Cargo shorts war erupts on the pages of American newspapers

by **Turtleneck** 2016-08-06, 10:02

I am not sure, but the debate seems to have originated with this Wall Street Journal article: Nice Cargo Shorts! You're Sleeping on the Sofa. The article is quite critical of cargo shorts, and basically tells middle-aged men how ridiculous they look. It's true. You do look like an idiot.

People in the shorts rights community - yes, apparently that is a thing - immediately fired back. As you know there is a standoff between those who do not believe in shorts and the shorts rights people who wear shorts in February. Here is the thing, in a Washington Post editorial, a shorts righter agrees with the Wall Street Journal piece - that cargo shorts look dumb - and then proceeds to offer up a bunch of pro-jorts propaganda. So the debate took on a new twist when an apparent divide in the shorts right community surfaced. Apparently there is not much overlap between the pro-jorts and pro-cargo shorts camps. Anyway, the article, titled Real American men don't wear cargo shorts, even includes a map of where cargo shorts and jorts are most popular. To my surprise, Michigan is a cargo shorts state and not a jorts state.

Cargo shorts war erupts on the pages of American newspapers Shorts

Cargo shorts war erupts on the pages of American newspapers Shorts

Since the original Wall Street Journal article, a whole bunch of articles have popped up and there is a serious debate taking place. Actually, it is not much of a debate. The cargo shorts crowd does not have many defenders. Maybe we will soon rid this country of the cargo shorts riff raff, and then we can turn our attention on the jorts people.

Cargo Shorts Are Dead. Here’s What We Know.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cargo-shorts-dead_us_579fafa0e4b0e2e15eb6d0e0

America Is Fiercely Divided on the Cargo Shorts v. Jean Shorts Debate
http://www.gq.com/story/cargo-shorts-jean-shorts-america

Yes, cargo shorts really are that bad — here's what you should wear instead
http://www.businessinsider.com/why-no-man-should-wear-cargo-shorts-2016-8

Just do a Google news search for cargo shorts. The debate is real and it is spectacular.

by **Death Roe** 2016-08-06, 10:07

Welcome back!!!

by **Turtleneck** 2016-08-06, 10:11

Death Roe wrote:Welcome back!!!

Get off the fence. Pick a side.

by **tGreenWay** 2016-08-06, 10:15

Went in for some cargo shorts at The Gap last week. Salesman said they were sold out in all but the tiniest sizes. That means real men where cargo shorts. Cargo shorts war erupts on the pages of American newspapers 2275418548

Cargo shorts war erupts on the pages of American newspapers 2275418548

by **Turtleneck** 2016-08-06, 10:17

tGreenWay wrote:Went in for some cargo shorts at The Gap last week. Salesman said they were sold out in all but the tiniest sizes. That means real men where cargo shorts.

You sound fat.

by **tGreenWay** 2016-08-06, 10:26

Turtleneck wrote:
tGreenWay wrote:Went in for some cargo shorts at The Gap last week. Salesman said they were sold out in all but the tiniest sizes. That means real men where cargo shorts.

You sound fat.

Can I finish your tots?

by **Turtleneck** 2016-08-06, 10:29

tGreenWay wrote:
Turtleneck wrote:

You sound fat.

Can I finish your tots?

Listen, your wife thinks you look like an idiot. Shorts are bad enough, but to wear cargo shorts...Get it together, Greenway. What is next, cargo jorts? Do you wear a lot of cargo jorts?

by tanfan! 2016-08-06, 10:29

Turtleneck wrote:
tGreenWay wrote:Went in for some cargo shorts at The Gap last week. Salesman said they were sold out in all but the tiniest sizes. That means real men where cargo shorts.

You sound fat.

LOL. I have one pare of cargo shorts and only wear them when all the chinos are in the wash. I hate them.

by **tGreenWay** 2016-08-06, 10:42

Cargo shorts are perfectly utilitarian. As I've said several times in the past, they're great for walking the dog. I can carry poop bags and treats, along with the crap I usually bring along. Having those extra pockets is a gift from the Almighty.
But no cargo jorts. They are an abomination. God would smite me. Nobody wants to get smited on the weekend.

by **Turtleneck** 2016-08-06, 10:42

Tanfan! wrote:
Turtleneck wrote:

You sound fat.

LOL. I have one pare of cargo shorts and only wear them when all the chinos are in the wash. I hate them.

