When is date #3?

Chitown_Badger wrote:

New guy, don't poke the Wood   

Looks like we either have a new pet troll to kick around or HM blew-up another SD265 schtick.

Edit: Oh, wait, HM called him buddy, which is what he calls SD265, so it must have been him. Damn I am slow today.  

tTito wrote:

Looks like we either have a new pet troll to kick around or HM blew-up another SD265 schtick.

Actually I've been around longer than most of you. Not trying to poke anything, just in good fun

tBlairWhiteProject wrote:

Actually I've been around longer than most of you.

I highly doubt that, unless you're talking about the Swill.

Chitown_Badger wrote:

I highly doubt that, unless you're talking about the Swill.

I'm talking early 2000s

But don't change the subject. This is about AM and his blue balls

tBlairWhiteProject wrote:

I'm talking early 2000s

2000

Has anyone ever met AM wood in person?

Chitown_Badger wrote:

2000

Has anyone ever met AM wood in person?

i've met some people on here. i'm for realz.

AMwood wrote:

i've met some people on here. i'm for realz.

Didn't mean to imply you were a schtick. I believe you're for real, fo real.

Chitown_Badger wrote:

Didn't mean to imply you were a schtick. I believe you're for real, fo real.

no implication taken, brah.  

Chitown_Badger wrote:

2000

Has anyone ever met AM wood in person?

Yeah, he's been to an RCMB tailgate before. Pretty sure it was Guest that tried to start some shit with A.M.wood at the Indiana tailgate, right? Somebody help me out here.  Seems if I remember right Guest was totally loaded, talking shit, and just being a general ass and then A.M. asked them to settle the **** down?  That's when Guest just lost it and had to be escorted out, told to never come to another tailgate again? Totally awkward.

honestly, when I saw that Guest made it over here to this board I was surprised they had the balls to sign up, knowing Wood was over here too.

goodbar wrote:

Yeah, he's been to an RCMB tailgate before. Pretty sure it was Guest that tried to start some shit with A.M.wood at the Indiana tailgate, right? Somebody help me out here.  Seems if I remember right Guest was totally loaded, talking shit, and just being a general ass and then A.M. asked them to settle the **** down?  That's when Guest just lost it and had to be escorted out, told to never come to another tailgate again? Totally awkward.

honestly, when I saw that Guest made it over here to this board I was surprised they had the balls to sign up, knowing Wood was over here too.

I remember that asshole. Can't believe it! Hope he burns in hell! 

goodbar wrote:

Yeah, he's been to an RCMB tailgate before. Pretty sure it was Guest that tried to start some shit with A.M.wood at the Indiana tailgate, right? Somebody help me out here.  Seems if I remember right Guest was totally loaded, talking shit, and just being a general ass and then A.M. asked them to settle the **** down?  That's when Guest just lost it and had to be escorted out, told to never come to another tailgate again? Totally awkward.

honestly, when I saw that Guest made it over here to this board I was surprised they had the balls to sign up, knowing Wood was over here too.

if i ever get my hands on that cocksucker i'm gonna take him down to china town.

AM - I'm pretty certain she's posting about your first two dates on this site.

Love Advice Forum

Some guys here could probably have quite an impact on that board.

I vote to disable the [user] function.

Zapp Brannigan wrote:Love Advice Forum

An invasion of that board could get REAL ugly...

Here's my situation: I've told some substantial lies to a girl I've inadvertently become involved with online. This relationship did not begin on a dating website; it began on a music site, strictly due to our mutual interest in certain bands. Neither of us ever had any intentions of it evolving into something serious.

She thinks I have a career and live in my own place. I've been unemployed for years and still live at home. I've also lead her to believe that I'm sexually experienced, which couldn't be further from the truth. I've never even had a girlfriend before. Obviously the only reason I told her these lies is due to the tremendous embarrassment I feel, given my age of 27.

I know that if I continue down this path, it will inevitably blow up in my face. So the way I see it, I face one of two options:

A. Confess everything. This will almost certainly ruin what we have, and that's fine, I deserve that. But I'm more worried about her, which leads me to option B...

B. Distance myself from her. Either way, I probably doomed our relationship from the moment I started lying. Losing her will suck, but I don't care about myself in this. I simply don't want to hurt her. My fear is if she learns the truth, after the trust she's instilled in me, a person she cares deeply about on an intimate level, it could damage her future relationships (not to mention making her feel angry and betrayed). The last thing I want is for her to have trust issues with other men because of me.

