Anything funny? Good stories?
+21
Senior Dickfist
Rocinante
Floyd Robertson
steveschneider
Watch Out Pylon!
InTenSity
AvgMSUJoe
Turtleneck
Nordic
Robert J Sakimano
kingstonlake
aualum06
WhiteBoyHatcher
CORNER BLITZ
tGreenWay
The Pantry
Other Teams Pursuing That
DWags
duffy munn
MiamiSpartan
Dendrobates
25 posters
Page 1 of 5
Page 1 of 5 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Anything funny? Good stories?
I could use a pick me up. Things kinda suck, and I can't fucking drink.
I prefer funny stuff.
Entertain me my minions!
I prefer funny stuff.
Entertain me my minions!
Dendrobates- Geronte
- Posts : 5791
Join date : 2014-04-20
Age : 74
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
Not sure how you are with dad joke types, so apologies if this causes more pain than laughter, but this was emailed to me on Friday....
Please be careful because people are going crazy from being on lock down!
Actually, I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and all of us agreed that things are getting bad.
I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything and certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant.
In the end the iron calmed me down as she said everything will be fine- no situation is too pressing.
Please be careful because people are going crazy from being on lock down!
Actually, I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and all of us agreed that things are getting bad.
I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything and certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant.
In the end the iron calmed me down as she said everything will be fine- no situation is too pressing.
MiamiSpartan- Geronte
- Posts : 12255
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Miami, FL
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
MiamiSpartan wrote:Not sure how you are with dad joke types, so apologies if this causes more pain than laughter, but this was emailed to me on Friday....
Please be careful because people are going crazy from being on lock down!
Actually, I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and all of us agreed that things are getting bad.
I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything and certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant.
In the end the iron calmed me down as she said everything will be fine- no situation is too pressing.
yup, one perfectly horrible dad joke
Dendrobates- Geronte
- Posts : 5791
Join date : 2014-04-20
Age : 74
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
I'm also halfway into a Howie cookie right now.
Dendrobates- Geronte
- Posts : 5791
Join date : 2014-04-20
Age : 74
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
Oh shit Dendro I totally forgot you can't drink. I'm going to drink for you tonight. Drunk posting later.
duffy munn- Geronte
- Posts : 8869
Join date : 2014-04-19
Location : east lansing
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
duffy munn wrote:Oh shit Dendro I totally forgot you can't drink. I'm going to drink for you tonight. Drunk posting later.
Sweet! I like that. I've been making the husband drink and do shots. I try and live through you guys.
Dendrobates- Geronte
- Posts : 5791
Join date : 2014-04-20
Age : 74
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
My wife yelled to me from the kitchen, “ hey do you ever get a sharp pain in your chest like someone has a voodoo doll of you and is sticking a pin it?”
I said no.
She yelled back, “how about now?”
I said no.
She yelled back, “how about now?”
DWags- Geronte
- Posts : 50223
Join date : 2014-04-21
Age : 62
Location : Right here
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
Red wine tonight in honor
Other Teams Pursuing That- Geronte
- Posts : 36472
Join date : 2014-04-18
The Pantry- Geronte
- Posts : 19039
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Troy
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
My favorite joke seems inappropriate right now so I'll go with this one.
What's the worse thing a girl can hear after blowing Willie Nelson?
I'm not Willie Nelson.
What's the worse thing a girl can hear after blowing Willie Nelson?
I'm not Willie Nelson.
duffy munn- Geronte
- Posts : 8869
Join date : 2014-04-19
Location : east lansing
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
About the only thing I can do to make you laugh is send pics of my tiny penis.
tGreenWay- Geronte
- Swill Pick 'em 2022 Regular Season Champion
- Posts : 55669
Join date : 2014-04-18
Location : East Lansing
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
I might have some stories I can dig up.
WhiteBoyHatcher- Geronte
- Posts : 28964
Join date : 2014-04-20
Location : Welcome to the Revolution
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yf-TNVSCfsQ
duffy munn- Geronte
- Posts : 8869
Join date : 2014-04-19
Location : east lansing
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:I might have some stories I can dig up.
Are you an archaeologist?
tGreenWay- Geronte
- Swill Pick 'em 2022 Regular Season Champion
- Posts : 55669
Join date : 2014-04-18
Location : East Lansing
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
God damnit GW. I liked it better when we thought you might have been kidnapped.
WhiteBoyHatcher- Geronte
- Posts : 28964
Join date : 2014-04-20
Location : Welcome to the Revolution
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:God damnit GW. I liked it better when we thought you might have been kidnapped.
tGreenWay- Geronte
- Swill Pick 'em 2022 Regular Season Champion
- Posts : 55669
Join date : 2014-04-18
Location : East Lansing
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
There’s a guy I know who works two jobs. In the evening he is a stand up comedian, and then, after finishing his sets, he works overnight as a high school janitor.
