What’s a current or past child-rearing strategy you especially agree or disagree with?

FTR, The wife and I never pushed Santa or Easter Bunny or any of that, but my kids "believed" (from media exposure or school or whatever) until they didn't....& That fucking elf /shelf thing people are doing lately is evil.

AvgMSUJoe wrote:As far as weed and drinking, my focus was always that they stay safe over doing what my parents did (forbid all of it, screaming all the way...I did it anyway, dangerously). No driving, no stupid. Told the boys before high school, the 2 most blatant ways to fuck your life in high school is behind the wheel or knocking up a girl.

I had a very similar approach with my boys in high school. Really only 2 rules: don't get arrested and don't make me a grandfather

MiamiSpartan wrote:

steveschneider wrote:

When I see people worship our founding fathers, the constitution or god I wonder if the seeds for all this magical thinking started with Santa, the bunny and the fairy.

Yeah, steve, and when ancient civilizations, 5,000 years ago, were telling stories about their heroes and legends, it was all because of the fucking tooth fairy, too.

A swing and a miss.

Got spanked a couple times by my dad for things can't remember...likely deserved them.

My 5th grade class went to camp for a week at a place in Attica, west of Imlay City. The itinerary for the trip was highly structured up front so sorta knew what to anticipate. Was run sorta military style. Everyone up and outside just after dawn for the flag raising and pledge of allegiance, then to breakfast. Overall, enjoyed the activities and experience.

Not to say there wasn't some weird shit. My teacher brought out a paddle with holes drilled through to show off in class at school. He used it on a classmate (forget what he did but deserved it IMO) at camp. In this day and age, teach would have likely been fired in less than a week.

The teachers conspired to figuratively fuck with all of us that week.

MiamiSpartan wrote:

AvgMSUJoe wrote:

I know it's taboo on the board, but I kinda agree with Steve... in this day and age, I think "magical thinking" is fucking people up quite a bit. All the fucking conspiracy theories when they have most of the real, legit facts right in front of them has to start somewhere....(probably mostly religion, but santa too.)

You gotta be trained to not believe what you see. (1/6 was a peaceful protest, vaccines are anything more than a way to stop a disease, supply side economics, etc. - many examples of magical thinking today.)

Problem with that theory is that in the past, when more people believed in God, Allah, Shiva, etc., there was less believing in the type of alternate realities that you're referring to. Even just 18 months ago, anti-vaxxers were on par with flat earthers, scoffed at by both the left and the right. And to be clear, I'm not saying that having more religion/belief is why people didn't believe that stuff in the past. Just that correlation does not equal causation.

You are talking out of the wazoo.

AvgMSUJoe wrote:FTR, The wife and I never pushed Santa or Easter Bunny or any of that, but my kids "believed" (from media exposure or school or whatever) until they didn't....& That fucking elf /shelf thing people are doing lately is evil.

What is the elf shelf thing?

AvgMSUJoe wrote:

MiamiSpartan wrote:

Yeah, steve, and when ancient civilizations, 5,000 years ago, were telling stories about their heroes and legends, it was all because of the fucking tooth fairy, too.

I know it's taboo on the board, but I kinda agree with Steve... in this day and age, I think "magical thinking" is fucking people up quite a bit. All the fucking conspiracy theories when they have most of the real, legit facts right in front of them has to start somewhere....(probably mostly religion, but santa too.)

You gotta be trained to not believe what you see. (1/6 was a peaceful protest, vaccines are anything more than a way to stop a disease, supply side economics, etc. - many examples of magical thinking today.)

I just want my daughters to get there on their own. You, of course , are correct. How they make that decision is up to them. I provided food shelter and relative safety for going on a quarter century now. Some decisions they’ve made have bummed me out, some have made me smile. But they were their decisions. Not mine. I didn’t know how to get them there still don’t, but it seems both have figured shit out. So whatever happened in their 24 and 21 years of life was ok. Maybe.

I can say I don’t believe they’re assholes. I cant swear to it. But what I know they’re both pretty cool to hang out with. Doesn’t mean they won’t vote for Trump in 24.

By the way, I’m turning 60 this year. If I do get grandkids, all bets are off if I babysit them. Donuts for breakfast. Cake for lunch. Bike rides and swimming every day. Fuck it. Ima be the cool grandpa. The other side can pull in the reins.

You better be kidding about that Trump thing.

Rocinante wrote:You better be kidding about that Trump thing.