So what do I do? Telling the truth is almost always better than lying, but if I can slowly dissolve our relationship without hurting her, I feel as though that might be a better option.

   

[quote="AvgMSUJoe"]

An invasion of that board could get REAL ugly...



Go on...

Dammit! I'm blocked from 'that board'. 

AvgMSUJoe wrote:I vote to disable the [user] function.

Hey, speaking of disabled, workplace studies show that over 1 in 4 of today's 20 year-olds will become disabled before they retire.

Chitown_Badger wrote:

If Blanch posted there, that board would be    in about 30 minutes.

goodbar wrote:

Yeah, he's been to an RCMB tailgate before. Pretty sure it was Guest that tried to start some shit with A.M.wood at the Indiana tailgate, right? Somebody help me out here.  Seems if I remember right Guest was totally loaded, talking shit, and just being a general ass and then A.M. asked them to settle the **** down?  That's when Guest just lost it and had to be escorted out, told to never come to another tailgate again? Totally awkward.

honestly, when I saw that Guest made it over here to this board I was surprised they had the balls to sign up, knowing Wood was over here too.

That guy is an enormous waste of space. I remember that day well. I was just sitting nearby in a pickup truck with Fletch, not even at the tailgate, and we could still hear everything that jackass was saying. Thank goodness for AM Wood.

Achtung Baby wrote:

That guy is an enormous waste of space. I remember that day well. I was just sitting nearby in a pickup truck with Fletch, not even at the tailgate, and we could still hear everything that jackass was saying. Thank goodness for AM Wood.

See, I heard AM was only like 5'3 (and that's why his ex's vag seemed so big to him). Is he a wrestler? Those little fuckers are usually stocky and have a low center of gravity. Guest's probably lucky he didn't get his ass kicked by a little dude with cauliflower ear.

Brock Middlebrook wrote:

See, I heard AM was only like 5'3 (and that's why his ex's vag seemed so big to him).  Is he a wrestler?  Those little fuckers are usually stocky and have a low center of gravity.  Guest's probably lucky he didn't get his ass kicked by a little dude with cauliflower ear.

i have a dainty frame and i wouldn't do well in prison. but goddammit i gave him the business...

From everything I've been reading, next date is gonna be monkey sex.  

I'd get the business huh. We shall see this fall then

tBlairWhiteProject wrote:I'd get the business huh. We shall see this fall then

He's going to slap you silly with that huge caulk of his

Brock Middlebrook wrote:
See, I heard AM was only like 5'3 (and that's why his ex's vag seemed so big to him).  Is he a wrestler?  Those little fuckers are usually stocky and have a low center of gravity.  Guest's probably lucky he didn't get his ass kicked by a little dude with cauliflower ear.

You have the numbers correct, but in the wrong context.  He isn't 5'3", but his cork is 53 cubic inches.

I've been masturbating constantly all night long wondering how the third date went. Super raw and looking for an update. Thx.

 

Driving to detroilet. Will update this afternoon. Keep stroking.

goodbar wrote:

Yeah, he's been to an RCMB tailgate before. Pretty sure it was Guest that tried to start some shit with A.M.wood at the Indiana tailgate, right? Somebody help me out here.  Seems if I remember right Guest was totally loaded, talking shit, and just being a general ass and then A.M. asked them to settle the **** down?  That's when Guest just lost it and had to be escorted out, told to never come to another tailgate again? Totally awkward.

honestly, when I saw that Guest made it over here to this board I was surprised they had the balls to sign up, knowing Wood was over here too.

Listen, asshole - it was one time. I had a rough morning at hot yoga, I spilled my starbucks, and my leggings had a tear. I went to brunch with the girls and had a few too many bloody marys funneled down my gullet. When I got to the tailgate and saw AM wood there, I just snapped. We went on three dates together...HE TOOK ME TO OLIVE GARDEN FOR GOD SAKES...AND NEVER CALLED ME AGAIN. I let him go straight for my poop shoot, and now I see he is doing this to others???

So I get there a little early so I can check out her gate as she's walking in. She's wearing high heels, black yoga pants, a tight little shirt that shows off her cans, and a black jacket. I give her a kiss.

She's like" did I tell you my daughter waits here?" Wtf? Are you faulting kidding me? Why didn't she say anything before? Because she wants her daughter to see me, that's why. I don't want to meet your daughter. I don't want anything that connects you to real life. I want to **** a soul less, empty vessel. The more you turn into a real person the more flaccid I become.