Told me he follows the same format for both jobs, so his comedy starts off super dirty, but by the end he’s cleaned it up.
Told me he follows the same format for both jobs, so his comedy starts off super dirty, but by the end he’s cleaned it up.
tGreenWay- Geronte
- Swill Pick 'em 2022 Regular Season Champion
- Posts : 55669
Join date : 2014-04-18
Location : East Lansing
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
thanks guys
Keep the stupid shit coming
Wags, I’m going to use that on my husband
And pantry, your poor BIL. No way I would wear that.
Nothing is too inappropriate for me btw.
Corner blitz- a good oldie. Can’t believe how young both of them are in that
GW- id still see it as long as you share that with everyone
OTPT - thanks buddy! Have another one tonight
Keep the stupid shit coming
Wags, I’m going to use that on my husband
And pantry, your poor BIL. No way I would wear that.
Nothing is too inappropriate for me btw.
Corner blitz- a good oldie. Can’t believe how young both of them are in that
GW- id still see it as long as you share that with everyone
OTPT - thanks buddy! Have another one tonight
Dendrobates- Geronte
- Posts : 5791
Join date : 2014-04-20
Age : 74
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
Dendro how is the bro
aualum06- Spartiate
- Posts : 12986
Join date : 2015-05-17
Age : 39
Location : Ashley, MI
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
My 6yr old naked daughter came out of the bathroom and said dad I need your help. We went into the bathroom. “Dad I tried to pee like you do and I pee’d on the seat”. I said “oh sweety it’s ok, girls have to sit when the go potty”. She said “it was an accident, I tried to get real close”
LOL
LOL
kingstonlake- Geronte
- Swill Pick 'em 2022 Extended Season Champion
- Posts : 26335
Join date : 2014-05-15
Age : 60
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
Okay..
There's a guy working at a men's clothing store. He's bored and just waiting for time to close. About then, a blind guy walks into the store with a seeing eye dog.
The clothing store clerk thinks to himself "okay.. this will be cool. I've never seen a blind guy shopping for clothes before. This could be interesting"..
Right about then, the blind guy reaches down, grabs the dog by the leash and starts slinging him around over his head in big circles.
The store clerk is alarmed.. like 'wtf'.. he runs over to help and goes "sir, may I help you"?1?1?
And the blind guy goes. "No thanks. I'm just looking around".
There's a guy working at a men's clothing store. He's bored and just waiting for time to close. About then, a blind guy walks into the store with a seeing eye dog.
The clothing store clerk thinks to himself "okay.. this will be cool. I've never seen a blind guy shopping for clothes before. This could be interesting"..
Right about then, the blind guy reaches down, grabs the dog by the leash and starts slinging him around over his head in big circles.
The store clerk is alarmed.. like 'wtf'.. he runs over to help and goes "sir, may I help you"?1?1?
And the blind guy goes. "No thanks. I'm just looking around".
Robert J Sakimano- Geronte
- Posts : 49568
Join date : 2014-04-15
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
classic.kingstonlake wrote:My 6yr old naked daughter came out of the bathroom and said dad I need your help. We went into the bathroom. “Dad I tried to pee like you do and I pee’d on the seat”. I said “oh sweety it’s ok, girls have to sit when the go potty”. She said “it was an accident, I tried to get real close”
LOL
Robert J Sakimano- Geronte
- Posts : 49568
Join date : 2014-04-15
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
kingstonlake wrote:My 6yr old naked daughter came out of the bathroom and said dad I need your help. We went into the bathroom. “Dad I tried to pee like you do and I pee’d on the seat”. I said “oh sweety it’s ok, girls have to sit when the go potty”. She said “it was an accident, I tried to get real close”
LOL
tGreenWay- Geronte
- Swill Pick 'em 2022 Regular Season Champion
- Posts : 55669
Join date : 2014-04-18
Location : East Lansing
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
aualum06 wrote:Dendro how is the bro
Alive. Vented. No fever now last I heard.
kingstonlake wrote:My 6yr old naked daughter came out of the bathroom and said dad I need your help. We went into the bathroom. “Dad I tried to pee like you do and I pee’d on the seat”. I said “oh sweety it’s ok, girls have to sit when the go potty”. She said “it was an accident, I tried to get real close”
LOL
That is funny. Sounds like something even my 2 year old would do.
Robert J Sakimano wrote:Okay..
There's a guy working at a men's clothing store. He's bored and just waiting for time to close. About then, a blind guy walks into the store with a seeing eye dog.
The clothing store clerk thinks to himself "okay.. this will be cool. I've never seen a blind guy shopping for clothes before. This could be interesting"..
