Road Rage Incident. Did I win, Lose, or Draw?

First off, I'm an asshole. I will never debate the issue. I generally don't like people, they don't like me, and I only hang out with people who dislike people as much as I do.

Anyway, on my way home I turn left with the yellow turn arrow. Solid yellow, NOT red. So I'm going about 40 in a 45 cause it's a short shoot til the next light thats red. Look in my rear view mirror and this C bag is one foot off my bumper in her poor person Chevy Malibu. I give her the what up? hand motion, like "get off my ass bitch". No joy, still riding me. So of course I break check her (D bag move, I know). She gets pissed and swerves out and around. I put the Audi (A4, I'm poor) down and she's got no shot at merging but does it anyway and I have to slam on the binders and get in the center lane to avoid an accident. She didn't care. she called my bluff and was ready to trade paint. I was pissed. We get to the light and i pull into the right hand turn lane, pull up next to her and shout "You are a fat (she was, blanch approved fat at that) ****! A fat fucking ****! I pull forward and the kid in front of her said "Wow! she almost killed you!" I turn right, do a U turn and turn right and now lead that procession of cars. Pull a full Desani out of my cooler and get ready to turn right to get my daughter. As she approaches i squeeze the bottle with the force of a 14 year old boy choking the bishop. Water splashes all over her windshield and i hope it scared that fat **** to death. I'm calling a split decision victory.

Thoughts?

Sorry bob for wasting a bottle of our precious resource during this dry season...

I don't think there are ever any winners in these situations.  I'm guilty of exhibiting some of the same behavior when assholes abound on the roads, but the older I get the more likely I am to see it coming and just let the asshole be an asshole.  I feel bad about that too, because I feel like an enabler of the assholeness by rewarding them. Part of my attitude is just getting older.  With a grand kid on the way, I'd like his/her first 20 years, at least.

I hate to be tail gated, she sounds like a real bitch. That being said I'm always a fan of just letting the person win.

I don't think much good can come out of a road rage incident. The whole situation gets you close to getting cops, and lawyers involved. And that would lead to wasted time, money and what not.

Here's what I do - roll down the window and just waive them ahead. Go ahead asshole is what I say.

I hear ya guys. If I had any balls I would have just kept my speed and let her hit me. I'd like to see her explain it to the cops with a witness.

She totally won. She was the one willing to rub. You bitched out.

Which is really why you were so mad. You got bitched by a woman in a Malibu.

You didn't pull a gun. Always pull a gun. WTF is this water nonsense? Guns make points. Fear gets results.

Waiting for Ass Dan to chime in...

Turtleneck wrote:You didn't pull a gun. Always pull a gun. WTF is this water nonsense? Guns make points. Fear gets results.

You're right as usual. Damn it!

Rocinante wrote:Which is really why you were so mad. You got bitched by a woman in a Malibu.

This. No offense but you drive like a woman.

Triple Sparty wrote:

Rocinante wrote:Which is really why you were so mad. You got bitched by a woman in a Malibu.

This. No offense but you drive like a woman.

He started it the moment he bought an Audi. Nobody is going to respect him in an Audi. Next time, buy a....

You lost

Water?

At least pack a water gun next time.

NigelUno wrote:Water?

At least pack a water gun next time.

I wasn't going to waste my last sip of Beam.

Had any of this gHost story actually happened and an accident ensued, you'd be the one playing prom Queen in prison. But yeah, as this story goes, she made you her bitch.

NigelUno wrote:Water?

At least pack a water gun next time.

And if you want to live dangerously take the orange tip off it.

I'm calling draw. She had won until you did the water thing. That would have been funny to watch.

Floyd Robertson wrote:I'm guilty of exhibiting some of the same behavior when assholes abound on the roads, but the older I get the more likely I am to see it coming and just let the asshole be an asshole.

I'm heading in that direction but there are days I'm glad we're not in Texas with guns on our dash and in our back windows.

Snake Plissken wrote:

Floyd Robertson wrote:I'm guilty of exhibiting some of the same behavior when assholes abound on the roads, but the older I get the more likely I am to see it coming and just let the asshole be an asshole.

I'm heading in that direction but there are days I'm glad we're not in Texas with guns on our dash and in our back windows.

I can think of at least two incidents in the past couple of years here in MI where road rage has led to murder(s). The most recent was the guy who shot and killed a guy in/near Howell, and that stunning shootout in Ionia in which both ragers shot and killed each other.
There are plenty of dumbfucks in Michigan who have taken the fun out of a satisfying road rage incident. It's just not worth it.

Some high falutin' lady lawyer just got arrested in Hotlanta for road rage. She threw a coffee mug at another lady. Smashed her driver's side window.

NigelUno wrote:Some high falutin' lady lawyer just got arrested in Hotlanta for road rage. She threw a coffee mug at another lady. Smashed her driver's side window.

She dumb.

Fat chicks...pissed at the world. Im going to give you the nod for the verbal assault and water bottle move. I liked that.

If it was a dude, would you have done the same thing? Doubtful.

Motown Spartan wrote:If it was a dude, would you have done the same thing? Doubtful.

Of course not. I only look for confrontations with females.