I imagine cargo shorts will be part of the Trump Youth summer uniform collection.

by **Motown Spartan** 2016-08-06, 10:42

I wear cargo shorts when doing man things like changing the lifters on 351 Windsor in my '69 Mustang or re-roofing the garage.

by **Turtleneck** 2016-08-06, 10:44

tGreenWay wrote:Cargo shorts are perfectly utilitarian. As I've said several times in the past, they're great for walking the dog. I can carry poop bags and treats, along with the crap I usually bring along. Having those extra pockets is a gift from the Almighty.
But no cargo jorts. They are an abomination. God would smite me. Nobody wants to get smited on the weekend.

Do you know what is perfectly utilitarian? Being a minimalist. Stop carrying so much stuff.

You do not get to just cut it off at cargo jorts. Ohh no, Greenway. You're all in whether you like it or not.

by **Turtleneck** 2016-08-06, 10:45

Motown Spartan wrote:I wear cargo shorts when doing man things like changing the lifters on 351 Windsor in my '69 Mustang or re-roofing the garage.

They make actual pants for those kinds of activities. Do you wear flip flops, too?

by **tGreenWay** 2016-08-06, 10:45

Turtleneck wrote:
Tanfan! wrote:

LOL. I have one pare of cargo shorts and only wear them when all the chinos are in the wash. I hate them.

I imagine cargo shorts will be part of the Trump Youth summer uniform collection.

Mine are in light khaki and off-white. No brown to be found.

by tanfan! 2016-08-06, 10:47

Turtleneck wrote:
Motown Spartan wrote:I wear cargo shorts when doing man things like changing the lifters on 351 Windsor in my '69 Mustang or re-roofing the garage.

They make actual pants for those kinds of activities. Do you wear flip flops, too?

I do wear flip flops with my chinos. But I only wear crocs brand because they are so damn comfortable.

by **Turtleneck** 2016-08-06, 10:47

tGreenWay wrote:
Turtleneck wrote:

I imagine cargo shorts will be part of the Trump Youth summer uniform collection.

Mine are in light khaki and off-white. No brown to be found.

No. They are denim.

by Guest 2016-08-06, 10:47

Being a naturalist means you're not required to own any shorts, including cargo shorts.

Cargo shorts war erupts on the pages of American newspapers PX10077991_BUYING__3097780b

Cargo shorts war erupts on the pages of American newspapers PX10077991_BUYING__3097780b

by **tGreenWay** 2016-08-06, 10:48

Turtleneck wrote:
tGreenWay wrote:Cargo shorts are perfectly utilitarian. As I've said several times in the past, they're great for walking the dog. I can carry poop bags and treats, along with the crap I usually bring along. Having those extra pockets is a gift from the Almighty.
But no cargo jorts. They are an abomination. God would smite me. Nobody wants to get smited on the weekend.

Do you know what is perfectly utilitarian? Being a minimalist. Stop carrying so much stuff.

You do not get to just cut it off at cargo jorts. Ohh no, Greenway. You're all in whether you like it or not.

Maybe I'll donate my wardrobe to Goodwill today--all but my cargo shorts and a couple of t-shirts. Thanks, Turtleneck. I feel lighter already.

by **Turtleneck** 2016-08-06, 10:48

Tanfan! wrote:
Turtleneck wrote:

They make actual pants for those kinds of activities. Do you wear flip flops, too?

I do wear flip flops with my chinos. But I only wear crocs brand because they are so damn comfortable.

One thing communism got right is no flip flops.

by **tGreenWay** 2016-08-06, 10:48

LooseGoose wrote:Being a naturalist means you're not required to own any shorts, including cargo shorts.

MY EYES!

Cargo shorts war erupts on the pages of American newspapers 1550444538

by **DWags** 2016-08-06, 10:49

Fuck, I wear Cargo shorts, sandals and t-shirts in the summer. Judge me, fuck you.

by **tGreenWay** 2016-08-06, 10:49

Turtleneck wrote:
tGreenWay wrote:

Mine are in light khaki and off-white. No brown to be found.

No. They are denim.

Too late. I donated those.

by **Motown Spartan** 2016-08-06, 10:50

Turtleneck wrote:
Motown Spartan wrote:I wear cargo shorts when doing man things like changing the lifters on 351 Windsor in my '69 Mustang or re-roofing the garage.

They make actual pants for those kinds of activities. Do you wear flip flops, too?

Why would I wear pants when working outside in the summer?

by **tGreenWay** 2016-08-06, 10:50

DWags wrote:Fuck, I wear Cargo shorts, sandals and t-shirts in the summer. Judge me, fuck you.

DWags has just created my new favorite t-shirt slogan. I want it on a bumper sticker, too.

by **Turtleneck** 2016-08-06, 10:50

LooseGoose wrote:Being a naturalist means you're not required to own any shorts, including cargo shorts.