She starts in with the stupid stories again. My eyes glaze over. I am staring at the wall behind her head because that is more interesting than what's coming out of her pie hole.

Now I can't make shit like this up. I'm not that clever. She asks me "so, remember when my birthday is?" I'm like no. "I texted it to you" great, now she's caught me not listening to what she's saying and not reading half of her insipid texts.

She digs her keys out of her purse and on them there is a key chain thing that says September 29th. She's like "I think the day you're born is important" also on this key chain are things that represent the individual like kind, compassionate, doesn't take shit from others. On the other side is a list of famous people born on that date. One of them is jerry lee Lewis. " I really relate to and admire him. I love all of his stuff even the stuff in France." Huh? "My favorite show of his though is the nutty professor"

I laugh out loud and said " OH MY GOD......" And I caught myself before I finished the sentence of oh my god you are so fucking stupid!!!! How hot is that?

Just like babe Ruth pointing out his home run, I'm pointing at Saturday. That is the day I'm going to bring the **** train to town. One of the guys from out in our shop is in a band and they're playing Saturday at a motorcycle bar really close to me. I will buy the band a couple of shots, a few friends will be there, it's all panty peeler.

Center field, guys. Center field.

AMwood wrote:So I get there a little early so I can check out her gate as she's walking in. She's wearing high heels, black yoga pants, a tight little shirt that shows off her cans, and a black jacket. I give her a kiss.

She's like" did I tell you my daughter waits here?" Wtf? Are you faulting kidding me? Why didn't she say anything before? Because she wants her daughter to see me, that's why. I don't want to meet your daughter. I don't want anything that connects you to real life. I want to **** a soul less, empty vessel. The more you turn into a real person the more flaccid I become.

She starts in with the stupid stories again. My eyes glaze over. I am staring at the wall behind her head because that is more interesting than what's coming out of her pie hole.

Now I can't make shit like this up. I'm not that clever. She asks me "so, remember when my birthday is?" I'm like no. "I texted it to you" great, now she's caught me not listening to what she's saying and not reading half of her insipid texts.

She digs her keys out of her purse and on them there is a key chain thing that says September 29th. She's like "I think the day you're born is important" also on this key chain are things that represent the individual like kind, compassionate, doesn't take shit from others.  On the other side is a list of famous people born on that date. One of them is jerry lee Lewis. " I really relate to and admire him. I love all of his stuff even the stuff in France." Huh? "My favorite show of his though is the nutty professor"

I laugh out loud and said " OH MY GOD......" And I caught myself before I finished the sentence of oh my god you are so fucking stupid!!!! How hot is that?

Just like babe Ruth pointing out his home run, I'm pointing at Saturday. That is the day I'm going to bring the **** train  to town. One of the guys from out in our shop is in a band and they're playing Saturday at a motorcycle bar really close to me. I will buy the band a couple of shots, a few friends will be there, it's all panty peeler.

Center field, guys. Center field.

Have them play some Jerry Lee Lewis and really melt her bloomers off and then show her you have the great balls of fire.

She wouldn't have a faulking clue about who jerrry lee Lewis is.

AMwood wrote:She wouldn't have a faulking clue about who jerrry lee Lewis is.

Exactly....as you are laying some serious pipe after the next date start yelling out song lyrics like it is your thing.. "Oh yeah bitch, you got a whole lotta shakin going on." "Oh yeah, you ready for my great balls of fire?" "Let me get all up in your tutti frutti." "Bitch, you is middle age crazy." "Bring your face over here and get ready for my jambalaya."

So did you meet her daughter? And if so, are you going to have to be her father now?

Giant Moose wrote:So did you meet her daughter? And if so, are you going to have to be her father now?

Of course I met her. Dingwings called her over to the table like 3 times with totally stupid questions.

Giant Moose wrote:So did you meet her daughter? And if so, are you going to have to be her father now?

One can assume her daughter is in the 18-25 age range and should be crazy but not as bat shit crazy as the mom....aka he gonna bang her out too?

pulling69 wrote:

One can assume her daughter is in the 18-25 age range and should be crazy but not as bat shit crazy as the mom....aka he gonna bang her out too?

Mother/Daughter threesome!!!!!

pulling69 wrote:

One can assume her daughter is in the 18-25 age range and should be crazy but not as bat shit crazy as the mom....aka he gonna bang her out too?

She's 22 and not as hot as the mom, believe it or not.