They are both pretty turned off by him. But who knows, I mean I have good friends who have become zombies. Scary.

DWags wrote:By the way, I’m turning 60 this year. If I do get grandkids, all bets are off if I babysit them. Donuts for breakfast. Cake for lunch. Bike rides and swimming every day. Fuck it. Ima be the cool grandpa. The other side can pull in the reins.

Dude, twife and I have had 2 of ours all week. Cookies for breakfast. Hot dogs for lunch with banana splits for desert. At 58 I can still chase the 6 year old around and we were outside pretty much all day every day. I let him beat me in pig, horse and elephant about 25 times. 2 year old girl is a handful but so damn happy most of the time. And funny as shit. I have never said no to her for anything.

It's pretty fucking cool.

duffy munn wrote:

DWags wrote:By the way, I’m turning 60 this year. If I do get grandkids, all bets are off if I babysit them. Donuts for breakfast. Cake for lunch. Bike rides and swimming every day. Fuck it. Ima be the cool grandpa. The other side can pull in the reins.

Dude, twife and I have had 2 of ours all week. Cookies for breakfast. Hot dogs for lunch with banana splits for desert. At 58 I can still chase the 6 year old around and we were outside pretty much all day every day. I let him beat me in pig, horse and elephant about 25 times. 2 year old girl is a handful but so damn happy most of the time. And funny as shit. I have never said no to her for anything.

It's pretty fucking cool.

Right on. My dad spoiled my kids. One time we came home and my oldest said she was packing her bags and going back to grandpas house. We let her walk three blocks down the road with a packed suitcase. I’ll never forget that.

duffy munn wrote:

DWags wrote:By the way, I’m turning 60 this year. If I do get grandkids, all bets are off if I babysit them. Donuts for breakfast. Cake for lunch. Bike rides and swimming every day. Fuck it. Ima be the cool grandpa. The other side can pull in the reins.

Dude, twife and I have had 2 of ours all week. Cookies for breakfast. Hot dogs for lunch with banana splits for desert. At 58 I can still chase the 6 year old around and we were outside pretty much all day every day. I let him beat me in pig, horse and elephant about 25 times. 2 year old girl is a handful but so damn happy most of the time. And funny as shit. I have never said no to her for anything.

It's pretty fucking cool.

Never let them win. When you think they might be old enough to beat you then you never play again ever.

Travis of the Cosmos wrote:

duffy munn wrote:

Dude, twife and I have had 2 of ours all week. Cookies for breakfast. Hot dogs for lunch with banana splits for desert. At 58 I can still chase the 6 year old around and we were outside pretty much all day every day. I let him beat me in pig, horse and elephant about 25 times. 2 year old girl is a handful but so damn happy most of the time. And funny as shit. I have never said no to her for anything.

It's pretty fucking cool.

Never let them win. When you think they might be old enough to beat you then you never play again ever.

Nah, he's 6 and smiles all day saying he beat grandpapi. By the time he's actually good/old enough to beat me, maybe I will play a little harder but I doubt it.

steveschneider wrote:

AvgMSUJoe wrote:FTR, The wife and I never pushed Santa or Easter Bunny or any of that, but my kids "believed" (from media exposure or school or whatever) until they didn't....& That fucking elf /shelf thing people are doing lately is evil.

What is the elf shelf thing?

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07TJJTBW8/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_3ZAHS1DVBSBRM90FBMWS

It's pretty fucked up.

People hide them around the house to spy on their kid for Santa or some shit....

AvgMSUJoe wrote:

steveschneider wrote:

What is the elf shelf thing?

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07TJJTBW8/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_3ZAHS1DVBSBRM90FBMWS

It's pretty fucked up.

People hide them around the house to spy on their kid for Santa or some shit....

It's fucking awesome.

Try not to trick the kids into being good.... Because when they figure it out then they think it only is a trick.


Edit:drank. a number of beers. Not sure this makes sense. Will look tomorrow.

I usually don't post all that much unless I am answering a question but this thread is still bothering me a week or so after reading it so here goes.

Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy:

I was raised by a devout Catholic mother and a nonreligious father. I would describe myself as nonreligious. My wife is Jewish, her mother was fairly Orthodox, her father more progressive. We had pretty much decided to skip the Santa/EB/TF thing. We never had a Christmas Tree and never decorated for Christmas.

When my daughter was two, she came home from daycare and told us we had to get a Christmas tree because there was this guy named Santa and he was going to bring her presents.