On second thought, I think we would all prefer Greenway in cargo shorts.

by **Turtleneck** 2016-08-06, 10:51

DWags wrote:Fuck, I wear Cargo shorts, sandals and t-shirts in the summer. Judge me, fuck you.

How did those sandals work out for you last night?

by Guest 2016-08-06, 10:51

DWags wrote:Fuck, I wear Cargo shorts, sandals and t-shirts in the summer. Judge me, fuck you.

How's the foot/toe Wags?

Cargo shorts war erupts on the pages of American newspapers CpLtKUyUsAA2NrA

by **tGreenWay** 2016-08-06, 10:51

Motown Spartan wrote:
Turtleneck wrote:

They make actual pants for those kinds of activities. Do you wear flip flops, too?

Why would I wear pants when working outside in the summer?

This. Turtleneck sounds like he's one of those European types. NTTAWWT.

by **DWags** 2016-08-06, 10:53

LooseGoose wrote:
DWags wrote:Fuck, I wear Cargo shorts, sandals and t-shirts in the summer. Judge me, fuck you.

How's the foot/toe Wags?

swelling down on the top of the foot. I think my second toe is broken maybe. It hurts a lot, but I'm golfing soon. I also think I might lose a toe nail. I've had worse. I was drunk last night.

by tanfan! 2016-08-06, 10:53

Turtleneck wrote:
Tanfan! wrote:

I do wear flip flops with my chinos. But I only wear crocs brand because they are so damn comfortable.

What's the alternative? Tennis shoes and white sox? Come on.

One thing communism got right is no flip flops.

by **Turtleneck** 2016-08-06, 10:53

tGreenWay wrote:
Motown Spartan wrote:

Why would I wear pants when working outside in the summer?

This. Turtleneck sounds like he's one of those European types. NTTAWWT.

No. I am an American so I do not wear shorts. Shorts are for people from weak countries.

by **tGreenWay** 2016-08-06, 10:53

I have to leave this conversation right now. In honor of you guys, I'm going to be wearing some cargo shorts with my pockets full of everything from the junk drawer.

by **tGreenWay** 2016-08-06, 10:53

Turtleneck wrote:
tGreenWay wrote:

This. Turtleneck sounds like he's one of those European types. NTTAWWT.

No. I am an American so I do not wear shorts. Shorts are for people from weak countries.

You sound French.

by **DWags** 2016-08-06, 10:54

Turtleneck wrote:
DWags wrote:Fuck, I wear Cargo shorts, sandals and t-shirts in the summer. Judge me, fuck you.

How did those sandals work out for you last night?

Good point, I had shoes on cleaning up the yard, getting shit ready for lthe wife and kid to come, took a shower put on sandles to sit down, remembered I needed to go get wood and fuck......

by **Turtleneck** 2016-08-06, 10:56

Tanfan! wrote:
Turtleneck wrote:

What's the alternative? Tennis shoes and white sox? Come on.

One thing communism got right is no flip flops.

That seems like quite a leap. Maybe a pair of Sperry boat shoes. I do not know. Maybe the answer is do not wear shorts.

by **NigelUno** 2016-08-06, 10:56

DWags wrote:
Turtleneck wrote:

How did those sandals work out for you last night?

Good point, I had shoes on cleaning up the yard, getting shit ready for lthe wife and kid to come, took a shower put on sandles to sit down, remembered I needed to go get wood and fuck......

HE HAS RISEN!!!

by **Turtleneck** 2016-08-06, 10:57

tGreenWay wrote:
Turtleneck wrote:

No. I am an American so I do not wear shorts. Shorts are for people from weak countries.

You sound French.

You sound third world. Like Canadian third world. That's right. I said it. You sound Canadian.

by **Jake from State Farm** 2016-08-06, 11:07

LooseGoose wrote:
DWags wrote:Fuck, I wear Cargo shorts, sandals and t-shirts in the summer. Judge me, fuck you.

How's the foot/toe Wags?

I used to wear those when I was younger, until my brother in law mentioned that my left nut was hanging out one day while out fishing. I have no idea why he was looking at my crotch, but we did make it safely back to port with no further incidents.

by **DWags** 2016-08-06, 11:10

LooseGoose wrote:
DWags wrote:Fuck, I wear Cargo shorts, sandals and t-shirts in the summer. Judge me, fuck you.

How's the foot/toe Wags?

BTW, the person on the left has a huge vag. My good, Like a hot dog down a hall way.

by **Motown Spartan** 2016-08-06, 11:15

I don't wear flip flops. I'm not a monster.

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