Right about then, the blind guy reaches down, grabs the dog by the leash and starts slinging him around over his head in big circles.
The store clerk is alarmed.. like 'wtf'.. he runs over to help and goes "sir, may I help you"?1?1?
And the blind guy goes. "No thanks. I'm just looking around".
Now that’s just sad
Dendrobates- Geronte
- Posts : 5791
Join date : 2014-04-20
Age : 74
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
it's not my fault that you can't see the humor in that one.Dendrobates wrote:
Now that’s just sad
Robert J Sakimano- Geronte
- Posts : 49568
Join date : 2014-04-15
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
kingstonlake wrote:My 6yr old naked daughter came out of the bathroom and said dad I need your help. We went into the bathroom. “Dad I tried to pee like you do and I pee’d on the seat”. I said “oh sweety it’s ok, girls have to sit when the go potty”. She said “it was an accident, I tried to get real close”
LOL
DWags- Geronte
- Posts : 50223
Join date : 2014-04-21
Age : 62
Location : Right here
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
Robert J Sakimano wrote:it's not my fault that you can't see the humor in that one.Dendrobates wrote:
Now that’s just sad
I think I’m broken. I usually like fucked up shit
Dendrobates- Geronte
- Posts : 5791
Join date : 2014-04-20
Age : 74
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
nah.. We love ya Dendro!!Dendrobates wrote:Robert J Sakimano wrote: it's not my fault that you can't see the humor in that one.
I think I’m broken. I usually like fucked up shit
Robert J Sakimano- Geronte
- Posts : 49568
Join date : 2014-04-15
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
Panda style
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/davidmack/coronavirus-zoo-pandas-mate-hong-kong-ocean-park
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/davidmack/coronavirus-zoo-pandas-mate-hong-kong-ocean-park
Nordic- Geronte
- Posts : 20045
Join date : 2014-05-08
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
Nordic wrote:Panda style
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/davidmack/coronavirus-zoo-pandas-mate-hong-kong-ocean-park
Stupid fucking animals. I think I put my zoology degree to good work in saying that is a species to let nature take its course. They're too fucking stupid to reproduce to keep them in existence. Darwin says natural selection. Let them go extinct
#unpopularopinion
Dendrobates- Geronte
- Posts : 5791
Join date : 2014-04-20
Age : 74
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
Dendrobates wrote:Nordic wrote:Panda style
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/davidmack/coronavirus-zoo-pandas-mate-hong-kong-ocean-park
Stupid fucking animals. I think I put my zoology degree to good work in saying that is a species to let nature take its course. They're too fucking stupid to reproduce to keep them in existence. Darwin says natural selection. Let them go extinct
#unpopularopinion
Nordic- Geronte
- Posts : 20045
Join date : 2014-05-08
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
Do you enjoy awkward stories about pooping during pandemics Dendro? I have a personal one I can relay if so.
WhiteBoyHatcher- Geronte
- Posts : 28964
Join date : 2014-04-20
Location : Welcome to the Revolution
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
[ig]B-pwDL5niYo[/ig]
CORNER BLITZ- Geronte
- Posts : 8682
Join date : 2014-04-27
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
Nordic wrote:Panda style
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/davidmack/coronavirus-zoo-pandas-mate-hong-kong-ocean-park
Probably not unlike some married couples during all of this. It’s been awhile since Larry looked at Francine like that.
Turtleneck- Geronte
- Posts : 42483
Join date : 2014-04-22
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:Do you enjoy awkward stories about pooping during pandemics Dendro? I have a personal one I can relay if so.
Bring on the poop stories
Dendrobates- Geronte
- Posts : 5791
Join date : 2014-04-20
Age : 74
Re: Anything funny? Good stories?
CORNER BLITZ wrote:[ig]B-pwDL5niYo[/ig]
That's a dad joke with just a slight dirty touch.
Dendrobates- Geronte
- Posts : 5791
Join date : 2014-04-20
Age : 74
The Pantry- Geronte
- Posts : 19039
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Troy
The Pantry- Geronte
- Posts : 19039
Join date : 2014-04-16
Location : Troy
Turtleneck likes this post
Page 1 of 5 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Similar topics
» gHost, any good stories about those border militias?
» Pictures, videos, stories...that make you SMILE or GOOD CRY
» Good, good, let the hate flow through you a little early: Bye week pregame thread
» Good story on Bridges. (Aren't they all good?)
» G h o s t stories
» Pictures, videos, stories...that make you SMILE or GOOD CRY
» Good, good, let the hate flow through you a little early: Bye week pregame thread
» Good story on Bridges. (Aren't they all good?)
» G h o s t stories
Page 1 of 5
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
|
|