What do you do? As someone suggested the outside influence of Santa is pretty overwhelming. We decided not to crush a two year old's dreams and bought a tree. Shockingly Santa leaves her a couple of presents every year.

Personally I don't think it leads to "magical thinking" if anything the opposite might be true. All of us know there is no Santa Claus, it is not a gray area. If anything we may have learned that what we once believed is not always true.

Homework:

3-4 hours a night of homework for a fourth grader is insane. My daughter goes to a nationally recognized elementary school that has won numerous awards. We moved here in large part due to the school. She is in the gifted and talented program which adds a separate homework requirement. (humble brag)

Her daily homework amount is roughly half of that.

I was taught not to be a cowboy or to pick guitars or drive old trucks. Now that I'm an older doctor I don't really see what's wrong with that.

Now for some reason I feel a compulsion to post in the Springsteen thread.

DWags wrote:

duffy munn wrote:

Dude, twife and I have had 2 of ours all week. Cookies for breakfast. Hot dogs for lunch with banana splits for desert. At 58 I can still chase the 6 year old around and we were outside pretty much all day every day. I let him beat me in pig, horse and elephant about 25 times. 2 year old girl is a handful but so damn happy most of the time. And funny as shit. I have never said no to her for anything.

It's pretty fucking cool.

Right on. My dad spoiled my kids. One time we came home and my oldest said she was packing her bags and going back to grandpas house. We let her walk three blocks down the road with a packed suitcase. I’ll never forget that.

just saw this.

I had a pretty f'd up childhood in a lot of ways.. my parents were nice enough overall, but just lacked a lot of skills that were a result of their less-than-ideal upbringing.

anyway, our daughter (she was maybe 5-6 at the time) goes "Dad, Papa and Nana are so awesome. I bet you had the best childhood"...

about 20 minutes later, once I stopped laughing, I was like "it was memorable, that's for sure".

Robert J Sakimano wrote:

DWags wrote:

Right on. My dad spoiled my kids. One time we came home and my oldest said she was packing her bags and going back to grandpas house. We let her walk three blocks down the road with a packed suitcase. I’ll never forget that.

just saw this.

I had a pretty f'd up childhood in a lot of ways.. my parents were nice enough overall, but just lacked a lot of skills that were a result of their less-than-ideal upbringing.

anyway, our daughter (she was maybe 5-6 at the time) goes "Dad, Papa and Nana are so awesome. I bet you had the best childhood"...

about 20 minutes later, once I stopped laughing, I was like "it was memorable, that's for sure".

Grand baby #4 arrived this morning at 12:10am. She's adorable and I will spoil her.

Congrats duffy, I'm looking forward to this quite a bit.

duffy munn wrote:

Robert J Sakimano wrote:just saw this.

I had a pretty f'd up childhood in a lot of ways.. my parents were nice enough overall, but just lacked a lot of skills that were a result of their less-than-ideal upbringing.

anyway, our daughter (she was maybe 5-6 at the time) goes "Dad, Papa and Nana are so awesome. I bet you had the best childhood"...

about 20 minutes later, once I stopped laughing, I was like "it was memorable, that's for sure".

Grand baby #4 arrived this morning at 12:10am. She's adorable and I will spoil her.

so cool. Congrats, man.

AvgMSUJoe wrote:Congrats duffy, I'm looking forward to this quite a bit.

I never thought I would be a sniveling, doting grandfather but sure enough here I am. Nothing cooler.

steveschneider wrote:

InTenSity wrote:
I thought the same thing until you need to make that choice. At that point I think most decide to let the kids have some magic in their life.

When I see people worship our founding fathers, the constitution or god I wonder if the seeds for all this magical thinking started with Santa, the bunny and the fairy.

A belief in God is the start of magical thinking.

I'm all in on believing in Santa, EBunny et al since it teaches some thing is the world of toil and sin are nice.

Also, church can be a positive thing for kids, a small main stream church with liberal values that is ...

To all of this the only thing to add is that your kids are the largest critics of your behavior you have.  They study you 24/7 and what you do is what they learn to do.

edit - even with that one of them decided to go to Michigan, don't know where we went wrong ....

TrapperGus wrote:To all of this the only thing to add is that your kids are the largest critics of your behavior you have.  They study you 24/7 and what you do is what they learn to do.

edit - even with that one of them decided to go to Michigan, don't know where we went wrong ....

They also like to test... and push buttons. If the worst thing that happens is you get them a big ten caliber education... well, I guess....



