Re: Embarrassing injury stories

by **Nordic** 2016-02-06, 14:43

LooseGoose wrote:1985-86 era
========
1st date with the woman I would eventually marry. We're at a house party, never been to this particular house before the owners were friends of friends. Waterford area. The night was going fine, enjoying myself and pounding beers/shots with friends out in the garage. Eventually it was time to piss, I excuse myself and go in the house only to find a line of about 8 women waiting for the bathroom. Being a country boy this wasn't a big deal for me, I headed back to the garage where I'd noticed an exterior door. I assumed I'd slip out that door, piss in the back yard and be back to drinking soon. I unlocked the door, opened it and stepped into the void. Unbeknownst to me they were in the midst of some porch work so it was a 4-5' drop. I landed on the uneven ground and broke my left ankle. Future wife to be had to drive me to the hospital. Ended up in the emergency room in Pontiac getting a cast put on. She then had to drive me home and help me into the house. In retrospect it was a fitting start to what would be a slow motion train wreck of a relationship.

TL:DR Version
Drank heavily, broke ankle, regretted getting the girl.

That sounds fucking awful

by **tTy** 2016-02-06, 15:04

I passed out on a toilet once and knocked myself out on a sink in a bar bathroom, but I'm going to need some time to type that one out.

by **Death Roe** 2016-02-06, 15:06

tTy wrote:I passed out on a toilet once and knocked myself out on a sink in a bar bathroom, but I'm going to need some time to type that one out.

Push too hard while pooing?

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2016-02-06, 15:11

tTy wrote:I passed out on a toilet once and knocked myself out on a sink in a bar bathroom, but I'm going to need some time to type that one out.

Forgot about the time I face planted with Bond. Post Illini game/tailgate in JLS era. About a week before I got married. Had a hotel room at the Residence Inn near Hagadorn. Some other friends a few rooms down. Opened the door to retire at the end of the night, cooler in one hand, tripped on rubber mat and went orbital bone first into the tile in the entry way with nothing to break my fall. Thought it was pretty funny. We went back to the other room where friends were still partying and they thought I put ketchup on my forehead as a joke. Embarrassing injury stories - Page 2 502811600

Embarrassing injury stories - Page 2 502811600

One of the sober chicks drove me to Sparrow to get stitched up. They rolled a gunshot victim in while I was waiting. My wife was not impressed when I got home.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2016-02-11, 22:37

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:I'm probably being a little bitch but I'm starting to become concerned that my knee is really fucked up. The pain at this point is clearly more than the healing scabs. I'm just not sure what else I could have actually done? Maybe I cracked my kneecap? God dammit. This is exactly what I need in my life right now.

I knew something weird was going on here. Shit started stinging yesterday, even moreso than it has been everyfuckingday since I hurt it. I figured it was either infected or "healing". Being the astute handicapper that I am, I went with the latter. Today it became painfully (literally) obvious that I was wrong. I had some client obligations and couldn't get to a doc until I got a window this afternoon. Doc and nurse's eyeballs about popped out when I undressed the wound. I conservatively put the pain at "8". I was told that if the antibiotics don't have me pain free by the morning I need to go to the ER because the infection has probably made its way into my bloodstream and I will need to be hospitalized.

Fun shit.

by **InTenSity** 2016-02-11, 22:46

I hope you're not patient zero in the zombie apocalypse.

by **Tim Wakefield** 2016-02-11, 22:47

Badass.

by **Death Roe** 2016-02-11, 22:48

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:I'm probably being a little bitch but I'm starting to become concerned that my knee is really fucked up. The pain at this point is clearly more than the healing scabs. I'm just not sure what else I could have actually done? Maybe I cracked my kneecap? God dammit. This is exactly what I need in my life right now.

I knew something weird was going on here. Shit started stinging yesterday, even moreso than it has been everyfuckingday since I hurt it. I figured it was either infected or "healing". Being the astute handicapper that I am, I went with the latter. Today it became painfully (literally) obvious that I was wrong. I had some client obligations and couldn't get to a doc until I got a window this afternoon. Doc and nurse's eyeballs about popped out when I undressed the wound. I conservatively put the pain at "8". I was told that if the antibiotics don't have me pain free by the morning I need to go to the ER because the infection has probably made its way into my bloodstream and I will need to be hospitalized.

Fun shit.

Don't let SD see you bitch about your knee, he has issues.

Anyways, that sucks man. We need you to keep posting regardless of ER situation.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2016-02-11, 22:53

Tim Wakefield wrote:Badass.

I wasn't gonna mention it because I think it's getting better but I'm bored and there ain't shit going on around here on tSwill tonight.

Frankly I don't have time to go to ER tomorrow. It's so funny, you become so marginalized as a dad but somehow it's not really a big deal.

by **tTy** 2016-02-12, 08:19

Post the pic, fucker!!!

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2016-12-18, 22:10

This happened in 2016. I was told in the ER the infection was "life threatening".

Embarrassing injury stories - Page 2 24865658291_970b2a4bed_z

by **Watch Out Pylon!** 2016-12-18, 22:35

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:This happened in 2016. I was told in the ER the infection was "life threatening".

That's a decent amount of infection. What happened?

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2016-12-18, 22:36

lol I realize I get too wordy but read the OP.

by **Watch Out Pylon!** 2016-12-18, 22:44

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:lol I realize I get too wordy but read the OP.

Ouch. I've done the same thing before. Didn't get hurt nearly as bad, but there's not a damn thing you can do once you start to go down.

by **WhiteBoyHatcher** 2016-12-18, 22:50

Watch Out Pylon! wrote:
WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:lol I realize I get too wordy but read the OP.

Ouch. I've done the same thing before. Didn't get hurt nearly as bad, but there's not a damn thing you can do once you start to go down.

Yep. I'm no hero but it's also a different deal altogether when you're holding your kid and trying to protect them. In retrospect it was a pretty brutal injury. lol I had ACL reconstruction on my left knee. And this on my right one. When I wear shorts people don't even notice my 6 inch ACL scar. But their eyes bug out and ask what the fuck is wrong with my right knee. #fuck2016

by **DWags** 2016-12-18, 23:24

WhiteBoyHatcher wrote:This happened in 2016. I was told in the ER the infection was "life threatening".

Yeah, that doesn't look right.

by **Nordic** 2016-12-19, 07:36

tTy wrote:I passed out on a toilet once and knocked myself out on a sink in a bar bathroom, but I'm going to need some time to type that one out.

Bump

by **Watch Out Pylon!** 2016-12-19, 08:01

Nordic wrote:
tTy wrote:I passed out on a toilet once and knocked myself out on a sink in a bar bathroom, but I'm going to need some time to type that one out.

Bump

It's a really long story. Either that or he's passed out.

by **Frank Ricard** 2016-12-19, 09:25

I sprained my ankle while sitting in my recliner. Thought my foot had fallen asleep so I stand up and my ankle is the size of a grapefruit. On crutches 3 days.

by **Death Roe** 2016-12-19, 09:59

I farted and pulled a back muscle.

by TheReal_LWS 2016-12-19, 10:06

I thought I told this before. Anyway a few years ago, the wife had bought a new toilet seat. One of those plastic ones like you find in a gas stations bathroom. The piece of crap would slide to one side or the other. So I tried to adjust it by shifting my weight while dropping a deuce, threw my back out. Had to go to physical therapy to have it put back in. Doctor and therapists would all ask "how did you hurt it?" Not a fun story to have to tell.

Went out and bought a real toilet seat after that.

Oh, and 34/34, 21 BMI

by Sponsored content