

Ooops.

Hope they get it figured out before tomorrow night or Monday is not going to be fun for me.

SeeRockCity wrote:There are either time travelers among us now, or we never figure out how to time travel.

Or, someone did figure it out and went back in time to show his evangelical father, who thought it was the work of the devil. So the evangelical father decided to kill his son before he could invent it....

WBill wrote:Mrs Jason Dufner on a course with a liberal dress code.

I think that course requires soft spikes. She's ruining the course with her bare feet. How can she golf in bare feet? I think she should be made to put some properly equipped golf shoes on.

Dendrobates wrote:I went for a job interview in Boston on Tuesday (job is in MI) and I hate waiting to know if I got it or not! It's driving me crazy. I know at the earliest I will know is next week, but the suspense is killing me.   

So while I am still in the midst of waiting to find out about this job, I had a dream about it last night. It was kind of set up like Hunger games, and of us 3 finalists, the only survivor gets the job. I spent the entire night dreaming of these 2 other girls trying to kill me, and me trying to kill them. It still didn't end. I wonder if it will continue tonight.

Gold Bond is my best friend this summer

There's some 40 some year old man in this restaurant eating with his mother and some dude I assume is his step dad. He's talking at his mother like he's a teenager. Just berating her. Its obvious he lives with her. I just want to get up and knock him out of his chair, the shit.

Rocinante wrote:There's some 40 some year old man in this restaurant eating with his mother and some dude I assume is his step dad. He's talking at his mother like he's a teenager. Just berating her. Its obvious he lives with her. I just want to get up and knock him out of his chair, the shit.

If the guy is red-headed, just let the step dad do it when they get home

Phil demonstrates the backward flop shot, with the help of a stiff British breeze.

http://network.yardbarker.com/golf/article_external/phil_mickelsons_backwards_flop_shot_is_the_stuff_of_legends/16803884?linksrc=story_home_module_image_16803884

WBill wrote:Phil demonstrates the backward flop shot, with the help of a stiff British breeze.

http://network.yardbarker.com/golf/article_external/phil_mickelsons_backwards_flop_shot_is_the_stuff_of_legends/16803884?linksrc=story_home_module_image_16803884

I could try that 10,000 times and not even come close to replicating it, but I'm not the quintessential tSwill or tRCMB scratch golfer.

That must have been a cold reception.

Missing Mont Blanc mountain climber found after 32 years in ice

I send a shit ton of letters and reports for my work and I have stopped putting "dear" in front of recipients names on my cover letters. Cuz **** those people.

I make chili regularly. I'd say I'm pretty good at it. The last batch I made made me shit so fucking much I have no idea....

Rocinante wrote:I make chili regularly. I'd say I'm pretty good at it. The last batch I made made me shit so fucking much I have no idea....

Are you talking about meth?

I get up at about 3 am for work each day and I get massive diarrhea blasts every morning. However, not the case when I don't have to get up. Why.

Ass Dan wrote:I get up at about 3 am for work each day and I get massive diarrhea blasts every morning. However, not the case when I don't have to get up. Why.

Because getting up at three sucks and you're stressed?

Turtleneck wrote:

Are you talking about meth?

You have a fascination with meth. I can probably find you some if you're that curious.

Rocinante wrote:

You have a fascination with meth.  I can probably find you some if you're that curious.

I just like meth a lot better than bath salts and jenkem.

This is what 63 Billion looks like sitting on a bench.

WBill wrote:This is what 63 Billion looks like sitting on a bench.

Trying to figure out under what circumstances Sir Paul was having ice cream with Warren Buffett in Omaha.

That is one conversation neither one of them wanted recorded. No real chance of any listening devices in small town USA on a bench.