YOU STILL FAILED... IT'S UM WEEK!!!

AvgMSUJoe wrote:

TrapperGus wrote:To all of this the only thing to add is that your kids are the largest critics of your behavior you have.  They study you 24/7 and what you do is what they learn to do.

edit - even with that one of them decided to go to Michigan, don't know where we went wrong ....

They also like to test... and push buttons. If the worst thing that happens is you get them a big ten caliber education... well, I guess....



YOU STILL FAILED... IT'S UM WEEK!!!

The problem was the kid was rejected by MSU and accepted by the back up school, Michigan ...

TrapperGus wrote:

AvgMSUJoe wrote:
They also like to test... and push buttons. If the worst thing that happens is you get them a big ten caliber education... well, I guess....



YOU STILL FAILED... IT'S UM WEEK!!!

The problem was the kid was rejected by MSU and accepted by the back up school, Michigan ...

Huh, weird.

AvgMSUJoe wrote:

TrapperGus wrote:

The problem was the kid was rejected by MSU and accepted by the back up school, Michigan ...

Huh, weird.

Nothing weird about that, MSU rejects go to Michigan ...

MSU addict wrote:I usually don't post all that much unless I am answering a question but this thread is still bothering me a week or so after reading it so here goes.

Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy:

I was raised by a devout Catholic mother and a nonreligious father. I would describe myself as nonreligious. My wife is Jewish, her mother was fairly Orthodox, her father more progressive. We had pretty much decided to skip the Santa/EB/TF thing. We never had a Christmas Tree and never decorated for Christmas.

When my daughter was two, she came home from daycare and told us we had to get a Christmas tree because there was this guy named Santa and he was going to bring her presents.

What do you do? As someone suggested the outside influence of Santa is pretty overwhelming. We decided not to crush a two year old's dreams and bought a tree. Shockingly Santa leaves her a couple of presents every year.

Personally I don't think it leads to "magical thinking" if anything the opposite might be true. All of us know there is no Santa Claus, it is not a gray area. If anything we may have learned that what we once believed is not always true.

Homework:

3-4 hours a night of homework for a fourth grader is insane. My daughter goes to a nationally recognized elementary school that has won numerous awards. We moved here in large part due to the school. She is in the gifted and talented program which adds a separate homework requirement. (humble brag)

Her daily homework amount is roughly half of that.

I gave this Santa Claus thing some more thought and think it’s a good idea. Let kids be kids. I do think it creates magical thinking though like when adults believe in Big Foot, the Lochness Monster, or when some one has something happen that day they view as a lucky mystical moment so they need to buy a lotto ticket. My opinion is as long as Krampus remains out of Christmas it’s a good thing for kids.

AvgMSUJoe wrote:

steveschneider wrote:

What is the elf shelf thing?

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07TJJTBW8/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_3ZAHS1DVBSBRM90FBMWS

It's pretty fucked up.

People hide them around the house to spy on their kid for Santa or some shit....

My daughter's elf showed up today wearing this:



My wife spends too much time on Etsy.

Is your daughter horrified the creepy little doll is spying on her and reporting her to higher authorities?

It's like 1984 or some shit.

those are some nice legos

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:those are some nice legos

The helmet is tight. I want one.

AvgMSUJoe wrote:Is your daughter horrified the creepy little doll is spying on her and reporting her to higher authorities?

It's like 1984 or some shit.

Not at all. She very much looks forward to her arrival.

Like Santa, it is really an outside influence thing. We wanted to skip the whole Elf on Shelf thing, but then the kids starts to wonder why all of her friends and her cousins have Elfs, but she does not. Her day care had an Elf, as does her elementary school.

I am not sure how much she "believes" she is seven, but very bright (scored in the 97th percentile on the OLSAT). She even suggests places that Tinsel might appear. We just play along and have fun with it.

AvgMSUJoe wrote:Is your daughter horrified the creepy little doll is spying on her and reporting her to higher authorities?

It's like 1984 or some shit.

Better than Mr. Marbles. He’s going to kill Jerry Seinfeld.

Other Teams Pursuing That wrote:those are some nice legos

Come to my house. Mrs. GW is all in on Legos places. Between our two offices, there’s stuff from London, NYC, Paris, I think Vegas, the Friend’s coffee shop, and a bunch more. Currently, she’s building the Coliseum, which, at her slower than usual pace, should take another 2-3 months. Looking forward to Titanic taking up the entire dining room table.